"Ain't like the old days."
"Yeah, the kids had respect back then. That's 'cause they was brought up right, not all pampered and spoiled like they are now."
"Why sure. You talked back like some of these kids talk nowadays and you're backside 'd get a good tanning, that's what would happen."
"You got to lay down the law, that's what you got to do. Teach your kids some respect. That's the problem, you see. Kids don't respect their parents anymore."
"Naw, they just do what they please. Like wild dogs, that's all they is. A pack of wild dogs."
"You know what I can't figure out is what they're all so angry about. When I was their age we didn't have no TV or Nintendo's or any of that. We did our chores and was grateful for everything we got. But these kids of today, they're always pissing and moaning about something, and joining gangs and shooting each other dead. What are they all so angry about?"
"It's all that TV they're watching. That's what does it to them. That and them videogames. They watch that stuff and it's like they want to go out and shoot someone, just like the people on TV. "
"And that music they listen to. That is, if you can call it music. All that cursing and sex and violence and such. How is that music? And little kids listening to it too. And their mothers don't say nothing. It's like the whole country's gone crazy."
"Yeah, it ain't like it used to be. Used to be you'd drive your girl out someplace quiet and turn on something romantic and, well, you know. Ain't like that anymore. Now you like a girl you just grab her and take her into the mens room, and 9 months later she's pregnant and applying for welfare."
"You're right. The romance is gone. Everything is sex, sex, sex. Hell, they even post pictures of it on the internet. Back where I come from we used to call girls like that sluts, but now they call them celebrities. Like that, uh, you know, Hilton girl. You hear about that. Had sex right there on the internet."
"Well listen to the songs. It's all bitch this and ho that. That's all they know."
"Those aren't songs. 'Tennessee Waltz', now that was a song. No sex and violence there. You could take a girl out on the dance floor and hold her close and not feel embarrassed by what they was singing with a song like that."
"Sure you could, because songs were romantic back then. Just a bunch of grunting and screaming is all they do now."
"You're right. We had songs about love and feelings, but all they sing about nowadays is sex and violence. No wonder these kids are all screwed up."
"You know I can still remember my dear old grandma sitting in her rocker listening to those old Jimmie Rodgers records. That was music, my friend. That was music. None of this sex and violence."
"Yeah, my grandma loved that Jimmie Rodgers too. You remember that ol' song, what was it called - T for Texas."
"T for Texas, T for Tennessee. T for Texas, T for Tennessee. T for Thelma, that gal made a wreck out of me."
"Yeah that's the one. I can still see my grandma sitting in her rocker listening to that song too. Kind of makes me want to cry to stop and think about it."
"If you don't want me, mama, you sure don't have to stall. If you don't want me mama, you sure don't have to stall. 'Cause I can get more women, than a passenger train can haul."
"That's good. Keep going."
"I'm gonna buy me a pistol, just as long as I am tall. Gonna buy me a pistol, just as long as I am tall. And I'm gonna shoot poor Thelma, just to watch her jump and fall."
"That part always made grandma cry a little."
"I'm going where the water drinks like cherry wine. I'm going where the water, drinks like cherry wine. 'Cause the Georgia water tastes like turpentine. Gonna buy me a shotgun with a great long shiny barrel. Gonna buy me a shotgun with a great long shiny barrel. Then I'm gonna shoot that rounder stole away my Gal."
"Yodel-a-ee-hoo, a-ee-hoo, a-lay-eee"
"Rather drink muddy water, sleep in a hollow log. Rather drink muddy water, sleep in a hollow log. Than to be in Atlanta, treated like a dirty dog."
"Yodel-a-ee-hoo, a-ee-hoo, a-lay-eee. Ha, ha, ha. That sure does bring back some memories. They don't write 'em like that anymore, do they."
"No sir, not like that. No sir."
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Sell in May and Go Away
"Hello everyone and welcome to Weekly Business Roundup, where each week we look back at what was making news on Wall Street, and what lies ahead for you and your money. I'm your host Jackson Bailey."
(go to camera 2)
"Well, after what proved to be a particularly brutal week for investors, with the stock market in a deep decline and continued weakness in housing and the credit markets in turmoil, what should investors be doing now? Here to talk about that with us this week is our special guest Dr. Jack Kevorkian. Dr. Kevorkian welcome."
"Thanks for having me."
"What about this market? What's going on out there? Do you think the subprime mortgage mess is to blame, and have we seen the worst of it?"
"Before I get into that, Jackson, do you mind if I ask you something? That is, sre you feeling alright? I can't help noticing that you seem to be in some kind of pain."
"No, I feel fine. I guess I slept a little funny last night and now I've got some stiffness in my neck, but I feel great. Really."
"Oh, ok, I just thought I'd ask. You know no one has to live in pain, Jackson. There are other...more humane ways to deal with these very personal issues."
"No, Dr. Kevorkian - honest, I'm alright. Now back to the markets."
"Yes it was a very tough week for investors, wasn't it. How they've suffered, and a miserable, futile kind of suffering as well. In times like these I think it's important for investors to weigh their options, and consider some of the alternatives, if you know what I mean."
"How about those investors who sold bonds a few weeks ago when we had that big selloff in the bond market and saw the yields go well above 5%, only to invest that money in stocks and watch the stock market promptly go into the toilet just as the bond market started to rally and regain it's losses. What would you say to them?"
"I'd tell them that they must feel like total assess, but there's no reason to feel that way - worthless and stupid, if you know what I mean. It's all so avoidable."
"Well, Dr. Kevorkian, what would be your advice to investors in times like these?"
"My advice would be to face the truth, no matter how brutal, and ask themselves some hard questions. Can they really go on living like this, and what about the future? Sleeping on park benches and eating out of garbage cans - is that how they want to live out the rest of their days?"
"You don't mean..."
"I can offer them another way. A machine. It's very simple and humane, and portable too. That's so important for investor's who cherish their privacy."
"But Dr. Kevorkian, it's only money. I mean, for crying out loud, it's only numbers on a piece of paper."
"Only money? Is that what you think? Is that what your audience thinks? C'mon Jackson, let's be..."
"No. That's enough. The interview is over. This is a finance show, not The Twilight Zone."
"Sometimes it can be comforting to take control over your own destiny and..."
"I said that's enough Doc. People, if you don't know what to do with your money then put it in a CD or money market account. Take your 5.25% and wait for the dust to clear. But whatever you do, don't listen to this nut job."
"How often we fear what we don't under..."
"Will somebody please cut his mike. Thank you. Please join me next time on Weekly Business Roundtable when we'll discuss mezzanine subprime collateralized debt obligations with our special guest Tony Danza, and until then have a great week."
(but enough about the economy, let's talk about me)
Did I tell you I bought a bike? No, not a "hawg", but a bicycle. A Trek 7200 with Alpha Aluminum frame, RST CT-COM I C7 50 mm front suspension, alloy front and Shimano RM60 rear hub with Matrix 750 rims, a Shimano TX71 48/38/28 crank (with chainguard), and a Shimano Alivio rear derailleur, to be exact. I have no idea what any of that means, but it cost me $380 bucks.
First I should say that back in my younger days I had a Raleigh 10 speed which I used to ride just about everywhere, but since then my riding has been a little, uh, sporadic. After my Raleigh I bought a Mongoose hybrid that I rode for a while, but that soon found it's way to the trash heap. Since then, I haven't done much (any) bike riding.
That said, I decided I needed to get some exercise and since I live in one of the best bicycling areas in the country (that's a fact - I read it in a magazine), I bought the Trek. The only reason I'm bringing this up is because I know that there are probably some people out there who are in the same kind of shape I'm in and might not have done much bike riding lately, and if that's the case, then I've got some good news for you.
First of all, forget about that bike you used to ride years and years ago. These modern bikes are nothing at all like those. Bicycle technology has advanced leaps and bounds over that old 10 speed you used to ride. This Trek I've got is a 24 speed hybrid which means lots of gears to work with and no more drop down handlebars. Of course that has it's advantages and disadvantages. For example, try riding into the wind and you'll quickly discover the advantages of a bent-over riding position, but, all in all, us old folks will generally find the upright seating and the extra gears a little more comfortable and reassuring.
The Trek also has shocks on the front fork and underneath the seat, which is also greatly appreciated by us old geezers. I won't say the ride is butter smooth, but it's a lot better than those bone shaking models we rode as youngsters. The seat itself is generously padded, with extra padding provided in the butt cheek areas and a little groove running down the center of the saddle. Mothers and daughters may not appreciate the groove, but fathers and sons surely will.
The bike itself is smooth as silk to ride and shift. In the old days we used to have those derailleurs that went "chick-chick-chick" as we coasted along, but nowadays these things are absolutely silent. That can be dangerous if you happen to come up behind someone who can't hear you coming, so the Trek also has a little bell mounted on the handlebars that you can ring to let them know you're coming. Personally, I'd rather just yell "Out of My Way!" than ring that stupid little bell, but to each his own.
So there you have it. My new Trek 7200. The first time I rode the thing I went about 2 blocks before my legs started to burn and my lungs started running out of oxygen, but now I can ride a comfortable 7 miles or so each day. It's not much, about a half hour or so, but it's a start, and I'm thinking about getting a rack mounted on the thing so I can start commuting to work every now and then. We'll see. Meanwhile, I'm happy just pedaling along. I should mention that I'm already on my fourth tube for the rear tire because of all the garbage and debris that's piled up on the streets around here. That's the one drag about riding a bike, so if you're gonna start riding I'd definitely suggest you carry an extra tube, some CO2 cartridges and a tire tool with you. But if you can learn to fix a flat, then biking is actually a lot of fun.
And that's what's new in my world. Aren't you glad you stopped by?
(go to camera 2)
"Well, after what proved to be a particularly brutal week for investors, with the stock market in a deep decline and continued weakness in housing and the credit markets in turmoil, what should investors be doing now? Here to talk about that with us this week is our special guest Dr. Jack Kevorkian. Dr. Kevorkian welcome."
"Thanks for having me."
"What about this market? What's going on out there? Do you think the subprime mortgage mess is to blame, and have we seen the worst of it?"
"Before I get into that, Jackson, do you mind if I ask you something? That is, sre you feeling alright? I can't help noticing that you seem to be in some kind of pain."
"No, I feel fine. I guess I slept a little funny last night and now I've got some stiffness in my neck, but I feel great. Really."
"Oh, ok, I just thought I'd ask. You know no one has to live in pain, Jackson. There are other...more humane ways to deal with these very personal issues."
"No, Dr. Kevorkian - honest, I'm alright. Now back to the markets."
"Yes it was a very tough week for investors, wasn't it. How they've suffered, and a miserable, futile kind of suffering as well. In times like these I think it's important for investors to weigh their options, and consider some of the alternatives, if you know what I mean."
"How about those investors who sold bonds a few weeks ago when we had that big selloff in the bond market and saw the yields go well above 5%, only to invest that money in stocks and watch the stock market promptly go into the toilet just as the bond market started to rally and regain it's losses. What would you say to them?"
"I'd tell them that they must feel like total assess, but there's no reason to feel that way - worthless and stupid, if you know what I mean. It's all so avoidable."
"Well, Dr. Kevorkian, what would be your advice to investors in times like these?"
"My advice would be to face the truth, no matter how brutal, and ask themselves some hard questions. Can they really go on living like this, and what about the future? Sleeping on park benches and eating out of garbage cans - is that how they want to live out the rest of their days?"
"You don't mean..."
"I can offer them another way. A machine. It's very simple and humane, and portable too. That's so important for investor's who cherish their privacy."
"But Dr. Kevorkian, it's only money. I mean, for crying out loud, it's only numbers on a piece of paper."
"Only money? Is that what you think? Is that what your audience thinks? C'mon Jackson, let's be..."
"No. That's enough. The interview is over. This is a finance show, not The Twilight Zone."
"Sometimes it can be comforting to take control over your own destiny and..."
"I said that's enough Doc. People, if you don't know what to do with your money then put it in a CD or money market account. Take your 5.25% and wait for the dust to clear. But whatever you do, don't listen to this nut job."
"How often we fear what we don't under..."
"Will somebody please cut his mike. Thank you. Please join me next time on Weekly Business Roundtable when we'll discuss mezzanine subprime collateralized debt obligations with our special guest Tony Danza, and until then have a great week."
(but enough about the economy, let's talk about me)
Did I tell you I bought a bike? No, not a "hawg", but a bicycle. A Trek 7200 with Alpha Aluminum frame, RST CT-COM I C7 50 mm front suspension, alloy front and Shimano RM60 rear hub with Matrix 750 rims, a Shimano TX71 48/38/28 crank (with chainguard), and a Shimano Alivio rear derailleur, to be exact. I have no idea what any of that means, but it cost me $380 bucks.
First I should say that back in my younger days I had a Raleigh 10 speed which I used to ride just about everywhere, but since then my riding has been a little, uh, sporadic. After my Raleigh I bought a Mongoose hybrid that I rode for a while, but that soon found it's way to the trash heap. Since then, I haven't done much (any) bike riding.
That said, I decided I needed to get some exercise and since I live in one of the best bicycling areas in the country (that's a fact - I read it in a magazine), I bought the Trek. The only reason I'm bringing this up is because I know that there are probably some people out there who are in the same kind of shape I'm in and might not have done much bike riding lately, and if that's the case, then I've got some good news for you.
First of all, forget about that bike you used to ride years and years ago. These modern bikes are nothing at all like those. Bicycle technology has advanced leaps and bounds over that old 10 speed you used to ride. This Trek I've got is a 24 speed hybrid which means lots of gears to work with and no more drop down handlebars. Of course that has it's advantages and disadvantages. For example, try riding into the wind and you'll quickly discover the advantages of a bent-over riding position, but, all in all, us old folks will generally find the upright seating and the extra gears a little more comfortable and reassuring.
The Trek also has shocks on the front fork and underneath the seat, which is also greatly appreciated by us old geezers. I won't say the ride is butter smooth, but it's a lot better than those bone shaking models we rode as youngsters. The seat itself is generously padded, with extra padding provided in the butt cheek areas and a little groove running down the center of the saddle. Mothers and daughters may not appreciate the groove, but fathers and sons surely will.
The bike itself is smooth as silk to ride and shift. In the old days we used to have those derailleurs that went "chick-chick-chick" as we coasted along, but nowadays these things are absolutely silent. That can be dangerous if you happen to come up behind someone who can't hear you coming, so the Trek also has a little bell mounted on the handlebars that you can ring to let them know you're coming. Personally, I'd rather just yell "Out of My Way!" than ring that stupid little bell, but to each his own.So there you have it. My new Trek 7200. The first time I rode the thing I went about 2 blocks before my legs started to burn and my lungs started running out of oxygen, but now I can ride a comfortable 7 miles or so each day. It's not much, about a half hour or so, but it's a start, and I'm thinking about getting a rack mounted on the thing so I can start commuting to work every now and then. We'll see. Meanwhile, I'm happy just pedaling along. I should mention that I'm already on my fourth tube for the rear tire because of all the garbage and debris that's piled up on the streets around here. That's the one drag about riding a bike, so if you're gonna start riding I'd definitely suggest you carry an extra tube, some CO2 cartridges and a tire tool with you. But if you can learn to fix a flat, then biking is actually a lot of fun.
And that's what's new in my world. Aren't you glad you stopped by?
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