Sentimental Goop

It must have been in the sixth grade, maybe junior high, ... no the sixth grade. I remember now because it was at Noble Elementary. The Art Room was next to the Utility Room where they used to sell the treats on Treat Days, when our mothers would give us a dime to take to school and where we'd line up during the afternoon recess for popcorn balls or fudgesicles or whatever the snack was that day. Yes, it was the sixth grade, and the Art Room was down at the end of the building next to the Utility Room.

I was a horrible artist. Forget watercolors or colored pencils, I couldn't even fingerpaint anything beyond the basic rectangles and circles, but in the sixth grade everyone had to take Art Class and luckily the teacher wasn't too hard on us and would give even the most ham-handed of artists a B if they showed up for class everyday. I showed up and was perfectly content to get my B.

I remember one of her assignments particularly well. We were each to select an animal and return the following week with a drawing. I don't know why I chose a bird, perhaps because I couldn't draw an elephant, although truthfully I couldn't draw a bird either beyond the basic "m" shapes that some people use to draw birds in the distance. Either way, my assignment was to draw a pencil sketch of a bird and I determined to go home and come up with something with a beak and feathers, even if it didn't exactly resemble the real thing.

When I got home I saw my mother sewing in the family room, as was her usual custom in those days, and she saw the sheets of white construction paper the art teacher had given me to use for my drawing. She asked about the construction paper and I told her about the assignment. She smiled at me and asked "Do you know how to draw a bird?", knowing full well I couldn't draw a brick, let alone a bird.

"No" I said, "I'll just copy one from the encyclopedia."

"Well, it's easy to draw a bird" she explained, "get me some paper and I'll show you how."

I was a little suprised at that. In all the years I'd known my mother (and I'd known her all my life) I had never seen her draw anything before. Well, except for kanji. I can still remember her sitting hunched over the kitchen table with her reading glasses on and writing these letters to her family back in Japan that would take days, even weeks to finish. Each character had to carefully stroked, each column worked slowly from right to left. Her kanji skills were superb, no doubt honed by her years working as a government copyest during the war, and each character it's own little work of art.

But drawing, that was something different. She had a friend named Ruth who was a painter and she used to go over to her house and admire the unframed paintings that she had laying around her garage, but whenever Ruth offered her lessons she declined telling her that she was much too busy looking after the house and family to ever take up painting. Which was true, I suppose, although outside of Ruth's garage she never seemed to show much interest.

Then I remember a story my mother used to tell. When she was a little girl, about 12 or 13, she told me, she had won an art competition at her school. It wasn't anything major, hers was a little town and well outside the orbit of Tokyo or the other major cities to the south, but she took took first place and was even a little overcome when one of the local VIP's saw her painting and decided that it should be hung in the hallway of the local government building. I remember how proudly she used to tell that story and how happily she remembered going down to the government building and seeing her painting upon the wall. In her town that government building was second only to the Emporer's Palace as a place of respect and importance, and the entire family felt honored to have her painting seen there.

I don't know what dreams my mother dreamed in those days, but she must have dreamed of going to a great art school I suppose, or university, or maybe even getting an imperial commission, who knows, but things didn't turn out that way. As my mother always used to finish the story, it was only months later that all the children at the school were called out of class to listen to an announcement from Tokyo that Japan had just won a great victory over the United States. It was December 8, 1941, and although she didn't know it at the time, all her dreams were gone.

As I gave my mother some blank sheets of paper I remembered her story. That's right, I thought, she can draw, at least she used to draw even though she doesn't draw anymore. My mother laid the sheet of paper flat over the hard cover of my school binder and began drawing a long slender outline on the paper. "This is the breast" she told me, "and the wings will go here." As she continued drawing her conversation began to fade. Slowly the bird began to appear on the paper, the breast, the wings, the head, the feet, the beak and the eyes. She drew in feathers and the bird acquired a texture - a texture so soft you could almost reach out an touch it. As I watched her continue on it became clear to me that this was not the work of an amateur or hobbyist. Ruth was a hobbyist and though I thought her paintings were just fine, my mother could draw much better than Ruth. Even with just a pencil and paper she created something more alive and real than any of Ruth's fruit bowls or flower vases.

When she finished my mother smiled at me and gave me a look like "See, that's how you draw a bird", though if I lived to be a hundred and ten years old I knew I'd never be able to draw anything like that. I took the drawing and asked her "Mom, how come I've never seen you draw before. I didn't know you could draw like this." My mother never answered me, and in all the remaining years of her life I never remember her once picking up a pencil and drawing anything ever again.

So why am I writing this? Well, you asked me what I wanted for Christmas, didn't you. I know I didn't give much of an answer, but there's a reason. It would just sound too corny, too sentimental to say it out loud. I grow older and find that I don't care so much about having things I've never had before. Sure, when you're a kid you always want the newest thing, the newest toy or whatever, but lately I find myself wanting things I used to have and lost. People I used to know, names I used to remember, and little things I gathered along the way and misplaced.

Like a picture of a bird that my mother drew for me one day after school. If I could have one Christmas wish it would be to have back that afternoon, and to take that picture and safely pack it away knowing how much it would mean to me someday. Then if someone should ever see her photograph and ask "who was that?" I could take out the drawing and show them. "She was my mother", I'd say, "and she had hidden talents."

The Soapbox of the World

I know that there are still some people out there who are new to the world of blogs, and if you're one of them and trying to figure this whole blog thing out then all I have to say is "You're too late". Sorry, man, the party's over.

Blogs are officially Old-School now. The new thing in town is the Podcast, and if that leaves you feeling a little behind the curve, don't worry - podcasts are simply audio blogs that are being sydicated around the web via RSS feeds. And for those who don't know what an RSS feed is... well, perhaps it's time for you retire to a quiet corner somewhere and try to recall exactly when it was that the world passed you by.

No, I don't mean that. Go ask your kids or grandkids and maybe they can get you up to speed.

Anyways, podcasts are in, man. Not that they're anything new, mind you, because all of the podcasts I've seen are just the same old mp3 files that have been floating around the net for years. I guess what's new is the delivery mechanism and the fact that you sync these files with your Ipod (hence "podcast" - clever folks, this new generation). I don't have an Ipod but it's easy enough to download the files and play them on any mp3 player you happen to have, and though I've only listened to a couple of these things so far, I still think it's safe to say that with the arrival of the podcast we stand upon the cusp of the total collapse and disintegration of civilization and rational thought as we know it.

Why, you ask? Well, first of all let me say that not every podcast is a total waste of time. There are a few professionally produced ones out there that are simply using the podcasting apparatus as a way to extend their reach into new areas of the internet. Certainly nothing wrong with that, but these are far from common and I'd say the vast majority of podcasts that I've heard so far are amateur affairs, the internet equivalent of giving a 6 year old a microphone and tape recorder and telling him to just start talking. "Say something, Mikey. Anything. Anything that comes to mind."

Ha, you say, so what? Look at this blog. Who are you to be pointing fingers and accusing others of filling the internet with mindless blather? Well, that's true, but as I see it blogging has two distinct advantages over podcasting. The first is that you only have to read a line or two of most blogs to know whether you should bother reading any further, but you may have to listen to some obnoxious jerk for one, maybe two full minutes before you realize that he's not going to get any less obnoxious or be any less of a jerk and stop the podcast. Blogs are simply easier to browse than podcasts. The second advantage that blogs have is that most are quiet and thoughtful while podcasts are more like some guy sitting next to you in a restaurant talking on his cellphone.

Advantages, disadvantages, it doesn't really matter, though, because as you've probably heard there are new Ipod's coming out that are going to have LCD screens and be able to play video as well as audio. This means that it's only a matter of time before we start seeing video podcasts, and when that happens I believe we will have finally reached the point at which civilization reaches it's zenith and starts it's long fall to the bottom. And my reason is simple.

Blogs are for readers, but most members of the Ipod generation are not readers, they are TV watchers. I predict that when they finally acquire a portable video device (Ipod) that allows them to be both consumers and producers of their own video content then there is going to be an explosion of media across the internet that will make this whole blogging thing seem no more than a flea on the back of an elephant. The world is going to be saturated with media, and the only question will be "how do we consume it all?"

I say we'll consume it by devolving into something resembling a sea anemone. We'll just anchor ourselves to some rock and use our tentacles to filter through the vast ocean of media around us, probing for some tasty little morsel that might happen to come our way.

Whatever happens I think that one of the lessons we've learned from all this blogging and chatting and message boarding is that as the quantity of discourse increases, the quality of discourse declines. There may be exceptions, but time and time again I've seen quality message boards and quality groups overwhelmed by vast invasions of the trolls and sociopaths, and therefore my prediction is that in the not too distant future the world discussion will be dominated by 14 year old boys with serious personality problems, and we'll all be watching it on our Ipods.

Of course, I could be wrong and my predictions usually are, but as Jeanne Dixon proved you can be wrong 10,000 times and no one will care, but be right once and the world will call you a prophet.

An Enigmatic Variation (ButWe Still Love Ya, Hilary)

I lack the expertise and experience to be a real music critic and I won't try to pass myself off as one, but I do have a quick comment about Hilary Hahn's latest CD of the Elgar Violin Concerto, and that comment would be

I don't get it.

I guess I've listened to the piece a dozen, maybe two dozen times since I bought it and can't figure out for the life of me why Hilary chose this piece for the new CD. Sure there are plenty of virtuoso moments, and some interesting and expressive passages, but speaking purely as a layman, a member of the ignorant public that is, the piece as a whole just doesn't seem to hang together. Everytime it starts down an interesting path it just seems to fizzle out and wander, and at times even Hilary herself seems to wander from the piece and sort of disengage.

It doesn't help that she didn't write any liner notes for this CD and has been her usual practice in the past. A few insights from her as to why she feels so passionate about Elgar would have been welcome and certainly gone a long way towards explaining why she recorded it.

Most of the reviews I've read have been generally positive although a few have pretty much panned the whole CD and questioned Hilary's ability to pull off this concerto off. I have to admit that I wondered about that myself, but as luck would have it I found one of the performances cited by some of the critics as worthy of the piece on Rhapsody and was able to give it a listen. It's an old Albert Sammons recording that is supposed to be one of the greatest ever made of this concerto, and as far as I'm concerned it doesn't fare any better.

I don't know, I just get the feeling I'm missing something here. When Hilary Hahn recorded the Stravinsky Violin Concerto that was a revelation to me (the ignorant public) and quickly became one of my favorite pieces. When she recorded the Bach Violin Concertos (which some critics complained "were played too fast", a comment which has always reminded me of the "too many notes" line from Amadeus) it seemed she brought some freshness into roads well travelled. But with the Elgar...I can't find it. Whatever she found in the piece is still a mystery to me. I don't feel let down, though, and who knowsl, maybe after a couple of dozen more listens it'll come to me.

So let me put on my music critic's hat here and make a recommendation. The Lark Ascending is beautifully played, full of expression and light as a feather. If you don't have The Lark in your collection it is almost worth the price of the CD just for this piece alone. On the other hand, if you're not a confirmed Hilary Hahn fan or just a new Hilary Hahn fan, then this is probably not the CD for you, and certainly not the CD to start your new Hilary Hahn collection. Go back a year and get the Bach Concertos with Jeffrey Kahane and the LA Chamber Orchestra. And don't worry if she plays too fast, it'll grow on you.

Fish Gotta Swim, Birds Gotta Fly

When it comes to the weather we Californians are a bunch of wusses. Yeah, I'm a Californian and proud of it, but the truth is that we just can't handle real weather. Earthquakes, sure, fires, no problem, but let a little rain fall and ... Today for example, a storm blew into Northern California and dumped around an inch or two of water. Now in Houston Texas or Kansas City Mo. that might not be that big of a deal, but here in California it was page one news, and it's almost embarrasing the way all the local news stations nearly soiled themselves trying to get us through our "weather crisis." I mean, from the way they covered it you would have thought that it was time to get FEMA on the case or request some disaster relief from Florida or Alabama.

Weather wusses, that's what we are.

What I like the best is the news coverage leading up to the storm. As the storm approaches every station and newspaper starts running these stories on how to prepare for the coming storm and what to do when the rain starts falling. I mean, how exactly do you prepare for an inch of rain? Do you stock the cellar with canned foods and bottled water? Do you gather blankets and flashlights and bring all the animals inside? Would it be overreacting to pick up some plywood and start boarding up the windows? No, let's face it, we Californians are just...

Weather wusses.

To give you a little illustration of what I mean I've included this transcript from the local news. This isn't the weatherman part but the part where the reporter goes out to one of the local streams and gives us a live report on the rain coming down. I'm sure they do it where you come from too, cause why look out the window when you can see the rain on TV. Anyways, here goes:

"And now let's go out to Sandy Creek where our Bob Blitzer is standing by live to update us on the weather conditions. Bob, what have you got for us?"

"Hi, Frank, I'm out here at Sandy Creek where, as you can see, it's raining."

"Can you describe the rain for us, Bob?"

"Well, it's watery and seems to be dropping from the sky. Maybe if we can get the camera turned around and look over there by the trees the viewers can see what we mean. There. I don't know if the viewers at home can see this, but it seems to be coming down in droplike fashion and forming little puddles on the ground."

"How about the creek, Bob. Is the rain having any effect on the water levels there?"

"Yes, Frank, that's an excellent question. According to experts I've talked to, as the rain continues to fall much of it will end up in the creek you see behind me. This will cause the volume of water flowing in the creek to increase and as we head further into this storm we could actually see water levels rise."

"Is there any possiblity of flooding at this point?"

"Well, the creek is currently about 27 feet below flood stage, so I doubt it. But it is possible that as this crisis continues to unfold we could see the number to drop to 26 feet, 11 inches, or less. Of course, we'll be here all night to monitor the situation and report back to you if anything new should develop."

"Thank you Bob. You stay dry out there and get back safe to your wife and family, ok."

"My wife left me Frank."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know..."

"How could you?"

"Well thank you Bob. That's Bob Blitzer reporting live from Sandy Creek."

"She said she didn't love me anymore, Frank. She said she found someone else. All this time I'm out bustin' my butt trying to..."

"Yes, thanks for the live report Bob. Coming up next on Big News 10 at eleven we'll bring you exclusive coverage of..."

"I feel terrible Frank. I wish you wouldn't leave me like this... She won't get the kids, you know. I'll never let her take my children. Do you understand? I'll, never let them live in the same house with that whore. 'Cause that's what she is Frank. She had me fooled for a while, but now I know. She's just a lying, cheating, ungrateful, two-timing sl..."

"Whoops, seems we've lost our live feed. We'll try to get back to Bob a later in the newscast."

Well, anyways, that's the headlines from out here in California.

I Love You California

For as long as I can remember the government of the state of California has only had two items on it's legislative agenda. The first being gerrymandering, and the second pork-barreling. I kid you not and I don't think a single Californian will be suprised if after the upcoming election the first order of business in Sacramento is redrawing the district lines, followed closely by the annual obstruct the budget process. Yes, as sure as summer follows spring the accusations will fly back and forth across the aisle, and in the end every Senator and Assemblyman will be careful to get their piece of the pie, and all the other business of the state will go unattended.

The reason I bring this up is because I just got back from vacation and what should I find awaiting me in my unopened pile of mail but my 2004 Voter Information Guide (and supplement). In other states that might not be much of a deal and certainly not worth mentioning in this blog or anywhere else, but you see in California, because of our disfunctional state governement, each election presents us with these things called propositions where the voters are asked to enact the legislation that our legislators are too distracted to consider.

What this means is that every election year a Voter Information Guide (VIG) arrives in the mail with page upon page of legislative mumbo jumbo that we are asked to study and vote on. This years VIG, I'm happy to report, runs a mere 125 pages (or 146 pages total with the 21 page supplement) and presents us with no less than sixteen different propositions to consider before we head out to the voting booth on November 2nd. And of course Californians, being the conscientious and responsible citizens we are, read each page carefully and completely, highlighting significant points and engaging our fellow citizens in careful and thoughtful deliberation before making our choices on these important issues.

Or maybe not.

Actually, most of us probably just watch the commercials - they're great. They always feature a spokesperson from some group calling itself Taxpayers for a Better California or Citizens for Responsible Government telling us how voting Yes on this proposition is going make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. These people are sometimes countered by spokesman from some other group calling itself Fairness for All California or The Jarvis Taxpayers Alliance telling us if we vote Yes on this proposition then the governement is going to start throwing babies from planes, and so the debate is started with each side telling us not to let ourselves be decieved by the other. Of course most of us don't completely understand the issues to begin with so we become confused and say "Gosh, I love that warm and fuzzy feeling but I don't think it's right that they should throw babies from planes. What should I do?"

And so we turn to the VIG. Here we get the actual text of the proposed legislation and a legislative analysis that tries to explain to us what it is we just read. Then, of course, we get the arguments pro and con which mimic more or less what we've been hearing on the commercials, and then, being fully informed by our 3 minutes of study, we head to the polling place and cast our ballot, fully secure in the knowledge that if the proposition is defeated it'll probably show up again in the next election, and if passed, it will be overturned by the courts.

Democracy in action!

Of course along with the VIG (and supplement) we also get our sample ballots which are my favorite part of the whole electoral process. First we get five more pieces of legislation to vote on (called County or City Measures) plus we also get page after page of candidate's statements for all the local elective offices like School Board Member or Water District Superintendent. Used to be in the old days when political machines ran things you didn't really need to pay much attention to these sorts of local offices - you just voted for Boss Tweed's man or Boss Pendergast's man and that was that. But now that we've removed all the corruption from our politics things have gotten much harder. Thank goodness we have the candidate's statements to sort these things out.

Hmm, I see Candidate A is for good schools and lower crime. Whew, can't say he's afraid to take a controversial stand on the issues. He describes himself as a tough, no-nonsense businessman who knows how to get things done and is endorsed by the blah-blah-blah, the blah-blah-blah, the blah-blah-blah, etc... Sounds like the candidate for me. Let's see what his opponent has to say.

Hmm, seems she's also for good schools and lower crime. This is going to be harder than I thought. She has twenty years experience as an educator and administrator, understands the problems facing our schools and is endorsed by the blah-blah-blah, the blah-blah-blah, the blah-blah-blah and the blah-blah-blah too. All fine organizations. I guess I'll have to decide between her and Candidate A, but let's see what the third candidate has to say.

Hmm, Candidate C describes himself has a indolent ne'er-do-well who supports graft, bribery and dumb kids. He promises that if elected he'll fade into obscurity and never be heard from again till next election and do everything he can in the meantime to make sure that every squeaking wheel that can pay the freight gets its axle greased.

Finally, an honest politician. You know who I'm voting for.

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

I thought I'd try a picture blog (plog?) today. Just a couple of shots of Mt. St. Helens and a shot from my hike today up around Multnomah Falls. And you thought you had some good vacation pictures.



A Sleeping Giant. Mt. St. Helens rests
after a tumultuous and eventful week.




It's lonely here way up on the mountain. Whoops!
Looks like I've got some company.



Lower Multnomah Falls. The bridge in
the distance is part of the journey ahead.

On Top of Old Smokey

Well, I drove all the way to Portland only to find out they cancelled the volcano. Doesn't that just figure. No rock, no ash, no steam clouds rising ominously into the sky, no James Mason and Pat Boone - just hundreds of rangers and policemen to keep all the damn fools like me off of the mountain. That's the way it goes, I guess.

But then again it's not a total waste. After all, I'm in Portland Oregon, the vacation capital of the world with plenty of other sights and attractions to keep the out-of-town visitor occupied. Like, um...let me see. I'll think of something.

Actually they're expecting a beautiful day tomorrow so I'm going to be headed off to the great outdoors to get in a little hiking. Multnomah Falls sounds interesting or maybe Mt. Hood. I did some hiking around there when I was a kid so it might be fun to see if I can still find some of the old trails. Of course, after tomorrow the sunshine ends and they're expecting a rainstorm to blow in. Huh, what else is new. Guess I'll just head back to California when that happens.

Damn volcano! If I had gotten here yesterday I would have made it in time to see Mt. St. Helen's last little ash eruption, but I was a day late and a dollar short on that one. Still it was a nice drive, sunny in California and cloudy once I crossed the Oregon border, but easy going for the most part. Too bad so many people take to the roads in the summer when the weather is hot and the highways are crowded. It's much better to go in the early fall when the traffic is light and you can just cruise down the road and listen to the Mike and Dana show on the radio, or was that the Bob and Larry show, or the Wayne and Miki show, or the... I don't know. There are so many of these buddy-buddy shows on the radio these days it's getting impossible to tell them apart.

Speaking of the radio, I'm sorry to say that one thing hasn't changed over the years. I mean it was true thirty years ago and even truer now. When you're out of range of the big cities and/or markets the only people on the radio are preachers and cowboys. Well, that and an occasional golden oldies station. I hit one stretch of road where there was one country station and about five or six different preacher shows. Sheesh, I don't know what these people who live out in the middle of nowhere do for entertainment, but I guarantee you it's not listening to the radio. Come to think of it, maybe they live out there to get away from all that, and, you know, after listening to the Bob and Larry show (or whatever it's called) I'd have to say they're not missing much.

And that's all I have for tonight. Like to stay and chat a while but I've got to go see what's in the mini-bar.

"You're Going Where?

Yes, that's right. I'm going to Mt. St. Helens. Why does everyone keep thinking I've lost my mind? How many opportunities do you get in life to actually witness a mountain explode in a great volcanic eruption? I figure this chance may not come around again in my lifetime, so I'm leaving tomorrow for the great northwest to see if I can catch a glimpse of one of the great cataclysms of nature. I don't know what to expect but it would be really cool to see the thing erupt and have James Mason and Pat Boone come shooting out (and that extremely obscure movie reference is strictly for any film buffs out there).

I'm driving, so if the mountain can just hold on a couple of more days, I should be there in time. That is if I can ever get all this gear packed, which, believe me, is no easy task. Used to be when I went on a trip I'd pack some clothes, a camera, and a book of crossword puzzles and I'd be all set. But now it seems when I travel I need to be connected so I bring my computer. I also need my ebooks so I bring my pda. I also get tired of listening to the same old radio stations so I bring my cd's (believe it or not there used to be a time when all the radio stations around the country didn't sound alike). I might want to watch a movie so I have to copy a few DVD's to my hard drive. I also like to workout when I'm on the road so I usually bring my MP3 player with me, although this time I'm going to leave it at home. Of course I need my digital camera so I have to pack that along too. And finally, I need all the various cables and chargers and assorted doohickeys to make it all work. Geez, how did travel ever get so complicated?

Well, that's neither here nor there. It's the digital age and some of us can't survive the day without all of our equipment.

A Big Hand for the Little Lady

Speaking of CD's I picked up the new Hilary Hahn CD for my trip. Yeah, I know there are some people out there who aren't impressed, who don't think she's fiery enough for their tastes, and no doubt there are some very talented violinists recording these days who are much more popular, but I'll gladly trade some of the flamboyance and dramatics of the current stars for the confidence and straightforwardness of her approach. I guess it's her honesty that I like so much, or, for lack of a better term, a certain anti-overthetopedness that seems to come directly from her own truth about the music she performs, without the artifice or dramatics of some I've heard. Whatever you call it the recordings are compelling, especially the 2 Bach CD's she done, and all of her music has a place in my library.

The new CD is the Elgar Violin Concerto and Vaughn Williams' The Lark Ascending. I haven't heard the Elgar Concerto very much so I don't have a real opinion about it yet, but the Lark has been recorded many times by many different violinsts and is one of the most popular and beautiful pieces ever written for the instrument. Hahn's interpretation is, as you would expect, somewhat understated (which is as it should be) and posseses all the calm and beauty for which The Lark is known. I don't know if this is my favorite recording yet, but over time it could be.

And if you ever get a chance go to Hilaryhahn.com to read her journal. In addition to being a very talented musician she also happens to be a very good writer, and her postings make this poor blog seem pretty amateurish indeed.