Saturday, December 30, 2006

A Sonnet for the Coming Storm

viii.

Someone hurt her, I think. It doesn't show,
But it shows, especially when it rains,
And sitting by the light of the window
She feels the drops run down her windowpane.
That was her second marriage she told me
Though I didn't ask. That was all she said.
And she smiles as though she means it, mostly,
I smile back, with no words spoken. Instead
I could be an old sweater, to her,
Anyone warm and obliging would do.
Flattered, I suppose, it's me she'd prefer
Never certain if it really is true.
What a pathetic, meager need is this
That for its own sake its reasons persist.



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Thursday, December 28, 2006

A Sonnet of Remembrance

vii.

She came from Michigan, East Lansing.
Her father was a professor out there.
I was young and she was young and fancy-
free were we. She loved the wind in her hair,
Deep chestnut, and cut short all around,
Framing dark pools and delicate brown eyes,
Which like hot fires, ever gazing I found
So mysterious, sensous and wise.
'Twas like this, you see, when first came to me
The darkness which even now I'm stricken.
To her whom I'd never wish misery
Her sweet joy it did strangle and sicken.
And so from here to a big college town
she was gone, and in the darkness I drowned.
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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

A Sonnet a Day, ...

vi.

For not one waking moment did I see
The blowing wind gasp in desperation,
Nor the sun, bleak, long-shadowed and empty
Returning lifeless to its creation.
Parsimonious and dull was the light
On that day, which by its nature did slow
And reduce all joy to silver of night
Absorbing hope to the darkeness below.
How scant a scene, oh most souless of days!
Which but for a touch could scarce break a smile.
Which found in my heart dispirit, dismay
And no purpose but this mile after mile.
Then when living could no longer abide,
Stopped me here on the day that I died.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Another (Depressing) Sonnet for the New Year

v.

What beauty e'er could grow from such a weed
By such a mean and impoverished start
As would poison kindness, and with its seed
Draw vile succor from her peaceful heart.
What sprouts from this love, this meager garden?
Dandelion, crabgrass, brown slimy worm?
Sunbaked earth growing cracked as it hardens
Love barren, base as the lowest of germs.
I have tilled this ground and sowed in this field
And longingly gazed its infertile soil
And reaped from it such an unfruitful yield
As to grow lonely and spent of the toil.
Where she goes, now, is not mine to follow
My roots have grown deep and heart grown hollow.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

More Bad Poetry for the Holidays


The View From Eagle Rock


From the top of the trail where the rocks piled high
I looked down from the peak at the valley and sky
Where hanging by strings and sadly my way
Clouds endless as oceans came wave after wave

By what living bond am I bound to this scene
Of weather and freeways and patches of green
Withdrawn to my perch, with such baleful persistence
Fated to a world ever off in the distance


Saturday, December 23, 2006

A New Sonnet for the Holidays


iv.


And you will marry someday, I suppose,
To a good rich soil. From the warming sun
Of pure fortune will your new garden grow
Unburdened, and not by hard want undone.
And on Christmas morning children will squeal
And sparkle like glitter and blinking lights.
The world will complete you, as warmly you feel
Arms that caress you through blackness of night.
In the inevitable balance of
Mother and child, will you become newly
Emerged, and in this most perfect of love
Grow restless, forever to love's duty.
And you will marry someday, unspoken,
To the thousands of hearts you have broken.

A Sonnet for the Holidays

iii.

I have bought my peace, my spirit the coin
To which dead purpose and blank effort spent
Have achieved no other than but to rejoin
Ageless meander and my days misspent.
I remember you, yet am forgotten
As a passing car or faceless stranger,
And through passion born but misbegotten
I cannot forget nor face the danger,
Nor by forgetfulness lose the vision
Of the beauty once seen and lost to desire
And cautionsness. Earning cold derision
That extinguishes all that hope had inspired,
Bleed me now and take from me that I am.
What's passion but the measure of the man.


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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I Scare Myself

Some people may be wishing for a white Christmas, but I'm a California boy and I like my Christmas' bright and sunny. None of this gloomy weather for me, thanks. This is an El Nino year so the weather people were all predicting heavy rains and above average temperatures this winter, so, of course, it's December and we're freezing our butts off under clear skies. I'll take it, though. Just give me more of that California sun.

Other than that there's not much happening around here. Guess I'll just open up the ol' miscellaneous file.

The big news is that tomorrow night Tan Dun's opera "The First Emperor" makes its world premier at the Met, and we Sirius subscribers will be able to tune in to the live broadcast. That's pretty cool, and Placido Domingo will be singing the title role. I guess it just proves that tech isn't just for tech geeks anymore. The new digital world has something for everybody - tech geeks and opera geeks as well.

Speaking of opera, I just added "L'Amour de loin" by Kaija Saariaho to my DVD collection. Actually, to call it an opera is a little of a misnomer; it's more of a meditation. The score, however, is fantastic. I didn't really understand it the first time I watched it, but the second time through I became mesmerized by the primal, dreamlike mood of the piece. It might not be to everyone's taste, but Saariaho is really trying to do something different here and I admire her for that. I particularly like how she ladles great big gobs of sound on to the canvas to create a dense, rich, and yet almost monotone atmosphere. Interesting stuff.

Gerald Finley stars as the poet Jaufre Rudel, and his rich baritone is more than up to the task. I think he overdoes it a little as an actor, but his singing is superb. Dawn Upshaw plays Clemence, the soprano lead, and mezzo Monica Groop sings the role of the pilgrim. Again, both superb singers. The story itself concerns Rudel's love for a woman who lives far away ("L'amour de loin' or "Love from afar") and whom he can never have, but we won't go into that here. Great DVD for anyone in the mood for something downbeat and different, and I just ordered a CD from Amazon to hear some more of her music. The CD has Esa-Pekka Salonen, Gidon Kremer and Dawn Upshaw all performing some of her pieces. Pretty good bunch of players, and I hear she's working with Emanuel Ax on something new as well. Can't wait to hear it.

Let's see what else is happening. Oh yeah, there was a story on the news that said that doing mental exercises can help the elderly slow memory loss. The actual study was very limited in its focus so it's not exactly clear which exercises can be beneficial, but the general principle seems to make sense to me. You gotta keep those neurons firing if you want them to stay healthy, and that's why a little blogging every now and then should be an important part of your weekly routine. Even if you have nothing to say (ahem...) at least you're thinking.

And if blogging's not your thing, then why not write a sonnet.

(Note: I Scare Myself was a song from the early 70's by Dan Hicks and His Hot Licks, but when I googled it I found that Thomas Dolby is being listed as the author. That ain't right, and it just goes to show that you should never believe what you read on the internet)

Monday, December 18, 2006

Everybody Loves a Sonnet

ii.

How perfect the stain and by what strange means
False circumstance did I selfish conspire.
By all manner of ruse and happenings
As to defeat my most heartfelt desire.
Answer me thus and by action explain
What by words I'm unable to discern,
That for love my heart did mocking disdain
As to extinguish the flame that it burned.
We're a curious breed this rabble of men
That we are smitten yet still cannot see,
A time once come will not yet come again
And that all love comes but from constancy.
A stranger to love will know only this
That for a fool there awaits Tosca's kiss


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A Winter Sonnet



i.


That you are gone. And by what means am I
Diminished. A tongue by silence betrayed
And treason, by its own muteness did lie
That reason should not its heart obey.
Had I believed you perfect then perhaps
By earnestness of thought make excuses
But through false emotions let judgement lapse
To suffer indifferent abuses
Now a lingering sweetness of your air
Betrays in me unfathomable void
Black darkness consumes all hunger and care
And in consciousness is reason destroyed
Though dreams do not come and no light is shown
To dream of you is to dream all alone


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Saturday, December 16, 2006

Persistence is the Mark of a Bad Poet


Myself Unknown To Melanie


I spoke and only sorrow heard
Words, like fresh wounds, broken
Bled

Melanie
Tended, managed
Each entrance and exit guarded
Displayed
Like a rare gem or precious art
Priceless and entombed

Was there an unplanned moment
An unscheduled smile?
From Melanie
Felt
Untouched
Precious

To what dark face do you give your pledge
Tonight, Melanie
What breast is it warms your cheek
What confidences do you speak
Unknown, even dreams can wound
Scarred and broken hearts

The Universe in balance
Each planet its orbit
Each moment its purpose
Why then sorrow?


Friday, December 15, 2006

'Cause Somethings Can Only Be Expressed With Bad Poetry

Alum Rock Park December 2006

I am not the swirling cold
rushing frightened, scraping leaves

I am not the worried tree
naked, anxious and despairing of warmth

Neither abandoned playground nor
friendless swing

Nor lonely bench nor
dormant cabin am I

I am the being, sentient
Lord of Nature

Time is indifferent to me
My light recedes and all my days are strangers

When winter falls, it falls on me


Wednesday, December 06, 2006

As you've no doubt heard, James Kim, the CNET editor and podcaster, was found today in a wilderness area west of Grant's Pass Oregon. I know it's been all over the news and the blogosphere, and I'm sure we'll here more than a few of his fellow podcasters offering their thoughts over the coming days and weeks, so I won't go into the details here.

It's a funny thing about the whole "grassroots" nature of podcasting, but, as corny as it sounds, podcasters really do feel like part of a family. I didn't know James Kim at all other than through his podcasts and the work he did for the old TechTV network, and yet news of his passing really came as a blow today - almost like a personal loss rather than the mere passing of a stranger.

I've listened to his MP3insider podcasts since they first start airing earlier this year, and I always found him to be thoroughly professional and passionate about technology. Just a real solid, hardworking guy. It will be up to his friends and colleagues and the people who really knew him to talk his personal side, but I'm sure there will be many testomonials and rememberances in the days to come.

For me, though, it's the podcasts that I'll remember. Like I said, the thing about podcasting is that it is so personal. It's not like some big corporate machine feeding sound into your head all day. Podcasters, for the most part, are people like you and me. That's why it hits home so hard. I feel like James Kim wasn't just someone I knew about, but someone I really knew and will greatly miss.

I don't know. I really didn't want this post to be a downer. The tech community just got some really tough news today.

My condolensces to the Kim family. His loss will be felt not only by his family and friends, but by the entire tech community. I'm sure there are prayers being said around the world tonight, and my heart especially goes out to his wife Kati and two young children.


What's in the Letter Bag

Believe it or not, I do receive emails from time to time from some poor lost soul who happens to wander into this little blog of mine. Most of it is spam, a lot of spam actually, but I have good filters and only a few trickle through. Other than the spam I get some comments, usually short and sometimes funny, but rarely thoughtful and informative. However I got this one a couple of months ago that I've wanted to print for sometime now but haven't gotten around to it. It concerns a particularly funny post I made last March (yuk, yuk, yuk) disparaging the parenting skills of a couple of podcasters I'd heard. Oh, it was hilarious, and if you want to read it you can find it here. I wouldn't bother, though. Just read this email I got last October from one of the parents mentioned.

---------------------------------

Hi Tony,
I just stumbled upon your blog entry about the Rosary Army Podcast from last March 9 (http://tmyers2002.blogspot.com/2006/03/old-dogs-and-new-tricks-thank-you.html ) and thought I would provide a quick note of explanation about the play therapist we took our boys to.
You may have missed earlier episodes where we discussed the fact that 2 of our 4 boys have been clinically diagnosed with different levels of high functioning autism. Our oldest son (almost 9) has what is called Asperger's Syndrome. It is a form of autism where he becomes very focused in an almost obsessive way on certain subjects for long periods of time. For example, he has gone through periods (months-long and sometimes years-long) of absolute preoccupation over trains, birds of prey, and creating 3D sculptures out of paper and tape. Because of this intense focus, he often has severe problems relating to other children and sometimes feels unreasonably threatened when pushed out of his comfort zone. He overreacts to things that kids not on the autistic spectrum wouldn't even notice.
Our four year old exhibits even more classic autistic tendencies. To him, if his two-year-old brother simply removes one of his toys from the room, the 4-year-old perceives that as an actual physical attack. Did you ever see Rain Main where Tom Cruise tried to get Dustin Hoffman to board an airplane and Dustin Hoffman completely lost it? That's what happens with our four-year-old.
Initially, my wife and I tried to homeschool our children. Unfortunately, we were unaware of their autistic natures and after two years or complete frustration, we sought out evaluations from Emory University's Autism Center. They confirmed what we were beginning to suspect, and Emory University encouraged us to place the children in regular school so that they could be exposed to the more socialization skills, which are what kids with autism severely lack. As a part of the making sure that school would be successful for our oldest son, the school recommended the play therapy course to better help our sons work with others. Additionally, because two of our boys have autism, the other two without autism are often given less attention. By working with a therapist, we were able to find a better way for our family to work together.
I hope this provides additional insight as to why we went this route, and what benefit we hoped to receive from such therapy. We do not always go into great detail on our podcast, but when I discovered decisions made by my family being discussed on a stranger's blog, I felt it best to clarify.
Pax Christi,
Greg Willits - Rosary Army
www.RosaryArmy.com
Make Them. Pray Them. Give Them Away.
Podcast Feed - http://feeds.feedburner.com/rosaryarmy

---------------------------------

Thanks Greg. Somehow I don't feel so funny anymore.

(Maybe for the next Letter Bag I'll just post some spam. Hey, want to know how to get your college degree in just 4 weeks!)


Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Playing the Electric Violin on Desolation Row

Hilary Hahn came to town today. Well, not my town, exactly, but pretty close. She made an appearance down in the Haight in San Francisco, about the last place you'd expect to hear classical music - especially classical music of the caliber that she was putting out.

I realize that some of you out-of-towners probably still think of the Haight-Ashbury District as hippie heaven, no doubt recalling those halcyon days 40 years ago when the people were groovy and there was LSD and free love and flowers in her hair and flowers everywhere, and it's true that they did have a "summer of love" there once, but it was short-lived and a long time ago. Now I'd say the Haight is known more for it's street people and drug addicts than anything else.

Not being a drug addict myself, the Haight isn't a part of S.F. I get to very often, and tonight was quite an eye-opener for me. San Jose may have it's drunks and it's street toughs, but we don't have junkies and speed freaks hanging out on street corners and hustling up passers-by for spare change. I met quite a few of those tonight, and I know you find desperate people in most big cities, but not so much in San Jose (or maybe I'm just not hanging out in the right places.)

Anyways, I'm not one to judge. Well, no, that's not true. I judge all the time; I think everybody does. Maybe I should say I'm not one to pass judgement, and I certainly don't have all the answers to the world's problems

So there I was down in the Haight at a place called Amoeba Records, and right around 7 o'clock or so Hilary Hahn showed up to play a little recital. She played some Bach and some Paganini and some Spohr (which she not only played but sang as well!) and some Schubert (I think) and some Ysaye to finish things off. Wonderful stuff, folks, and if you were in the City last night and didn't make it out to Amoeba Records then you missed hearing one of the world's truly gifted musicians. That's not hyperbole either - just read the reviews.

What's most amazing of all, though, is just how young she is. It seems like she's been making CD's forever and yet when she got out on that little stage she seemed so, well...young. Frankly, it's a little disheartening to see someone so accomplished at such a young age. Makes me feel like "what have I been doing with my life all these years?", and at the same time hoping that she'll never grow into a geezer like most of the folks in her audience tonight. Yeah, I know we all get older, but may she stay forever young. (I seem to be quoting a lot of Dylan tonight.) All in all it's been kind of a bittersweet night for me.

Oh well, one last little sidenote. After the mini-recital HH was off to play a gig with the rock band And You Will Know Us By The Trail of The Dead, and tomorrow she'll be playing Korngold with the SF Symphony (no word yet if she'll be singing at that show, although the "Marietta's Lied" from Die Tote und Stadt is quite lovely). She's kickin' it in the Haight one minute, then rockin' out the next, and then wowing the crowds at Davies Symphony Hall the next.

I tell you, that girl's got this town wired.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Penuriousness Is Precious

How much are you going to spend on Christmas this year? Every year the news organizations send reporters out to ask us this same question, and whether we say more or less the net result is always the same. When the holidays are over the analysts tally the scores and announce that, once again, we spent more this year than the last. Dire predictions about dangerous amounts of debt and overextended consumers and bursting bubbles soon follow, and then, again, as always, we refinance our homes and raise our credit limits, and next year we're off to the races all over again.

And that's just the way it is. No, it's not like the old days when our mothers and fathers scrimped and saved and knew the value of a dollar. In fact, these days we don't save at all. According to the statistics, we now spend more than we earn and the savings rate has actually gone negative. To which I say "So what?". Of course our mothers and fathers scrimped and saved, but that's only because they didn't have all this cool stuff to buy. When they went shopping they went to Sears, for crying out loud. Believe me, if they had been alive today they'd be spending like a bunch of drunken sailors too.

Which brings me to my point. Namely, all these people who preach austerity and responsibility and living within your means don't know anything about real people or the way the real world works. The fact is that from the time an American child leaves the womb till the day he lies down in his grave, he is under constant study and scrutiny by marketing experts, media experts, retailing experts, doctors, psychologists and all manner of high-level advisory types whose sole aim is to analyze and poke and prod to find just what it is that will turn people into happy spenders. It's a pitched battle between an army of experts with million dollar budgets and one poor bastard with a credit card, and that poor, dumb bastard doesn't stand a chance.

That's why the news organizations cover the same story every year. It's like the war news, and everybody knows that the future of the country depends on the guys with the big guns coming out on top. As soon as Thanksgiving rolls around, editors across the country start to fidget.

"Why aren't they spending? What's wrong with them? Quick, Ed, send a crew down there and find out what's going on. What's that? What'd you say? Best Black Friday ever? God, it's great to be an American."

So with that in mind, let me just say don't be a cheapskate and have a festive holdiay season. I don't really have any great gift ideas for you. Clothes are always nice. Nothing makes a person feel interesting and new like a fashionable wardrobe, unless you're buying for a geek, that is. In that case forget the clothes and go for something like a portable GPS for the car. They're hideously expensive and not really useful unless you spend a lot of time driving in strange places, but they're very geeky.

In a somewhat related story, Louis Uchitelle of the New York Times wrote an interesting article about wealth in America. Everyone knows that over the last couple of decades the rich have been getting richer, but what does that mean? Well, apparently it means that nowadays there are the wealthy, and then there are the super-wealthy. According to Uchitelle, 1 in every 845 Americans now has an annual salary of $2 million or more per year (here in the Silicon Valley I believe that figure would be more like 1 in every 8.45. When people here buy "his and her "Lamborghini's that doesn't mean they're overspending - that just means they have to go upstairs and find their checkbooks).

So what does that mean for the other 844 who aren't earning $2 million per year? It means we've gotta get the limits raised on our credit cards, that's what. How else can keep up? Just because we aren't earning 7 figure incomes it doesn't mean we have to let other people know that, and as long as we spend like we have 7 figure incomes how is anyone going to find out?

That's my philosophy anyways. No, actually it's not. My philosophy is that if you're going to spend thousands of dollars on things you don't need, then you better be earning a 7 figure salary. In other words, if you can't downgrade your spending then you better upgrade your earnings. I think that's a more realistic approach than all this austerity and simple living being preached nowdays. What good is a National Don't Buy Anything Day, if you're only going to spend twice as much tomorrow?

Turning back to the article, you can see what this Dr. Glassman did. He was a medical doctor with a perfectly good practice, but he decided that he needed to upgrade his earnings if he was ever going to be super-wealthy, and that's just what he did. He said goodbye to curing cancer and easing suffering and healing the sick and comforting the afflicted and all that, and went to Wall Street. Now there are no sick people to bother him and the money comes in by the bucketful. I love the part in the article where he goes back to his 20th college reunion and sees these poor suckers he went to Med School with, who even he says they were 10 times smarter than him. There they are, still caring for the sick and doing good deeds, making a comfortable living while he's raking in the big bucks and getting filthy rich over at Merrill Lynch.

I say let that be a lesson to all you kids out there. Doing good works for your fellow man may be a noble pursuit, but it won't get you a fancy sports car or a mansion in the hills or a trophy wife, and if you want to spend money on things you don't need and you aren't a movie star or a musician or a professional athelete, then you better find your way to Wall Street.

And that's my Christmas message to you.



Thursday, November 23, 2006

The Hunter

The hunter crouches in his blind
'Neath camouflage of every kind
And conjures up a quacking noise
To lend allure to his decoys
This grown-up man, with pluck and luck
Is hoping to outwit a duck
-Ogden Nash

Exactly how do you get a squirrel out of the house? In this blog I've pondered over many of the great questions and thought heavily on many of the great issues of the day, but have never considered this particular problem before. That is, not until I found a squirrel in my house. Not in the attic, mind you, but in my kitchen.

I know a squirrel in the house would not be a problem for some folks. They just love the little critters. "Oooh, just wook at their puffy wittle cheeks and their bushy wittle tails." They go to the park to feed them, and long to hold them and pet them and catch all of their plaguelike diseases. "Ah, awen't they cute. We just wove the wittle squirrels, don't we? Yes we do. We just wove 'em to death."

Different story when they decide to set up household in your living room, though. Suddenly, those "cute wittle squirrels" start to look a lot more like big, fuzzy rodents with serious adjustment problems. Believe me, when you enter a room to find everything that used to be high on the shelves now littered across the floor, and little bits and pieces of that apple you stupidly left out the night before now trailed among the generous droppings of your uninvited guest, then they stop being cute real fast.

So how do you get rid of one once he has gotten in your house? We called up the Animal Control people and asked them. They told us to open a window and he'll leave eventually and good luck and don't call us anymore, ok? Well thank you very much, but I'm not sure opening a window will work. It might, assuming the squirrel is stupid, which they're not. Why would a squirrel leave a place that is warm and sheltered, with plenty of food and water, for the harsh winter weather outside? The answer is he wouldn't, so scratch that plan Mr. Animal Control person. Thank you for being so helpful.

Instead of opening a window, I fired up the computer and did some googling, and lo and behold I found the answer. In case you're wondering, here's how you get a squirrel out of the house ( just click here to go straight to the source).

The first step is to be patient. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day, so vini, vidi, vici and vox populi and all that. The bottom line is you're going to need patience. Remember, even though that squirrel is smarter than you, he's still pretty dumb. What I'm trying to say is don't expect the squirrel to fall into your clever little trap right away. Let him get hungry first, which takes time and also takes me to step two.

Isolate the S.O.B. Try as best you can to restrict the squirrel to one or two areas of the house. You can do this by closing doors or moving some furniture or whatever. Just make sure that you block him in good, and then deny him food and water. We did this by blocking off the kitchen and the upstairs area and isolating the squirrel in the family room and living room areas. We then removed every last bit of food and water, and even though squirrels are notorious for caching their food, we knew that sooner or later he was going to start getting hungry. That all led to step three.

Buy a squirrel trap. Now wait a minute, wait a minute. Before you start getting yourself up in arms and calling your local PETA representative, the squirrel trap I got is from Havahart, and it is totally humane and non-lethal. It consists of a cage with a trap door on one end and a trigger plate at the other. You bait the cage near the trigger, the animal enters the cage, steps on the trigger plate, and the trap door closes trapping the animal inside. No blood is spilled and no injury of any kind is done to the animal.

So we baited the trap and set it up near one of his favorite activity zones (as shown by the presence of numerous pellets). Then we waited. One day, two days, three days, and on and on and on, until the other evening when I walked into the house and noticed that the trap had been sprung and...

No squirrel inside. The little b*%$!#d had taken the bait and set off the trap, but still managed to make his escape. Ok, apparently this squirrel has an IQ. The kind that spends his leisure time watching PBS and reading The Atlantic Monthly. He must be getting hungry, though, so I baited the trap again and waited. Then, this afternoon, we got us a squirrel. All my patience and planning paid off.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.... Who's the genius now, Mr. Squirrel? Yeah, that's right. I may look dumb but I can still outsmart your average bushy-tailed rodent.

Now I've got him sitting in a cage outside. After all the trouble he's given me I always thought that when I finally got a hold of him I'd ring his little neck, but when I saw him sitting in the cage looking so helpless and pathetic, I had a change of heart. The exterminator people say the best thing to do with a problem squirrel is to put him down, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I mean he's so cute.

So, tomorrow I'm going up into the hills and find a nice spot to open the cage and set him free. The exterminator people said this isn't a good idea because squirrels are very territorial and if I set him free he's probably going to starve anyways because no other squirrel will have him for a neighbor. I guess that's probably true, but what else am I going to do? I'm not going to release him back into the yard and take a chance that he'll find his way back into the house. At least up in the hills he'll have a fighting chance. Live free or die, right?

Geez, now I feel so guilty.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Things Ain't What They Used To Be

Greeting from L.A., where the air is warm and the sun is shining. You may be wondering what I'm doing down here, but I doubt it. Let's just say that after suffering with the flu for the last couple of weeks, I was ready for a change of scenery, albeit a brief one.

So here I am at the Hilton (where they've got some nice, fast Wifi, by the way) and glad to be out of my sickroom. When I got here I realized that this particular hotel is very close to the very hospital where I was born, or at least to where the hospital used to be before they closed it down. Kind of strange for me to have travelled so far just to get back to where I started. I have no intention of telling you where that is, by the way, so sorry all of you identity thieves out there; you are just going to have to find some other rube to appropriate personal information from (try Myspace.com).

But yeah, I was born just a few miles from here, and I was thinking that I'm probably the only person left alive that was there in the delivery room that day. I'm not positive but I'm willing to bet that the doctors and nurses have all passed on, and I know my mother and father are gone, so that just leaves me. There's a morbid thought for you. Kind of makes me feel like a little speck of dust or something.

Anyways, you don't want to hear about that. You're reading this blog because you want the hard news, the plain truth, the straight poop, the real...aw, forget it. To tell the truth I've been sick and haven't really been following the news much. I hear the Dems won an election and the President is over in Asia winning hearts and minds, but other than that I seem to be a little behind.

No wait, there was some big tech news last week. Something about a $600 video game machine and people waiting in line for days and getting into fistfights and shooting each other and rioting and stuff like that. Geez, and then the news that a lot of these people weren't even buying the thing for themselves but were putting them up for sale on Ebay and getting 2 or 3 times what they paid for it. Man, does anyone remember when video games were just toys? Well, not anymore. They're big business, and I feel pretty stupid for not standing in line and getting one of those machines myself. What a racket. Spend $600 and then turn right around and flip it for a $2,000 or $3,000 profit. Beats the hell out of stocks and bonds, that's for sure.

In a somewhat related story, here's an interesting article by Dan Walters of the Sacramento Bee. It's about the midterm elections and the demographics of who did and didn't vote in California. What Dan found, basically, was that the California elections were decided by a bunch of old white guys. 75% of the ballots, it turns out, were cast by non-Latino whites over 45 years of age. I say the story is somewhat related because you might be asking why it is that so few young people bothered to go to the polls and cast ballots, and the answer is obvious:

They were all camped out in front of Best Buy waiting to get their PS3's. War? Jobs? Government corruption? What are they compared with high-res graphics and a built-in hard drive.

The other big tech announcement from Sony that might have escaped your attention was their new PRS-500, which was finally released for sale earlier this month. This is that new portable ebook reader that I've blogged about in the past. They had them for sale at the local Fry's so I went down there a couple of weeks ago to have a look. Sorry it's taken so long to get the details out, but like I said, I was sick.

The PRS-500 is about the same height and width as a Gideon's Bible, though much thinner. I'd guesstimate it's around 1/2" thick, maybe a little less, and it weighs in at a svelte 9 ounces. At that size it's too big to fit in your pocket, but will fit nicely in a backpack or purse (and if I ever decide to start carrying a purse I'll be sure to buy one). Okay, a big purse, maybe. It might be a little tight trying to get it into a clutch, but it should slip quite nicely into a nice big leathery handbag. It runs on a rechargable battery, and Sony claims each charge is good for approx. 7500 page turns.

The display uses a technology called electronic ink, which works off of a principal very similar to the good ol' Etch-A-Sketch. The page is drawn on the screen and then remains there until you turn the page, at which time the screen is erased and a new screen is drawn. This differs from the LCD technology used in most portable displays which needs a constant of draw electricity to keep it's screen refreshed. The bottom line is a very crisp looking screen and excellent battery life.

In addition to displaying ebooks, the PRS-500 can also display text files, Microsoft Word documents, PDF files, and most common graphics file formats. It can also play MP3's, although I assume that would be to the detriment of long battery life.

In comparing it to other ebook readers such as the Microsoft Reader or Mobipocket, however, the PRS-500 has two notable deficiencies. The first is the lack of a built-in dictionary. For an experienced ebook user that is a deal killer right there. If there is an unfamiliar word in the text we want to highlight it and get an instant definition, and there is simply no way to do that with the PRS-500. The screen, though incredibly sharp and clear, is passive with no way to interact with the text.

The second deficiency is related to the first, and that is the PRS-500's lack of a highlighting and note-taking capabilities. Again, if you can't interact with the text then there is no way to highlight or add notes. That's not a feature I ever use, but I know there are people (e.g. students and academics) who do.

Actually, I should have said that there are three deficiencies, with the third being the price. At $349, this device is simply too expensive. If Sony were able to sell this thing for under $200 then it might stand a chance, but $350 is a lot to spend for book reader. I know because I wanted to buy one, but not unless the price comes down.

On the plus side, the Sony ebooks are quite affordable. I compared prices at Sony's online book store with prices at ebooks.com and mobipocket.com and The Connect Store's prices all seem to be cheaper than the competition's. I also found quite a few titles available at The Connect Store which were not available elsewhere, so Sony does seem to have a bit of an edge in terms of price and selection. However, that doesn't mean the selection is good, it's just better.

So there you have it. That's my little tech review. If you don't want to trade in your car on a new PS3 then you might want to consider a PRS-500 instead.

I guess.

Anyway, that's all I have for tonight. I was thinking of heading over the the Huntingdon Library tomorrow morning for a little cultural enrichment. That's where the original Blue Boy is, you know. Yeah, I know. You thought the original was hanging in your Aunt Martha's parlor, didn't you? Sorry, but I'm betting that one is just a copy. Anyways, my Aunt Sunny took me to see the Blue Boy when I was a little kid, and for some reason I just have a hankering to go see it again. Don't know why, but since I'm in the area I thought I might as well go. In case you didn't know, The Huntingdon Library was founded by Henry Huntingdon, nephew of railroad magnate and Southern Pacific Railroad founder Collis P. Huntingdon, who once famously said "Anything's that's not nailed down is mine. And anything I can pry loose is not nailed down."

And then they threw his sled in the fire and that was the end of that.


Monday, November 13, 2006

Poor Jud is Dyin'

You probably don't care how sick I've been. In fact, I know you don't care. You don't care about the pain or the drama or the angel of death hovering over my bed. I realize that. Sickness is something each of us goes through alone, and no one wants to hear about our suffering or share in our misery. It's just a cruel and heartless world we live in, full of hideous, uncaring people.

On the other hand, if I were in your place and you were about to unburden yourself on me for the next half hour with your tales of sickness and woe then I'm sure I'd feel the same, though unlike you I'd at least try to stifle my yawns and feign a little interest. Be that as it may, I promise I won't bore you with a blog about how I've been on my back for the last four days, my body wracked with pain and myself only inches away from death's doorstep. Nope, you're too busy with your own problems to think about me so I'll just skip on to the next subject.

Which is...?

Oh, that's right. I haven't got a subject. It's the fever, you know. Haven't been able to think straight. I've got an idea, why don't you watch some TV while I think of something. I'll be right back.

"Hello, and welcome to the show. Joining me today is Ted Turner. Mr Turner, thank you for being with us."

"It's my pleasure. And call me Ted."

"Ok, Ted. So tell us about these new Ted's Montana Grill restaurants of yours. I hear they're doing quite well."

"Yes, they are. I'm very excited about being in the restaurant business."

"Why?"

"Excuse me."

"Why are you excited about being in the restaurant business?"

"Well, everybody's got to eat."

"How true. (pause) You know Ted, I bumped Warren Buffett just so I could get you on the show today, so do you think you could be a little more responsive to the questions?"

"No, I think I'd rather be affably vague if it's all the same to you."

"Well Ted, that may work for you but I think our viewers might start reaching for their remotes if you keep giving these short, non-descript answers."

"That may be true."

"I mean I could have just put a couple of politicians on the show if all I wanted was a bunch of empty, platudinous gobbledegook."

"I understand."

"You're not a politician are you Ted?"

"No I'm not."

"Ok, how about this? Let's do a little word association game. Would you like to try that? I'll say something and you say the first word that comes into your head. Ok?"

"Uh, sure, ok."

"Ok, let's start. If I were to say 'Kim Jong Il', what would you reply?"

"Uh...puppy?"

"Puppy? I say 'Kim Jong Il' and you say puppy? Why would you say something idiotic like that? He's the leader of North Korea Ted. What has that got to do with puppies?"

"Well, it was the first thing that came into my mind. You told me to say the first thing that came into my mind."

"You're right, I did. How about if we try this again. You want to try it again? C'mon, play along this time."

"Fine."

"How about if I say 'Iraq'? What's the first thing that comes into your mind."

"Uh..dental floss."

"Dental floss? Why on earth would Iraq remind you of dental floss?"

"I got something stuck in my teeth."

"Hezbollah."

"Popsicle."

"Republican."

"Waterfall."

"Terrorism."

"Skateboard."

"Time Warner?"

"Dirty, rotten, scum-sucking bastards."

"Washington?"

"Lilacs."

"Al-Qai...Hold on. Let's back up to that previous answer. I think I might have found a chink in your professional dealing-with-the-media armor."

"That's impossible."

"No, no...let's try this again. Ready?"

"Sure."

"Time Warner."

"Blood sucking curs."

"There. You see. You said 'blood sucking curs'."

"I did? That can't be. The vague, non-commital Ted wouldn't have said that. That must have been..."

"The evil Ted?"

"I'm tired of this game. Let's try something else."

"No, let's do one more. Ok?"

"Well..."

"Richard Parsons."

"Parasite."

"Steve..."

"Two-faced, backstabbing, son of a..."

"...Case."

"Greedy, arrogant, punk."

"Whoa, now that was fun. I knew I could break you."

"What did I say?"

"I want to thank my guest Ted Turner for being on the show. Ted, it was great having you on."

"What just happened here?"

"Please be sure to tune in next week when we'll play the word association game with outgoing Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and find out what's on his mind."

(And now back to our blog already in progress)

...and then I felt better on Monday, except for a throbbing headache. So I took a couple of Tylenol and came home and ate some dinner and I feel alright now.

But you don't want to hear about that so I should blog about something else.

La blog, la blog, toujours la blog.

Oh yeah, there's a new James Bond movie coming out Friday, like anyone cares. It's always strange for me to watch a James Bond movie because the parallels between his life and mine are so eerily alike. You know, the beautiful women, the constant danger, the exotic locales, the mystery and intrigue-I swear it's like seeing my own story being played out there on the screen.

Well, kinda...

Actually, Ian Fleming was going to model the original 007 character after me (that's a little known fact), but decided to make him a British superspy instead. Can't say I blame him. I mean who wants to see a movie about a bookish, misanthropic introvert with delusions of being an undiscovered Faulkner? British superspy just makes for better box office.

I'm not bitter, though. I've still got my blog, and as every blogger knows you can be anyone you want on the internet.

"Mr. Bond there's a semi-naked fashion model with a gun waiting for you in your bedroom. Her hair is perfect and I think she wants to kill you. Be careful."

"The world is full of semi-naked fashion models trying to kill me. Fix me a vodka martini, shaken, not stirred, while I go seduce her and get her to reveal vital information."

"Yes Mr. Bond. You know you are very brave for a bookish, misanthropic introvert with delusions of being an undiscovered Faulkner."

"Yes, I know. Isn't blogging fun?"

Monday, November 06, 2006

Sirius 85

Denzel Washington has written a book called "A Hand Guide To Me." Geez, and people think bloggers are self-obsessed.

But I'm not going to obsess about myself tonight. Instead, I'm going to talk about something new. Well, new to me anyways. Last week I got an invitation from the Metropolitan Opera to try their new radio channel on my computer, free of charge, for 3 days. "Free" always works for me so I gave it a try, fell in love, and the next day I was shopping for a new Sirius receiver to put in my car.

Here's what I found:

The Installation

If you want to listen to Sirius then the first thing you need is a Sirius radio. You can shop for them online, and if you're handy with tools and don't mind tearing your car apart then you can order it and install it yourself. That didn't seem like the option for me so I went down to my local big-box electronics megastore and asked a few questions.

I found out that there are 4 ways to get Sirius in your car. The first is to buy a head unit (that's fancy car audio guy talk for the part with the radio and all the knobs) that has Sirius built-in. Unfortunately, they don't make any head units that will fit my car so that option wouldn't work. The second way to hook up to Sirius is through a direct, line-in connection to your car stereo. No dice on that one either, so option number 3 was to connect an FM modulator to the Sirius radio and broadcast the signal to your car stereo. I've tried FM modulators in the past and they work ok, given pristine conditions and a lack of interference from other radio stations in the area. If push came to shove I could always try that, but luckily there was one more option.

Sirius calls it a FM Direct Connector, and it's simply a little switch that goes between your the car's radio and its antenna. You plug the antenna into the box, you plug your car radio into the box, and you plug your Sirius radio into the box and now, instead of broadcasting the FM signal, your Sirius radio sends the signal to the little box, where it is routed directly to your car radio. While the Sirius Radio is sending it's signal it also cuts off the outside antenna. This eliminates the hiss and noise you typically get with all the FM modulators.

So, twenty bucks for the FM Direct Connector and I was all set. I signed the papers and told them to install away.

The Radio

Sirius offers several radios. I went with the Sportster 4 unit, which happened to be the most expensive, but it wasn't that much more then the next most expensive units. Anyways, it's a pretty fancy-dancy little unit with 30 station presets, a nice big LED display (important for us older folks), a remote control, pause, rewind and fast-forward controls, and thousands and thousands of confusing little features that I haven't figured out yet.

By the way the installation that the car audio guys did was beautiful - much better than anything I could do myself. They put the radio inside the CD/storage compartment in the cars dash, and left the little door on it so that I could close up the compartment and keep the unit out of sight and hidden from prying eyes. They left no hanging wires and cables and no odd looking things sticking out anywhere, and just did a really nice job with it.

But back to the radio. When you fire up your Sirius radio for the first time the only station you get is the weather channel. You then have to either call Sirius or visit them online to set up your account. The basic subscription is $12.95 month, but they offer quarterly, semi-annual, annual, and 2 year plans that bring that price down. Once you've signed up and payed your money then they activate your radio, and that's it. You're now all set to go.

Like many new hi-tech gadgets the Sportster 4 was pretty confusing at first. However, once you learn to navigate your way around it's really a simple unit to operate, with a lot of extra features that you'll only occaisionally use.

Just like any other radio it comes with presets. There are 30 on the Sportster 4 with one special preset they call the "Jump" button. The idea behind the "Jump" button is that you preset it to a station, and then whenever you want to go to that station you press the "Jump" button, and when you want to return to what you were listening to before you press the "Jump" button again. One press "Jumps" you to the station, and another press "Jumps" you back.

So what's it good for? Well, Sirius offers traffic and weather information for about 15 metropolitan areas around the country. The idea behind the "Jump" button is that you set it to your local traffic station, and then when you just want a quick traffic update you "Jump" to it, and then you quickly "Jump" back when you're through. I set mine up and it works great.

The other major controls on the radio are the pause, rewind, and fast-forward buttons. The Sportster 4 has enough memory in the unit for about 44 minutes of audio, so that makes it possible to pause and rewind live radio. This is also very cool. When one of your favorite songs comes on, you just hit the rewind button and you can listen to it all over again. Hit it twice and you'll go back 2 songs, 3 times and...well, you get the point. The pause function is a little strange because I'm not sure what you would use it for. It would be great if you could pause the radio while you went into the store or something like that, but unless you're in the habit of leaving your keys in the car and the radio running while you do your shopping, then that's not really of much use. I suppose it would be handy if you take a lot of phone calls in your car, but I don't have much use for the pause.

There are also lots of nifty features in the Sportster 4 which are just too numerous to explain. Let me briefly mention the abilty to save favorites, like musical groups or songs or sports teams. If you tell the radio to remember, say, the San Diego Chargers, then the radio will automatically alert you whenever the San Diego Chargers are playing a game and give you the option to switch to that station. The same with a musical group. If that group is being played somewhere on the satellite then the radio will alert you and let you switch to that station. Also pretty cool.

The Service

You get music, talk, news, sports, Howard Stern, Martha Stewart, and all kinds of stuff. Just go to Sirius.com and look at the channel listings to see what's available. So far I've been listening to some of the Comedy Stations and the Old Time Radio station (isn't it ironic that I'm using all this 21st Century technology just so I can listen to the Burn and Allen Show), but my favorite channel and the whole reason I got this thing in the first place is Sirius 85, Metropolitan Opera Radio.

I can't stop listening to it. Finally, FINALLY I've found a radio station that plays the stuff I want to hear. Of course the station is built around the 75 year archive of Metropolitan Opera broadcasts that the Met has accumulated over the years. Each day they broadcast around 5 complete operas, some live but most from the archives. In between performances they broadcast miscellaneous choral works and vocal music featuring some of the great Met Opera singers both past and present. If you love Opera, then you want this station.

When I first got my radio activated I tuned in Met Radio and started thinking that maybe I should just live in my car from now on. In fact, I had to go to the store for milk and ended up taking about a 20 mile detour just so I could listen to Act II of Madama Butterfly. I don't think that's good for the environment.

Since then I've calmed down a little, but it's still so awesome to be able to listen to Bellini on the morning commute and Verdi on the trip home. I'm telling you, if you love Opera then you want this station.

You're Sirius subscription also includes the access to Sirius' online streaming, so you can listen to Met Radio over your computer when your at home. That works ok, but I think you can get burned out listening to the same station 24/7. Then again, it's available if you want it.

Lots more I could say but I've already gone on too long. If the Met gets the word out on this channel and opera lovers start hearing about it, then Sirius is going to sell a lot of radios. The problem is getting the word out, and also getting over that initial hurdle of finding a radio and getting it installed in your car. All I can say is that it's not a big hurdle and I'm glad I took the plunge. Subscription, you say. Pay money? Yep, and worth every penny.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Dead Cat Does His Civic Duty

Well it's Halloween night and only 7 days till election day, and I don't know what's more frightening - the thought of all those ghosts and goblins or the thought of who might be running the country for the next couple of years.

Aiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Here in California it's gonna be a pretty quiet election. We don't really have many Congressional or Senatorial seats in play, so we're just gonna watch what happens in the rest of the country. That seems to happen a lot out here lately. Last election everything was so tied up in advance that the presidential candidates didn't even hardly make the effort to come out here. Kind of makes you feel left out.

Anyways, all the pundits and pollsters are looking for Democrats to win big this year. Of course, these are the same pundits and pollsters who looked at the exit polls and predicted a John Kerry win back in 2004 (remember that?), so I don't know if the Dems really have anything to feel cocky about. But so far things are looking pretty good for the Democrats, so unless some Democratic big shot does something stupid like insult our troops they shouldn't have any problems.

Oops, wait a minute...

Oh those Democrats. A week to go before the election and some big liberal from back east goes and sticks his foot in it by saying that the soldiers serving in Iraq are there because they were too dumb to get into college. Wouldn't you know it. All they had to do was keep their big mouths shut and stick with the anti-Bush stuff and they were in, but nooooooooo...

On the other hand, I'm sure the Republicans will cut the Democrats some slack on this. I'm sure they won't try to capitalize on this opportunity to switch the focus of the election from the Iraq War to John Kerry and his put-down of American soldiers who are currently fighting and dying for their country. I'm sure the Republicans will be happy to let the whole thing blow over and not try to cut into the pre-election momentum of the Democrats. After all, these are politicians; these are honorable men and women. They wouldn't resort to anything so underhanded.

Would they?

Luckily for the Dems, though, there are only 7 days left till the election so if they can spin this thing right they should be able to minimize the damage. From what I've heard so far it looks like they're going with the "Well if Bush hadn't gotten us into this war then Kerry never would have made such an asinine remark in the first place" argument. Might work, I suppose. Maybe it'll even motivate their base which, I guess, seems to think we've got a bunch of illeterate goons over there fighting this war. I wouldn't count on it , though, and I wouldn't be suprised to see those poll numbers tighten up a little over the next 7 days.

We'll see.

Meanwhile, back here in California the only real issues left to decide are the usual thousand and one ballot propositions we have to deal with every election. This years voter pamphlet (for those who care) clocks in at a svelte 191 pages, and so far I've managed to make my way through to about page 41.

The really big issue this time around seems to be Proposition 87 - the "Alternative Energy, Research, Production, Incentives, Tax on California Oil Producers Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute". So far we've had the oil companies flooding with airwaves with anti-87 ads, and a couple of big Democratic guns named Gore and Clinton answering back with ads of their own. Obviously, it's a big deal, and pretty damn confusing when you get right down to it.

If passed, the Constitutional Amendment will tax the state's oil producers and create a $4 billion fund to be used for research and development of alternative energy sources. How all this will be achieved is a little vague, however, and seems to go right to the fundamental difference between the Democratic and Republican views of government. Let me explain.

The way I see it, to a Democrat the $4 billion is like fertilizer, and once spread around there will be sunshine and rainbows and grass and flowers and the whole state will become green with new growth. It'll be like one big money hug. On the other hand, a Republican worries that putting a $4 billion pile of money in front of a bunch of politicians is like putting a pile of raw meat in the sewer. Instead of getting sunshine and flowers all we'll be getting are a bunch of rats and mice and other vermin who will pick up the scent and devour it.

I'm kind of undecided, myself, and wish that the Proposition was a little better on the specifics. Alternative energy doesn't really say much and seems to encompass a lot of things, and I don't want us to find ourselves 2 years down the road reading a story in the paper about some whacko in Chula Vista who got $50 million for some hare-brained scheme to turn rust into kerosine.

I've seen it happen before.

Anyways, I've still got another 7 days to ruminate on it and also get through the other 150 pages of my voter pamphlet, so looks like I'll be busy. Sheesh, I've got some cramming to do.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Every NFL Pregame Show Ever Made

"Good afternoon everyone, and welcome to the NFL Pregame Show. I'm your host Dan Mann here in the studio and joining me, as always, are my co-hosts Rick Razor and Beef Murphy. Good afternoon, gentlemen. Ok, let's get started."

"Ok Dan. Boy do we have some great matchups today."

"Well, let's start off with the matchup that everyone's been talking about. The battle of the two undefeated's - the Mungoville Monarchs and the Kalawaza Kings."

"Dan, here we have a classic meeting between two undefeated teams who are both coming off impressive wins last week and have a lot of momentum going into today's game."

"Let's talk about that Beef. What's your take on today's game."

"Well, I think the story of this game is going to be one of offense versus defense. The Monarch's currently with the league's most explosive offense, and the Kings with the league's stingiest defense."

"Yes but..."

"If you look at last weeks game where the Monarch's scored 750 points against a very good team in the Friendlyville Flies, you have to think that nobody's going to be able to stop them this season. And yet, the Kings have so far held their opponents to just 2 points on the season. Those are impressive numbers."

"You were going to add something Rick?"

"Yes, I was just going to add that while I think the offenses and the defenses will be key in the game today, I think the special teams will have a role to play too."

"What about that King's defense Rick? You've been studying the film."

"What can you say, Dan. The numbers speak for themselves. George Goone has done a wonderful job with that defense this year. Only 2 points allowed through 7 games with 27 of their opponents either killed or injured - this is certainly one tough defense."

"Yet the Monarch's lead the league in offense, Beef. What do you make of that?"

"They do it with players, Dan."

"You mean they have the best players."

"Yes."

"So will the King's be able to stop them?"

"I don't think so. If the King's are going to win today they'll have to put some points on the board."

"I agree with Beef, Dan. The King's have to score points if they want to stay with the Monarchs today. If they can get in the endzone and hold the Kings to under 500 points, then they might have a chance."

"Then I take it you're both picking the Monarchs to win this one."

"If the Kings can get some pressure on the passer and control the line of scrimmage, then they could pull this off. But I just don't see that happening."

"I'd have to agree with Rick on that, though I think if their defense can manage to put a few of the Monarchs in the hospital, that would certainly take some of the pressure off of their offense. Otherwise, I think it could be a long day."

"Ok, when we come back we'll speak with King's coach Monte Jones and ask him his thoughts on today's game. And later we'll have a serious journalistic piece that's sure to stir some controversy. But first, these messages."

(beer commercial, razor blade commercial, car commercial)

"Welcome back. Monte Jones took over the coaching duties for the Kalawaza King's last season, and after getting off to a slow start has managed to put together a winning program based largely on defense and good players. Last week our Terence Tout sat down to have a few words with the coach."

"Monte Jones, welcome. Two seasons ago the King's had a dismal 1 and 15 record. Since you took over, however, their record has improved to 15 and 7 over the past season and a half. How do you account for the amazing turnaround you've seen in this team?"

"Well, a lot of it had to do with getting rid of lousy players and replacing them with ones who could play."

"Then you credit the players for making the difference?"

"Well, hell yeah. Who else am I going to credit? The cheerleaders?"

"What about your quarterback? Is there a quarterback controversy in Kalawaza?"

"No. Peters is my guy and it's his job to lead this team."

"What about today's game? What's your game plan against the Monarchs and do you mind if we broadcast it on national TV?"

"Our game plan is to control the line of scrimmage and make big plays. If we can do that then we have a chance to win this game."

"Are the players ready?"

"No, but rather than postpone the game I figure we'll just go ahead and play it anyways."

"Thank you Coach. Dan, back to you."

"Thanks Terence. Well guys, what do you think?"

"I think the coach is right, Dan. You can't postpone the game, so you're best off just playing it as scheduled."

"Well we'll see if that strategy pays off. Now we're going to break away from this shallow jock talk for while and do our serious journalistic segment. Jeffrey Payne, what controversial topic do you have for us today?"

"Dan, as you know Monarch's linebacker Thug Thomas was arrested last week on charges of murder, rape, sodomy, drug trafficking, weapons smuggling, and plotting to assisinate the President. Last week I talked to some of the people involved to get some idea on what happened and what it means for Thug's future. Here's what I found."

Wastewater, Illinois. When Thug Thomas first tried out for the Wastewater High Varsity Football Team the coaches knew they had something special. Coach Greg Johnson -

"Thug was something special."

So how did this 3 sport golden boy with such a bright future end up before a Mungoville Judge last week charged with murder, rape, sodomy, drug trafficking, weapons smuggling, and plotting to assisinate the President? We sat down with Thug and asked him that question

"I don't know. I just got in the car. I didn't know they were going to do that stuff."

"They", as we now know, were the Syrian Terrorist Group Al Aquilyou.

"They were just guys, you know, hanging out. They seemed alright to me. I didn't know they were terrorists or anything like that."

Unfortunately for Thug, the FBI had been investigating the terrorist group for months, and last week they raided the groups headquarters where they found guns, drugs, photographs and plans to assisinate the President. Thug surrendered to the authorities the following day and was arraigned last week. If convicted, he could be facing 300 years in prison.

"A very hard-hitting piece, Jeffrey, but tell me something. Where's the NFL in all this? Have they made any special statements on the matter?"

"No, nothing official Dan, but my sources tell me that they are very concerned not only for Thug but for his family as well. As you know these are very serious charges and we can't rule out fines and even a possible suspension if they prove to be true."

"Jeffrey Payne, thank you. We'll be sure to follow this story as the season goes along. Right now, though, let's go out to Diet Pepsi stadium and our announcers for todays game, Mouth Jensen and Bruiser Bejowczki. Gentlemen, what's the situation out there?"

"The fans have been waiting all week for this game, Dan, and there's a lot of excitement in the stadium today. We talked to the coaches and the players in the locker room and they seem to be excited too. As you can see the weather is perfect and it should be a great game today."

"Any last minute changes we should know about?"

"No."

"Ok. Well we're just minutes away from kickoff so we'll be getting back to you soon."

"Ok Dan."

"That was Mouth Jensen and Bruiser Bejowczki out at Diet Pepsi Stadium getting ready to bring you all the play-by-play action. And we'll be back to wrap things up right after this."

(beer commercial, razor blade commercial, car commerical, NFL Public Service Announcement about NFL players working with teachers and parents to combat toe fungus in school locker rooms)

"Dan Mann back here in the studio with Rick Razor and Beef Murphy, and a reminder to stay tuned for the NFL Halftime Report and the NFL Postgame Report where we'll bring all the scores and highlights of today's games. Until then, enjoy the game everybody. Now let's go out to Diet Pepsi Stadium for the Mungoville Monarchs and the Kalawaza Kings."

Every NFL Pregame Show Ever Made

"Good afternoon everyone, and welcome to the NFL Pregame Show. I'm your host Dan Mann here in the studio and joining me, as always, are my co-hosts Rick Razor and Beef Murphy. Good afternoon, gentlemen. Ok, let's get started."

"Ok Dan. Boy do we have some great matchups today."

"Well, let's start off with the matchup that everyone's been talking about. The battle of the two undefeated's - the Mungoville Monarchs and the Kalawaza Kings."

"Dan, here we have a classic meeting between two undefeated teams who are both coming off impressive wins last week and have a lot of momentum going into today's game."

"Let's talk about that Beef. What's your take on today's game."

"Well, I think the story of this game is going to be one of offense versus defense. The Monarch's currently with the league's most explosive offense, and the Kings with the league's stingiest defense."

"Yes but..."

"If you look at last weeks game where the Monarch's scored 750 points against a very good team in the Friendlyville Flies, you have to think that nobody's going to be able to stop them this season. And yet, the Kings have so far held their opponents to just 2 points on the season. Those are impressive numbers."

"You were going to add something Rick?"

"Yes, I was just going to add that while I think the offenses and the defenses will be key in the game today, I think the special teams will have a role to play too."

"What about that King's defense Rick? You've been studying the film."

"What can you say, Dan. The numbers speak for themselves. George Goone has done a wonderful job with that defense this year. Only 2 points allowed through 7 games with 27 of their opponents either killed or injured - this is certainly one tough defense."

"Yet the Monarch's lead the league in offense, Beef. What do you make of that?"

"They do it with players, Dan."

"You mean they have the best players."

"Yes."

"So will the King's be able to stop them?"

"I don't think so. If the King's are going to win today they'll have to put some points on the board."

"I agree with Beef, Dan. The King's have to score points if they want to stay with the Monarchs today. If they can get in the endzone and hold the Kings to under 500 points, then they might have a chance."

"Then I take it you're both picking the Monarchs to win this one."

"If the Kings can get some pressure on the passer and control the line of scrimmage, then they could pull this off. But I just don't see that happening."

"I'd have to agree with Rick on that, though I think if their defense can manage to put a few of the Monarchs in the hospital, that would certainly take some of the pressure off of their offense. Otherwise, I think it could be a long day."

"Ok, when we come back we'll speak with King's coach Monte Jones and ask him his thoughts on today's game. And later we'll have a serious journalistic piece that's sure to stir some controversy. But first, these messages."

(beer commercial, razor blade commercial, car commercial)

"Welcome back. Monte Jones took over the coaching duties for the Kalawaza King's last season, and after getting off to a slow start has managed to put together a winning program based largely on defense and good players. Last week our Terence Tout sat down to have a few words with the coach."

"Monte Jones, welcome. Two seasons ago the King's had a dismal 1 and 15 record. Since you took over, however, their record has improved to 15 and 7 over the past season and a half. How do you account for the amazing turnaround you've seen in this team?"

"Well, a lot of it had to do with getting rid of lousy players and replacing them with ones who could play."

"Then you credit the players for making the difference?"

"Well, hell yeah. Who else am I going to credit? The cheerleaders?"

"What about your quarterback? Is there a quarterback controversy in Kalawaza?"

"No. Peters is my guy and it's his job to lead this team."

"What about today's game? What's your game plan against the Monarchs and do you mind if we broadcast it on national TV?"

"Our game plan is to control the line of scrimmage and make big plays. If we can do that then we have a chance to win this game."

"Are the players ready?"

"No, but rather than postpone the game I figure we'll just go ahead and play it anyways."

"Thank you Coach. Dan, back to you."

"Thanks Terence. Well guys, what do you think?"

"I think the coach is right, Dan. You can't postpone the game, so you're best off just playing it as scheduled."

"Well we'll see if that strategy pays off. Now we're going to break away from this shallow jock talk for while and do our serious journalistic segment. Jeffrey Payne, what controversial topic do you have for us today?"

"Dan, as you know Monarch's linebacker Thug Thomas was arrested last week on charges of murder, rape, sodomy, drug trafficking, weapons smuggling, and plotting to assisinate the President. Last week I talked to some of the people involved to get some idea on what happened and what it means for Thug's future. Here's what I found."

Wastewater, Illinois. When Thug Thomas first tried out for the Wastewater High Varsity Football Team the coaches knew they had something special. Coach Greg Johnson -


"Thug was something special."


So how did this 3 sport golden boy with such a bright future end up before a Mungoville Judge last week charged with murder, rape, sodomy, drug trafficking, weapons smuggling, and plotting to assisinate the President? We sat down with Thug and asked him that question


"I don't know. I just got in the car. I didn't know they were going to do that stuff."


"They", as we now know, were the Syrian Terrorist Group Al Aquilyou.


"They were just guys, you know, hanging out. They seemed alright to me. I didn't know they were terrorists or anything like that."


Unfortunately for Thug, the FBI had been investigating the terrorist group for months, and last week they raided the groups headquarters where they found guns, drugs, photographs and plans to assisinate the President. Thug surrendered to the authorities the following day and was arraigned last week. If convicted, he could be facing 300 years in prison.


"A very hard-hitting piece, Jeffrey, but tell me something. Where's the NFL in all this? Have they made any special statements on the matter?"

"No, nothing official Dan, but my sources tell me that they are very concerned not only for Thug but for his family as well. As you know these are very serious charges and we can't rule out fines and even a possible suspension if they prove to be true."

"Jeffrey Payne, thank you. We'll be sure to follow this story as the season goes along. Right now, though, let's go out to Diet Pepsi stadium and our announcers for todays game, Mouth Jensen and Bruiser Bejowczki. Gentlemen, what's the situation out there?"

"The fans have been waiting all week for this game, Dan, and there's a lot of excitement in the stadium today. We talked to the coaches and the players in the locker room and they seem to be excited too. As you can see the weather is perfect and it should be a great game today."

"Any last minute changes we should know about?"

"No."

"Ok. Well we're just minutes away from kickoff so we'll be getting back to you soon."

"Ok Dan."

"That was Mouth Jensen and Bruiser Bejowczki out at Diet Pepsi Stadium getting ready to bring you all the play-by-play action. And we'll be back to wrap things up right after this."

(beer commercial, razor blade commercial, car commerical, NFL Public Service Announcement about NFL players working with teachers and parents to combat toe fungus in school locker rooms)

"Dan Mann back here in the studio with Rick Razor and Beef Murphy, and a reminder to stay tuned for the NFL Halftime Report and the NFL Postgame Report where we'll bring all the scores and highlights of today's games. Until then, enjoy the game everybody. Now let's go out to Diet Pepsi Stadium for the Mungoville Monarchs and the Kalawaza Kings."

Every NFL Pregame Show Ever Made

"Good afternoon everyone, and welcome to the NFL Pregame Show. I'm your host Dan Mann here in the studio and joining me, as always, are my co-hosts Rick Razor and Beef Murphy. Good afternoon, gentlemen. Ok, let's get started."

"Ok Dan. Boy do we have some great matchups today."

"Well, let's start off with the matchup that everyone's been talking about. The battle of the two undefeated's - the Mungoville Monarchs and the Kalawaza Kings."

"Dan, here we have a classic meeting between two undefeated teams who are both coming off impressive wins last week and have a lot of momentum going into today's game."

"Let's talk about that Beef. What's your take on today's game."

"Well, I think the story of this game is going to be one of offense versus defense. The Monarch's currently with the league's most explosive offense, and the Kings with the league's stingiest defense."

"Yes but..."

"If you look at last weeks game where the Monarch's scored 750 points against a very good team in the Friendlyville Flies, you have to think that nobody's going to be able to stop them this season. And yet, the Kings have so far held their opponents to just 2 points on the season. Those are impressive numbers."

"You were going to add something Rick?"

"Yes, I was just going to add that while I think the offenses and the defenses will be key in the game today, I think the special teams will have a role to play too."

"What about that King's defense Rick? You've been studying the film."

"What can you say, Dan. The numbers speak for themselves. George Goone has done a wonderful job with that defense this year. Only 2 points allowed through 7 games with 27 of their opponents either killed or injured - this is certainly one tough defense."

"Yet the Monarch's lead the league in offense, Beef. What do you make of that?"

"They do it with players, Dan."

"You mean they have the best players."

"Yes."

"So will the King's be able to stop them?"

"I don't think so. If the King's are going to win today they'll have to put some points on the board."

"I agree with Beef, Dan. The King's have to score points if they want to stay with the Monarchs today. If they can get in the endzone and hold the Kings to under 500 points, then they might have a chance."

"Then I take it you're both picking the Monarchs to win this one."

"If the Kings can get some pressure on the passer and control the line of scrimmage, then they could pull this off. But I just don't see that happening."

"I'd have to agree with Rick on that, though I think if their defense can manage to put a few of the Monarchs in the hospital, that would certainly take some of the pressure off of their offense. Otherwise, I think it could be a long day."

"Ok, when we come back we'll speak with King's coach Monte Jones and ask him his thoughts on today's game. And later we'll have a serious journalistic piece that's sure to stir some controversy. But first, these messages."

(beer commercial, razor blade commercial, car commercial)

"Welcome back. Monte Jones took over the coaching duties for the Kalawaza King's last season, and after getting off to a slow start has managed to put together a winning program based largely on defense and good players. Last week our Terence Tout sat down to have a few words with the coach."

"Monte Jones, welcome. Two seasons ago the King's had a dismal 1 and 15 record. Since you took over, however, their record has improved to 15 and 7 over the past season and a half. How do you account for the amazing turnaround you've seen in this team?"

"Well, a lot of it had to do with getting rid of lousy players and replacing them with ones who could play."

"Then you credit the players for making the difference?"

"Well, hell yeah. Who else am I going to credit? The cheerleaders?"

"What about your quarterback? Is there a quarterback controversy in Kalawaza?"

"No. Peters is my guy and it's his job to lead this team."

"What about today's game? What's your game plan against the Monarchs and do you mind if we broadcast it on national TV?"

"Our game plan is to control the line of scrimmage and make big plays. If we can do that then we have a chance to win this game."

"Are the players ready?"

"No, but rather than postpone the game I figure we'll just go ahead and play it anyways."

"Thank you Coach. Dan, back to you."

"Thanks Terence. Well guys, what do you think?"

"I think the coach is right, Dan. You can't postpone the game, so you're best off just playing it as scheduled."

"Well we'll see if that strategy pays off. Now we're going to break away from this shallow jock talk for while and do our serious journalistic segment. Jeffrey Payne, what controversial topic do you have for us today?"

"Dan, as you know Monarch's linebacker Thug Thomas was arrested last week on charges of murder, rape, sodomy, drug trafficking, weapons smuggling, and plotting to assisinate the President. Last week I talked to some of the people involved to get some idea on what happened and what it means for Thug's future. Here's what I found."

Wastewater, Illinois. When Thug Thomas first tried out for the Wastewater High Varsity Football Team the coaches knew they had something special. Coach Greg Johnson -



"Thug was something special."



So how did this 3 sport golden boy with such a bright future end up before a Mungoville Judge last week charged with murder, rape, sodomy, drug trafficking, weapons smuggling, and plotting to assisinate the President? We sat down with Thug and asked him that question



"I don't know. I just got in the car. I didn't know they were going to do that stuff."



"They", as we now know, were the Syrian Terrorist Group Al Aquilyou.



"They were just guys, you know, hanging out. They seemed alright to me. I didn't know they were terrorists or anything like that."



Unfortunately for Thug, the FBI had been investigating the terrorist group for months, and last week they raided the groups headquarters where they found guns, drugs, photographs and plans to assisinate the President. Thug surrendered to the authorities the following day and was arraigned last week. If convicted, he could be facing 300 years in prison.


"A very hard-hitting piece, Jeffrey, but tell me something. Where's the NFL in all this? Have they made any special statements on the matter?"

"No, nothing official Dan, but my sources tell me that they are very concerned not only for Thug but for his family as well. As you know these are very serious charges and we can't rule out fines and even a possible suspension if they prove to be true."

"Jeffrey Payne, thank you. We'll be sure to follow this story as the season goes along. Right now, though, let's go out to Diet Pepsi stadium and our announcers for todays game, Mouth Jensen and Bruiser Bejowczki. Gentlemen, what's the situation out there?"

"The fans have been waiting all week for this game, Dan, and there's a lot of excitement in the stadium today. We talked to the coaches and the players in the locker room and they seem to be excited too. As you can see the weather is perfect and it should be a great game today."

"Any last minute changes we should know about?"

"No."

"Ok. Well we're just minutes away from kickoff so we'll be getting back to you soon."

"Ok Dan."

"That was Mouth Jensen and Bruiser Bejowczki out at Diet Pepsi Stadium getting ready to bring you all the play-by-play action. And we'll be back to wrap things up right after this."

(beer commercial, razor blade commercial, car commerical, NFL Public Service Announcement about NFL players working with teachers and parents to combat toe fungus in school locker rooms)

"Dan Mann back here in the studio with Rick Razor and Beef Murphy, and a reminder to stay tuned for the NFL Halftime Report and the NFL Postgame Report where we'll bring all the scores and highlights of today's games. Until then, enjoy the game everybody. Now let's go out to Diet Pepsi Stadium for the Mungoville Monarchs and the Kalawaza Kings."

Thursday, October 26, 2006

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

With little fanfare, it seems, Tower Records is closing its doors and liquidating its assets. You'd think there be more hue and cry from us old timers, the generation that grew up hanging out at Tower, but the whole affair has produced barely a whimper. Clearly, in this internet driven age when the music buyer can find just about any CD ever produced at Amazon.com or Ebay or at any of a number of downloadable music stores, the idea of buying your CD's at the local retail outlet seems badly outdated.

Not that anyone likes to see other people lose their jobs, but the writing has been on the wall for Tower Records for quite some time now. Anyways, turnabout is fair play and maybe Tower is just getting their due after driving so many small and independent record stores out of business, at least here in the Bay Area. Maybe when we mourn for Tower we should also shed a little tear for Leopold's, and Underground Records, and Banana Records, and the Record Factory as well. All the great record stores are gone now.

But that's all water under the dam. The good news, however, is that Tower is having a liquidation sale. Yep, 25% off everything in the store, which for a music junkie like me means it's time to dust off the credit card and do a little bin surfing. I went down there a couple of days ago and the pickings were pretty slim, but I did manage to pick up one notable CD that I want to tell you about. Yeah, you know what's coming. Just what you've always wanted. Another Dead Cat CD Review!

Leila Josefowicz is a problem for me. On the one hand I read rave reviews of her work, and yet whenever I listen to her she just sounds so average, which can only mean either I'm not listening right or the rest of the world is out of it's frickin' mind. The critics call her Prokofiev brilliant and then I hear it and just can't for the life of me figure out what all the fuss is about. I figure it must have something to do with my lack of musical knowledge or understanding because there's obviously something going on here that's way over my head. Still, I know what I like and I know when I like something enough to want to buy it, and the fact is I don't own any of her CD's. Not unless I can get it at 25% off, that is.

The CD I bought came out last year and was her premier effort for the Warner Classics label. It's called "Leila Josefowicz: Beethoven Ravel Salonen Grey Messiaen". I always like to read the booklet when I buy a new CD, so that was the first thing I did. That's usually a good to idea, especially if some of the pieces are unfamiliar, but not always. For example...

The booklet began with a short little paragraph by Leila which explained absolutely nothing. Hey, that's ok, maybe she's not a word person. The real problem came after that with the piece written by her accompanist John Novacek, who writes prose so thick that it should be sold to the DoD to armor plate their Humvees. If his goal was to make the reader stupid then I guess he succeeded, but if he was trying to provide a little background on the musical selections, then all I can say is "look John, I'm a blogger, not a music professor, ok?" Here's how he explains the Beethoven Violin Sonata No. 10:

"...it's characteristic techniques (ecstatic employment of the trill, rhapsodic digressions, continuity of the multimovement design, fugato), Opus 96 is the first incontrovertible indication of Beethoven's late style."

Oh really? I couldn't have explained it better myself, and frightening as it might seem, I actually understand a little of what you're talking about. Here's John Novacek on the Ravel Violin Sonata in G major:

"...a gentle flute-like melody that falls and rises upon the Lydian mode on G. But for Ravel the antique is not a call to introspection, it is the necessary exotic component of a stylized tonal object."

Exactly what I was thinking, although I would characterize it more as a "stylized tonal doohickey" rather than "object." Anyways, I hate finding this kind of stuff in my CD booklet. If you're writing a college text or academic paper then fine, use the language that suits your audience. But don't put it in a CD booklet, John. C'mon, it's like have a chemistry professor write ad copy for a can of soda. Sure, there are important things we all should know about Potassium Benzoate and Phenylketonurics, but you know most people are just interested in how it tastes,

I'll just mention that there are a couple of other pieces in the booklet as well. One is by Mark Grey which I'll discuss later, and the other is by Esa-Pekka Salonen, current music director of the L.A. Phil. Salonen's piece is actually much better and clearer than Novacek's, and it's too bad he didn't write the entire booklet. Here's Salonen writing about the "Lachen verlernt":

"Lachen verlent is essentially a chaconne, which in this case means that there is a harmonic progression that repeats itself several times."

Now you see John, that wasn't so hard. Salonen introduces a concept, and then explains what it is. Maybe there's something we all can learn from that.

But on to the music itself.

There are 2 CD's in this release. The first contains Olivier Messiaen's Theme and Variations, Ravel's Violin Sonata in G major, and Mark Grey's San Andreas Suite for solo violin. Two glorious successes and a dud, as it turns out. The Messiaen Theme and Variations leads things off and is a very simple piece, actually. It starts out very restless and haunted, and then over the course of a very short 10 minutes or so it resolves itself into something remarkably radiant and peaceful. What I never heard in Josefowicz's playing before I finally heard here, and that is an intensely personal style and close connection to the listener. There is something very soft in her approach, not dynamically soft, not pianissimo(?), but something soft and intimate in the way she expresses herself that works beautifully with this piece. The danger of being that open and intimate with the listener, of course, is that you run the risk of sounding cloying or mawkish, but there's none of that here. It's a very pure sound.

Josefowicz continues next with the Ravel Violin Concerto in G major, a somewhat more familiar piece, and again establishes that same sense of closeness and intimacy. Like the Messiaen, this is also another french piece, and although I never thought about it before, a close, personal touch really brings out a lot of the flowers and colors of french music. Josefowicz has a real feel for that, and I don't think I've ever heard this piece played better. In fact, this is the first time I've heard it played and really loved it. I hope there's more 20th century french music in her recording pipeline.

On the other hand, she might do us all a big, fat favor and never record Mark Grey again. I guess this Mark Grey guy is a friend of hers and he composed his San Andreas Suite especially for her, so there was probably no way she could NOT record it, but man is it boring. It's really nothing more than a 12 minute finger exercise, and a long 12 minutes at that. According to the booklet, Grey composed it on his guitar with the four middle strings tuned the same as the violin. You know what, Mark, it sounds like a piece composed on a guitar with the middle four strings tuned the same as a violin. I don't know. Maybe it's fun to play, but I hated it. Next CD please.

On CD number 2 Josefowicz gives us the Salonen Lachen verlernt for solo violin, the Beethoven Violin Sonata No. 10 in G major, and the Brahms Scherzo in C minor. I don't know how to describe the Lachen verlernt except to describe my reaction to it, so please pardon me if I get a little weird here. Just go with me on this.

When we hear a piece of music being played we are always aware of the sounds being produced, but rarely stop to think about the silence that surrounds those sounds. Miles Davis, the great jazz trumpeter, loved silence and knew how to use silence, but he was an exception to the rule. To me it's always seemed that musicians treat silence as an interval, the period between stopping and and starting, and though aware of its presence, they don't use it the way that Miles did. They aren't as fascinated by those "spaces between notes" the way he was. Silence is almost like the enemy, a big void to be filled, and musicians carefully test and re-test their sound so as not to be swallowed up in the vacancy and vastness of the spaces they occupy.

So what am I getting at. Well, when I listen to Josefowicz play the Lachen verlernt, for some reason I can't help hearing the silence. From the very first time I heard her play it I just got this image in my head of a musician in a silent studio trying to fill that room with sound, and of a constant back and forth struggle between the two forces. The ominous stillness of the room, and the violin desperately trying to breath some life into it. I'm sure if Salonen heard me talk about it like this he'd say I was off my rocker, but that's how the piece sounds to me. And it's fascinating. Lots of virtuoso stuff, of course, but that struggle is what keeps me fascinated. I think it's my favorite piece on the entire CD.

After the Lachen verlent comes the Beethoven Violin Concerto No. 10, and there couldn't be a starker contrast. You leave this silent little room or studio and are instantly transported into Beethoven's world. No silence there, but a few problems instead. As much as I like the 20th century pieces (except for that turd of piece that Mark Grey "composed"), her Beethoven brought me right back to where I was before. Namely, I don't get it.

The first movement is a bad omen in itself because it doesn't seem like Josefowicz and her accompanist John Novacek are working off the same notes. I don't know, I'm no Beethoven scholar, certainly not of John Novacek's calibur, but is the first movement supposed to sound so out of sync? Novacek pounding out the notes while Josefowicz floats in the background? It doesn't sound right to me. Fortunately, they seem to get it back together for the final three movements but I still don't get it. Where Josefowicz sounded so intimate and personal before, she sounds merely average here. That's the same problem I've always had with her. Why is it that something that sounds so average is, in fact, something extraordinary? I'm totally lost here, but I'll keep listening.

The Brahms Scherzo in C minor finishes the CD set and it's perfectly fine. Sort of a lighthearted, joyous little thing that finishes things off quite nicely. Nothing really to say about it, and this post is long enough as it is.

So there you have it. Did anyone actually read all that?