I Know, Let's Talk About the Weather
The Woods are Lovely, Dark and Deep
But I Have Promises to Keep
You can tell a New Englander wrote that because a Californian wouldn't have a clue what he was talking about. Not when it's late November and the thermometer is still hovering well above 70 degrees. Good thing too because I was starting to worry about the high energy bills everyone's been warning us about. But, not to worry. Looks like I'll be paying those bills and still managing to have a dollar or two left over for food and shelter after all.
You gotta love California.
And you know I think it's time for all of us Californians to maybe take a minute here and give a little thanks to our local weatherperson. After all, when the weather is lousy we always give them the blame, don't we? So when it's particularly nice it only seems fitting to to give them the credit too. Maybe a national "Weatherperson Appreciation Day" would be in order. Wouldn't that be nice. Just walk up to your local weatherperson and say "hey, thanks buddy for all you've done." And maybe a little tip would be in order as well. Nothing much, minc you - just a double sawbuck or something like that to show your appreciation. That way our consciences would be clean for when the weather turns lousy and we all start raggin' on 'em again.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
Anyways, needless to say, it's been a long summer here in California this year, and I'm sure more than a few Californians have been thinking about packing a cooler and putting on some suncreen and having Christmas at the beach this year. Geez, why not? Let those people back east get all bundled up and sit around the fire singing Christmas carols. We'll just fire up the barbecue, set out some beach chairs, pop open some cold ones and check out the babes. Yeah, that's how we do Christmas in California.
Actually, that's not really true. I'm just making that up. We usually spend our Chrismas' indoors just like everybody else, but this year may be different. I guess it's must be that global warming thing that's causing all the strange weather. Whatever it is, I'm all for it. Keep pumping out that CO2 people cause I'm liking this weather, and, after all, don't you think Ozone is highly overrated anyways? I mean, who needs it. Isn't that why God gave us sunglasses and SPF50?
Think about it.
Well, it should be pretty clear by now that I've got absolutely nothing to blog about tonight. I think it must be all this sunshine that's got me feeling so sanguine and unconcerned because... I mean it's hard to stare ruefully into the middle distance when the birds are singing and the warm rays of the California sun are washing over your face. How can you be contemplative and bleak on a day like this? It's impossible, I tell you. Yeah, we Californians may be shallow, but at least we're warm.
The palms are lovely, green and tall
But I have blog posts yet to scrawl
And nothing on my mind at all
Nothing on my mind at all.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Things We (Saw) Today, And Other Musical Notes
So how was your day? Mine was pretty eventful. I went down to the park this afternoon for my usual lunchtime walk and who do you think I should see leaving the park ahead of me? How about this for a clue.
She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah
She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah
She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep. Believe it or not there was this skinny old man in a sweatshirt and shorts walking out of the park with two security type people beside him, and there were these people in the parking lot waving and yelling out "We love you". He was waving back and I got a look at his face and thought "Hmmm, you know that guy looks familiar. He kind of looks like...
Paul McCartney!"
Then I thought "Nah, that can't be Paul McCartney. What would Paul McCartney be doing down here at the park. It must be someone else". So I went for my little lunchtime three miler, but all the time I was walking I kept thinking how much that guy looked like Sir Paul. Not the round cheeked little mop top from the movies mind you, but a more wrinkled and grandfatherly version. Still, dang it, it did kind of look like him.
So I got back to the office and I checked the newspaper and guess who is in town giving a concert tonight at San Jose Arena. Huh, need I say more. Then, as if that weren't proof enough, someone told me that there's a quiet, out of the way hotel near the park where a lot of celebrities stay there when they're in town and want to keep things sort of low-key. I don't know about you but that's all facts I need. I saw Paul McCartney today, and that's all there is to it!
And now as the day has wore on into the night it's begun to sink in to me just how famous that guy is. Jesus Christ, there aren't many people more famous than an ex-Beatle are there? And wouldn't you know it, dag nabbit, I didn't bring a camera. Damn. They say you should always bring a camera with you wherever you go in case something happens, and now I know why. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.
Well that's the way it goes, I suppose, and to tell the truth Paul McCartney isn't nearly as big a celebrity to me now as he was, say, forty years ago. I mean it's probably been 30 years since he's written a song I liked, and some of his other projects have been pretty lame, if you ask me. Sure he's famous and I'm as big a sucker for celebrities as the next guy, but he's mostly famous for stuff he did a long time ago, and I think if I could pick the top 10 celebrities I'd like to run into at the park he probably wouldn't be one of them. But then again, I saw Paul McCartney!
Oh well, turning now to more current musical superstars I guess I should talk a little about the latest Hilary Hahn CD. Actually it's not her CD. She only has co-billing on this one along with pianist Natalie Zhu, and it features four Mozart Sonatas for Piano and Violin. Now I know millions turn to this blog for the best Classical CD reviews on the net so I won't beat around the bush. This CD is...
No, wait. Before I talk about the Mozart CD maybe I should talk a little bit about Sibelius instead. That would be Jean Sibelius (1865-1957), of course, and some other CD's I've been listening to lately. First let me explain that I have a bias towards the music of the late 1800's and early 1900's, particulary that type of music know as "Late Romantic" music, and particularly the music of Mahler and Sibelius. I should also explain that I know as much about music as I do about french cooking, which is not much, but I do know the music I like and, likewise, I also know when the soup is cold.
So, where were we?
Oh yeah, Sibelius. I love the music of Sibelius. He and Mahler were contemporaries, you know, but they were also just about as opposite as two composers could be. It's said that Mahler liked the big themes - life, death, resurrection, you know the whole grand cosmological scheme of things, while Sibelius was more pastoral, more natural, and more in tune with the inner world. That's what some people say, anyways, and for the most part I would agree. If you could generalize about the two then you could say that Mahler's music is much more expansive than the introspective and earthbound Sibelius.
Of the two, I prefer Mahler to Sibelius, but then again I prefer either one of them to most other composers I've heard. Anyways, Sibelius wrote this famous violin concerto back around 1904-1905, and it has since gone on to be one of the most recorded concerto's ever written for that instrument. That's according to me, and I can't think of a major violin virtuoso who hasn't recorded it at least once (except for a certain H.H., but we'll get to that later).
Probably the most famous recording is one done by Jascha Heifetz back in the 1960's (?) that many consider to be the definitive version of this particular piece. Hmmmm, well thanks to the miracle of the internet and 21st century technology you can now hear that famous recording and decide for yourself just how definitive it is. Personally, out of the hundreds (thousands? millions?) of Sibelius Violin Concerto recordings that are out there I've heard just four of them, and of the four the Heifetz has got to be the weakest. Instead of the raw emotional power that characterize the best interpretations (in my opinion), Heifetz dances and flits through the piece as though on a merry little jaunt through the countryside.
Somewhat better than the Heifetz is the Anne-Sophie Mutter interepretation dating from around the mid 1990's or so. Listen to Heifetz and then listen to Mutter and you'll wonder if you're listening to same piece. Where Heifetz flits and dances Mutter dramatizes and emotes, almost to the point of emotional cruelty. There are many who say Mutter's is the definitive reading, but it's too much of a soap opera for my tastes.
The only other two renditions of the concerto I've heard are both gems. The first is from Itzhak Perlman and the second from Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg, a violinist who usually comes on a little too strong for my liking, but who gives what I think is the definitive reading among the four. The Perlman is a fantastic, virtuoso perfomance with an overpowering Russian feel to the music, much in the tradition of Tchaikovsky, a composer whom Sibelius was often compared to early in his career. However, as exhilirating as it is, it simply doesn't have the sort of raw power of the Salerno-Sonnenberg version. Maybe the musical purists will disagree, but raw power is what the Sibelius needs and Salerno-Sonnenberg provides it willingly and with gusto. Even in the Adagio she manages to soften the tone without losing any of that emotional strength that seems to power the engine of this piece. It's a remarkable CD that definitely belongs in any musical collection, classical or otherwise.
Which brings me back to Hilary Hahn and Natalie Zhu. The new CD is called Mozart Violin Sonatas, it's on the Deutsche Grammophone label (which means no rootkits, I hope), and would it really suprise anyone if I told you that the playing and the players are absolutely flawless. Probably not because, let's face it, anyone at all familiar with H.H.'s past achievements wouldn't doubt for a minute that she would utterly master these four Mozart Sonatas. They are absolutely suited to the brlliance of her style, and the dialog between N.Z. and H.H. is clever and witty in the best Mozart fashion, and everything on this CD from the picture on the front all the way to the barcode on the back is done with impeccable taste and style. And frankly, after a dozen or so listens I think I'm a little Mozart'd out.
I mean, it's not like there aren't any other Mozart CD's out there or any classical music stations playing Mozart day after day, morning, noon and night. In fact, I think at any given time Beethoven and Mozart probably account for 50% of all classical music currently playing on classical music stations across the nation. At least it seems that way, and that's why I love this CD but I wish that H.H. had done something a little different. I know, I know, everyone loves Mozart and certainly no record label is going to scream and holler if you decide to do a Mozart CD, but, geez, I'm just not in the mood.
Which brings me to the main point of this posting. That is I read somewhere that H.H. gave a performance or is going to give a performance somewhere and she played or is going to play a piece I didn't know was in her repertoire. I wish I could remember where I read it but the article said she was going to play...
The Sibelius Violin Concerto.
Hilary Hahn playing the Sibelius? Are you kidding me? Now don't get me wrong. I love H.H.'s playing and I've got every one of her CD's, but a raw, emotional piece like the Sibelius? Somehow, even as gifted as she is, the words "raw" and "emotional" aren't qualities I'd usually associate with her style. She is a strong player, however, and with much better instincts and control than others I've heard, so maybe she could pull off the Sibelius. Redefine it, if you will. Now that would be interesting. That would be something I'd like to hear. She could probably play the Mozart in her sleep but the Sibelius...hmmm.
Of course she has done some similar things in the past. Let me think. She won a well deserved grammy for the Brahms, and of course she recorded the Mendelssohn, although with not nearly the success of others she has recorded. And she did the Beethoven, but the Brahms and the Beethoven are very different from the Sibelius. The Sibelius is a little more out there. I tell you, if she ever decides to record it there will definitely be some interested fans who would be very anxious to hear what she does with it. And since she is the only major violinist I can think of who hasn't recorded it then, well, there you go. I guess that settles it.
Oops, wait a minute, I almost forgot. She's got some sort of Paganini project in the works. Heh, she'll ace that one. She's definitely got the chops to handle Paganini. And in the meantime (sigh), there's always Mozart.
So how was your day? Mine was pretty eventful. I went down to the park this afternoon for my usual lunchtime walk and who do you think I should see leaving the park ahead of me? How about this for a clue.
She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah
She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah
She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep. Believe it or not there was this skinny old man in a sweatshirt and shorts walking out of the park with two security type people beside him, and there were these people in the parking lot waving and yelling out "We love you". He was waving back and I got a look at his face and thought "Hmmm, you know that guy looks familiar. He kind of looks like...
Paul McCartney!"
Then I thought "Nah, that can't be Paul McCartney. What would Paul McCartney be doing down here at the park. It must be someone else". So I went for my little lunchtime three miler, but all the time I was walking I kept thinking how much that guy looked like Sir Paul. Not the round cheeked little mop top from the movies mind you, but a more wrinkled and grandfatherly version. Still, dang it, it did kind of look like him.
So I got back to the office and I checked the newspaper and guess who is in town giving a concert tonight at San Jose Arena. Huh, need I say more. Then, as if that weren't proof enough, someone told me that there's a quiet, out of the way hotel near the park where a lot of celebrities stay there when they're in town and want to keep things sort of low-key. I don't know about you but that's all facts I need. I saw Paul McCartney today, and that's all there is to it!
And now as the day has wore on into the night it's begun to sink in to me just how famous that guy is. Jesus Christ, there aren't many people more famous than an ex-Beatle are there? And wouldn't you know it, dag nabbit, I didn't bring a camera. Damn. They say you should always bring a camera with you wherever you go in case something happens, and now I know why. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.
Well that's the way it goes, I suppose, and to tell the truth Paul McCartney isn't nearly as big a celebrity to me now as he was, say, forty years ago. I mean it's probably been 30 years since he's written a song I liked, and some of his other projects have been pretty lame, if you ask me. Sure he's famous and I'm as big a sucker for celebrities as the next guy, but he's mostly famous for stuff he did a long time ago, and I think if I could pick the top 10 celebrities I'd like to run into at the park he probably wouldn't be one of them. But then again, I saw Paul McCartney!
Oh well, turning now to more current musical superstars I guess I should talk a little about the latest Hilary Hahn CD. Actually it's not her CD. She only has co-billing on this one along with pianist Natalie Zhu, and it features four Mozart Sonatas for Piano and Violin. Now I know millions turn to this blog for the best Classical CD reviews on the net so I won't beat around the bush. This CD is...
No, wait. Before I talk about the Mozart CD maybe I should talk a little bit about Sibelius instead. That would be Jean Sibelius (1865-1957), of course, and some other CD's I've been listening to lately. First let me explain that I have a bias towards the music of the late 1800's and early 1900's, particulary that type of music know as "Late Romantic" music, and particularly the music of Mahler and Sibelius. I should also explain that I know as much about music as I do about french cooking, which is not much, but I do know the music I like and, likewise, I also know when the soup is cold.
So, where were we?
Oh yeah, Sibelius. I love the music of Sibelius. He and Mahler were contemporaries, you know, but they were also just about as opposite as two composers could be. It's said that Mahler liked the big themes - life, death, resurrection, you know the whole grand cosmological scheme of things, while Sibelius was more pastoral, more natural, and more in tune with the inner world. That's what some people say, anyways, and for the most part I would agree. If you could generalize about the two then you could say that Mahler's music is much more expansive than the introspective and earthbound Sibelius.
Of the two, I prefer Mahler to Sibelius, but then again I prefer either one of them to most other composers I've heard. Anyways, Sibelius wrote this famous violin concerto back around 1904-1905, and it has since gone on to be one of the most recorded concerto's ever written for that instrument. That's according to me, and I can't think of a major violin virtuoso who hasn't recorded it at least once (except for a certain H.H., but we'll get to that later).
Probably the most famous recording is one done by Jascha Heifetz back in the 1960's (?) that many consider to be the definitive version of this particular piece. Hmmmm, well thanks to the miracle of the internet and 21st century technology you can now hear that famous recording and decide for yourself just how definitive it is. Personally, out of the hundreds (thousands? millions?) of Sibelius Violin Concerto recordings that are out there I've heard just four of them, and of the four the Heifetz has got to be the weakest. Instead of the raw emotional power that characterize the best interpretations (in my opinion), Heifetz dances and flits through the piece as though on a merry little jaunt through the countryside.
Somewhat better than the Heifetz is the Anne-Sophie Mutter interepretation dating from around the mid 1990's or so. Listen to Heifetz and then listen to Mutter and you'll wonder if you're listening to same piece. Where Heifetz flits and dances Mutter dramatizes and emotes, almost to the point of emotional cruelty. There are many who say Mutter's is the definitive reading, but it's too much of a soap opera for my tastes.
The only other two renditions of the concerto I've heard are both gems. The first is from Itzhak Perlman and the second from Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg, a violinist who usually comes on a little too strong for my liking, but who gives what I think is the definitive reading among the four. The Perlman is a fantastic, virtuoso perfomance with an overpowering Russian feel to the music, much in the tradition of Tchaikovsky, a composer whom Sibelius was often compared to early in his career. However, as exhilirating as it is, it simply doesn't have the sort of raw power of the Salerno-Sonnenberg version. Maybe the musical purists will disagree, but raw power is what the Sibelius needs and Salerno-Sonnenberg provides it willingly and with gusto. Even in the Adagio she manages to soften the tone without losing any of that emotional strength that seems to power the engine of this piece. It's a remarkable CD that definitely belongs in any musical collection, classical or otherwise.
Which brings me back to Hilary Hahn and Natalie Zhu. The new CD is called Mozart Violin Sonatas, it's on the Deutsche Grammophone label (which means no rootkits, I hope), and would it really suprise anyone if I told you that the playing and the players are absolutely flawless. Probably not because, let's face it, anyone at all familiar with H.H.'s past achievements wouldn't doubt for a minute that she would utterly master these four Mozart Sonatas. They are absolutely suited to the brlliance of her style, and the dialog between N.Z. and H.H. is clever and witty in the best Mozart fashion, and everything on this CD from the picture on the front all the way to the barcode on the back is done with impeccable taste and style. And frankly, after a dozen or so listens I think I'm a little Mozart'd out.
I mean, it's not like there aren't any other Mozart CD's out there or any classical music stations playing Mozart day after day, morning, noon and night. In fact, I think at any given time Beethoven and Mozart probably account for 50% of all classical music currently playing on classical music stations across the nation. At least it seems that way, and that's why I love this CD but I wish that H.H. had done something a little different. I know, I know, everyone loves Mozart and certainly no record label is going to scream and holler if you decide to do a Mozart CD, but, geez, I'm just not in the mood.
Which brings me to the main point of this posting. That is I read somewhere that H.H. gave a performance or is going to give a performance somewhere and she played or is going to play a piece I didn't know was in her repertoire. I wish I could remember where I read it but the article said she was going to play...
The Sibelius Violin Concerto.
Hilary Hahn playing the Sibelius? Are you kidding me? Now don't get me wrong. I love H.H.'s playing and I've got every one of her CD's, but a raw, emotional piece like the Sibelius? Somehow, even as gifted as she is, the words "raw" and "emotional" aren't qualities I'd usually associate with her style. She is a strong player, however, and with much better instincts and control than others I've heard, so maybe she could pull off the Sibelius. Redefine it, if you will. Now that would be interesting. That would be something I'd like to hear. She could probably play the Mozart in her sleep but the Sibelius...hmmm.
Of course she has done some similar things in the past. Let me think. She won a well deserved grammy for the Brahms, and of course she recorded the Mendelssohn, although with not nearly the success of others she has recorded. And she did the Beethoven, but the Brahms and the Beethoven are very different from the Sibelius. The Sibelius is a little more out there. I tell you, if she ever decides to record it there will definitely be some interested fans who would be very anxious to hear what she does with it. And since she is the only major violinist I can think of who hasn't recorded it then, well, there you go. I guess that settles it.
Oops, wait a minute, I almost forgot. She's got some sort of Paganini project in the works. Heh, she'll ace that one. She's definitely got the chops to handle Paganini. And in the meantime (sigh), there's always Mozart.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Behold The Wages Of Sin
"Hey Pete, is that you man?"
"Hey T"
"What you doin' down here?"
"Gettin' stoned" he says as he passes the paper bag my way. "You want a hit?"
"What's in the bag?"
"Fifth of Beam. Good stuff, man. Go on, take a swig."
"Naw, no thanks."
"Ok, suit yourself. You don't want to party with me it's no sweat off my ass."
"Why you down here drinking Beam like some wino anyways?"
"Shit. Nothing else to do."
"You break up with Rosalie chick or something?"
"Aw man" he laughed, "where you been? You mean Roberta? Man, I ain't seen her since I moved to Sacramento."
"You moved to Sacramento?"
"Yeah. Don't you remember?"
"Naw. I ain't seen you in a long time. I ain't seen you since you got your house broken into. Damn, that's like ten years ago or something."
"Yeah, I remember that. Son of a bitch, that was a nice stereo too and they fuckin' ripped me off. Mother fuckers!" He paused a second or two and then continued. "So now what? Now you're all straightlaced and shit and don't party no more?"
I didn't answer. "What were you doin' in Sacramento?"
"Working."
"Oh yeah, doin' what?"
"Aw, you know. This and that. Bullshit mostly."
"So you still working up there?"
"Naw, I got fired. They busted me for smoking."
"Busted you for smoking? Smoking what?"
"Cigarettes, man. They fired me for smoking cigarettes."
"Smoking cigarettes? You gotta be shittin' me. Were you smoking in the bathroom or something?"
"Naw, I wasn't even smoking at work. Not in the building or outside or anything."
"And they fired you? What for?"
"The boss was a real asshole, man. He said that their health insurance costs were going up and so he made this rule that you had to be a non-smoker in order to work there and then he made everyone take breathalyzer tests and shit so he could check and make sure no one was sneaking a cigarette in their off hours. You know, shit like that. One day he told me I was gonna have to blow into this machine and so I told him 'Why don't you come over here and blow on this'. That's when they fired me."
"That's bullshit. They can't fire you for smoking cigarettes on your own time."
"Oh yes they can. We even talked to some legal aid guy about it and he said they can fire you anytime they want and they don't even need a reason. "
"They can fire you for smoking cigarettes in your own living room?"
"Man, everyone's doing it nowdays. Don't you watch the news? It's like you agree to work for someone and they get to control your life."
"Shit."
"Shit."
"So that's why you left Sacramento?"
"Naw, that wasn't it. I got another job up there, and even quit smoking too. You know, I figured a man's gotta eat, don't he, so I threw away my cigarettes and got this job. And I was being real good, too. No smoking, no drinking, nothing. And then one day the boss comes in and tells us that due to rising health care costs the company was going to start monitoring everyone's diet. And then he tells us from now on everyone was going to have to buy all their food from the company grocery store and that anyone caught eating food that wasn't sold at the company store was gonna be fired. And then he told us that we were all gonna have to be weighed everyday when we came in to work and that they would be monitoring everyones waistlines and dress sizes and if they noticed any increases that they were gonna be fired. Then he told us we were all gonna have to start on a company exercise program and that anyone not showing up for their company exercises was gonna be fired. "
"You mean you could only eat food that they approved?"
"Yeah, we had to buy it at their store and they used to come to our houses after work and on the weekends to check the garbage just to make sure that we weren't eating anything we weren't supposed to."
"So what happened?"
"Aw man, I couldn't stomach that shit. Tofu burgers and raw onions and soy milk - you could eat 50 pounds of that crap and still be hungry, you know what I mean? So one day I drove into the parking lot and the security guard spots a half-eaten french fry on the passenger seat and boom - slick as shit I was out the door."
"You ate a french fry in the car? Holy shit, Pete, what were you thinking?"
"I couldn't hack it. It was bad enough I had to quit the cigarettes and booze, but the tofu burgers...that was just totally fucked."
"I didn't know they could do shit like that."
"Neither did I, but they can."
"So that's when you left Sacramento."
"I wanted to, but I needed money, man. What was I gonna do? I decided I better lay off the fries and go out and get another job and so I went out and got one. And I was so gonna make it this time. Man my lungs were clear, my mind was sharp, my belly was empty, and I was walking the treadmill everyday too. And then I met this girl. Guadalupe - Mexican girl, you know, and she was fine. Long black hair and big brown eyes and always smelling like rosewater or something, you know. And real down-to-earth, too. Not like those other chicks I used to hang around with."
"So what happened?"
"Aw, I tell you she was beautiful. And here I was cleaning up my act and eating healthy and all of that, and I'd be taking her out to all these fancy places, you know, expensive restaurants and shows and things like that. Shit, I bet you can't picture a slob like me eating breadsticks in some fancy restaurant, but there we were, and I was in love, man. I mean I was really in love with that girl. Even went down to Modesto to meet her parents."
"And..."
"So one day I popped the question. Right there in the middle of this restaurant I asked her to marry me and guess what? She says 'Yes', just like that. Didn't even want to think it over or nothing. And so she started making all these plans and shit and I told all the people at work and I felt like after all the fucking up I'd done in my life I finally managed to get something right. And then..."
"Yeah?"
"One day the boss calls me into his office and tells me that before the company can allow me to get married, Guadalupe and I have got to go down and get our DNA tested. He says that due to rising health costs the company needs to be sure that we are biologically compatible and won't be pressuring their bottom line by bringing any babies with chronic health problems into the world. I told him that I didn't think that was any of the company's business and he said either I could go get the test or I could start looking for another job, so I agreed that we'd take the test."
"What happened?"
"The test came back and it said that I had some kind of gene that wasn't a good match for one of Guadalupe's genes and that there was a 1 in 350,000 chance that our children could develop some kind of disease because of it. The boss told me he was sorry but if I chose to marry Guadalupe then he would have to terminate me right then or there. It was my choice, it was either marry her or keep my job, but I couldn't do both. So I told him to go fuck himself. There were other jobs, but there was only one Guadalupe, and I told him that and then I walked right out the door."
"Right on, Pete. What a fucking asshole."
"Only when I went back to my place to tell Guadalupe what happened, she was gone. She left me a note and told me she loved me and she was sorry to leave me like that, but she couldn't marry me. She told me the company had called and explained what had happened and she couldn't take the chance of having a freak baby. That's what my boss had told her - that we would have a freak baby, and now that the results of our DNA tests were known neither one of us would ever be able to get a job again. Not if we got married anyways."
"He told her that?"
"I never found out what happened to Guadalupe. It was like she just disappeared of the face of the earth. I'll admit I was bitter for a while, but then...well, you can't survive on bitterness. I had to go find another job."
"Damn, Pete. This is like some kind of nightmare or something."
"The next job was just the same old shit. You know, due to rising health costs blah, blah, blah. But you know, even with everything that happened I still did alright for a while. I was getting lonely though. Ever since Guadalupe left I didn't have no woman or nothing, and, well, you know how it gets. A man gets lonely for the company of a woman. You know what they say, a woman may give a man many pains, but celibacy gives him no pleasures."
"Hey, that's pretty good. Did you come up with that?"
"No, I read in a book somewhere. Anyway, so one night I picked up this girl downtown and took her back to my place. It wasn't nothing. I was only looking for a little companionship and I never thought that there might be any problem. But then, you guessed it, the next day I go into work and the boss calls me into his office and asks me if I'd had any sexual relations lately. I told him yeah, though I didn't see how it was any of his business one way or the other. Then he reminds me that due to rising health costs the company had a policy about employees engaging in sexual relations outside of sanctity of marriage, and then he tells me he'll need to know the names of all my sexual partners. I ask him why and he says that the company will need to run sexual histories on all my partners to be sure that I hadn't taken any undue health risks. Naturally, I told him what he could do with his company health policy and that was that."
"Shit, why didn't the company just tie a camera to your dick and keep you under 24 hour surveillance."
"Don't be giving 'em any ideas, partner. So that was that job. My last job was the real kicker though. This time I really played it straight. No smokes, no booze, no burgers, no broads, nothing. I came into work each day and I didn't do nothing I wasn't supposed to do except kiss their asses just like any good 'ol American company man would. I thought there wasn't nothing that was gonna get me fired from this job this time."
"Uh-oh, what happened?"
"I finally got a little money together and so one day I decided to go down to the record store and buy a new CD. I looked around a while and bought this new one by a group I heard on the radio and I took it home to play on my stereo."
"So?"
"So, before I played it I decided I'd put it into my computer first to make a backup, you know, so in case anything happened I'd still have another copy I could use."
"Yeah. So what?"
"So I made the backup and then I played the CD and didn't think anything of it until I went into work the next day. I get into work and the boss calls me into his office and tells me that he just got a call from Sony BMG saying that a rootkit that they had installed on my computer reported back to them that I had made an illegal copy of one of their CD's. I said 'What?' and he said that Sony had installed a program on my computer that lets them know what I'm doing with my computer, and that last night their logs showed that I had made an illegal copy of one of their CD's. I said you must be shittin' me and the boss says no. Then he tells me that the company cannot condone this kind of unethical behavior and..."
"They fired you?"
"Yeah, and I was being so good. Shit. I tell you, you just can't win with these people. That's when I left Sacramento and came back down here."
"You mean you got busted by your computer?"
"Man, they got all the bases covered. Face it, T, they own us. Those big corporations out there, they own you, me, the government...everything."
"They don't own me. Not as long as I've got my blog and ten fingers to type with."
"Sheeeet...your blog. Man, what do you think would happen if your company ever read your blog."
"No one reads my blog, and I aim to keep it that way."
"Yeah, but just supposin'"
"Fuck it. I don't care. It's a free country ain't it."
"Like hell it is" he said, and then grew dark and silent.
"So what are you doing now?" I asked.
"What does it look like I'm doing? You want a hit?"
"Naw, man. I don't drink."
"Oh, you don't drink, like that's gonna save you. Believe me man, there's something you're doing that someone don't like and if they catch you at it your ass is grass."
"We're all just pawns on someone else's chessboard. Is that what you think?" Pete didn't answer. "So what you gonna do now, now that you got this all figured out I mean."
"Finish this bottle, have a cigarette, and go get a little poke from one of them whores over at JJ's. I still got some money in my pocket."
"Fuckin' eh, Pete, they really ran you through the ringer, man."
"It's a new world, T. No more vices and no more sins. We're all gonna have pink lungs and healthy livers and we're gonna lead good clean lives and live to be a hundred and ten."
"Bullshit!"
"See ya' T. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"See ya' Pete. There but for the grace of God..."
"
"Hey Pete, is that you man?"
"Hey T"
"What you doin' down here?"
"Gettin' stoned" he says as he passes the paper bag my way. "You want a hit?"
"What's in the bag?"
"Fifth of Beam. Good stuff, man. Go on, take a swig."
"Naw, no thanks."
"Ok, suit yourself. You don't want to party with me it's no sweat off my ass."
"Why you down here drinking Beam like some wino anyways?"
"Shit. Nothing else to do."
"You break up with Rosalie chick or something?"
"Aw man" he laughed, "where you been? You mean Roberta? Man, I ain't seen her since I moved to Sacramento."
"You moved to Sacramento?"
"Yeah. Don't you remember?"
"Naw. I ain't seen you in a long time. I ain't seen you since you got your house broken into. Damn, that's like ten years ago or something."
"Yeah, I remember that. Son of a bitch, that was a nice stereo too and they fuckin' ripped me off. Mother fuckers!" He paused a second or two and then continued. "So now what? Now you're all straightlaced and shit and don't party no more?"
I didn't answer. "What were you doin' in Sacramento?"
"Working."
"Oh yeah, doin' what?"
"Aw, you know. This and that. Bullshit mostly."
"So you still working up there?"
"Naw, I got fired. They busted me for smoking."
"Busted you for smoking? Smoking what?"
"Cigarettes, man. They fired me for smoking cigarettes."
"Smoking cigarettes? You gotta be shittin' me. Were you smoking in the bathroom or something?"
"Naw, I wasn't even smoking at work. Not in the building or outside or anything."
"And they fired you? What for?"
"The boss was a real asshole, man. He said that their health insurance costs were going up and so he made this rule that you had to be a non-smoker in order to work there and then he made everyone take breathalyzer tests and shit so he could check and make sure no one was sneaking a cigarette in their off hours. You know, shit like that. One day he told me I was gonna have to blow into this machine and so I told him 'Why don't you come over here and blow on this'. That's when they fired me."
"That's bullshit. They can't fire you for smoking cigarettes on your own time."
"Oh yes they can. We even talked to some legal aid guy about it and he said they can fire you anytime they want and they don't even need a reason. "
"They can fire you for smoking cigarettes in your own living room?"
"Man, everyone's doing it nowdays. Don't you watch the news? It's like you agree to work for someone and they get to control your life."
"Shit."
"Shit."
"So that's why you left Sacramento?"
"Naw, that wasn't it. I got another job up there, and even quit smoking too. You know, I figured a man's gotta eat, don't he, so I threw away my cigarettes and got this job. And I was being real good, too. No smoking, no drinking, nothing. And then one day the boss comes in and tells us that due to rising health care costs the company was going to start monitoring everyone's diet. And then he tells us from now on everyone was going to have to buy all their food from the company grocery store and that anyone caught eating food that wasn't sold at the company store was gonna be fired. And then he told us that we were all gonna have to be weighed everyday when we came in to work and that they would be monitoring everyones waistlines and dress sizes and if they noticed any increases that they were gonna be fired. Then he told us we were all gonna have to start on a company exercise program and that anyone not showing up for their company exercises was gonna be fired. "
"You mean you could only eat food that they approved?"
"Yeah, we had to buy it at their store and they used to come to our houses after work and on the weekends to check the garbage just to make sure that we weren't eating anything we weren't supposed to."
"So what happened?"
"Aw man, I couldn't stomach that shit. Tofu burgers and raw onions and soy milk - you could eat 50 pounds of that crap and still be hungry, you know what I mean? So one day I drove into the parking lot and the security guard spots a half-eaten french fry on the passenger seat and boom - slick as shit I was out the door."
"You ate a french fry in the car? Holy shit, Pete, what were you thinking?"
"I couldn't hack it. It was bad enough I had to quit the cigarettes and booze, but the tofu burgers...that was just totally fucked."
"I didn't know they could do shit like that."
"Neither did I, but they can."
"So that's when you left Sacramento."
"I wanted to, but I needed money, man. What was I gonna do? I decided I better lay off the fries and go out and get another job and so I went out and got one. And I was so gonna make it this time. Man my lungs were clear, my mind was sharp, my belly was empty, and I was walking the treadmill everyday too. And then I met this girl. Guadalupe - Mexican girl, you know, and she was fine. Long black hair and big brown eyes and always smelling like rosewater or something, you know. And real down-to-earth, too. Not like those other chicks I used to hang around with."
"So what happened?"
"Aw, I tell you she was beautiful. And here I was cleaning up my act and eating healthy and all of that, and I'd be taking her out to all these fancy places, you know, expensive restaurants and shows and things like that. Shit, I bet you can't picture a slob like me eating breadsticks in some fancy restaurant, but there we were, and I was in love, man. I mean I was really in love with that girl. Even went down to Modesto to meet her parents."
"And..."
"So one day I popped the question. Right there in the middle of this restaurant I asked her to marry me and guess what? She says 'Yes', just like that. Didn't even want to think it over or nothing. And so she started making all these plans and shit and I told all the people at work and I felt like after all the fucking up I'd done in my life I finally managed to get something right. And then..."
"Yeah?"
"One day the boss calls me into his office and tells me that before the company can allow me to get married, Guadalupe and I have got to go down and get our DNA tested. He says that due to rising health costs the company needs to be sure that we are biologically compatible and won't be pressuring their bottom line by bringing any babies with chronic health problems into the world. I told him that I didn't think that was any of the company's business and he said either I could go get the test or I could start looking for another job, so I agreed that we'd take the test."
"What happened?"
"The test came back and it said that I had some kind of gene that wasn't a good match for one of Guadalupe's genes and that there was a 1 in 350,000 chance that our children could develop some kind of disease because of it. The boss told me he was sorry but if I chose to marry Guadalupe then he would have to terminate me right then or there. It was my choice, it was either marry her or keep my job, but I couldn't do both. So I told him to go fuck himself. There were other jobs, but there was only one Guadalupe, and I told him that and then I walked right out the door."
"Right on, Pete. What a fucking asshole."
"Only when I went back to my place to tell Guadalupe what happened, she was gone. She left me a note and told me she loved me and she was sorry to leave me like that, but she couldn't marry me. She told me the company had called and explained what had happened and she couldn't take the chance of having a freak baby. That's what my boss had told her - that we would have a freak baby, and now that the results of our DNA tests were known neither one of us would ever be able to get a job again. Not if we got married anyways."
"He told her that?"
"I never found out what happened to Guadalupe. It was like she just disappeared of the face of the earth. I'll admit I was bitter for a while, but then...well, you can't survive on bitterness. I had to go find another job."
"Damn, Pete. This is like some kind of nightmare or something."
"The next job was just the same old shit. You know, due to rising health costs blah, blah, blah. But you know, even with everything that happened I still did alright for a while. I was getting lonely though. Ever since Guadalupe left I didn't have no woman or nothing, and, well, you know how it gets. A man gets lonely for the company of a woman. You know what they say, a woman may give a man many pains, but celibacy gives him no pleasures."
"Hey, that's pretty good. Did you come up with that?"
"No, I read in a book somewhere. Anyway, so one night I picked up this girl downtown and took her back to my place. It wasn't nothing. I was only looking for a little companionship and I never thought that there might be any problem. But then, you guessed it, the next day I go into work and the boss calls me into his office and asks me if I'd had any sexual relations lately. I told him yeah, though I didn't see how it was any of his business one way or the other. Then he reminds me that due to rising health costs the company had a policy about employees engaging in sexual relations outside of sanctity of marriage, and then he tells me he'll need to know the names of all my sexual partners. I ask him why and he says that the company will need to run sexual histories on all my partners to be sure that I hadn't taken any undue health risks. Naturally, I told him what he could do with his company health policy and that was that."
"Shit, why didn't the company just tie a camera to your dick and keep you under 24 hour surveillance."
"Don't be giving 'em any ideas, partner. So that was that job. My last job was the real kicker though. This time I really played it straight. No smokes, no booze, no burgers, no broads, nothing. I came into work each day and I didn't do nothing I wasn't supposed to do except kiss their asses just like any good 'ol American company man would. I thought there wasn't nothing that was gonna get me fired from this job this time."
"Uh-oh, what happened?"
"I finally got a little money together and so one day I decided to go down to the record store and buy a new CD. I looked around a while and bought this new one by a group I heard on the radio and I took it home to play on my stereo."
"So?"
"So, before I played it I decided I'd put it into my computer first to make a backup, you know, so in case anything happened I'd still have another copy I could use."
"Yeah. So what?"
"So I made the backup and then I played the CD and didn't think anything of it until I went into work the next day. I get into work and the boss calls me into his office and tells me that he just got a call from Sony BMG saying that a rootkit that they had installed on my computer reported back to them that I had made an illegal copy of one of their CD's. I said 'What?' and he said that Sony had installed a program on my computer that lets them know what I'm doing with my computer, and that last night their logs showed that I had made an illegal copy of one of their CD's. I said you must be shittin' me and the boss says no. Then he tells me that the company cannot condone this kind of unethical behavior and..."
"They fired you?"
"Yeah, and I was being so good. Shit. I tell you, you just can't win with these people. That's when I left Sacramento and came back down here."
"You mean you got busted by your computer?"
"Man, they got all the bases covered. Face it, T, they own us. Those big corporations out there, they own you, me, the government...everything."
"They don't own me. Not as long as I've got my blog and ten fingers to type with."
"Sheeeet...your blog. Man, what do you think would happen if your company ever read your blog."
"No one reads my blog, and I aim to keep it that way."
"Yeah, but just supposin'"
"Fuck it. I don't care. It's a free country ain't it."
"Like hell it is" he said, and then grew dark and silent.
"So what are you doing now?" I asked.
"What does it look like I'm doing? You want a hit?"
"Naw, man. I don't drink."
"Oh, you don't drink, like that's gonna save you. Believe me man, there's something you're doing that someone don't like and if they catch you at it your ass is grass."
"We're all just pawns on someone else's chessboard. Is that what you think?" Pete didn't answer. "So what you gonna do now, now that you got this all figured out I mean."
"Finish this bottle, have a cigarette, and go get a little poke from one of them whores over at JJ's. I still got some money in my pocket."
"Fuckin' eh, Pete, they really ran you through the ringer, man."
"It's a new world, T. No more vices and no more sins. We're all gonna have pink lungs and healthy livers and we're gonna lead good clean lives and live to be a hundred and ten."
"Bullshit!"
"See ya' T. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"See ya' Pete. There but for the grace of God..."
"
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Stuck In The Middle With You
Not that I want to be a gossip or anything, but I've got to talk a little bit about the people next door. Nice people, really, with a Mom and a Dad, two high school aged daughters , a high school aged son, a dog, a boat, and...
five cars parked in the driveway and out in the street.
Yep, you heard me right - five people and five different cars. Let's see, there's the one daughter's Scion TC (I think that's what it is), there's the other daughters little Toyota something or other (can you tell I'm not a car guy), and the son's sporty little Lexus thingy (the one with the mega stereo that he's so keen to show off at 2:00 in the morning), the Mom's fancy-dancy Lexus LS something or other ( I think), and of course Dad's Supersized Lexus SUV which sits so proundly in their driveway and casts long shadows over the sun-starved yards of his neighbors. Yep, 5 cars in all, and that doesn't include the Toyota Avalon which shows up every now and then. I'm not sure who that belongs to - it might be the dog's.
So why do I bring all this up? What do you care what kind of cars my neighbors drive or if they park them all over the street? Hmmm, come to think of it you probably don't care so let me change the subject.
Have you heard about these new tax reform proposals that are making their way towards our nation's capital? You must of heard about them. After many months of hard work, a bipartisan group of former Senators, Congressmen, lawyers, professors, economists and financial professionals known collectively as the President's Advisory Panel on Federal Tax Reform has issued a report outlining a set of revenue neutral options for reforming the nation's complex tax code. Among it's many recommendations it calls for a general reduction in tax rates, the elimination of certain deductions, and new incentives for savings and investment.
So far, so good, right? What's not to like? Everyone agrees our tax codes need simplification so this should be a slam dunk, right? Of course, and that's why it will sail through Congress with nary a word of dissent, right? Sure, no problem.
Which brings me to that sacredest of all American cows - the mortgage interest write off. For those of you who don't itemize I should probably explain. According to the Panel, about 30% of American taxpayers currently deduct their mortgage interest payments from their taxes, which means the other 70% don't. Now what the Panel is proposing is a cap on the amount of mortgage interest that can be deducted, a cap that the Panel estimates would affect just 5% of taxpayers, which means it would not affect the other 95%. Of course the media, thumbing through 300 or so pages of the report was quick to pick up on this little detail, and to their credit they all listened patiently as the Panel explained that the proposals were meant to be revenue neutral and that taxpayers would see tax reductions in other areas, including the elimination of the Alternative Minium Tax. And so the media, with great thoroughness and careful weighing of the facts, not wanting to appear reactionary or alarmist, reported these proposals in their usual fair and balanced fashion.
PRESIDENT WANTS TO SLASH INTEREST RATE DEDUCTION FOR MIDDLE CLASS HOMEOWNERS!!!
(Washington D.C) In a move designed to leave millions of middle class Americans destitute and homeless, the President's Advisory Panel submitted drastic recommendations today that would add new burdens to families already suffering under the weight of record high energy prices. "This is a cruel, heartless proposal that will pull the crutches out from under people already crippled by debt and high prices" said Congressman...
(and so on, and so on, blah, blah, blah)
So I'm bringing this all up is because of a story that ran in the local paper today. Now remember, I live in Northern California and I know things are a little bit different out here, but still when I read this even I had to do a doubletake. It was a story about tax reform and how the mortgage intererst will affect homeowners here in the Santa Clara Valley. The reporter, wanting to get the reaction from the man in the street, went out to interview a typical Santa Clara Valley homeowner and document his suffering and pain. Nothing unusual in that, so let me just quote the article for you (it's from the November 2, 2005 edition of the San Jose Murky News)
"We may have to downsize,'' said Anthony Dominguez, 35, a program coordinator with the Santa Clara County Probation Department, who bought a $1.2 million house with a $960,000 mortgage in June in Gilroy. ``I don't think it's fair.''
Geez, times are tough, aren't they? Especially for us middle class Americans. Do you think the panel considered this guy's pain when they drew up the proposal? Nah, of course not. Do you think they considered the plight of we Northern Californians, living paycheck to paycheck and struggling to make the payments on our $960,000.00 mortgages. Hah, they don't care about the working man.
Yes, I was deeply saddened by this news, but if I one word of advice to offer Mr. Dominguez, one word of solace and comfort, it would be this: Don't worry, Mr. Dominguez, we Americans are a just and proud people, and believe me, this mortgage interest rate cap hasn't got a snowball's chance in hell of making it through Congress. Because you see, Mr. Dominguez, Americans, and by that I mean real Americans, would rather see innocent babies thrown from planes than lose their tax deductions. Trust me on this - there will be a happy ending.
In fact I can almost see it in my mind. Let's see...yes, that's it...slowly the picture comes into focus ... It's my neighbors, standing out in front of their house. There's mom and dad and the three kids all gathered around and dad's holding a newspaper with a headline that reads "TAX REFORM PROPOSALS REJECTED BY SENTATE". Dad is smiling, mom has a look of heartfelt relief on her face, and the son, with a tear of joy running down his cheek turns and asks
"Dad, does this mean I can keep the Lexus?"
"Yes, son, we can all keep our Lexus' ."
And then everyone starts to laugh and the camera zooms out and we see the sun shining and the birds singing, we see lawns being watered and a paperboy on his route, and all is right in Northern California. It's a new day and no one can take away our tax deductions ever again.
Not that I want to be a gossip or anything, but I've got to talk a little bit about the people next door. Nice people, really, with a Mom and a Dad, two high school aged daughters , a high school aged son, a dog, a boat, and...
five cars parked in the driveway and out in the street.
Yep, you heard me right - five people and five different cars. Let's see, there's the one daughter's Scion TC (I think that's what it is), there's the other daughters little Toyota something or other (can you tell I'm not a car guy), and the son's sporty little Lexus thingy (the one with the mega stereo that he's so keen to show off at 2:00 in the morning), the Mom's fancy-dancy Lexus LS something or other ( I think), and of course Dad's Supersized Lexus SUV which sits so proundly in their driveway and casts long shadows over the sun-starved yards of his neighbors. Yep, 5 cars in all, and that doesn't include the Toyota Avalon which shows up every now and then. I'm not sure who that belongs to - it might be the dog's.
So why do I bring all this up? What do you care what kind of cars my neighbors drive or if they park them all over the street? Hmmm, come to think of it you probably don't care so let me change the subject.
Have you heard about these new tax reform proposals that are making their way towards our nation's capital? You must of heard about them. After many months of hard work, a bipartisan group of former Senators, Congressmen, lawyers, professors, economists and financial professionals known collectively as the President's Advisory Panel on Federal Tax Reform has issued a report outlining a set of revenue neutral options for reforming the nation's complex tax code. Among it's many recommendations it calls for a general reduction in tax rates, the elimination of certain deductions, and new incentives for savings and investment.
So far, so good, right? What's not to like? Everyone agrees our tax codes need simplification so this should be a slam dunk, right? Of course, and that's why it will sail through Congress with nary a word of dissent, right? Sure, no problem.
Which brings me to that sacredest of all American cows - the mortgage interest write off. For those of you who don't itemize I should probably explain. According to the Panel, about 30% of American taxpayers currently deduct their mortgage interest payments from their taxes, which means the other 70% don't. Now what the Panel is proposing is a cap on the amount of mortgage interest that can be deducted, a cap that the Panel estimates would affect just 5% of taxpayers, which means it would not affect the other 95%. Of course the media, thumbing through 300 or so pages of the report was quick to pick up on this little detail, and to their credit they all listened patiently as the Panel explained that the proposals were meant to be revenue neutral and that taxpayers would see tax reductions in other areas, including the elimination of the Alternative Minium Tax. And so the media, with great thoroughness and careful weighing of the facts, not wanting to appear reactionary or alarmist, reported these proposals in their usual fair and balanced fashion.
PRESIDENT WANTS TO SLASH INTEREST RATE DEDUCTION FOR MIDDLE CLASS HOMEOWNERS!!!
(Washington D.C) In a move designed to leave millions of middle class Americans destitute and homeless, the President's Advisory Panel submitted drastic recommendations today that would add new burdens to families already suffering under the weight of record high energy prices. "This is a cruel, heartless proposal that will pull the crutches out from under people already crippled by debt and high prices" said Congressman...
(and so on, and so on, blah, blah, blah)
So I'm bringing this all up is because of a story that ran in the local paper today. Now remember, I live in Northern California and I know things are a little bit different out here, but still when I read this even I had to do a doubletake. It was a story about tax reform and how the mortgage intererst will affect homeowners here in the Santa Clara Valley. The reporter, wanting to get the reaction from the man in the street, went out to interview a typical Santa Clara Valley homeowner and document his suffering and pain. Nothing unusual in that, so let me just quote the article for you (it's from the November 2, 2005 edition of the San Jose Murky News)
"We may have to downsize,'' said Anthony Dominguez, 35, a program coordinator with the Santa Clara County Probation Department, who bought a $1.2 million house with a $960,000 mortgage in June in Gilroy. ``I don't think it's fair.''
Geez, times are tough, aren't they? Especially for us middle class Americans. Do you think the panel considered this guy's pain when they drew up the proposal? Nah, of course not. Do you think they considered the plight of we Northern Californians, living paycheck to paycheck and struggling to make the payments on our $960,000.00 mortgages. Hah, they don't care about the working man.
Yes, I was deeply saddened by this news, but if I one word of advice to offer Mr. Dominguez, one word of solace and comfort, it would be this: Don't worry, Mr. Dominguez, we Americans are a just and proud people, and believe me, this mortgage interest rate cap hasn't got a snowball's chance in hell of making it through Congress. Because you see, Mr. Dominguez, Americans, and by that I mean real Americans, would rather see innocent babies thrown from planes than lose their tax deductions. Trust me on this - there will be a happy ending.
In fact I can almost see it in my mind. Let's see...yes, that's it...slowly the picture comes into focus ... It's my neighbors, standing out in front of their house. There's mom and dad and the three kids all gathered around and dad's holding a newspaper with a headline that reads "TAX REFORM PROPOSALS REJECTED BY SENTATE". Dad is smiling, mom has a look of heartfelt relief on her face, and the son, with a tear of joy running down his cheek turns and asks
"Dad, does this mean I can keep the Lexus?"
"Yes, son, we can all keep our Lexus' ."
And then everyone starts to laugh and the camera zooms out and we see the sun shining and the birds singing, we see lawns being watered and a paperboy on his route, and all is right in Northern California. It's a new day and no one can take away our tax deductions ever again.
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