The Bad, The Good, And The Ugly

"Are you my...conscience?"

"Suprised?"

"Well, yes I am. Frankly I was expecting someone a little bit..."

"Older? A white-haired old man in flowing robes or something like that?"

"Yeah, something like that. But you're so young. I mean, you're just a child. How old are you anyways?"

"Old enough to know right from wrong. Don't feel bad - everyone expects their conscience to be old and wise, not some naive little kid just trying to fumble his way through."

"Yeah, it is quite a shock."

"What can I do for you? Is there something you wanted to ask me?"

"I don't know. I wasn't expecting to talk to a kid..."

"Oh, come, come - I know all y0ur secrets you know. Nothing you can say will suprise me."

"All my secrets?"

"All your secrets. All y0ur lies, all your forgetfulness', all your thoughtlessness', everything."

"Hey look - I think I've led a pretty decent life."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Give me one example of something I did that I should be ashamed of."

"Just ONE thing?"

"Yeah. Sure I might of told a white lie or two along the way, and maybe I forgot a birthday, but name me one thing that I should really be ashamed of."

"Ok, let's see...I know. How about back in the 6th grade. Remember Miss Z's class?"

"Sure I remember. I was a great student - model student really. A fine example for others to follow."

"Oh really. Do you think that's how Miss Z saw it? Is that why she had that talk with your father at the Parent-Teacher night? Remember what happened then?"

"You mean how my Dad grounded me for a month and made me read that 600 page astronomy book from cover to cover before he would allow me to watch TV again? You mean how he actually went through the book and tested me on it to make sure I read it? You mean how he came home from that meeting and sent me straight to my room and gave me that 'I've just had a talk with Miss Z and let me tell you there are going to be some changes around here' speech. Is that what you're talking about?"

"Doesn't sound like you were the model student to me."

"Well, ok, Maybe I was a little...you know...precocious."

"Do you remember why she had that talk with your Dad?"

"No, I never did find out what she told him. It was probably a big fuss over nothing. You know how Miss Z was. But I remember thinking at the time that it probably had something to with the flies in the overhead projector."

"The flies?"

"Yeah, a harmless prank. Don't you remember? Sheesh, some conscience you are. "

"Refresh my memory."

"Well, you see, the school I went to was a little overcrowded so the District brought in some portable classrooms. Miss Z's class was in one of the portables and I remember those things used to be ice cold in the mornings before class started. Anyways, the janitor would always let the kids in a little early so that he could go in and get the heater started before class began, and every morning when we walked in there would be hundreds and hundreds of these groggy little flies all stuck to the walls waiting for the heat to start so they could warm up their engines, so to speak, and get on with their little fly lives. So me and my friends would walk into the classroom and see these flies and we would start catching 'em - which was easy to do because they could barely even get their wings started when it was cold like that. I mean with one swipe of the hand you could catch like 10 or 15 flies at a time, easy. "

"And Miss Z didn't want you catching flies?"

"No, Miss Z didn't get in until the class was ready to start, which was about 10 minutes or so after the janitor used to let us in. No, what happened was one day I thought it would be really cool to catch a bunch of flies and throw them into the overhead projector."

"Why?"

"Well, you see, I thought it would be funny 'cause (I thought) when Miss Z turned on the overhead projector to show one of her little diagrams then the projector would light up and you would see all these flies crawling around the screen. At least that's what I thought would happen."

"And?"

"Well, I caught a bunch of flies - I don't know how many, a hundred, maybe more, and I put 'em into the overhead projector. You know it had this little panel that you would swing open so that you could change the light or whatever, and I caught all these flies and put them inside through the little panel."

"Yeah, I get you. Then what happened?"

"Well, the class got started and it was pretty boring as usual, and then around 2 hours into the class she wheeled up the overhead projector so that she could show these little charts she had drawn up. Miss Z was always one for showing little charts. Anyways, she plugged in the projector and I started laughing to myself because I knew that she was going to turn it on and everyone was going to see all these bugs crawling around on the screen and, I don't know, maybe Miss Z would let out a shriek or something. I didn't really know what was going to happen but I was sure it was going to be entertaining."

"I see."

"Look, I'll be the first to admit I was never the brightest kid in school. I mean I wasn't dumb but I certainly wasn't no scientist either, and I certainly didn't understand optics, or focal points or anything like that."

"So Miss Z turned on the overhead projector and..."

"Nothing happened. Nothing you could see anyways. I mean the flies were in there but they were so out of focus that you couldn't even see them. The prank was a total failure."

"So why did Miss Z talk to your father about it?"

"I don't know if she did or not, I just think she did. Anyways, you couldn't see the flies but they were in there and that overhead projector started getting really hot. And as it got hotter and hotter those flies started getting really agitated and flying around and bumping into things. And there was an exhaust fan on the projector, you see, and so there was this natural air current that ran through the little chamber where all the flies were. And the flies must of got wind of that current, so to speak, and all the while it was just getting hotter and hotter inside and so naturally the flies tried to follow that current out of there and flew straight into the fan. Like I said, I put a lot of flies in there and with all of them flying into the fan like that, well, pretty soon the fan started to get a little gummy with all the dead flies and fly pieces and such, and finally the fan got so gummy that it wouldn't turn anymore. So the fan got stuck and when that happened the light went out and the projector stopped working. It was some sort of safety feature I guess."

"And?"

"And, so Miss Z sees the projector stop and she figures that the light bulb must be burnt out or something. So she goes back to the projector and opens the little panel and..."

"Don't tell me."

"Yeah, it was a massacre in there. It looked the Little Big Horn of flies, corpses and little fly pieces lying everywhere, and only a handful of survivors buzzing around or dragging their crippled bodies across the bottom of the projector. It was a somber scene, man, and then Miss Z stands up and says 'What's going on around here?', so of course L.R., one of the other kids in the class, stands up says he saw me do it. Geez, what a little suck-up that kid was. Teacher's Pet, you know the type."

"And then what happened?"

"Nothing. I just told Miss Z I didn't do it and she couldn't prove I did, but I don't think she believed me."

"So let me get this straight. You tortured and maimed these poor little animals and then you lied to the teacher about it?"

"I didn't mean to torture and maim them. I didn't expect them to get all excited and start flying into the fan or anything like that. I'm not some kind of serial killer, for Christ's sake."

"But you did lie to the teacher?"

"Ah, leave me alone will ya."

"But I'm your conscience."

"That's right, I forgot. Yeah, I killed those flies and I lied to the teacher about it, and I'll probably burn in hell for it one day. Happy now?"

"Oh, give me a break. Let's not be overdramatic here, ok? I'm only your conscience, not your judge."

"Pffft, right!"

"No, I'm serious. Sure, I know all the bad things you've done, but remember I also know the good as well."

"Well thank you Mr Conscience, sir. At least I get credit for something around here."

"Of course you do. Remember your friend D back in the 4th grade?"

"Yeah, of course I remember D."

"Remember that day you rescued him from those kids at school."

"I didn't rescue nobody."

"Oh? That's not what I heard. Why don't you tell me about it."

"Nothing to tell. It was in the 4th grade and I was walking from tetherball courts over to the other side of the playground by the backstops when I look over behind one of the classrooms and see a bunch of kids standing around yelling at somebody."

"A bunch of kids? Who were they yelling at?"

"I'm getting to that part. So I walked over there and they're all standing around in a sort of semicircle and calling this kid some name I never heard before. So I walked up a little closer and I see my friend D standing in the middle of all these kids with his back up against the wall of the building and looking like he was gonna bust out crying or something."

"And?"

"And what?"

"And, what did you do?"

"Like I said I didn't do nothing. I just walked past the little semicircle and went up to D to ask him what was going on, only D was so upset that he didn't say anything. Anyways, after I went up to talk to him the crowd sort of broke up, I guess, and everyone just walked away."

"C'mon, there's more to the story than that."

"No, that's all that happened. I swear. Except for later that night when I was riding in the car with my Dad. I remember he had just bought some gas and we were leaving the gas station and I just kept wondering what it was that everyone was yelling at D that day. I mean it was a name I never heard before so I finally decided to ask my Dad what it meant."

"And what did he say?"

"Well, I asked him 'Dad, what's a Jew?', and he told me that it was some kind of religion, you know like some people are Catholics, and some people are Protestants, and some people are Jews.

"So what did you say?"

"I didn't say nothing. I mean, that didn't make any sense to me. At least I couldn't figure out why it would be a bad thing, or why anyone would call someone that. I knew there must be something more to it, something really awful, 'cause you know even the yard duties didn't try to break it up or anything. Usually if the yard duties see someone being harrassed like that they'll do something, but they didn't do anything. So I figured there must be something my Dad wasn't telling me, but I didn't press."

"Well if those kids had started beating him up the yard duties would have done something, wouldn't they?"

"I don't know. I've always wondered that. But as it turns out, they didn't have to do anything. No one got beat up."

"Because you broke it up."

"No, no, no. Look, I just went up to talk to my friend and that sort of broke the mood or something. I don't want to give the impression that I was trying to be some kind of hero or anything. It wasn't like some Hollywood Movie where the good guy gets up in front of the angry mob and stares 'em all down. It wasn't anything like that. It just happened, and then it was over."

"An unintentional good deed, perhaps."

"Yeah, purely unintentional. But I'll always remember that day. I mean, it will always stick in my conscience."

"Why's that?"

"I don't know, it's like people can be ok one-on-one because most times they want to make a good impression, but you get 'em in a crowd like that and it's like they lose all their inhibitions and show their true natures. You know what I mean? People in crowds are different than a person alone. You know, they're more themselves, and that's too bad."

"What do you mean. What's too bad?"

"I mean people are dirty bastards. They try to cover it up, but they're really just dirty bastards."

"Uh-huh, maybe some of 'em are. Anyways, what did you come here to talk to me about?"

"Ah, I don't know. Something's been buggin' me I guess."

"That's what I'm here for. What do you want to tell your conscience?"

"It's this whole war thing. Did you hear the news? 2,000 dead as of yesterday."

"So, what's that got to do with you?"

"You know what we've got? A war of attrition, that's what. It's true, even the generals and politicians say so."

"And what's your point?"

"You see a war of attrition is where you see which side runs out of live bodies first. They kill one of ours and we kill ten of theirs until finally one side or the other runs out of soldiers. It's like a giant spreadsheet where you just keep running the numbers and recalculating your odds and keep the score based on that day's tally of corpses. That's what a war of attrition is."

"I'm listening."

"So I'm asking myself why are we playing this game?"

"To spread democracy in Iraq."

"Oh yeah? Is that why we're doing it? You know I remember 9/11 and I don't remember any cries of "let's democratize Iraq" as the towers of the World Trade Center were coming down. As I remember it all people wanted to do back then was get an army together and go kick sombody's ass."

"So what are you saying? That we're in Iraq for revenge?"

"No, no...maybe...I don't know. I don't think so. You know what I think? I think we're in this war just so that we can feel good about ourselves again."

"Huh?"

"Sure. Nothing makes a person feel higher or mightier than to be engaged in some noble cause. Even if it's not us but someone else doing the sacrificing and dying, it's still ennobling when you can honor someone's who's laid down their life for you. It fills you with pride and purposefulness, you know what I mean. I don't suppose a person ever feels so righteous and moral as when he's honoring the dead."

"You know this isn't the kind of thing you should make light of."

"I'm not making light of it - it's the truth. Soldiers want to be heroes, and good citizens want to honor the dead. Why else would we be so eager to have them die in wars of attrition, if not to have the honor of being appreciative of their sacrifice. Politics aside, when you get down to it that's what most wars are about."

"You're crazy. Look, I may just be your conscience but even I know that without wars there would no means of ending tyranny or fighting injustice. Wars are horrible, but sometimes they're necessary."

"And sometimes wars are necessary because once started, they can't be finished. "

"Sooner or later, all wars come to an end. Anyways, I still don't see what any of this has to do with you."

"I realized when I heard the news about the 2000 deaths that I really don't pay that much attention to this war. I mean I catch it on the news every now and then, but it's not something I think about all that much. Like a lot of people I'm much more concerned about the price of gas or the latest natural disaster. The fact that 3 soldiers died, or 4 or 5 or whatever, doesn't even rate a mention on the front page anymore. It's just a little here, a little there, and slowly the numbers build and build. And yet when it comes time to honor the dead I'm the first to stand up and give out a hearty 'here, here'. What do you think about that? What do you make of a people that are so proud to have their soldiers die, just as long as they don't intrude on their lives or interrupt their primetime schedules?"

"I think it makes them good citizens who support their country."

"Or..."

"Yes?"

"A bunch of dirty bastards."

Just Notes To Myself On The End Of TV As We Know It

The one good thing about soaring energy prices is that it forces people to reexamine their budgets and trim a little of the fat that they've built up over the years. I know that's what I've been doing and it's been a little bit of a blessing in disguise discovering all the money I've been wasting on things that I hardly ever use.

Like Satellite TV.

I spend way too much money for Satellite TV and premium channels that I hardly ever watch, so it's nice to have an excuse to finally cut the cord and jettison all that excess baggage. Goodbye HBO, goodbye STARZ, goodbye Showtime...goodbye to the same ol' crap month after month. Which has got me to thinking about this "new media" thing again.

That's because ridding myself of all that "old media" content was, suprisingly, really pretty painless. To tell the truth, since cancelling I've been so busy listening to podcasts and reading ebooks and surfing the internet that I haven't hardly noticed that I don't have HBO or Showtime anymore. And now that Apple has announced that they're getting into the video content delivery business, I have to wonder if I really need TV at all. After all, if I can download the content I want off the internet and watch it on my schedule then why should I pay a satellite or cable company 'X' dollars a month to stream it to my home at a date and time that's convenient for them?

Hmmm....

Maybe we should backtrack a little. First of all, as any geek can tell you video content on the internet is nothing new, and the new IPod is hardly the first portable video device to come down the pike. Sheesh, we Pocket PC users have had portable video devices for years, and have been ripping and downloading and transcoding quite happily without any help from Apple, thank you very much. What we've always lacked, however, is an easy, one-stop source for video like the Itunes Music Store. Now Apple is going to change all that by making downloading and watching video pushbutton simple.

For a price, of course.

So what does it all mean? Am I going to pay $1.99 to download the latest episode of "Lost Housewives" (or whatever it's called)? Well, no, I'm not. First of all I'm not interested in watching "Lost Housewives" and second, even if I was interested, all I'd have to do is TIVO it. So why pay the 2 bucks? Now I admit I'm not the typical TV watcher and there are probably billions of people out there who would live idle, empty lives were it not for the "Lost Houswives" show, but are they going to pay 2 bucks a pop to download it or are they just going to watch it for free on TV? I don't have a clue, but my guess is that they'll go the cheaper route.

But there's another way of looking at this. What about video c0ntent that you can't get on TV? Would people be interested in original programming created only for the internet?

There's a show called "Digital Life TV" that I like and which is currently available only as an internet download. It's a pretty geeky show and probably not everyone's cup of tea - that is, unless they're fascinated by video card framerates and HD-DVD vs. Blu-Ray debates (like I said, I'm not the typical TV viewer), and to get it you have to go to the Digital Life TV website and pick through a list of episodes and video formats and choose the one you're interested in and a format that's compatible with your system and then either stream it or download it to watch on your computer or transfer to some kind of portable device. It's not as complicated as it sounds but the producers do assume that the viewer is going to know the difference between Windows Media, Quicktime H.264, Mpeg 4 and Xvid, and truth be told anyone who doesn't know the difference probably isn't going to be very interested in the show in the first place.

Anyways, I like the show and I think a lot of other people would like it too if only they could find it and watch it. But in order for that to happen there needs to be a central location, a store perhaps, where lots of different shows would be offered for download and where they all would be in the same format and guaranteed to run on store-branded playback devices. A place like, oh, the Itunes Music Store, where all the viewer has to do is click on a button and the computer takes care of the rest. And more importantly (from my point of view at least), a place where Digital Life TV could gain access to a much larger pool of potential viewers while, in turn, viewers could gain access to programming that they couldn't get anywhere else. To me, that's what the video portion of the "new media" is really all about, not day-old reruns of network TV.

But would I pay 2 bucks a pop for Digital Life TV? Yeah, come to think of it I probably would, although I'd still like to be able to watch it on my Pocket PC. I don't know how they could make that happen, but you know this portable video thing has some potential. And the best part is that we're still so early in the process. I don't if this is the future of TV, but I tell ya', if I was in the TV business I wouldn't be feeling too smug and complacent right now. Not when there are so many smart people out there figuring this whole thing out.

They Grow Up So Fast

It's no secret that Barbie is in trouble. Sales are down and it seems like little girls just aren't as taken with the young Miss' as they used to be. I think maybe it's time to update the franchise and bring Barbie into the modern world, don't you? After all, what the young girls of today need is a plastic doll they can relate to, a doll more in tune with the 21st century. Here are a few of my suggestions to freshen up the franchise and make Barbie more compatible with today's young bobby-soxers.

1. The Barbie Tattoo Kit - Battery operated power supply and all the needles and inks your little 7 year old will need to adorn her Barbie with the latest tattoo styles. Also includes basic rose, skull, and barbwire templates that she'll need to get started, with an easy-to-follow booklet to illustrate more advanced designs she can make on her own. Imagine the fun you'll have as you help your daughter find just the right tattoo for her new Barbie, and then discuss the type of tattoo she might want to get when she gets when she becomes a teenager. Completely safe and non-toxic.

2. The Barbie Body Piercing Kit - Includes pliers, rings, piercing needles, antiseptic towelettes and special Barbie edition body jewlery. A perfect introduction to the ancient to the ancient art of body piercing. You'll be amazed as she pierces parts of Barbies body that you never imagined could be pierced. Nose, tongue, navel, kneecaps - the possiblities are endless. A special bargain when purchased with the Barbie Tattoo Kit.

3. The Barbie "Let's Hang Out at the Mall" Kit - Includes Barbie cellphone, Barbie credit card and Ammonia Inhalants. Hours and hours of endless fun as Barbie hangs out at the mall, flirts with the boys, SMS's her friends and shops for all the latest fashions. A perfect way to introduce young girls to the busy world of commerce, dating and multitasking. Ammonia Inhalants provided to revive the parents when they receive the end-of-the-month bills.

4. The Barbie Cosmetic Surgery Kit - Watch your daughter explore with this collection of syringes, scalpels, Botox, Collagen, Lyposuction machine and body enhancing implants. Thrill as she mixes and matches, adds and subtracts, and creates the perfect Barbie. (Note: This kit is automatically included with special "California" edition Barbies. Available separately on all other models).

Well, that's all I can think of right now, although I'm sure you can think of a few more. But hey, here's an idea. How about a replacement for that old G.I. Joe doll? You know the doll that's made for little boys. Personally, I never played with dolls when I was a kid, but I know that some boys do so why not an updated model for them too. We can call it the "Gameboy Jim" and it would be really simple. Just a male doll dressed in a dirty T-shirt and jeans, and the box would include a little toy TV, and a little toy game console and controller, and a little toy couch. Of course, the doll wouldn't do anything - it wouldn't even have to move. All it would have to do is sit there on the couch with it's hands wrapped around the controller while it stares at the TV. Yes, that's a great idea. I bet there isn't a young boy in the entire country who couldn't relate to that.

I really ought to be in marketing.

He Ain't Heavy, He's My (Big) Brother

I warned you about that Stagflation thing, didn't I? Yeah, well, you never listen to me anyways. So here we are a couple of hurricanes later and what do we have - rising prices and a slowing economy, that's what. But I didn't come here to say "I told you so", I came to ask "what can we do about it?"

So here's my solution.

See, I've been thinking on this and trying to figure out what we should do . I mean we've got this souring economy with soaring energy prices, rising credit card delinquency rates, slower than expected job growth (before the hurricanes), and all the rest of it. What should we do? Well, it's obvious isn't it?

We should sell the economy.

I mean let's dump this turkey on some unsuspecting rube and go out and buy ourselves a new one. I was thinking maybe we could put it up on EBay. You know...

For Sale - One National Economy. 229 years old. Mint condition with some minor blemishes (rising prices and shrinking manufacturing base) but otherwise excellent. Secure markets and sound infrastructure an added bonus. Must see!!!
Current Bid $1.00

Sure, that'd sell. I bet we could get 2, maybe 3 trillion dollars for it. Then, once we had the cash we could go out and buy Shanghai or something. Maybe even have a little left over for a nice downpayment on Singapore or Hong Kong. Geez, that'd be a perfect solution.

But then I thought about it some more and and even better idea came to me. Don't sell it on EBay, sell it to Google instead! Sheesh, they can afford it, and as far as I can tell they haven't bought a national economy yet. Yeah, what a great idea, and as luck would have it they just happen to be headquartered right here in Silicon Valley. It would be a breeze for me to just pop on over there and see what they have to say.

So that's what I did.

I got in my car and headed north. You know even though they're right up the road from me in Mt. View I'd never been to the actual Google HQ before, and boy what a treat that was. That beautiful glass building glimmering Ozlike in the California sun...well, words alone can't express the wonder and awe. I parked my car and entered the front lobby where I immediately spotted a sign posted at the front reception desk.

Ezevkedd Jgg, Ezed Google.

Puzzled, I asked the receptionist what the sign said.

"Oh, it is a little strange isn't it?" she said to me.

"Yes it is. I've never seen anything like it."

"Well", she explained, "at Google we discovered that if we're ever going to realize our goal of indexing the entirety of human thought and experience and hyperlink every idea and fact as it exists in the world today, then we would have to come up with some kind of common language to describe it all. You know, a truly international language that would unify all the nationalities and ethnic groups around the globe."

"You mean you invented your own language?"

"Yes...we had to."

"What is this language of yours called?" I asked.

"Why Google, of course. We call it Google, and the founders tell us that someday it will replace all other languages."

"Google? Are you serious? You really expect everyone to drop the language they're currently using and learn Google?"

"Why of course we're serious, and after all when Google becomes the architecture what other choice will they have? There will be only Google, the founders have decreed it. In fact the founders have seen it in a vision. The day will come when we will all be Google, when we will all think Google, when the first words out of a babies mouth won't be Mommy or Dada but..."

"Google?"

"(sigh)"

"Well I'm pretty old-fashioned I guess and I don't speak much Google so would you mind telling me what the sign says. In English, that is."

"Sure. It says 'There are no secrets, there is only Google'."

"No secrets, only Google huh. Sounds a little sinister if you ask me."

"I knew you were going to say that."

"You did?"

"Yes, Mr. Myers, you have no secrets from us."

"Right... No secrets."

"Now I believe you're here to see Mr. Brin, is that right? Something about the national economy?"

"Yes, but how did you..."

"What did I just say. No secrets, Mr. Myers. No secrets."

"Oh yeah, only Google. You know you're starting to scare me."

"Mr. Brin asked me to tell you that he can't see you right now, however he knew you'd be up here to make the offer and he wants you to know that Google is already in prelimary talks with the government about issues which may or may not be related to those which you wish to speak to him about."

"You mean they're really going to do it? Google's going to buy the entire U.S. national economy?"

"..."

"Oh c'mon. You can tell me. Are they really going to buy the whole economy?"

"I'd love to discuss this with you but I'm afraid I can't unless you sign a Non-disclosure Agreement. Of course we knew you were on your way here so we've already got one prepared and ready to go."

"You people are unbelievable. You knew I was coming so you..."

"There are no secrets, only..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Let me see that Agreement."

"Oh that won't be necessary. We already know that you'll sign the Agreement, so if you'll just take this pen and sign here."

"You already know I'll sign the Agreement? Well, of all the nerve. You know maybe I don't feel like signing the Agreement. Maybe you people aren't as all-knowing as you think you are. Maybe you can take this Agreement and shove it right up that all-seeing Oracle of yours. Yeah, what do you think about that?"

"You'll sign it."

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

"Because if you don't then this entire post will have been a waste of time."

"How do you work this pen."

"Just twist the end there. That's it. Good. All signed. Now what is it that you want to know?"

"I want to know if Google is really going to buy the United States of America?"

"Actually, it's just the data we want. You know, there is a lot of top secret data that we haven't been able to access yet. The founders feel that by purchasing this country, among others, we'll be able to index that information and add it to our databases and thus extend our reach ever deeper into the lives of every man, woman and child alive in the world today."

"Wait a second. I thought your motto was 'No secrets, only Google'. You mean to tell me that there are databases that you don't have access to?"

"Give us time, Mr. Myers. It's only a matter of time."

"I don't know what to say. Words escape me. I'm...I'm...I'm... so humbled."

"Be at peace, Mr. Myers. Let Google be your light in the darkness."

"I feel so small, so frail somehow. Yes, it's true. You have shown me the way. There is only Google. The one, the only. No secrets, only Google."

"Rest now, my son. Lay down your burden and embrace the kingdom which is Google. Be Google, Live Google, Know Google."

"I feel so safe."

"Google will protect you."

"I feel so strong."

"Let Google be your sword."

"I feel so loved."

Amen

Amen