I Didn't Want to do a 9/11 Post, So Here It Is

No doubt about it; it's been a very strange war. Just the whole way it's been marketed has been strange; sort of the no-mess, no-fuss war.

"Got a terrorist problem? Tired of sacrifice and hardship and all those messy, hard-to-use wars you've used in the past? Then you should try our new 'Terror-B-Gone' anti-terrorist cleaner. With it's patented 'Hi Tech' ingredients, 'Terror-B-Gone' will both clean and disinfect those nasty terrorist hotspots. No more scrubbing and no more unpleasant smells. Just spray it on and wipe it off, and you're through. 'Terror-B-Gone' not only kills the terrorists, it's special formula also gets those nasty insurgencies that terrorists can sometimes leave behind. Try new 'Terror-B-Gone' today. (Now in the convenient nation building size)."

Yeah, just because there's a war going on that doesn't mean we have to stop partying, does it? At least that's what this administration seems to be saying. "Now don't be showing any dead soldiers coming back from the war. We don't want to upset the public, especially at dinnertime."

Of all the strange things that have come out of this war, though, I think the strangest has to be the TV footage I saw of the German Army deploying in the deserts of Afghanistan yesterday. I'm not trying to imply anything here, but when I looked at those pictures I just got this really weird sort of deja-vu type of feeling. Does anyone remember Rommel? The Afrika Corps? I know it's totally different circumstances now. It just struck me as strange.

Anyways, that's all in the past. Our new threat, or so we're told, is this thing called Islamafascism. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I'm guessing that they're telling us that just as the European fascists once threatened the world and started the Second World War, now it is Islamist fascists that are threatening the world and bringing us to the brink of World War III. Well, that's what the current administration believes, and no one could ever accuse this current administration of being alarmist or trying to panic the public two months before a midterm election.

So I got to thinking about this whole thing and, you know, to me it just doesn't seem to scale. Let me explain what I mean. According to Wikipedia Al-Qaeda has somewhere around 20,000 members worldwide. In WWII, the Wehrmacht numbered over 18 million. Not quite the same in my book. At it's peak, the Third Reich occupied France, Belgium, The Netherlands, Norway, Finland, Poland, Croatia, Serbia, Albania, Montenegro, Greece, Romania, Bulgaria, Hungary, Czeckoslovakia, Austria, Western Russia and parts of Northern Africa. Al-Qaeda currently occupies a few bases and remote outposts in Northern Pakistan. Again, not quite the same. The Third Reich had one of the most advanced and well-equipped armies in the world, as well as a modern airforce and submarine fleet. Al-Qaeda has explosives and some suicide bombers. Deadly, yes, but not really a threat to overrun Europe.

And yet we act as if they are. Why is that?

The way I see it, if terrorism is about scaring the enemy into irrational actions, then Al-Qaeda has certainly succeeded. America, it seems, has taken this group of 20,000 or so fanatics and created this enormous bogeyman that's going to bring us to the brink of WWIII. That's what happens when you're panicked with fear--you inflate the threat until it becomes this monstrous thing that's living in your closet and is going to eat you up as soon as you fall asleep.

Instead of panicking, maybe what we need to do is step back and do a little reality check. Yes, there is a danger, but how big a danger is it really? I don't have the statistics in front of me but I'll bet you that you're far more likely to die from that cheeseburger and fries you had for lunch than you are from a terrorist attack. If you put things in their proper perspective and don't overreact, then it's easy to tell the difference between prudence and paranoia. In fact, isn't overreaction a big reason we're in the mess we are right now. The more they provoke, the more we react, and the more they are able to use the energy of our reactions to grow and gather strength. Isn't that what people call "feeding the fire".

I think it works something like that.

And just to change the subject, can we please stop calling every difficulty that arises in life a "crisis". Geez Louise. Of course it's the news people who are mostly responsible. Seems you can't have a news show if you don't have a "crisis" to start things off. Got to keep the viewers from changing the channel, you know. That's why when the local 7-11 runs out of ice cream bars, the evening news sends a crew out and calls it "Crisis in America's Dairyland". Geez Louise...

So anyways that's my 9/11 post. All the other bloggers were posting about it so I thought I'd chime in too. Hardly seems worth the bother.

I've Seen the Future and It's Slow - Very Slow

I'll admit that sometimes it's hard to know how to pass the time. Having too much leisure can be as much a curse as a blessing. Better to stay occupied and busy than let dullness and torpidity drain life of its vigor. Stimulation, that's what the human spirit needs, a sense of action and purpose.

So with that in mind let me tell you about the "Unbox" online video store that Amazon.com launched last week, because believe me, if you're the type that can be endlessly entertained by the slow creep of progress bars then "Unbox" will never leave you bored again. Oh, you haven't heard of the Amazon "Unbox"? Well then, let me explain.

For about the past year those Ipod folks have had it all over us poor Windows Media types. Although our devices could play music just like the Ipod and play video just like the Ipod, there weren't any Windows Media stores on the Internet where we could legally purchase video content that would play on our devices. The Ipod crowd could purchase videos from their Itunes Music Store, but the rest of us were left out in the cold.

That sort of changed earlier this year when Starz launched their Vongo service, but unfortunately that service only had support for 2 devices. Great if you happened to own one of those devices but not much use to anyone else.

Last week, however, Amazon.com launched their highly anticipated "Unbox", and for the first time the majority of Windows Media device owners had what the Ipodders merely took for granted; a place to shop for video downloads. Of course, as the owner of a Windows Media device (Creative Zen Vision:M) I signed right up, downloaded the software, and got right to it. Here's what I found.

First of all, the service works. For around 10 or 15 dollars you can download a movie and either watch it on your computer or transfer it to your portable device. Unfortunately, that's all you can do with it. You can't burn it to a DVD and watch it on your home theater like you would with a DVD purchased at the store. It either plays on your computer or your device. Period.

Well, they say there's one born every minute, but even a sucker like me can't get too excited over a deal like that. Why would I pay the same price online as I would in a store for something that's so limited in its use? Interestingly, Apple Computer also announced a similar sort of limited use movie download program today, and you have to believe that it isn't the technology companies that are trying to kill the online video business--it's Hollywood. I'm sure that Amazon and Apple would like to keep their customers happy by offering movies that can downloaded and owned and used just like any other purchased movie, but it appears that Hollywood is never going to let that happen. Instead, their real goal seems to be the destruction of the whole download model, which they must see as a threat to the current DVD/cable/pay-per-view model that's earning them such handsome returns.

Oh well, it goes without saying that I won't be downloading any movies from either Amazon or Apple anytime soon. However, I was interested in some of the TV shows that Amazon had for sale so I gave it a try, and here's where it gets interesting. Now of course there have been "Unbox" horror stories circulating around the net about broken downloads and licensing nightmares and all the sorts of thing you have to expect that from a brand new service. All I can say is that I downloaded a show to my computer and it played fine, and then I transferred it over to my device and it played fine there too. No horror stories from me except...

Before I go any futher I should also explain that Amazon.com touts their TV downloads as "DVD quality", which is good if you like quality, and bad if you've only got a limited time on this earth and want to experience something of life before you die. I can personally vouch for the quality of the videos. They look fantastic on both my computer monitor and on my media device, and look much, much, much, much, much better than any of the videos I've downloaded from Itunes. On the other hand, how does a 852 Megabyte download for a 40 minute show strike you? And you can forget about broadband or fast connections 'cause Amazon's servers don't care. At least they didn't care last weekend, and it took me at least 90 minutes to download a 40 minute video. If you do the math you'll see that comes out to about twice as long to download it as to watch it.

Luckily, Amazon will let you start watching the video as soon as you have downloaded enough to fill the playback buffer, so that cut the time between the start of the download to the point where I could start watching the show to about 1 hour and 5 minutes. Did I mention that this was a 40 minute show? Then again, when the video finally arrived it looked really good. The show looked so good, in fact, that I went ahead and ordered the rest of the season. I don't know what I was thinking but I figure that with only 23 more shows in the series to download I should be finished by around Christmas.

And they'll look really good.

Anyways, if you have a Windows Media device and you want to buy some video for it what other choice do you have? Just be patient and make sure you have plenty of room on your hard drive. At 850 MB per show you're gonna need it.

I Love You California

Greetings from California, where the Labor Day weekend is behind us and election day is just around the corner. In case you forgot that the elections are coming the President made sure he reminded us with his biennial "terrorist scare" speech today. "We are not safe" he told us, "so let fear be your guide when you go to the polls and cast your vote." (Ok, he didn't say that second part, but the subtext was clear)

Honestly, I don't know how long the Republicans can keep playing the pre-election terrorist card before voters start to catch on. Geez, now they've got the public so panicked that there are people out there actually worried that someone is going to bring down a 747 with a tube of toothpaste. Could happen, I guess, but seems a little farfetched to me.

Instead of panicking everyone I think what the airlines should do is take a page out of Great Britain's playbook and install security cameras in the airplanes. And I mean everywhere. Every seatback, every aisle, and every bathroom should have a little cc-camera watching the action. That way, a security officer in the front of the plane can scan all the activity in the cabin, and as soon as he sees someone pull out a bottle of water or reach for a Ipod (BAM!) two goons come running down the aisle and wrestle him to the floor. Pretty good idea, huh? And you won't need to stand in some long security line anymore. Just get on the plane, find your seat, keep your hands in plain sight where we can see 'em, don't make any unnecessary movements, and we'll all have a nice, safe, comfortable flight.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about the elections. We're in the home stretch here in California and I think even the Democrats have given up on poor old Phil. Not completely, mind you, but there just doesn't seem to be much enthusiasm over in the blue camp for the Angelides campaign. I've blogged about this before and I don't want to beat a dead horse. Let's just say...

You know what he reminds me of? He reminds me of a career bureaucrat. In the commercials they try to make him look commanding and purposeful, but no matter how you try to package it he still has that aura of a supervisor at the DMV. You know what I mean?

"Hey Phil, you got change for a dollar?"

"Sorry, I can't do that. I'm not allowed to handle money."

"Huh?"

"I can't do that. If you want change for your dollar you'll need to fill out Form TTDCL998-R at the information desk and take it over to window 97."

"Window 97? You mean you can't just give me change. I've got to go to Window 97? The one where the line goes halfway out to the parking lot?"

"No. You need to fill out the Form TTDCL998-R at the Information desk and then you go to Window 97 to get your change."

"Form what? TCD898 dash what? Where am I supposed to go?"

"TTDCL998-R. You get it at the information desk. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, you've been a great help. Thanks a lot, Phil. You know all I needed was a couple of quarters for the parking meter."

"Window 97. I'm sorry, but rules are rules."


Judging by the number of TV ads being run, the real election issue out here in California seems to be the Proposition 87 oil production tax. If you want me to explain it I can't, although I can give you this link if you want to read it. Basically, what the proponents want to do is put a tax on oil production that will pay for research on alternative fuels. Prop 87 also provides that the cost of the new tax cannot be passed on to consumers. In other words, a real win-win situation for California. We get controls on the price of gasoline and we also get to beat up on the oil companies at the same time. Why didn't Secretary Bodman think of that?

Unfortunately, I'm not buying it. The problem, it seems to me, is that making gasoline refined in California more expensive only provides an incentive for gasoline distributors to buy their gas somewhere else. Why pay more when you can go out of state and pay less? That's usually what happens when you try to implement price controls, and I'm not saying Prop 87 has real price controls, but it comes awfully close. It's been my experience that when the government tries to tell an industry what they can charge for their product what you get is shortages and pent-up demand.

But who knows, maybe this'll work. It certainly has a lot of voter appeal and a Field Poll that came out last month had it well out in front. Either way, regardless of what happens elsewhere, I expect gasoline in California will remain expensive for some time to come. Which will all lead us to where we should be going in the first place anyways, i.e., more fuel efficient cars. There's a novel idea. Maybe that should be on the ballot. Prop 289 - The "If Your Sick of High Prices then Quit Driving that Gas Guzzler" Initiative.

Well, with all this turmoil going on it's going to be an interesting election this time around. Don't be suprised if there's another terror alert or two before election day either. You know, it would be great if we Americans finally got involved in this war of ours and actually showed up on election day and voted. Wouldn't that be something? Instead of going down to Walmart and buying a flag or little yellow ribbon bumper sticker to show our commitment, this election could be a national referendum on the Iraq War and all the various factions could finally hash out just where we stand on the Middle East and America's conduct of the War and our whole foreign policy in general. Yeah, rather than surrender control of the government to the left and right wings of the respective parties, wouldn't it be great if everyone else got involved in this democracy too and showed up on election day and cast their vote and really made a statement about where this country should be headed?

Alright, just kidding. I know, I know. I hope they don't preempt Big Brother for more of that stupid election coverage too. Sheesh. Who cares.

Of Course It's Right - It's Google

I hate it when they ask questions about the Roman Empire on Jeopardy and I don't know the answer. That's the reason I downloaded "The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire Vol. 1" from Project Gutenberg a couple of months ago. It's all a part of what I call the "Gutenberg" effect. That is I go to the Gutenberg website and see all the great books I've been intending to read one day and I get inspired. Unfortunately whether it's a case of my reach exceeding my grasp or just my desultory ways, the books still sit on my PDA unread. That's part of the "Gutenberg" effect too. All those great books you're going to read if you ever manage to find the time. Let's see I've also got some Edith Wharton and some Thomas Hardy and some...

Anyways, I bring up the subject only because ebooks are once again in the news. If you've been following the Ebook story then you already know about Google, and how they've been busily scanning and indexing the world's libraries so that book excerpts can be freely available over the internet. Today that all changed when Google announced that in addition to excerpts they are also offering the entire texts of public domain books for free download at their Google Books site.

"What's this?", you say. "Free books. You mean I can get that new James Patterson book for free?"

Well, no, you can't get the new James Patterson book for free. You can get Emerson's "Essays", though, or other public domain works whose copywrite has expired. Right now the list of works available for download seems pretty skimpy, but I'm sure that will change in the weeks and months to come. However, keep in mind that what you are getting are PDF's of scanned images, with all the advantages and disadvantages that entails. What am I talking about? Let me explain.

First, PDF files are fine for sending documents back and forth, but the idea of reading an entire book using Adobe's PDF Reader software seems a little nutty to me. Is that what you want to do? Spend hours sitting in front of a computer screen paging through a 8 MB PDF file? I doubt it. Of course Adobe makes Reader software for PDA type device's so you could transfer it over and read it that way, but as anyone who's ever tried to view a PDF document on a PDA can attest that's not much of a solution.

No, I don't think most people are going to find Google Books a very pleasant experience. Of course this is Google we're talking about, and for their faithful followers they do have this aura about them, a sort of golden-glow can't-do-no-wrong quality. I bet Google could go over and crap on these people's rugs and they'd be giving Google an award and calling crap the next big thing. (Crap on the carpet? Why didn't anyone ever think of this before?)

But Google worship aside, the big problem with Google Books is that there is a much better alternative already out there. Project Gutenberg has been around since 1971 and currently offers a catalog of around 20,000 public domain books that are completely free for the downloading, and unlike Google Books, Project Gutenberg converts their books into common, ordinary text files rather than unwieldy PDF's. The process involves scanning the pages, using OCR software to convert the scanned pages into text, and then sending that text out to hundreds of volunteers to be carefully proofread for OCR errors before offering it for download.

(I should probably disclose [or boast] that I am a member of the Distributed Proofreaders group which proofreads texts for Project Gutenberg. If you are interested in volunteering just follow the link and sign up. Proofreaders proof just one page at a time, not an entire text, and it takes up as little or as much time as you want to put into it. I probably spend about an hour a month proofing, and I consider it a way of giving a little something back to Project Gutenberg which has provided me with so many books over the years.)

So with Project Gutenberg already out there providing books to millions of reader (2 million downloads a month is what they claim), who needs Google Books? To be fair, what Google is doing is focusing some attention on ebooks and the whole dream of an ebook revolution, but in reality I gave up on that revolution a long time ago. I love ebooks and carry them with me wherever I go, but I think at this point it's safe to say that the public at large doesn't want to have anything to do with them. I don't know why. In terms of portablilty and convenience ebooks are the way to go, and with adjustable font sizes they're much easier to read, especially for the more elderly among us. Most ebook readers even have built-in dictionaries which can be a great convenience. Just tap a word and get its definition.

The argument against them has always been that they don't have the romance of books. You hear that all the time. You know you ask someone why they prefer paper to electronic and they start talking about how they love to open the cover and feel the book and smell the paper and run their fingers through its pages and all that. Geez, I always thought you were supposed to read a book, not fornicate with it.

To me a book is all about the words, and it doesn't make much of a difference if their ink on paper or dots on pixels on a screen. I think the real reason people stick with paper books is so they can show them off in their library or in their office. You know what I mean. That's the only real advantage paper has over electrons. An ebook is invisible when it's there on your hard drive or storage card, but a paper book makes an impression. That's what people think anyways, isn't it? C'mon, admit it.

"My, my, did you read all those books?"

"Why yes I did little lady. I can see you're impressed."

"I'll say. You must be really smart, like a professor or something."

"Oh no, no, no. Though I have done a bit of reading."

"I'll say. I just love a man who reads. I guess I'd do just about anything for a man like that."

"Oh really... It's awfully bright in here, don't you think? Mind if I turn down the lights?"

Yep, the fact is that people just aren't as impressed with an ebook library as they are with books on a shelf. That's the real problem. But if you can live with that then ebooks are a good way to go. You do need some hardware, though.

Sony is going to be coming out with a dedicated Ebook Reader pretty soon. I think it's called the Librie and it's going to sell for around $300 to $400. Ouch. Pretty expensive, and as far as I know there are only going to be about 400 books available for it when it launches. Here's the link if you want to know more about it.

Other than that, the best ebook device currently out there is the good ol' PDA. They're not as popular as they once were but you can still find 'em, and since you don't need an expensive one to read books you can probably get by with something for $100 or less. Once you have the PDA then you need the software. Gutenberg distributes their books as plain text so any text editor or word processor can read them. All PDA's I've ever seen ship with some kind of software that will do the job. However, Gutenberg also distributes their books in the Plucker format, which tends to look a little better than plain text in most cases. Plucker is available for free from plkr.org and works on all Palm based devices. For the PocketPC you need the Vade Mecum software to view Plucker files. Vade Mecum is also free.

And that's all I have to say about that. Free books are out there, and please don't judge the whole ebook thing on the basis of Google Books. You know, it's just possible that every now and then Google can get it wrong.

Il Trittico

Twenty years ago when I bought my first opera on VHS it cost me about $18, an outrageous price at the time. Since then, as the DVD revolution has taken hold, the price for opera videos has steadily climbed to $20, then $30, $35, and now don't be suprised to find that latest operatic release selling for $45 or $50 or more. Obviously, with so many different opera DVD's out there to choose from what the world's billions and billions of opera-loving websurfers need is a free, insightful, unbiased source of DVD commentary and review. If so, then you've come to the wrong place. Instead, as my contribution to the great internet community, let me offer my own totally capricious and wholly unqualified remarks on three recent additions to my private operatic DVD collection.

Jenufa

In the end, all the audience really asks from an opera is a good story with great music and great singing. You get all three in this perfomance of Janacek's classic late 19th century opera. The highlights are Janacek's deeply moving score and standout performances from Roberta Alexander as Jenufa and Anja Silja as Kostelnicka. Best of all, at only $30 it's a great bargain as well. One of the very best DVD's in my collection and one that will be played over and over again. For extra reading you may want to surf over to this 1998 Roberta Alexander interview and her brief remarks about Jenufa.

Die Gezeichneten (The Branded)

In his day Franz Schreker was not an obscure composer, although his compositions have fallen decidedly out of favor since then. From what I hear there is a small movement afoot in Europe to revive some of his operas and expose them to new audiences. If this performance is any indication then all I can say is maybe he is one composer best left in obscurity. No, wait, I don't mean that exactly, it's just that after watching this DVD it's hard to know just what to think.

I think that there should be rating for operatic DVD's myself. Not for the operas themselves or even for the performances, but for the stage direction. Under my rating system there would be 4 designations:

"S" would be for standard, straightforward productions with period costumes and elaborate sets. The sort of thing that the Met seems to specialize in.

"M" would be for (Modern) Minimalist. Productions with nothing but a box and a chair on the stage and lots of geometric things all over the place would get the "M". Not necessarily a bad thing or a good thing. Just minimalist.

"D" would be for (Modern) Different. This would be for productions that try to add new and interesting twists to old material. Setting Romeo and Juliet in mid-twentieth century New York City, for example, with the Montagues and Capulets replaced by rival gangs. "D", if done right, would generally add some entertainment value for the audience.

and finally,

"B" would for (Modern) Bizarre. "B" would be reserved for productions that are so bizarre and strange that no one, including the singers, musicians or the audience, can figure out just what the hell is going on. Die Gezeichneten would be considered the paradigm of the "B" opera.

Which is all my way of saying that this opera made no sense. At least the way it was staged made no sense. Ok, the hero (if you can call a sexual sadist a hero) is supposed to be some kind of deformed hunchback. So naturally, you would assume he would appear with some kind of lump on his back, a la Rigoletto for instance. Instead, the director has him come out on stage dressed as a transvestite.

Huh?

It's almost unintentionally funny to see the other singers referring to this guy's nonexistent deformities and not a one of them noticing that he happens to be wearing a dress! Later in the opera when the Podesta's daughter (our heroine?) sets out to make a portrait of our hero, instead of getting out her paints she starts taking his dress off.

Huh?

I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was supposed to be going on in that scene. Sure, I know it was supposed to be a seduction scene, but it was such an awkward marriage of actions to words that instead of passion all I could muster was a loud guffaw or two. And the whole opera just continues on and on like this. I know the European audiences like their symbolism, but there comes a point where it just interferes and makes a mess of the whole thing. An interesting exercise for anyone interested in Franz Schreker, but not worth the 30 bucks.

Giulio Cesare (Glyndebourne 2005)

Ah Handel. All you baroque purists out there, all you stuffy opera loving bores are not going to like this production. What's this? Dance numbers? Comedy? In a weighty, important opera like Giulio Cesare? Good God, man, Handel would roll over in his grave.

There's a documentary included with this DVD called "Entertainment is not a dirty word" and I think that sums up this production pretty nicely. Sure, this is a time-honored classic, a baroque masterpiece and respect must be given and attention must be paid. At the same time, it's also rather long and there's really nothing wrong with adding a little entertainment to the package. After all, that's what opera is supposed to be, isn't it? Entertaining.

The star of this particular show has to be newcomer Danielle De Niese as the young Cleopatra. I read some of the feedback at Amazon.com and I couldn't believe that no one commented on the show-stopping performance she gives, not only as a singer but as a dancer and comedienne as well. She's simply the freshest breath of air I've seen in an opera in a long time, and it doesn't hurt that she's also quite a looker as well. After all, Cleopatra is supposed to be the most beautiful girl in the world and there's nothing wrong with casting someone who looks the part.

But there's a lot more going on here that just looks. The dancing, in particular, is fantastic. I think the Amazon reviewer called it Bollywood and that describes it perfectly, although I'd call it Baroque meets Bollywood instead. The production is serious when it needs to be serious, and fun when a little fun wouldn't hurt. At $50 this DVD isn't a bargain, that's for sure, but it's so entertaining that I'm sure you won't mind spending the money. Buy it. Highly recommended.

Ageless and Evergreen

Turn back the clock about 40 years on the Santa Clara Valley and you'd have something eerily close to present day Yakima, Washington. To tell you the truth it's a little unnerving. Main Street Yakima has the same feel that San Jose's San Carlos Street used to have. The apple orchards of Yakima bring back memories of the Valley's walnut, prune and apricot orchards, and Yakima even has world class wineries just like the Almaden, Paul Masson and Mirassou wineries that Santa Clara Valley once had.

Add to that the similar climates--warm, mild days followed by cool nights, with Yakima boasting about it's 300 days of sunshine a year, and it really does feel like stepping through a portal to the past. I never would have guessed in a million years that I'd find my childhood again right smack dab in the middle of the Pacific Northwest, but that's what it feels like. Well, not my childhood exactly, but perhaps another glance at the world I grew up in.

Needless to say I like Yakima. I left there this morning on US 12, first driving west past apple orchards and then along the banks of Tieton River and Rimrock Lake up to White Pass. I think it's fair to say that I've driven a lot of roads in America, both east and west and north and south, and in my experience westbound US 12 out of Yakima has to be one of the prettiest drives I've ever taken. It ranks right up there with the Colonial Parkway in Virginia, the Natchez Park Traceway in Mississippi, and of course Highway 1 along California's Pacific coast.

I wish I would have stopped to take some pictures but I was enjoying the drive so much that I just couldn't bring myself to stop. Of course driving it early on a sunny Friday morning meant I had the whole road practically to myself, which definitely makes a big difference. Anyways, coming down from Hope Pass I made a right turn at WA Rte. 123 and began the awe inspiring ascent to Mt. Ranier, where I spent most of the day today.

Mt. Ranier is basically a hiking park (much like Olympic National Park), which means that if you want to get anywhere to see the sights you're probably going to have to hoof it. Keep in mind also that Mt. Ranier is also a mountain, and a rather tall and vertical mountain at that. Now I try to walk everyday and go hiking when I can so I'm not a completly out of shape couch potato, but some of these trails, trails rated moderate I might add, are real lung burners. I went to a place called Paradise and got winded just going from the parking lot to the visitors center (and I wasn't the only one, either. I passed some other people bent over and sucking air along the way).

Rainier is really for the young and fit, and it's probably a good idea for us older folks to bring a cardiologist along if we plan to do anything more rigorous than a visit the gift shop. You think I'm kidding but that's what kept going through my mind today as I was climbing up some of those long, steep slopes. "Has anyone ever died going up this trail?" I thought. "Am I gonna have a heart attack out here?" Believe me, the thought will enter your mind. Trust me on this.

Other than that Ranier is a majestic looking mountain which, unfortunately, is a victim of it's own geography. Namely, it's proximity to Seattle. Even standing at the base it's hard to see the mountain through all the smog that drifts over from the population centers to the west. For those who want to see just how bad the air quality is up there the Park Service has even put out a little machine at the visitors center that continuously monitors the ozone level at the mountain. A healthy ozone level was around 6 as I recall, and the reading on the machine when I was up there was a very unhealthy (bordering on dangerous) 94. That might have a lot to do with my breathing problems today. Anyways, here's a link if you don't believe me.

And that's all I have. Washington's getting too crowded for me so I think I'm gonna head south. I pulled into Seattle today and passed a traffic jam that must have been at least 30 miles long. It ran from Sumner all the way north to Bellevue. Luckily I was going in the opposite direction, but it's always the same old story everytime I come to Seattle. Traffic, traffic, traffic, traffic, traffic. I don't how these people put up with it. They got rid of the Kingdome, I give 'em credit for that. Now if they could only do something about all this traffic and pollution.

Anyways, it's time for me to head back to California so I'm outta here.

Across The Great Divide

Let's face it. Dick Cheney and I are two very different kinds of people. He is ruthless, conniving and stern, while I am merciful, insouciant and forgiving. "Live and let live" is what I say, "You'll pay for this you dog" says Cheney. So isn't it strange coincidence that we should live such different lives and yet both arrive in Kalispell, Montana, of all places, on the very same day. I'm here because I need a place to sleep, and he's here to campaign for some local Republican.

Of course the Kalispellians are excited to have the VP in town, partly because he's the VP but also partly because he's a westerner like them. Cheney was sure to point that out too, in case anyone forgot. They didn't forget. They understand Cheney and he understands them. For example, when an easterner, say a New Yorker, hears that Cheney has accidentally shot his friend in the face with a shotgun he is horrified. "What's wrong with him?" he asks. When a Montanan hears that Cheney has shot someone in the face, however, he just shrugs his shoulders and says "Yup. I've done that."

Anyways, Cheney came and gave a speech and left, but I'm going to stick around till tomorrow morning. Had quite a drive through western Montana today with all the rain and wind and lightning and such. The storm is actually good news for the drought-stricken people who live here, but it kinda put a damper on my day. They haven't had any rain up here for quite a while and so, of course, as soon as I show up the skies start to darken and the storms start moving in.


The rain started to fall around the time I got to Helena and continued while I went up north through Great Falls and Shelby and on into Glacier National Park. Not a great day for hiking or picture taking but a good day for weather watching, especially the lightning storm that came moving into Kalispell this evening. Awesome, dude.

So I think I'll head west tomorrow. Try to get behind this storm front. Who knows, maybe I'll run into Cheney again.

All I Ask is a Good Camera and a Star to Steer Her By

Welcome to Butte, Montana, famous for it's copper mines and as the home of both Martha Raye and the largest superfund site in America. I don't believe there's a connection. (Does anyone remember Martha Raye?)

Had a great drive up from Salt Lake City today through some of the most desolate and remote country in the entire U.S. of A. Along the way I stopped in Idaho to see the Mesa Falls just outside of Ashton, Idaho.

Finally found a hotel with Hi-Speed Internet that actually works so I thought I'd post a few pictures. Yeah, I know, you're all just dying to see my vacation pictures. Well, here goes.

Okay, the first snap is the Hope Fork of the Snake River running through Southeast Idaho. As you can see the weather was perfect. The exposure was a little tricky, though. I'd say a good 3 to 4 stops between the trees and the top of the water in the lower left. Someday I'll have to learn how to use Photoshop so I can fix this stuff.



This next one is Upper Mesa Falls. I seem to have a thing for waterfalls, don't I? This one is particularly beautiful. Did a little better with the exposure too.



Another shot of Upper Mesa Falls.




And last but not least is this one of Lower Mesa Falls. Unfortunately, they don't let you get too close to this one, but it still makes for a pretty picture.



Well, there you go. I shot a video and posted it to Youtube but unfortunately I can't include embeds using blogger. The link is here if you're really bored and want to see it. It's real short.

If you want to see these falls for yourself just take the Mesa Falls Scenic Bypass off of US 20 and follow the signs. You can view Lower Mesa Falls from an overlook just down from the parking lot, and it's an easy hike over paved trails and wooden stairs to see Upper Mesa Falls. Don't know where I'm headed next, but I think I'll keep going north for a while.

Oh The Wayward Wind

Greetings from Salt Lake City, the, uh...I don't know, salt capital of the world? The dust and wind capital of the world? The crud on your windshield capital of the world? It must have some kind of nickname. Let me Google it. Hang on, just a minute...

Welcome to Salt Lake City, the "crossroads of the west". I suppose that means that of all the places where roads cross, this is westernmost, but I'm a bit skeptical. It's where a couple of roads cross, but there's nothing particularly western about them. I suppose the nickname has more to do with the completion of the transcontinental railroad at Promontory, Utah back in 1869. In that case it's not really a crossroads at all, is it? It's more of a junction, but who wants to be known as the junction of the west? Just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Anyways, here I am in the Beehive State and as of this hour I haven't seen nary a bee nor hive. I've seen sand, mountains, and a few Mormons, but bees have been peculiarly scarce. Why am I here you ask? Of all the places a person could be why would he want to be in Salt Lake City? Because, dear reader, once again I have felt a restiveness invading my soul and have decided to gas up my car and go for a drive. A long drive, as it turns out, with no particular destination in mind nor any timetable to meet.

If you think this confirms that I've finally gone off the deep end let me assure you that I went off the deep end long ago, and let me also add that this is not the first time I've gone for a long drive, nor, as it turns out, am I the only one who likes to do it. It seems that Sean Penn, the movie actor, also likes to take long drives, and we all know how balanced and well-adjusted he is.

But who needs a reason? I just like the freedom of getting in my car and going, and have taken many long drives back and forth across the U.S. and Canada. I know some people get bored in the car, but not me. When you fly someplace you always know where you're going and when you're going to get there and when you have to come back, but on a car trip you're not always sure where you're going or how long it will take getting there or when, if ever, you'll feel like returning. You could go north, you could go south, or, like me, you could just go east and wander around for a while.

And that's why I'm in Salt Lake City--The crossroads of the west.

I brought my camera but haven't taken any pictures yet. If you've ever driven across northern Nevada and western Utah you'd know why. I mean, c'mon, sand is sand and sagebrush is sagebrush. What's to see? Tomorrow I think I'll head north, though, up towards Glacier and Yellowstone and that area and maybe post a few shots from up there. Or I could go east towards Wyoming and Nebraska.

But then I've been to Nebraska. I think I'll head north.

Other than that it's been a pretty uneventful trip so far. Reno is Reno, Winemucca is Winemucca and Elko is...actually, my uncle Gaery used to own some property in Elko back in the late 60's or early 70's. My family all thought he was crazy because back then Elko was just a little spot in the middle of nowhere with a couple of gas stations, some motels and restaurants, and a bawdy house down by the railroad tracks. Not exactly a prime location, but he was sure it was going to pay off someday.

Unfortunately, Uncle Gaery died around 1974 and I don't know what happened to the property. I'm sure it went to somebody in the family and they probably sold it. Too bad if they did because I couldn't believe how much it's grown since the last time I saw it. They've got shopping centers and a Walmart and new houses built up on the hill and new roads and it's just unbelievable how much the place has changed. I think he only paid a couple of thousand for the property and now it must be worth a hundred times that. Guess he wasn't so crazy after all, and if someone in the family does still hold the Deed then I hope they don't realize what it's worth and remember me in their will.

Well, that's all I have for tonight and wasn't this a boring post. "What I did over my summer vacation." Sheesh, have I been reduced to that.

Can't Get There From Here

Kind of a personal blog tonight. It was six years ago last week that my mother died -- August 3, 2000. That's her in this picture taken on Mt. Hakodate sometime back in the 80's. The dashing fellow standing to her right is my dad and that dishevelled, derelict looking ne'er-do-well to her left would be me.

Maybe I should explain a little more about the picture.

First about my mother. I know it looks like we just woke her out of bed when this picture was taken but that's actually not the case. She's gone now so I guess she won't mind if I mention this. For many years my mom suffered with MD (Muscular Dystrophy) and, like many people with her condition, as she grew older she had a hard time getting around. She didn't like people to know about it and tried to hide it as best she could, and you would never catch her using a cane or wheelchair unless absolutely necessary. If you look closely you can see she's standing rather stiffly and both my dad and I have got our hands on her back to kind of prop her up a little. Believe me, if we weren't there to hold her she wouldn't be standing the way she is. Anyways, she was a real trooper to pose for this picture because believe me, it wasn't easy.

As for me and my appearance I have no such excuse. Let me explain about the jacket. You see we had travelled all the way from my mom and dad's place in Tokyo on this particular day, and when we left Tokyo Station that morning it was hotter than blazes (and humid too). The last thing I expected when I got off the train was 15 degrees. Needless to say I hadn't packed any kind of sweater or coat, and when we arrived in Hakodate the only thing I had to keep me warm was this ratty old windbreaker thingy you see me wearing in the picture. Believe me, if I knew it was going to be that cold up there I would packed something a little more GQ. Oh, and in case you're wondering the answer is no. There is no way I'd ever get that thing zipped around that fat belly of mine.

Which brings me to the fat belly. I should probably explain that too. The train ride from Tokyo to Hokkaido (Japan's northernmost island) was simply amazing. We took the bullet from Tokyo Station all the way up to where the line ended in Aomori, the northernmost city on the main island of Honshu. I had bought one of those Japan Rail passes when I got to my mom and dad's place in Tokyo, and without checking with my dad first I bought the first class type (the green pass, I think). Well, it turns out that mom and dad couldn't afford to ride first class all over Japan so they got stuck back in coach while I was travelling in first class. It was ok, though. They didn't mind and it gave me an opportunity to sort of mingle without the benefit of an interpreter.

Anyways, there I was luxuriating in first class and stretching out in those nice comfortable chairs they give you, and I got so comfortable that I forgot to go back to the dining car to get something to eat. In fact, once I removed my passport from my back pocket so that it wasn't digging in to my rear end I was feeling real comfortable. I just put the passport in the little magazine pouch and stretched out and aahhhh...fell asleep.

When we got to Aomori my dad woke me up and told me we'd have to hurry up to catch the train to Hakodate. I was looking forward to this part of the trip because the train from Aomori actually leaves the island of Honshu and travels under the Tsugaru Straits through the Seikan Tunnel on it's way to Hakodate on the island of Hokkaido. Up until the completion of the Chunnel over in Europe, the Seikan Tunnel had been the longest tunnel in the world. When my dad told me we'd have to hurry that immediately got my attention. I got up, grabbed my little overnight bag, followed him out onto the platform, followed him down the stairs and under the tracks, and then back up the stairs to the platform to board the Hakodate train. As we boarded the train it was at that precise moment that I realized...

Well, I had about 2 minutes to sprint back down the stairs and under the tracks and back up the stairs to the bullet train and into the car where the little magazine pouch with my passport was, and then sprint back out of the bullet train and across the platform and down the stairs and under the tracks and back up the stairs to catch the train to Hakodate. And I mean I was sprinting. I must have looked like Desmond Howard returning a kickoff as I was ducking and weaving my way through the crowd and straight-arming anyone who got in my way, all the time yelling "Chotto mate! Chotto mate! Pasuportu, pasaportu! Chotto mate!".

And (whew) I made it.

I got onboard the Hakodate train with my heart racing at about two hundred beats per minute, sweat running down my back and into my underwear, and as my stomach began to growl I suddenly realized that I hadn't eaten anything since dinner last night. I was sitting there in the train gulping for air, throat dry, and starving. As the train began to roll on it's way two things immediately came to mind: First, riding a train through a tunnel isn't all it's cracked up to be. I mean a tunnel, even the longest tunnel in the world (at that time) is really just a big hole in the ground, isn't it. Anyone who's ever ridden BART under San Fransisco Bay will know what I'm talking about. One minute it's light and scenery is going by the windows, and the next minute you're in the tunnel and it's dark. And it stays dark for a long, long time, and there isn't a whole lot to see. Big deal. I could just lock myself in the closet if I wanted to look at blackness all day.

My second thought was that if this little train didn't have a dining car I was going to have to start gnawing on the furniture. I got up to look around and sure enough--it had seats and it had bathrooms, but no dining car. So that was that. I was going to have to spend the next hour or two riding in this big black hole with nothing to look at and nothing to eat or drink. Well, almost. Luckily, about halfway through the ride someone came around selling bentos and water, so I scarfed down one of those but it just made me hungrier.

Which takes me back to the picture. The first thing good thing that happened to me after my debacle in Aomori was finding myself in Hakodate. For those of you who might not know it, Hokkaido is famous the world over for it's fresh seafood. My mother was born and raised in Hokkaido so she knew all about the food, and it wasn't long before we found a little restaurant and she suggested I try the curried shrimp. I ordered up a big old plate of the stuff and, just like mom said, it was mmmm mmmmm good. Spicy curry and a strangely sweet tasting shrimp. I thought maybe they sugared them but mom said the shrimp up there were naturally sweet. I was too hungry to argue so I ordered myself another plate of shrimp instead.

And that explains the picture. (By the way if you've read this far then congratulations. I would have stopped around paragraph two). After I stuffed myself it was dad's idea to go up to the top of Mt. Hakodate and look at the view. I would have just as soon gone to a hotel somewhere where I could lay down and digest, but dad wanted me to go up to the mountain and see the view. (And by the way, I don't usually make a pig of myself at mealtime but when you have a chance to enjoy the local cuisine I say go for it. Who knows if you'll ever be back there again. Right?). So off we went to Mt. Hakodate and that's the reason for the bulging belly. At the time the picture was taken it was full of about 20 pounds of shrimp.

But I don't want to talk about that, I want to talk about mom. She looks real tired in the picture but believe me she was pretty excited that night. She was born in a little village about halfway up the coast between Hakodate and Sapporo, and she was glad to back where all her family was. That's why I like this picture so much. It's not really such a great picture photographically speaking, but I like remembering how happy she was to see everybody and, yeah, to show me off a little too. I hadn't met any of her family before or been to her hometown, so I know she got a kick out of parading me in front of all her relatives. I just wish we could go back and do it again sometime.

Six years and I still can't believe you're gone. It doesn't feel like it anyways.


I told you this was going to be kind of a personal blog.


TIP* Just so this whole post doesn't get too maudlin and sappy I thought I'd leave a little tip. If you ever travel to Hokkaido the one absolute thing you must do is try the Chankonabe at the Kitanofuji restaurant in Sapporo. It's a great big bowl (more like a bucket really) of fresh seafood from the local waters, and I mean all kinds of seafood - shrimp. scallops, fish, crab, on and on and on, all served up like a stew in an absolutely delicious steaming hot broth. It's also the meal of choice for Japan's Sumo wrestlers, and the restaurant was in fact founded by a former Sumo wrestler. Of course it's been about 15 or 20 years since I was back there so maybe the restaurant isn't there anymore, but it should be. When we went my Japanese cousins played a little joke on me by telling me to order the chankonabe, and when the waiter came back and placed this big ol' bucket of food in front of me they all had a big laugh. We ended up sharing about two orders between the five of us and even that was a little too much. Give it a try, you'll like it, and then head out to the Susukino to sing a little karaoke. That's the way they used to have fun up in Hokkaido.

Dead Cat's Nightmare #25

(I walk into the coffee house for a cup of coffee. A young girl is sitting at a table by herself)

"Hi, mind if I sit down?"

"Help yourself."

"Boy it sure is a hot one out there, isn't it?"

(no reply)

"Yeah, nice 'n cool in here though. I thought I was gonna burn up out there on the street. How hot is it? Must be in the 90's."

(no reply)

"So, I guess you probably came in here to get outta the heat too."

"What?"

"I said it sure is hot out today."

"Yes, it is isn't it."

"Of course some people like the heat but not me. No sir. Give me that nice cool..."

"Look, I don't mean to be rude or anything but I'd really like to read this book right now. So, if you don't mind?"

"No, no, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your train of thought. I'll just sit here and drink my coffee."

(silence)

"So, what're you reading?"

"What?"

"I said what're you reading? Mind if I take a look...Hmmm, 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra' by Friederich Nietzsche. Wow, that's some pretty heavy stuff."

"Oh, have you read Nietzche?"

"Who me? Well, no, but the name is familiar."

"Yes, I see."

"What's it about?"

"The book?"

"Yeah. 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra', is that some kind of greek play or something?"

"It's about nihilism and the meaningless pain of existence, just like the pain you're giving to me right now."

"Oh, sorry. Sounds interesting though. I guess I shouldn't interrupt you while you're reading, huh?"

(no reply)

"Say have you ever read Preston/Childs? I'm reading one of their books now and it's great. It's about this guy Pendergast you see, and he has this brother that's trying to kill off all of his friends. Like this one guy, a college professor or something like that. Well, his brother gives him this poison one day before he goes to class and then right there in the middle of the lecture the poison hits him and he starts convulsing and screaming and trying to pull his eyeballs out. Out of their sockets, you know? Right there in front of the class and then...well maybe I shouldn't tell you that part so I don't spoil it."

"Yes, perhaps you better not. Now, please, if you don't mind."

"Hell of a read, though. You should pick it up sometime. I mean, after you finish the Nietzche of course."

"Yes, I'll have to do that."

"So, what do you do when you're not sitting in coffee houses reading Nietzche?"

"I'm a musician."

"A musician? You mean like in a band or something?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Is it anyone I've heard of?"

"I'm a concert musician. I play concerts."

"Oh, how interesting. Where do you play?"

"Tokyo, London, Carnegie Hall."

"Carnegie Hall? Hey, didn't the Rolling Stones play Carnegie Hall once?"

"I'm not..."

"Do you know Mick Jagger? I mean did you ever meet him?"

"No, I don't know Mick Jagger. Sorry. If I ever run into him, though, I'll tell him you said Hi."

"Heh, you're just joking with me, aren't you. 'You'll tell him I said Hi', heh-heh, that's a good one. "

"I'm sorry, you seem like a nice guy and all but..."

"What kind of music do you play?"

"Concertos, Sonatas, that sort of thing."

"Oh, so you're a classical musician. Like Andre Rieu or something like that."

"Something like that. Yes."

"Oh I get it. You know I know a little bit about music. That thing, what do they call it? That thing with the lines and...the staff, that's what they call it. You know the staff?"

"What about it?"

"E G B D F. Right? Am I right? E G B D F. Every Good Boy Does Fine. Right? I learned that back in the 4th grade in Miss Quade's class."

"That's very good. You're quite the musicologist aren't you?"

"And F A C E. That's the spaces. You know how you remember that. 'Space' rhymes with 'FACE'. She taught us all that stuff."

"Well isn't that clever. Remind me to write that down."

"Yeah, so you see I'm not a total ignoramus when it comes to music. In fact..."

(Just then a big, beefy six-foot six guys in a tank top and basketball shorts walks in, sees the girl and walks up to the table)

"Hey, there you are. Where've you been?"

(the girl at the table turns and talks to him)

"It's about time you showed up."

(I turn and smile)

"Hi, I'm Tony."

"And I'm Biff and this is my girl so why don't you take a hike you old fart."

"Old fart? Who are you calling..."

"I said take a hike, grandpa. What's the matter? Did you lose your hearing aid or something?"

"Oh Biff, leave him alone. He isn't hurting anyone."

(Biff turns back to her)

"He's bugging me. Christ, where'd you find an old bag 'o bones like this anyways. "

"We were just having a nice conversation about this book I'm reading."

"What book?"

"This one. See."

"What? Thus Spoke Zair a thrust ra by Fry'd Rich Nye It Zzz Chay? What the hell is that?"

"It's German, and it's Nietzche not Nye It Zzz Chay."

"Oh, it's German. Excuse me"

"Don't be such a dork. You know there are still some people in this world who actually read books. Not everyone just sits around and oils their muscles all day. "

"Books? Who needs books when I got you, baby."

(Biff gives the girl a playful poke and then continues)

"C'mon, let's get out of here."

"No. I want to finish a couple of more chapters."

"How long will that take?"

"I don't know. An hour maybe."

"An hour. Baby, I can't wait that long. I got things to do."

"Well, go do your things then. I want to stay in here where it's cool and finish a couple of more chapters."

(Biff gives her another playful poke, and another, and another. The girl starts to giggle)

"Stop it, Biff (hee hee). I mean it. Stop poking me (hee hee hee). You're being a jerk."

"A jerk? That's not what you said last night."

(Biff pokes her some more and I begin to feel a little nauseous)

"Biff, I'm warning you. You better stop (hee hee hee). Biff. No. Stop. (hee hee hee). Biff."

"C'mon. You don't need to finish that book now. Let's go."

(the red faced girl closes her book and grabs her purse, then pauses to look at me)

"It was nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too. I hope you enjoy the rest of your afternoon."

"Good luck with your music lessons or whatever it was you were talking about."

"No, I'm too old for music lessons. You know I open the refrigerator door and half the time I can't even remember what I came to get in the first place. How am I going to able to remember all those notes."

"Yeah, well...enjoy your coffee. It was nice talking to you."

(Biff turns to me)

"Yeah, enjoy your coffee and better luck next time grandpa. Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha..."

(they leave the coffee house and the waiter comes over to the table)

"Say do you know who that was you were talking to?"

"No. Who?"

"I don't know, but I hear she's really famous."

"Oh well, she seemed nice."

"Yeah. She's been in here before. Hey, you weren't trying to hit on her were you? A man your age. I thought you'd be too tired to go chasing after young chicks like that."

"Let me tell you something young man. Someday you'll be old like me and yes there will be many things in this world that will make me tired. You'll get tired of getting up in the morning, you'll get tired of the noise and the traffic, you'll get tired of climbing stairs and standing in lines, and going to the doctor and taking pills and watching what you eat all the time. You'll get tired of oatmeal. You'll get tired of the crime and the violence and the greed and the whole world going to hell in a handbasket. You'll get tired of many, many things, but I promise you one thing you'll never get tired of is the sight of a pretty girl."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, but at a certain point you just got to let it go, don't you. I mean, who wants to be a dirty old man."

"You let it go, not me. Imagine the world without pretty girls. What a pitiful place that would be. Nothing to do but live out the meaningless pain of existence. Have you ever read Nietzche?"

"Nah. But the name is familiar."

It Must Be Love That's Got Me Singing

Just a real short post tonight. I was boppin' around the net the other day and I came across the cover for Hilary Hahn's new Paganini/Spohr CD (to be released in the fall). All I can say is

WOW!!

Looks like our little child prodigy is all grown up and ready to turn a few heads. I'm telling you, if I was only 20 years younger. Or would that be 30 years. 40 years? Nah, now wait a minute, I'm not that old...

Anyways, if there is any love advice I would give to our young beauty it would be not to get involved with any Greek millionaires. That's what happened to Maria Callas, you know, and look what happened to her (trust me Hilary, it didn't end well). Nope, my advice would be to pass on the millionaires and find a starving writer, or blogger even. An American, someone living out on the West Coast perhaps. Not one of those handsome, young, athletic studs that leave trusting young girls lonely and brokenhearted, but someone older, with a more mature perspective. Yeah, that's what you need. A mature, slightly broken-down West Coast blogger. Someone like...

Well, since Hilary isn't updating her website anymore I guess I might as well bring everyone up to speed. According to this article in the L.A. Daily News her next recording after the Paganini/Spohr could quite possibly be a Schoenberg/Sibelius CD. A strange combination to be sure and quite a risk for a successful recording artist to take. In fact, according to an article I read some time ago (which I don't have a link for) Hilary Hahn is just one of a handful of classical artists whose CD's consistently sell over the 100,000 mark. The others were Yo-Yo Ma and Renee Fleming and Joshua Bell and a few more whose names I can't recall off the top of my head.

Now the 100,000 mark might mean that much to a pop artist, but it's very good for a classical artist, and for someone enjoying that much success to release a Schoenberg CD takes some guts. Needless to say, Schoenberg is not very popular in America and not the sort of thing the local symphony is likely to include in their concert schedule. There is more than a good chance that Hilary could really bomb with this one. I guess it's a measure of her clout(?) over at DG that this CD could ever see the light of day.

But I'm looking forward to it. I happen to love both pieces and I even read a rave review of her London performance of the Schoenberg so I can't wait to hear it. As for the Sibelius, well, we shall see, we shall see. It doesn't seem like the sort of piece that suits her, but she's got loads of talent and, after all, this is the new Hilary (see picture above).

Other than that there doesn't seem to be much else happening. She's performing the Mendelssohn tomorrow night in Hollywood and I guess that's a good thing. I've got to admit, though, I never really liked her Mendelssohn as much as the other things she's recorded. Somehow, it didn't seem to have the drama that it needed. It's such a familiar piece of music that it almost demands an extra bit of hamminess to pull it off. I'd suggest (I'm just full of advice tonight, aren't I) that she needs to be a bit more of a diva if she's going to play it. You know, maybe she could walk backstage and throw a fit or demand a bigger dressing room or insult the orchestra or something like that. Just be a drama queen. Start throwing things and then when she walks onstage she'll be in the proper frame of mind to play the Mendelssohn.

Well, it's just an idea.

Let Me Just Rain on Your Parade

It was a momentous weekend here in the Bay Area as we were visited by not one, but two of the most powerful men in Great Britain today. I'm speaking of course of Prime Minister Tony Blair, England's preeminent politician, and Adam "the Podfather" Curry, the primal force behind the podcasting movement currently sweeping the globe. Personally, I thought it unwise to have both of Britain's biggest wheels in the same place at the same time where one earthquake could put them both be out of action, but evidently the empire is safe and the home fires still burn in Albion tonight.

(Excuse me if I seem a little distracted right now. There is a helicopter and a couple of low flying planes buzzing overhead. Seems there must be a fire around here somewhere. I just hope it's far, far away)

So where was I? Oh yeah, podcasting

(Great, now I smell smoke. Crap! I'd appreciate it if you didn't burn my house down please. Thank you)

Turns out podcasting isn't the fad the everyone said it was. The trickle of data that is starting to appear, like this article from Marketwatch, seem to indicate growing audiences and the possiblity of podcasters making real money, even millions of dollars. Hmmm, I think most podcasters would be glad to see a hundred or so roll in every now and then, but who knows maybe they could be making millions someday. It's certainly a major concern among podcasters and at next month's Podcast Expo monetizing and advertising and getting some coin in the cashbox is sure to be a hot topic.

But you know me. I can always find a cloud in any silver lining and so what I really want to talk about are some of disturbing trends I'm beginning to see in podcasting today. Like, for instance, the glut of tech related material in the podosphere. Seriously, do we need another tech podcast? If so, do we need another tech podcast that just regurgitates and reiterates the same thing a thousand times over? In some ways the podosphere is starting to show some of the same closed-loop, self-referential tendencies of the blogosphere, where everyone is hyperlinked to everyone else and ideas just go around and around and around in a perpetual and vaguely indistinct state of buzz. Granted, the podosphere is still miles ahead of the blogosphere in terms of unique, original content (this blog, of course being the exception. Although worthless, I think most would agree it is nevertheless original), but as the number of podcasts grow it seems the available content is getting stretched thinner and thinner. At least in the tech podcasting space.

Let me cite an example of what I'm talking about. Two or three weeks ago Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska gave a speech about the internet and why the big Telco's that he serves need to increase their rates for certain kinds of traffic. The speech was recorded and posted on the internet and immediately generated howls of laughter from the geek community as Sen. Stevens tried to explain to his audience the inner workings of the internet. Someone tried to send me an email, Sen. Stevens explained, and I couldn't download my internet because the pipes were clogged.

Well, the podcasting community went bonkers, and for about a week you couldn't listen to any tech related podcast without the same speech being played over and over and the host(s) all making smartass remarks about Sen. Stevens ingnorance of how the wired world operates. Of course those smartass remarks got folded into the mix as well and pretty soon all you could hear on any of the geek podcasts was the endless drone of Sen. Stevens echoing back and forth with all the mandatory and attendant giggles. What was truly ironic in the midst of all this cacaphony and evidently lost on the geek world was that in the end it isn't important for Washington to understand how the internet works - it's important for the internet folks to understand how Washington works, a fact that will be brought home soon enough to all those giggling geeks when they see the new telecom legislation making its way through Congress.

But my point is that in some areas the podosphere is in danger of becoming just one big echo chamber. It's not there yet - far from it, but the danger is there, and after all isn't that what we're trying to avoid? Doesn't that fit the perception of big media we all have, of a swarm of locusts all chasing the same fad or scandal? Isn't that why audiences have embraced podcasting in the first place, as a place to escape the bombardment of popular news and entertainment and explore different avenues and areas of interest? If I was giving the keynote at the Podcasting Expo that would be my topic. Is there anyone in this room speaking with his own voice or doing anything different, or are you all just a bunch of hyperlinks?

Anyways, there are lots of podcasts that have nothing to do with technology or the internet or Sen. Stevens, and there are still plenty of people doing different things. I'm hoping that's the nature of the beast and will always be so, just as long as the podosphere doesn't let the geeks take over. It's a great medium and I even tried doing a podcast for a while until I discovered that I kind of sucked at it and that there were other podcasters doing the same thing I was, only much better. I also discovered that podcasting, like radio, is a two-way communications medium. In other words, you can't just send it out there and expect the minions to hang breathlessly on your every word . You need participation and feedback coming back at you to make it work, and I never really got the hang of that.

But I'm listening to how the pro's do it, and if a new podcasting idea ever pops in my head I'd love to have another crack at it. Provided that the new podcasting idea is something original, of course, and not just more geekspeak.

Grapes of Wrath Pt. II (The Pinot Noir Edition)

"Jim. Hey Jim, over here."

"Who's that? Why...why...why I'll be damned. If it ain't Tom. Tom, how 'ere ya'?"

"Ok, I guess. What are you doing out here Jim? Shouldn't you be in church, it being a Sunday and all."

"Nah, I ain't a preacher no more. Nope. I don't need no saviour no more. Ain't got no use for one no how. How 'bout you Tom. Are you...you know, out? You didn't do run away, did ya'?"

"Nah, I didn't run. They paroled me early. Gave me twenty dollars and a bus ticket and sent me back home. Say Jim, you seen my ma and pa? The house looks kind of deserted."

"They're over at the neighbors I reckon. Anyways, this ain't their house no more. Bank took it last week."

"The Bank? What fer?"

"Same reason they took all these houses 'round here. No jobs, no money, no way to pay the mortgage. It's the same all over California."

"Well if that don't beat all."

"It's the heat that done it. Turned the whole state into a desert."

"Sure feels like a desert alright. Look Jim, I'm gonna go over to the neighbors. It's been a long time since I saw ma and pa. You wanna come with me?"

"Alright. Sure. But just remember I ain't no preacher no more. Ok?"

"Don't make no difference to me. Seems kind of funny though, seein' how you was always preaching at us when we was little kids. But suit yourself."

(Tom and Jim walk to the neighbors and catch up with Tom's family)

"Hi Ma."

"Ma? Who's that calling me...Tom? Is that you? Oh Tom. I can't hardly believe it. Is that really you?"

"It's me alright. Great to see ya' Ma. Let's have a look at ya'."

"But what are you doin' here Tom? Shouldn't you be in...? Oh, you didn't run away did you? You promised me you wasn't gonna do that."

"No Ma, they let me out early. You see, I got the papers right here. They give me a parole and twenty dollars, just 'cause I never gave 'em no trouble."

"A parole? Oh Tom...I've got to tell Pa. Pa, come out here. Come look who's here. Pa, where are ya?"

(Tom's father comes out of the house)

"I'm right here. What are you yellin' about?"

"Look who's here."

"Henry Fonda?"

"No, it's Tom. Don't you even recognize your own son."

"Tom, but I thought you was in...When did you get out?"

(Tom turns to talk to his father)

"Couple of days ago. I went to the house but all I found was the preacher."

"I told you I ain't no preacher."

"What happened to the house Pa?"

"Bank took it. That note we signed, you know the one I told you about. That 40 year adjustable reverse amortization interest only prepayment penalty balloon mortgage we used to buy the house. Well, seems the interest rate went up and the bank told me I had to come up with 2 million dollars or they'd foreclose. "

"2 million dollars for a $400,000 house? That don't seem right."

"We'd a been ok if the interest rates hadn't gone up. But where were we gonna come up with 2 million dollars? What with this 10 year heat wave we've been havin' and no electricity on account of all the power plants bein' broken, and no jobs on account of there ain't no electricity. This whole state is just turnin' into one big dustbowl, Tom. That's all it is. Just a big bowl of dust. I told the man we didn't have the money and so he come back a few months later with a piece of paper saying the house was his now and told us we had to vacate the premises."

(Pa's neighbor Muley walks up and joins the conversation)

"Piece of paper? Piece of paper? It ain't a piece of paper that make it your'n. It's eatin' in it, and spillin' food on the carpet in it, and watchin' TV in your underwear in it that makes it your'n, and not no piece of paper."

(Muley walks away, having had his dramatic moment. Pa turns to Ma and speaks)

"Well, if you ain't got the paper then it ain't yours. That's what the law says anyways. Ain't that right Ma?"

"Don't worry Pa. We'll find some other place to live. What about them flyer's that feller was handin' out?"

(Tom interrupts)

"What flyers?"

"Show him Pa."

"Here Tom, take a look. It says that up in Canada there's plenty of work."

"Canada? But ain't it kind of cold up there?"

"No, not since the global warming. It's all different now. This feller with the flyers said that up around Hudson's Bay it's all beach resorts and condominiums. Says there's plenty of work building houses and hotels and shopping malls. What'd he call it Ma? Oh, that's right. Called it the new Riviera."

"Well gee Pa, how ya' gonna get up to Canada."

"We'll buy a car and drive, I guess. You know can buy them old SUV's real cheap now that gas is up around $50 a gallon."

"Well how much would one of them SUV's cost?"

"There's a feller in town selling his ol' Lincoln Navigator for fifteen bucks. Reckon we oughta be able to come up with 15 bucks, don't ya' think?"

"They gave me 20 dollars when they paroled me out of jail. I guess we could use that. But what are we gonna do for gas?"

"Just have to sell off our things along the way. Besides, we still got our credit cards. They can take our house but by God no one's gonna take our credit cards. Ain't that right Ma?"

"That's right Pa. We're Californians Tom, don't you ever forget that."

(So the family piles into the SUV and heads north up to Canada. Just outside of Calgary they stop into a fillin' station)

"Where you folks headed? You ain't headed up to Hudson's Bay I hope."

"Well yeah, that's what we was plannin' on. Gonna get jobs."

"Uh-huh. Got one of 'em flyers too, I'll bet."

"You mean like this one right here?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Heh, I must've seen a million of those by now. Look folks, you look like nice people. Do yourselves a favor and go home. There ain't no work up in Hudson's Bay. They been handin' out them flyers all over California just so could they could drive down the wages. You know, find someone desparate enough to do the work for less than the other fella' is making. Believe me, you'd be better off if you just went home."

"Whaddya mean there ain't no work? The feller told us..."

"I know what he told ya' and I'm tellin' ya' there ain't no work. Go back home, before you get hurt."

"Can't go home. Ain't got no home to go back to."

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you."

(The family continues on to Hudson's Bay. Soon the road is crowded with broken down SUV's, all with California plates. Outside the towns angry mobs carrying clubs and waving signs tell them to keep moving or else. Finally they find a work camp just outside of Churchill)

"You folk's looking for work."

"Yeah."

"How many of you are there?"

"Five of us, if you count my ma and my sister. My sister's pregnant though, so she can't do any heavy lifting."

"There's a construction site about ten miles from up the road. Pay is 15 cents an hour. Be ready to go at 5:00 am sharp or we'll give your spots to someone else."

"Fifteen cents an hour? Why, a fella can't even live on that."

"Take it or leave it. 5:00 am sharp, you hear."

"Yeah, we hear ya'. Geez Ma. Fifteen cents an hour. That won't even pay the rent on the cabin."

"Don't worry Tom. We'll take this job for now until something better turns up. It'll be ok, you'll see."

"I hope you're right. We come an awful long way for fifteen cents an hour."

(Later that night Tom hears footsteps. He steps outside and sees deputies armed with billy clubs walking through the camp)

"Can I help you officer?"

"Who are you?"

"Name's Tom. "

"Tom huh. You one of those troublemakers we been hearing aboat? "

"No, I ain't making no trouble. I'm just here to work that's all."

"What're you doing outside your cabin Tom?"

"Thought I'd stretch my legs a little before I turn in, that's all. Is there a problem?"

"Yeah, Tom. You're a problem. You and all these other Californians. Who invited you up here anyways?"

"No one invited us. We just thought that..."

"You just thought what? That you could come up here and cause trouble? C'mon boys, let's take him in."

"Hey wait a minute. I ain't done nuthin' to..."

(Tom feels something crack across his skull. At the taste of his own blood he flies into a rage and kills one of the deputies. In the confusion that follows he slips off into the night. Later he makes his way back to his cabin where Ma is waiting for him)

"What happened Tom? What'd they do to you?"

"They tried to take me to jail, Ma, but I wouldn't go."

"What'd you do? Something terrible I'm guessin'."

"I had no choice. They was gonna arrest me so I..."

"Shhh, Tom. I know you wouldn't have done it 'cepting you had no choice. What are we gonna do now?"

"We gotta get out of here. Right now. They're searching the entire camp."

"Ok, I'll wake everyone up and tell 'em we're leaving. But Tom, don't you say a word 'bout what happened tonight. Ok?"

"Sure Ma, I won't say anything."

(They hide Tom in the SUV and make for the front gate. They tell the guard they've found jobs at another work camp and the guard, although skeptical, let's them pass. Further down they road they come upon a government camp. It is well-kept and clean and the family gets their own cabin. Behind the camp walls the police can't touch them and soon they get good jobs for good wages and have even managed to put a little money aside for the future. The family feels like real people again. One night, however, vigilantes from a nearby town who are angry about immigrants stealing their jobs begin marching on the camp. Tom runs into one of the vigilantes under a bridge and kills him. He sneaks back to the camp and says one last farewell to his Ma)

"I gotta go now Ma."

"But where, Tom. Where are you gonna go? You know they're out there looking for you."

"Let 'em find me, I ain't afraid. Besides, I never gave no one no trouble less'n they give it to me first. You know that Ma."

"I know Tom, but I'm worried about you. Where'll you go, what'll you do?"

"I'll go someplace where people are treated like people, not like dogs. Where a man can live decent. Where he can sit in his hot tub and sip his chardonnay and it's nobody's business if he does."

"Like we did back in California. We was people then, wasn't we? Before the global warmin' came that is."

"Yeah, we had stock options and home equity back then, but now we're nothin'."

"But Tom, how will I know what's happened to you. Won't I ever see you again?"

"You'll see me, Ma. Everytime you see a man so swollen with thirst that he can't open his lips to drink his frappucino, I'll be there. Everytime you see a man so bankrupt that he can't afford the electricty to charge his Ipod, I'll be there. Everytime you see someone so destitute that he can't even afford to cruise to the beach in his SUV, ..."

"While talking on his cellphone?"

"Yeah ma, while a talking on his cellphone, I'll be there. I'll be there 'cause I'm the people. Maybe Jim was right. A person ain't got a soul of his own, only a piece of a bigger one."

"I'm worried about you Tom."

"Don't worry Ma. I'll be alright. Don't worry about a thing."

(Tom leaves and his mother begins to weep. Pa comes out and stands beside her)

"I miss the ol' place Ma. I miss California and my barbecue and my big screen TV. Don't you miss them things too?"

"No Pa, I think I like it fine right here. I think I'm gonna like Hudson's Bay. Rose of Sharon's gonna have her baby and we'll get a new start up here where the air and the water is clean and it ain't 105 degrees inside the house everyday. Yep. I think I'm gonna like it here just fine."

(And so they leave their California home behind, settle in the promised land, and live like people. The End)

Joy, Fun, Seasons in the (blistering) Sun

Keeping in mind songwriter Steve Goodman's admonition that "It ain't hard to live with somebody else's troubles", let me just say that it's been hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, HOT around here. Yeah, I know nobody cares and besides, it's been hot everywhere this summer, but this is my blog and I'll whine about the weather if I want to.

Truth is, when it's this crazy hot all you can think about is the heat. War, famine, economic collapse -- geez, those things can wait. Right now all I care about is a cool breeze. Unfortunately it's been about 2 weeks since we've had one of those, and the way I see it at this point only one of two things is going to happen. Either this heat wave is going to break or the sun is going to run out of hydrogen, and since this heat wave seems intent on staying put I'm placing my money on the sun.

So how hot is it I hear the blogosphere asking. Well, today we finally got a bit of a cooldown here in San Jose as the temperature dropped below the triple digits, that's how hot it is. Of course people are talking about global warming and I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I always thought global warming was about the glaciers melting and sea levels rising and all that sort of thing. I don't recall them mentioning that the famous Bay Area fog bank was going to go away or that California was going to become Arizona. And you know what? When you get right down to it I don't want to live in Phoenix, and I resent not having a say in the matter. But that's what's happened. Looks like Mohammad wouldn't go to the mountain so the mountain...well, you know the rest.

Anyways, what else is going on. Let's see. Seems Israel and Lebannon...aw forget about it. It's too hot to blog. On the weather report last night they showed satellite photos of a big bank of fog just sitting there off the coast of California and poised for an inland push that would bring cool relief to the millions of sweltering but appreciative Bay Areans. And there it is, all that fog, just SITTING THERE! NOT MOVING!!! It's cruel, like showing a glass of water to thirsty man and then dangling it just outside his reach. Not even nature can be that cruel, can it? No, of course not. The fog should get here before too long and even tonight, as I sit outside and tap away on my computer, I can feel just the faintest hint of breeze push over my arms and along the back of my neck. Oh, if only I could fall asleep and wake to a cold fog streaming through the Golden Gate, putting a nasty chill into my bones.

(sigh)

Maybe by this weekend. Until then we bake, and if this is that global warming thing that everyone is talking about then I just wish that Al Gore or whoever is responsible would stop it. I got to get some sleep, man.

Oh, and about all this stuff happening in the Middle East. I think what we need to do to get this situation solved is send over Sharron Angle. Who's she? ? Well, she's running for Congress over in Nevada and I happened to catch one of her TV ads when I was up at Lake Tahoe. It wasn't really much of an ad until the very end where she promised that if elected she will "Stop the terrorists." Yeah, that's her campaign promise. She even put it up on the screen so everyone could see it. Elect Sharron Angle and she'll stop the terrorists.

Whew. I'm glad that problem's solved.

Dead Cat Searches the Want Ads


"Good afternoon."

"Hello. Uh, good afternoon."

"May I help you?"

"Yes. I'd like to be a terrorist."

"A what?"

"A terrorist. I heard you were looking for new recruits and I'd like to be a terrorist."

"I think maybe you have the wrong office."

"No, no. This is the place. A friend told me to come here."

"And this friend. He is CIA?"

"No. Not at all"

"I think maybe you are CIA?"

"No. Honest. I want to be a terrorist."

"MI-6?"

"Are you looking for terrorists or not? Because if you aren't I'm sure there's someone else down the street who'll want me."

"We are a highly secretive organization. Do you think we can't just let anyone walk in off the street and become a terrorist? Surely you can understand?"

"I want to wear high explosives and blow myself up."

"Yes, yes, of course you do. I understand, believe me. (sigh) Ok, I don't believe you are not CIA. And you are eager. Maybe I can be of some help. You say you want to be a terrorist. What are your qualifications? Do you have any references or prior experience?"

"References? No one told me I'd need references."

"Well, would you characterize yourself as ruthless? Sadistic? Brutally indifferent?"

"I don't know. I..."

"Intolerant? Fanatical? A slave to ideology?"

"I...uh...I..."

"Do you like to read Ann Coulter?"

"Why no."

"Too bad. Perhaps you are not the right type of person to be a terrorist."

"But..."

"Why do you want to be a terrorist anyways? What is your motivation?"

"To bring death to the infidels?"

"Yes, yes, but besides that. Why do you come here today? Is it power you seek?"

"No. I don't think so. "

"Is it fame? Your picture on TV?"

"No. Well, yeah, sure, that would be nice. I guess..."

"Is it martyrdom? Is that what you're after?"

"Yeah, that's it. Martyrdom. I want to be a martyr, you know."

"What do you know about martyrdom? Tell me."

"Well, it's like my friend was telling me. You blow yourself up and you get to be like a hero. And everyone praises you, and..."

"Yes."

"Well, my friend said that you get to sleep with 70 virgins."

"Uh-huh. The virgins. I thought so."

"Is it true? Do they really let you sleep with 70 virgins if you, you know, become a martyr."

"Well, not exactly. If you die a martyr then God will give you 70 virgins and 70 wives and everlasting happiness."

"You mean in heaven?"

"Yes. Of course."

"Oh, my friend didn't tell me that. You mean you gotta die first before they let you sleep with the virgins?"

"What did you think? You must die a martyr and then God will give you 70 virgins and everlasting happiness."

"Well that's a bunch of crap. Isn't there anyway I can sleep with the 70 virgins before I blow myself up?"

"No. How is this possible?"

"A loan, maybe. You know, like sleep with the virgins now and pay later. Can you do that? Can you get the virgins on credit?"

"You must die a martyr and then you will get the virgins. That is how it is written, that is how it must be."

"I see. Well that kind of puts a damper on things. So tell me. How can I be sure I'll get the virgins once I'm a martyred? I mean, is there a guarantee? Can I have it in writing?"

"It is God's word. That is enough."

"Yeah, right, well that's that I guess. How about this? Can I sleep with one virgin before I blow myself up? Just to see if I like it. "

"No. To do such a thing would be a sin against God. The Imam forbids it. We would have to cut off your head if such a thing were to happen."

"Alright, alright. Doesn't hurt to ask."

"A martyr's rewards will come to him. It is God's word."

"Ok, let's say I do decide to become a terrorist. What then?"

"We will train you and tie a bomb around your belly and send you somplace to blow yourself up."

"Like where. Where will you send me?"

"I don't know. London, Paris, America perhaps."

"America?"

"Yes, America."

"Ok, now I know you're BS'ing me. "

"What are you talking about?"

"You're going to send me to America, to be a martyr, so I can sleep with 70 virgins. Dude, where are you going to find 70 virgins in America?"

"The virgins will be in heaven, you stupid...Look, maybe you wouldn't make such a good terrorist after all. Please don't take offense but perhaps this is not a job for someone like you. "

"You got that right. I admit it sounded like fun at first, but geez, you didn't tell me I'd have to find 70 American virgins. Man, by the time I do that I'll be to old to be a terrorist. Listen, whatever you're name is, let me ask you something. What are you trying to accomplish with all these suicide attacks anyways?"

"Accomplish? Hah. Don't you see? The people tremble in terror and fear our wrath. The world will have to answer to our holy cause or suffer the consequences."

"Funny thing about that. See, I don't think the world is trembling in terror. I think right now the world is drinking a beer and watching football. Sure, you make the evening news but after the news is over the world just keeps getting fatter and richer while you hide out in bunkers and safe houses scared to death that someone's going to recognize you and drop a bomb on you. Seems to me like you're the ones living in fear, not them."

"This is jihad. We will not rest until the world gives us justice and surrenders to us all it's wealth and power."

"And you seriously think that's going to happen."

"Even if it takes one thousand years."

"And in the meantime you're just gonna keep blowing yourselves up."

"Yes, this is a holy cause."

"So is peace. So are mercy, tolerance and forgiveness."

"You do not understand. Please, do me a favor."

"Yes?"

"Read Ann Coulter."