I Love You California

Greetings from California, where the Labor Day weekend is behind us and election day is just around the corner. In case you forgot that the elections are coming the President made sure he reminded us with his biennial "terrorist scare" speech today. "We are not safe" he told us, "so let fear be your guide when you go to the polls and cast your vote." (Ok, he didn't say that second part, but the subtext was clear)

Honestly, I don't know how long the Republicans can keep playing the pre-election terrorist card before voters start to catch on. Geez, now they've got the public so panicked that there are people out there actually worried that someone is going to bring down a 747 with a tube of toothpaste. Could happen, I guess, but seems a little farfetched to me.

Instead of panicking everyone I think what the airlines should do is take a page out of Great Britain's playbook and install security cameras in the airplanes. And I mean everywhere. Every seatback, every aisle, and every bathroom should have a little cc-camera watching the action. That way, a security officer in the front of the plane can scan all the activity in the cabin, and as soon as he sees someone pull out a bottle of water or reach for a Ipod (BAM!) two goons come running down the aisle and wrestle him to the floor. Pretty good idea, huh? And you won't need to stand in some long security line anymore. Just get on the plane, find your seat, keep your hands in plain sight where we can see 'em, don't make any unnecessary movements, and we'll all have a nice, safe, comfortable flight.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about the elections. We're in the home stretch here in California and I think even the Democrats have given up on poor old Phil. Not completely, mind you, but there just doesn't seem to be much enthusiasm over in the blue camp for the Angelides campaign. I've blogged about this before and I don't want to beat a dead horse. Let's just say...

You know what he reminds me of? He reminds me of a career bureaucrat. In the commercials they try to make him look commanding and purposeful, but no matter how you try to package it he still has that aura of a supervisor at the DMV. You know what I mean?

"Hey Phil, you got change for a dollar?"

"Sorry, I can't do that. I'm not allowed to handle money."

"Huh?"

"I can't do that. If you want change for your dollar you'll need to fill out Form TTDCL998-R at the information desk and take it over to window 97."

"Window 97? You mean you can't just give me change. I've got to go to Window 97? The one where the line goes halfway out to the parking lot?"

"No. You need to fill out the Form TTDCL998-R at the Information desk and then you go to Window 97 to get your change."

"Form what? TCD898 dash what? Where am I supposed to go?"

"TTDCL998-R. You get it at the information desk. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, you've been a great help. Thanks a lot, Phil. You know all I needed was a couple of quarters for the parking meter."

"Window 97. I'm sorry, but rules are rules."


Judging by the number of TV ads being run, the real election issue out here in California seems to be the Proposition 87 oil production tax. If you want me to explain it I can't, although I can give you this link if you want to read it. Basically, what the proponents want to do is put a tax on oil production that will pay for research on alternative fuels. Prop 87 also provides that the cost of the new tax cannot be passed on to consumers. In other words, a real win-win situation for California. We get controls on the price of gasoline and we also get to beat up on the oil companies at the same time. Why didn't Secretary Bodman think of that?

Unfortunately, I'm not buying it. The problem, it seems to me, is that making gasoline refined in California more expensive only provides an incentive for gasoline distributors to buy their gas somewhere else. Why pay more when you can go out of state and pay less? That's usually what happens when you try to implement price controls, and I'm not saying Prop 87 has real price controls, but it comes awfully close. It's been my experience that when the government tries to tell an industry what they can charge for their product what you get is shortages and pent-up demand.

But who knows, maybe this'll work. It certainly has a lot of voter appeal and a Field Poll that came out last month had it well out in front. Either way, regardless of what happens elsewhere, I expect gasoline in California will remain expensive for some time to come. Which will all lead us to where we should be going in the first place anyways, i.e., more fuel efficient cars. There's a novel idea. Maybe that should be on the ballot. Prop 289 - The "If Your Sick of High Prices then Quit Driving that Gas Guzzler" Initiative.

Well, with all this turmoil going on it's going to be an interesting election this time around. Don't be suprised if there's another terror alert or two before election day either. You know, it would be great if we Americans finally got involved in this war of ours and actually showed up on election day and voted. Wouldn't that be something? Instead of going down to Walmart and buying a flag or little yellow ribbon bumper sticker to show our commitment, this election could be a national referendum on the Iraq War and all the various factions could finally hash out just where we stand on the Middle East and America's conduct of the War and our whole foreign policy in general. Yeah, rather than surrender control of the government to the left and right wings of the respective parties, wouldn't it be great if everyone else got involved in this democracy too and showed up on election day and cast their vote and really made a statement about where this country should be headed?

Alright, just kidding. I know, I know. I hope they don't preempt Big Brother for more of that stupid election coverage too. Sheesh. Who cares.