Hopefully My Only Post On This Subject

October is fire season in California, and perhaps the worst fire in Northern California history occurred 15 years ago last October 20 just north of here in Oakland California in what was called "The Oakland Fire". That fire, fed by dry, gusting winds and low humidty levels eventually consumed over 15oo acres, destroyed almost 2500 houses, and took 25 lives.

So it should come as no suprise that we Californians start to feel a little nervous when late fall comes around and the humidity levels drop and hot, dry easterlies begin to blow. Which just so happens to be exactly the conditions the Bay Area is experiencing today, and it's also the reason I'm feeling so anxious right now as I look at a billowing cloud of brown smoke blowing southerly across the hilltops just to the east of my house.

Something's burning.

In fact, I'm writing this post right now with my eyes on the computer screen and one ear cocked to the TV to listen for any news. According to the reports, there is a fire is about 5 miles northeast of where I live and there are winds blowing north to south with gusts up to 25 miles an hour. That's good news for me because the fire would have to burn almost due east to threaten the homes in my area. Needless to say, winds can be fickle and shift directions on you and there are still a lot of concerned neighbors around here, although I must say the smoke seems to have died down in the past 10 minutes or so. I don't know if that means the fire has been put out or just that the winds have just changed. I'm hoping it's just a small fire and it's starting to die out because, damn, I don't want the house to burn down.

Ahh, this California living. If you can't handle earthquakes and fire then move somewhere else. Earthquakes you can handle because they're so unpredictable, but fire - you can see it happening and there's nothing you can do about it. Earthquakes happen and then they're over but fires just creep along. Very hard on the nerves.

Wait a minute there's something coming on the news. Ok, the fire has burned 200 acres and 1 house has been damaged. The firefighters say they've got it surrounded, whatever that means. I don't think it means they've got it contained or else they would have said "contained". Besides, with these winds all it takes is a gust of wind to sweep some burning embers over a ridge or into some trees and the whole thing can get out of control in a hurry. In fact when the Oakland fire happened the firefighters thought they had the fire out and were just mopping up when the winds started picking up. As we know now the fire wasn't out and pretty soon the whole hill was on fire.

Oh man, I'm not liking today at all, and the news is another Red Flag alert for tomorrow. Geez, that means more high winds. Sometimes California just sucks.

Warp Factor Nine

So my Mr. Coffee machine broke down after I had it for about 20 years and I had to go to the store and buy a new one and I was going to get a Senseo because that's what all the podcasters use but I got to the store and the only Senseo they had was this really ugly red one and I wasn't going to pay $70.00 for an ugly Senseo so I bought a Keurig B40 instead since it kind of works the same way and I brought it home and tried it out and it's really neat because instead of just dripping the water through the coffee grounds it uses a pump and forces the water through the grounds which brings out more of the coffee flavor and tastes real good and since I like to drink a big mug of coffee when I drink coffee I made a big mug of coffee even though I had to use two of those little K Cups that the Keurig machine uses and it tasted really good except that it seems like when you pump the water through the coffee grounds you not only get more flavor but you also get more caffeine as well or at least that's the way it seemed because after I drank my mug of coffee I got really really wired and I couldn't sit still so I cleaned the house and worked on the yard and cleaned the gutters and re-painted the living room and put on a new roof and added an extra bedroom and remodeled the kitchen and then I still had all this energy because of all the caffeine that the Keurig machine pumps out of the coffee grounds so I called up the Dalai Lama and asked him if he'd like to discuss world peace and he said sure so I put on my shoes and walked over to Tibet and we discussed like Korea and Iraq and all that stuff and it was really fun and then on the way home I decided to swim across the Pacific Ocean instead of walking back to California and so I did and it was really fun but when I got back I was still really really wired from all the caffeine in that mug of coffee I drank so I decided that in the future I probably shouldn't drink so much coffee if I'm going to use the Keurig machine and so now I drink just regular cups and it's still seems to have a lot more caffeine than the coffee my Mr. Coffee used to make but that's ok because I really love my Keurig B40 and I think you will too.

A Short Podcasting Primer

We're speaking today with Tony Myers, creator and host of the highly innovative Old Man Radio podcast. Hailed by the critics and winner of numerous awards, Tony Myers has recently put the finishing touches on podcast number 12. He took a few minutes to speak with Dead Cat.

DC: Tony Myers, welcome. What's a podcast?

TM: Well, it's really just an audio file that can be downloaded from the internet.

DC: And played on an Ipod?

TM: No, you don't need an Ipod to play a podcast. You can play them on your computer or any portable audio device, or just burn them to a CD if you want to.

DC: A CD? Can you play CD's on an Ipod?

TM: No, I was just using that as an example. You see you don't need an Ipod to listen to podcasts. There are a number of different ways to listen to them.

DC: What if I don't have an Ipod. Can I still listen to podcasts?

TM: Like I said, you don't need an Ipod to listen to a podcast.

DC: How does that work exactly?

TM: There are a number of different ways to listen to audio files. You can listen to them on a computer, or a...look, never mind.

DC: But if I have an Ipod can I still listen to podcasts?

TM: Yes. Of course you can.

DC: Well I don't have an Ipod but let's say I wanted to listen to podcasts, what kind of an Ipod should I buy?

TM: Can we change the subject?

DC: Is there some special software I need to buy in addition to an Ipod before I can listen to podcasts?

TM: Can we please change the subject? You're starting to annoy me.

DC: Sure, but I just want to be clear on this. If I don't have an Ipod and I want to listen to...

TM: If you ask me one more question about Ipods I swear I'm going to get out of this chair and beat you up.

DC: Fair enough. Let's talk about your podcast. What kind of podcast is it?

TM: It's a music podcast. I don't have much of a life so I like to spend my free time surfin' around the net for free, downloadable music. It's what we like to call "Podsafe" music, meaning that it can be played royalty free on podcasts. When I find something I like I save a copy of it, and every now and then I gather up 6 or 7 of these songs and turn it into a podcast. Where I differ from most of the other music podcasts is that I don't play any headbanger music and I don't stick to any particular genres. I like to call it the best podsafe music from the quiet side of the internet.

DC: Sounds pretty dull to me. Does anybody actually listen?

TM: Yeah, suprisingly enough I do have some listeners. When I was turning them out on a more or less regular basis I had around 300 subscribers. Unfortunately, I let things slip and lost most of those listeners. It's a phenomenon called "Podfade", and a lot of podcasters have run into the same problem. The initial enthusiasm just sort of runs its course and then it becomes harder and harder to keep to any regular kind of schedule. Still, I'm suprised that even though I went about 8 months without putting out a podcast, I still got about 100 downloads on my most recent episode, and that's without any kind of promotion at all. It's amazing when you stop to think about it, and really shows that there is an audience out there just looking for something different.

DC: If you don't promote your podcasts then how people find them?

TM: That's what I've been asking myself. Of course, a lot of podcasters do promote their podcasts and have much larger audiences than mine. Hundreds of thousands, in fact. I don't how they find mine, though. I try to list myself in all the major directories, and fate just takes it from there.

DC: Have you thought about promoting it? Wouldn't you like to have a larger audience?

TM: Not really. Look, I'm just podcasting for the fun of it, and I certainly don't have any illusions about any potential bonanza's I might reap from it. Truth is, I'm not really a media type. That's not my personality at all. I mean podcasting is great if you're the type of person who really wants to break into showbiz and do some shtick. All you need is a microphone and a computer. I'm just happy that a hundred people out there like the music I'm playing, that's all, and I'm really not looking for fame and fortune. I'll probably do a couple more and then call it quits.

DC: And do what? Another podcast?

TM: Yeah maybe, or maybe I'll just keep posting to my blog. I enjoy that a lot more than podcasting anyways.

DC: You mean this blog?

TM: Yes, that's right.

DC: Don't you think it's a little strange that you're doing an interview with yourself on your own blog?

TM: I've done stranger things.

DC: Yes, I know.

TM: Yes, you would know, wouldn't you.

DC: What do you see as the future of podcasting? Is it just a fad?

TM: No. I've blogged about this before. The first step in podcasting was like the "proof of concept" phase. Just seeing if it could be done and working out all the little details. The next step was the "empire building" phase, which I believe is happening right now. Large podcasting conglomerates are emerging as podcasters find it necessary to spread out their costs and build reliable delivery mechanisms. You have to do that in order to promote and get accurate numbers that can be taken to potential advertisers. Once the conglomerates are in place then I think the "conquer the world" phase comes next. That's where the podcasters begin to challenge the big radio and TV companies and the "new" media gradually begins to replace the "established" media. That's still a long ways off, but I think that's the plan. Of course, after that, then it will just be a matter of time before someone else becomes the new "new" media, and it'll be their turn to try to topple the "old media" podcasting empires. Hmmm..., I wonder what that technology will be.

DC: Any guesses?

TM: Not a clue.

DC: Well thank you for talking with us tonight.

TM: My pleasure.

Lord I Was Born a Ramblin' Man

The strange thing about doing this blog is that I'm never really sure if anyone's reading it or not. If you're a real writer with a job at a magazine or a published novelist or something like that, then you can naturally assume a certain number of readers, but unless a blogger checks his stats he never really knows for sure if anyone's reading, and I never check my stats. I find it takes a lot of the pressure off if I just assume that there's no audience. No need to be interesting or relevant if it's just you typing away in cyberspace, and if someone is unlucky enough to have their browser land at this url then that's their problem, not mine.

So with that in mind I thought I'd just ramble on tonight. I don't really have anything in particular on my mind, and since no one reads this crap - who cares? So let's start, shall we? Let me just see what's making news.

Well, as you may have heard the Oakland A's lost a close, down-to-the-wire league championship series to the Detroit Tigers. It was a real nail-biter alright, and other than the A's inabilty to pitch, hit or catch I thought they played a pretty good series. Kudo's to the A's, and too bad they didn't play a best of nine because I'm sure they could've taken the Tigers for five straight.

Ok, enough of that. Let's find some happy news. Over on Wall Street things have been looking pretty good lately. There have been quite a few new highs on the Dow, and the Nasdaq and S&P have been improving as well. That's good news for me. At least now I don't have to down a bottle of Scotch before looking at my brokerage statement each month (actually I don't drink. I just thought I should make that clear in case any future employers might be reading this...) In fact my nest egg wasn't growing and I was beginning to worry there for a while. You know things are bad when planning for the future means testing out grocery carts and reconnoitering local parks and bridges for any that might fit future retirement needs. No need for that anymore. The market is picking up a little, and it looks like I just might have enough scratch be able to retire to that little dream hovel in the tenements after all.

Sure is a load off of my mind.

What else can I talk about. Hmmm... They had a debate up in Sacramento last weekend, and yeah, I actually watched it. Truth is I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff. You know, Lincoln-Douglas, Kennedy-Nixon, Schwarzenegger-Angelides(?).

Anyways, it wasn't a real debate. It was more like a chance for Angelides to prove that he was a real gubernatorial candidate and not just some guy at the door taking tickets. How did he do? Well, rather than answer that directly I'll just read you this little item from today's Murky News. Seems that Willie Brown, a very well known Democrat in this state, speaking at a luncheon in front of a mostly Democratic audience, declared that Schwarzenegger would win the election "no matter what". What was really strange, though, was that Brown had invited Schwarzenegger to speak at the luncheon, but had not sent an invitation to Angelides.

And that's how well the debate went. I mean, even the bigwigs in his own party don't want to vote for him. I'm no political scientist but that doesn't smell like victory to me.

Like I said, I watched the debate and it went pretty much as expected. Arnold, the incumbent, did his best to look cool and in command while Angelides accused him of ruining the state and destroying lives and pretty much everything else short of kidnapping the Lindbergh baby. I could have almost felt sorry for poor Phil if it wasn't for the fact that he kept pissing me off with all of his talk about "the working people."

I mean, there's Phil Angelides, pockets full of money sent to him by the various Public Employee's Unions around the state, taking a stand for the "working people" of this state, "working people" being his codeword for public employees. Geez Louise, does this guy think that people in the public sector are the only ones who work for a living? How about the rest of us? The ones who don't have guaranteed pensions and lifetime health benefits and cost-of-living adjustments. What does he think we do all day? Sit around the pool making eyes at blondes in bikinis? And besides, have you ever been to the DMV? Do those people look like they're working to you?

Aaaahhh, it really started to make me mad after a while, this whole Angelidian notion that the role of government is to raise my "non-working people" taxes so that we can pay ever-escalating benefits to Phil's poor, beaten-down "working people." That's his real agenda - more money for his union backers. He thinks he can get it by soaking the rich, and while I'm all for soaking the rich I know enough to know that it's the folks in the middle who usually wind up taking a bath. All I can say is if Angelides wanted to alienate me as a voter then he did a pretty good job of it. As far as I'm concerned, Jessica Simpson has a better chance of winning the Nobel Prize in Physics than Phil Angelides has of getting my vote in November.

Grrrrrrr politics - it always puts me in a bad mood.

One last thing and then I'm calling it a night. I was watching TV the other day (or was it the other week?) and this show came on the History Channel called "The History of Sex." Now, dear readers, this is the History Channel we're talking about. I always figured that if you have a channel called "The History Channel" then you're gonna have shows about historic things like great battles, or social movements, or important figures, or things like that. But "The History of Sex"? Are you kidding me?

Anyways, as far as I'm concerned the very fact that The History Channel has to pander and pimp for an audience with shows like "The History of Sex" goes to the very heart of what's wrong with this country. I'm not sure what that is or why, but it's gotta be central to whole problem, whatever that may be. And besides, don't people already know the history of sex? Let's see, first Eve bit the apple, and then people have been doing it ever since. Doesn't seem like much of a show to me (but I'm gonna Tivo it just to be sure). Can't wait to see what series they come up with next. Maybe "The History of Hemorroids" or "The History of Post Nasal Drip".

Now that's some TV worth watching.

Butterfly

The new Hilary Hahn CD is out and getting lots of buzz around here at the Dead Cat offices. Ok, it's more "tiny room with desk and chair" than "offices", and the "buzz" is really just me and my unqualified opinions, but still it's always exciting when HH's fall release hits the stores. Here are a few first impressions.

Before I begin I should probably say that I never really liked the Paganini Violin Concerto No. 1. I certainly don't hate it, but it's always seemed like just a "show" piece to me, and a "show" piece is a bit like a juggler keeping 7 knives in the air at the same time -- it's exciting the first time you see it, and then it starts to feel stale.

I've heard this concerto a few times before and even have the Perlman Edition loaded on my MP3 player, but it never made much of an impression on me. I don't know why. It's certainly dazzling, and that's what you want from Paganini isn't it? After all, when you go to the park on the Fourth of July it's because you want to see the fireworks, isn't it? Of course it is, and when you 're jonesing for some bow-blasting, finger-bending, scroll-shivering pyrotechnics and razzledazzle, then you put on the Paganini. I understand that. He's just not one of my favorites, that's all.

On the other hand, HH is one of my favorites.

The place to begin with this CD is the booklet. For those of you who bought this on Itunes, well, tough luck. If you're going to buy classical music then you really should be buying CD's anyways, not only for the improved audio quality but also for the printed materials contained therein. Be that as it may, in the booklet HH talks about the Violin as Voice, and about the operatic qualities of both the Paganini and Spohr concerti. Ok, I thought, I've listened to the Perlman version and heard nothing operatic at all in the piece, but she's obviously spent a great deal of time thinking about this, so I'll go with it.

Then I gave it a listen.

If you're unfamiliar with the Paganini Violin Concerto No. 1 let me explain a little about it. It opens with a rather long introduction full of cymbal crashes and orchestral bluster. After all the noise stops, it settles down to quiet hush and waits for the star violinist to make his/her grand entrance and captivate the audience with his/her virtuosity and brilliance. Then, for the next 35 minutes or so it's just one big thrill ride as the soloist performs one challenging feat after another, each seemingly more impossible than the last, until finally dropping dead on stage with hands and fingers a broken, bleeding, mangled mess (it is considered good form on the audience's part to withhold their applause until after the paramedics leave.)

On this CD, however, you have to forget all that. HH wrote that she saw the piece as operatic, and, you know something, as much as I like to be disagreeable and critical, I totally bought into it. She's right. This isn't a violin concerto, it's bel canto, and from the moment HH makes her entrance she is completely in the scene, displaying a glorious singing voice and superb diction--razor sharp, in fact. After listening to so many lesser violinists over the past year, I can't tell you how good it is to hear that clarity and precision again; a precision she carries through the entire piece with nary a stumble or a wobble.

Yes, she's right. This concerto is opera, or can be if approached the right way. I'd been listening to the Perlman CD, and I'd say his approach is more as a figure skater than opera singer. First you do your triple toe loop, and then you sort of glide around to catch your breath before moving on to the double Lutz. It's all "one trick to the next" and just doesn't have flow of HH's recording.

The Perlman CD also doesn't have her playing, and that's probably the most important difference of all. What's immediately obvious to anyone who has followed HH's career is that this is not the work of a prodigy. This is the work of a mature and talented artist at the top of her game, and has to make people wonder whether she just might be emerging as the preeminent musician of our time. I know that sounds like hyperbole but I honestly can't think of any other violinist out there right now who communicates such a total control of the instrument as HH does. Sure, audiences all have their favorites, but just listen to her interpretation of this piece. It's unique, confident, intelligent, insightful, artistic, expressive, and yes, dazzling as well. It's all there. Everything you look for in a great musician; it's all there.

Anyways, there's also a Spohr concerto on the CD and it's not nearly as impressive as the Paganini, at least not after 4 or 5 listens. It's kind of unfair, really. After hearing her play the first piece you almost have a feeling like there are no more mountains high enough for HH to climb, and then comes the Spohr, which isn't bad, but doesn't seem to have the aspirations of the Paganini. I'm sure I'll be listening to this CD for some time to come, so maybe I'll have something to say about the Spohr then.

(like anyone cares)

Short and Sweet

Yeah, I know it's silly. Still, we'd love to see Tony LaRussa back here in the Bay Area. Or Willie Randolph, for that matter.

Too bad about them Yanks, though. Heh, heh, heh... 50 trillion dollar payroll and they couldn't even make it to the League Championship Series. Sheesh. Time to fire the manager, I guess..

Anyways, that's what's happening around the Bay. Been a while since we had a World Series champ out here, and lord knows we'll all be dead and in our graves if we gotta wait for the Giants to win one, so I guess it's up to the A's to continue the tradition. 1972, 1973, 1974, 1989...2006? We're overdue.

New Kids On The Block

Well, we all know what the big news was this week, and, as usual, you heard it hear last. No, I'm not talking about perverts in Washington, and no, I'm not talking about psycho's with guns, and no, I'm definitely not talking about the latest Bob Woodward book which apparently has the country reeling with its' revelation that the folks running the war in Iraq are totally out to lunch.

Stop the presses!!!

I don't want to blog about any of that. In fact, if you really want to read something revealing about the Iraq War I'd suggest a book called "Blood Money" by T. Christian Miller instead. Despite the horrible title it's actually a pretty interesting read about our efforts to rebuild post-Saddam Iraq. Of course, if you're one of those happy taxpayers who isn't much concerned with how your tax dollars are being spent and trusts that those folks in Washington will keep careful tabs over every penny you send them, then this book is not for you. On the other hand, for those of you living in the real world and wondering just what has happened to all those hundreds of billions of dollars we've been spending on this little nation building adventure of ours, the book will answer at least some of your questions.

Believe me, it ain't pretty.

It is interesting though. For example, have you ever wondered what a bunch of eskimos has to do with a Southern California telecomm company getting a contract to build a cellular phone network in the middle of a Middle Eastern desert? Me neither, until I read the book. (Hint: Eskimos=Alaska=Sen. Ted Stevens=Pork Barrel politics=No bid contracts=? Well, you figure out the rest.)

But that's not the news of the week. The big news is that the Metropolitan Opera is going Digital!!! Yep, the Met sent me an email announcing that they now have their own channel on Sirius Satellite Radio. And, if you've been paying attention, you'll know that the Met has also announced that they'll be doing live simulcasts of some of their operas at selected movie theaters around the country, and that they will also be offering archival recordings of past "Live From The Met" performances on the Rhapsody Music Service. And, as if that weren't enough, there are rumors of still more digital ventures to come.

So what does all this mean? Does it mean that Sirius listeners will be abandoning Howard Stern for Placido Domingo? Does it mean that teenagers will be telling their parents that instead of a birthday party they'd rather go to the opera with their little brothers? Does this mean that America is finally ready for fat women with big voices?

Yeah, probably.

No, just kidding. However, it might mean that the old farts who are running things in the arts world are finally catching on to the fact that the audiences of tomorrow aren't just passively listening to their radios anymore. It might mean that they realize that if you want to reach those audiences then you have to go where they go. That is, you have to be on their computers and their Ipods and their satellite radios and wherever else the technology is taking them.

Of course, when I talk about opera or the arts I'm not talking about the mass audience. Unfortunately the mass audience is not very interested in the arts, particularly the performing arts, and most particularly of all the musical arts. I suppose that's because of the peculiar nature of music and it's strong influence on a person's social identity. I don't mean to get all anthropological on you here, but I've always felt that musical tastes are intricately linked with tastes in clothes, and friends, and language, and just culture in general. A love for Shakespeare, for example, doesn't necessarily dictates what a person wears, but a love for a certain kind of music can, and often does.

Anyways, it's unlikely that classical music will ever reach the mass audience, at least not in the age of mass media and mass culture and the three minute song. That's ok, classical music doesn't need to reach the mass audience, but it does need to reach a new audience. Every art form needs that if it is to survive, and that's why I'm so excited that the Met has decided to have a presence in this new digital age. Just being there and reaching out to those looking for something musically meaningful and satisfying is important, and I feel confident that once a person discovers opera and listens to it, they'll become a lifelong fan.

How large an audience? Hmmm, that's another question. I would hope that the Met would take advantage of this opportunity and try new things instead of being tied to the past, but I know that audiences here in the U.S. aren't always eager for new music and might revolt if things get too modern. Then again, I was young once, you know, and I remember that back then what I was most interested in was the new, not the centuries old. Wouldn't it be nice if classical music audiences could get over their fixation with the past? Wouldn't it be nice if a few visionary souls could persuade them that maybe the greatest masterpieces have yet to be written? Ah, it'll never happen, but I think new music is what the younger audiences crave. That's what pop music is all about, isn't it? You'll never hear a teenager thinking that the best songs are the ones their parents listened to. They're always looking for something new, and that's what gives pop music it's energy and drive to explore new things.

That said, one of the Met broadcasts this year will be Tan Dun's new opera "The Last Emperor". That's a start, and hopefully they can follow up with vintage recordings of other new works they have premiered over the years. Lord knows I'm no expert on what's hip these days, but John Adams and John Corigliano seem to have attracted a following among younger music fans. Who knows, maybe it'll strike a chord. I just hope that the new Sirius channel doesn't devolve into the 24 hour Mozart/Verdi/Handel channel.

That'll be fine for the blue hairs, but as for me I think I'll take a snoooozzzzzzzzzzzzzzze...

A Little KIndling for the Fire

Before we all rush out and embrace this "new" internet jounalism, maybe we should consider the strange case of Apple Computer vs. Podcastready.com. The story has been buzzing around all the tech blogs and podcasts, and was supposedly broken by Wired Magazine's Listening Post Blog. According to the blog, Apple Computer, maker of the Ipod music player, had sent a "cease and desist" letter to a company called Podcastready.com claiming that their use of the term "Podcast Ready" infringed on certain Apple trademarks. The blog made the further assertion that, in effect, Apple Computer was claiming ownership of the word "Podcast".

Of course, sensational news like this spread quickly through both the blogosphere and the more mainstream enthusiast/tech news sites as well; sites that I've always thought spent way more time reading each other's sites than actually breaking real news. Is posting links really journalism, or is that what we now call the "new" journalism?

Anyways, back to this Apple vs. Podcastready.com thing. Like I said the story broke and all the blogs and tech news sites were linking to it, and pretty soon you had people claiming all sorts of crazy things like Apple was going to trademark the word "pod" or that Apple was going to start suing podcasters for infringing their trademark. I'll admit, I've done a little podcasting myself so the news certainly made me sit up and take notice.

Only trouble was, it wasn't true.

It seems in their rush to get this story onto their news sites these so-called tech "journalists" and "editors" decided to skip the time-consuming process of actually verifying their facts. Just read it on the net, say a quick "Omigod!", post the link, and call it "the news".

Well that's all well and good, but when a skeptical Adam Curry (host of the very popular Daily Source Code Podcast) heard the "news" he immediately had his doubts, and stated on his podcast that he wouldn't believe it was true until he read the actual "cease and desist" letter, apparently something that all the reporters and news sites carrying the story never thought to do. The owners of Podcastready.com heard the podcast and they and their lawyer sent Adam Curry a copy of the letter, which he then read and discussed on his Podcast No. 468.

The discussion is rather long and I won't bore you with the details, but the gist of the matter is that the original blogger completely misinterpreted and exaggerated (deliberately perhaps) the contents of the letter. Listen to the podcast for yourself (with the caveat that the Daily Source Code is not exactly family-friendly), read the blog posting, and see what you think. It seems pretty clear to me that the letter does not tell anyone to "cease and desist" anything or prohibit anyone from using the word "podcast", except in the limited sense discussed in the podcast.

So what are we to make of all this? If it is the role of the bloggers to keep the mainstream media accountable, then whose job is it to keep the bloggers accountable? I think there is this self-deceptive view going around among bloggers that he openness of the blogging community keeps each of us accountable, and yet how do you explain a story like this? By the time someone like Adam Curry actually gets around to checking the facts, the story has already been seen and read and linked by billions of people around the world. In fact, many people on the net still talk of this story as if it were true, and the fact that it isn't seems sadly irrelevant.

The worst part of this whole affair, though, is the carelessness shown by the enthusiast news sites who, despite their self-proclaimed professionalism, have shown themselves to be just as lazy and sloppy as the amateurs. I mean, if you read something on my blog and actually believe it then that's your problem. Sheesh, what did you expect. But if you're going to represent yourself as a journalist or your site as a news site, then you have to meet a higher standard. If not, then why bother.

(Please feel free to link this to this blog and pass it around to all your friends)

Old Man Radio Podcast 12

Direct Download Podcast 12


(Unknown) - Enough For You
Sean Patrick McGraw - Fiona
Lynn Langhan - Riding With The Lonely
Black Math Experiment - The New Black
Katie Davis - Los Angeles
Sierra Dawn- Hollow
Maria Gronlund - Om Flickan Irfan Ipanema

I Didn't Want to do a 9/11 Post, So Here It Is

No doubt about it; it's been a very strange war. Just the whole way it's been marketed has been strange; sort of the no-mess, no-fuss war.

"Got a terrorist problem? Tired of sacrifice and hardship and all those messy, hard-to-use wars you've used in the past? Then you should try our new 'Terror-B-Gone' anti-terrorist cleaner. With it's patented 'Hi Tech' ingredients, 'Terror-B-Gone' will both clean and disinfect those nasty terrorist hotspots. No more scrubbing and no more unpleasant smells. Just spray it on and wipe it off, and you're through. 'Terror-B-Gone' not only kills the terrorists, it's special formula also gets those nasty insurgencies that terrorists can sometimes leave behind. Try new 'Terror-B-Gone' today. (Now in the convenient nation building size)."

Yeah, just because there's a war going on that doesn't mean we have to stop partying, does it? At least that's what this administration seems to be saying. "Now don't be showing any dead soldiers coming back from the war. We don't want to upset the public, especially at dinnertime."

Of all the strange things that have come out of this war, though, I think the strangest has to be the TV footage I saw of the German Army deploying in the deserts of Afghanistan yesterday. I'm not trying to imply anything here, but when I looked at those pictures I just got this really weird sort of deja-vu type of feeling. Does anyone remember Rommel? The Afrika Corps? I know it's totally different circumstances now. It just struck me as strange.

Anyways, that's all in the past. Our new threat, or so we're told, is this thing called Islamafascism. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I'm guessing that they're telling us that just as the European fascists once threatened the world and started the Second World War, now it is Islamist fascists that are threatening the world and bringing us to the brink of World War III. Well, that's what the current administration believes, and no one could ever accuse this current administration of being alarmist or trying to panic the public two months before a midterm election.

So I got to thinking about this whole thing and, you know, to me it just doesn't seem to scale. Let me explain what I mean. According to Wikipedia Al-Qaeda has somewhere around 20,000 members worldwide. In WWII, the Wehrmacht numbered over 18 million. Not quite the same in my book. At it's peak, the Third Reich occupied France, Belgium, The Netherlands, Norway, Finland, Poland, Croatia, Serbia, Albania, Montenegro, Greece, Romania, Bulgaria, Hungary, Czeckoslovakia, Austria, Western Russia and parts of Northern Africa. Al-Qaeda currently occupies a few bases and remote outposts in Northern Pakistan. Again, not quite the same. The Third Reich had one of the most advanced and well-equipped armies in the world, as well as a modern airforce and submarine fleet. Al-Qaeda has explosives and some suicide bombers. Deadly, yes, but not really a threat to overrun Europe.

And yet we act as if they are. Why is that?

The way I see it, if terrorism is about scaring the enemy into irrational actions, then Al-Qaeda has certainly succeeded. America, it seems, has taken this group of 20,000 or so fanatics and created this enormous bogeyman that's going to bring us to the brink of WWIII. That's what happens when you're panicked with fear--you inflate the threat until it becomes this monstrous thing that's living in your closet and is going to eat you up as soon as you fall asleep.

Instead of panicking, maybe what we need to do is step back and do a little reality check. Yes, there is a danger, but how big a danger is it really? I don't have the statistics in front of me but I'll bet you that you're far more likely to die from that cheeseburger and fries you had for lunch than you are from a terrorist attack. If you put things in their proper perspective and don't overreact, then it's easy to tell the difference between prudence and paranoia. In fact, isn't overreaction a big reason we're in the mess we are right now. The more they provoke, the more we react, and the more they are able to use the energy of our reactions to grow and gather strength. Isn't that what people call "feeding the fire".

I think it works something like that.

And just to change the subject, can we please stop calling every difficulty that arises in life a "crisis". Geez Louise. Of course it's the news people who are mostly responsible. Seems you can't have a news show if you don't have a "crisis" to start things off. Got to keep the viewers from changing the channel, you know. That's why when the local 7-11 runs out of ice cream bars, the evening news sends a crew out and calls it "Crisis in America's Dairyland". Geez Louise...

So anyways that's my 9/11 post. All the other bloggers were posting about it so I thought I'd chime in too. Hardly seems worth the bother.

I've Seen the Future and It's Slow - Very Slow

I'll admit that sometimes it's hard to know how to pass the time. Having too much leisure can be as much a curse as a blessing. Better to stay occupied and busy than let dullness and torpidity drain life of its vigor. Stimulation, that's what the human spirit needs, a sense of action and purpose.

So with that in mind let me tell you about the "Unbox" online video store that Amazon.com launched last week, because believe me, if you're the type that can be endlessly entertained by the slow creep of progress bars then "Unbox" will never leave you bored again. Oh, you haven't heard of the Amazon "Unbox"? Well then, let me explain.

For about the past year those Ipod folks have had it all over us poor Windows Media types. Although our devices could play music just like the Ipod and play video just like the Ipod, there weren't any Windows Media stores on the Internet where we could legally purchase video content that would play on our devices. The Ipod crowd could purchase videos from their Itunes Music Store, but the rest of us were left out in the cold.

That sort of changed earlier this year when Starz launched their Vongo service, but unfortunately that service only had support for 2 devices. Great if you happened to own one of those devices but not much use to anyone else.

Last week, however, Amazon.com launched their highly anticipated "Unbox", and for the first time the majority of Windows Media device owners had what the Ipodders merely took for granted; a place to shop for video downloads. Of course, as the owner of a Windows Media device (Creative Zen Vision:M) I signed right up, downloaded the software, and got right to it. Here's what I found.

First of all, the service works. For around 10 or 15 dollars you can download a movie and either watch it on your computer or transfer it to your portable device. Unfortunately, that's all you can do with it. You can't burn it to a DVD and watch it on your home theater like you would with a DVD purchased at the store. It either plays on your computer or your device. Period.

Well, they say there's one born every minute, but even a sucker like me can't get too excited over a deal like that. Why would I pay the same price online as I would in a store for something that's so limited in its use? Interestingly, Apple Computer also announced a similar sort of limited use movie download program today, and you have to believe that it isn't the technology companies that are trying to kill the online video business--it's Hollywood. I'm sure that Amazon and Apple would like to keep their customers happy by offering movies that can downloaded and owned and used just like any other purchased movie, but it appears that Hollywood is never going to let that happen. Instead, their real goal seems to be the destruction of the whole download model, which they must see as a threat to the current DVD/cable/pay-per-view model that's earning them such handsome returns.

Oh well, it goes without saying that I won't be downloading any movies from either Amazon or Apple anytime soon. However, I was interested in some of the TV shows that Amazon had for sale so I gave it a try, and here's where it gets interesting. Now of course there have been "Unbox" horror stories circulating around the net about broken downloads and licensing nightmares and all the sorts of thing you have to expect that from a brand new service. All I can say is that I downloaded a show to my computer and it played fine, and then I transferred it over to my device and it played fine there too. No horror stories from me except...

Before I go any futher I should also explain that Amazon.com touts their TV downloads as "DVD quality", which is good if you like quality, and bad if you've only got a limited time on this earth and want to experience something of life before you die. I can personally vouch for the quality of the videos. They look fantastic on both my computer monitor and on my media device, and look much, much, much, much, much better than any of the videos I've downloaded from Itunes. On the other hand, how does a 852 Megabyte download for a 40 minute show strike you? And you can forget about broadband or fast connections 'cause Amazon's servers don't care. At least they didn't care last weekend, and it took me at least 90 minutes to download a 40 minute video. If you do the math you'll see that comes out to about twice as long to download it as to watch it.

Luckily, Amazon will let you start watching the video as soon as you have downloaded enough to fill the playback buffer, so that cut the time between the start of the download to the point where I could start watching the show to about 1 hour and 5 minutes. Did I mention that this was a 40 minute show? Then again, when the video finally arrived it looked really good. The show looked so good, in fact, that I went ahead and ordered the rest of the season. I don't know what I was thinking but I figure that with only 23 more shows in the series to download I should be finished by around Christmas.

And they'll look really good.

Anyways, if you have a Windows Media device and you want to buy some video for it what other choice do you have? Just be patient and make sure you have plenty of room on your hard drive. At 850 MB per show you're gonna need it.

I Love You California

Greetings from California, where the Labor Day weekend is behind us and election day is just around the corner. In case you forgot that the elections are coming the President made sure he reminded us with his biennial "terrorist scare" speech today. "We are not safe" he told us, "so let fear be your guide when you go to the polls and cast your vote." (Ok, he didn't say that second part, but the subtext was clear)

Honestly, I don't know how long the Republicans can keep playing the pre-election terrorist card before voters start to catch on. Geez, now they've got the public so panicked that there are people out there actually worried that someone is going to bring down a 747 with a tube of toothpaste. Could happen, I guess, but seems a little farfetched to me.

Instead of panicking everyone I think what the airlines should do is take a page out of Great Britain's playbook and install security cameras in the airplanes. And I mean everywhere. Every seatback, every aisle, and every bathroom should have a little cc-camera watching the action. That way, a security officer in the front of the plane can scan all the activity in the cabin, and as soon as he sees someone pull out a bottle of water or reach for a Ipod (BAM!) two goons come running down the aisle and wrestle him to the floor. Pretty good idea, huh? And you won't need to stand in some long security line anymore. Just get on the plane, find your seat, keep your hands in plain sight where we can see 'em, don't make any unnecessary movements, and we'll all have a nice, safe, comfortable flight.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about the elections. We're in the home stretch here in California and I think even the Democrats have given up on poor old Phil. Not completely, mind you, but there just doesn't seem to be much enthusiasm over in the blue camp for the Angelides campaign. I've blogged about this before and I don't want to beat a dead horse. Let's just say...

You know what he reminds me of? He reminds me of a career bureaucrat. In the commercials they try to make him look commanding and purposeful, but no matter how you try to package it he still has that aura of a supervisor at the DMV. You know what I mean?

"Hey Phil, you got change for a dollar?"

"Sorry, I can't do that. I'm not allowed to handle money."

"Huh?"

"I can't do that. If you want change for your dollar you'll need to fill out Form TTDCL998-R at the information desk and take it over to window 97."

"Window 97? You mean you can't just give me change. I've got to go to Window 97? The one where the line goes halfway out to the parking lot?"

"No. You need to fill out the Form TTDCL998-R at the Information desk and then you go to Window 97 to get your change."

"Form what? TCD898 dash what? Where am I supposed to go?"

"TTDCL998-R. You get it at the information desk. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, you've been a great help. Thanks a lot, Phil. You know all I needed was a couple of quarters for the parking meter."

"Window 97. I'm sorry, but rules are rules."


Judging by the number of TV ads being run, the real election issue out here in California seems to be the Proposition 87 oil production tax. If you want me to explain it I can't, although I can give you this link if you want to read it. Basically, what the proponents want to do is put a tax on oil production that will pay for research on alternative fuels. Prop 87 also provides that the cost of the new tax cannot be passed on to consumers. In other words, a real win-win situation for California. We get controls on the price of gasoline and we also get to beat up on the oil companies at the same time. Why didn't Secretary Bodman think of that?

Unfortunately, I'm not buying it. The problem, it seems to me, is that making gasoline refined in California more expensive only provides an incentive for gasoline distributors to buy their gas somewhere else. Why pay more when you can go out of state and pay less? That's usually what happens when you try to implement price controls, and I'm not saying Prop 87 has real price controls, but it comes awfully close. It's been my experience that when the government tries to tell an industry what they can charge for their product what you get is shortages and pent-up demand.

But who knows, maybe this'll work. It certainly has a lot of voter appeal and a Field Poll that came out last month had it well out in front. Either way, regardless of what happens elsewhere, I expect gasoline in California will remain expensive for some time to come. Which will all lead us to where we should be going in the first place anyways, i.e., more fuel efficient cars. There's a novel idea. Maybe that should be on the ballot. Prop 289 - The "If Your Sick of High Prices then Quit Driving that Gas Guzzler" Initiative.

Well, with all this turmoil going on it's going to be an interesting election this time around. Don't be suprised if there's another terror alert or two before election day either. You know, it would be great if we Americans finally got involved in this war of ours and actually showed up on election day and voted. Wouldn't that be something? Instead of going down to Walmart and buying a flag or little yellow ribbon bumper sticker to show our commitment, this election could be a national referendum on the Iraq War and all the various factions could finally hash out just where we stand on the Middle East and America's conduct of the War and our whole foreign policy in general. Yeah, rather than surrender control of the government to the left and right wings of the respective parties, wouldn't it be great if everyone else got involved in this democracy too and showed up on election day and cast their vote and really made a statement about where this country should be headed?

Alright, just kidding. I know, I know. I hope they don't preempt Big Brother for more of that stupid election coverage too. Sheesh. Who cares.

Of Course It's Right - It's Google

I hate it when they ask questions about the Roman Empire on Jeopardy and I don't know the answer. That's the reason I downloaded "The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire Vol. 1" from Project Gutenberg a couple of months ago. It's all a part of what I call the "Gutenberg" effect. That is I go to the Gutenberg website and see all the great books I've been intending to read one day and I get inspired. Unfortunately whether it's a case of my reach exceeding my grasp or just my desultory ways, the books still sit on my PDA unread. That's part of the "Gutenberg" effect too. All those great books you're going to read if you ever manage to find the time. Let's see I've also got some Edith Wharton and some Thomas Hardy and some...

Anyways, I bring up the subject only because ebooks are once again in the news. If you've been following the Ebook story then you already know about Google, and how they've been busily scanning and indexing the world's libraries so that book excerpts can be freely available over the internet. Today that all changed when Google announced that in addition to excerpts they are also offering the entire texts of public domain books for free download at their Google Books site.

"What's this?", you say. "Free books. You mean I can get that new James Patterson book for free?"

Well, no, you can't get the new James Patterson book for free. You can get Emerson's "Essays", though, or other public domain works whose copywrite has expired. Right now the list of works available for download seems pretty skimpy, but I'm sure that will change in the weeks and months to come. However, keep in mind that what you are getting are PDF's of scanned images, with all the advantages and disadvantages that entails. What am I talking about? Let me explain.

First, PDF files are fine for sending documents back and forth, but the idea of reading an entire book using Adobe's PDF Reader software seems a little nutty to me. Is that what you want to do? Spend hours sitting in front of a computer screen paging through a 8 MB PDF file? I doubt it. Of course Adobe makes Reader software for PDA type device's so you could transfer it over and read it that way, but as anyone who's ever tried to view a PDF document on a PDA can attest that's not much of a solution.

No, I don't think most people are going to find Google Books a very pleasant experience. Of course this is Google we're talking about, and for their faithful followers they do have this aura about them, a sort of golden-glow can't-do-no-wrong quality. I bet Google could go over and crap on these people's rugs and they'd be giving Google an award and calling crap the next big thing. (Crap on the carpet? Why didn't anyone ever think of this before?)

But Google worship aside, the big problem with Google Books is that there is a much better alternative already out there. Project Gutenberg has been around since 1971 and currently offers a catalog of around 20,000 public domain books that are completely free for the downloading, and unlike Google Books, Project Gutenberg converts their books into common, ordinary text files rather than unwieldy PDF's. The process involves scanning the pages, using OCR software to convert the scanned pages into text, and then sending that text out to hundreds of volunteers to be carefully proofread for OCR errors before offering it for download.

(I should probably disclose [or boast] that I am a member of the Distributed Proofreaders group which proofreads texts for Project Gutenberg. If you are interested in volunteering just follow the link and sign up. Proofreaders proof just one page at a time, not an entire text, and it takes up as little or as much time as you want to put into it. I probably spend about an hour a month proofing, and I consider it a way of giving a little something back to Project Gutenberg which has provided me with so many books over the years.)

So with Project Gutenberg already out there providing books to millions of reader (2 million downloads a month is what they claim), who needs Google Books? To be fair, what Google is doing is focusing some attention on ebooks and the whole dream of an ebook revolution, but in reality I gave up on that revolution a long time ago. I love ebooks and carry them with me wherever I go, but I think at this point it's safe to say that the public at large doesn't want to have anything to do with them. I don't know why. In terms of portablilty and convenience ebooks are the way to go, and with adjustable font sizes they're much easier to read, especially for the more elderly among us. Most ebook readers even have built-in dictionaries which can be a great convenience. Just tap a word and get its definition.

The argument against them has always been that they don't have the romance of books. You hear that all the time. You know you ask someone why they prefer paper to electronic and they start talking about how they love to open the cover and feel the book and smell the paper and run their fingers through its pages and all that. Geez, I always thought you were supposed to read a book, not fornicate with it.

To me a book is all about the words, and it doesn't make much of a difference if their ink on paper or dots on pixels on a screen. I think the real reason people stick with paper books is so they can show them off in their library or in their office. You know what I mean. That's the only real advantage paper has over electrons. An ebook is invisible when it's there on your hard drive or storage card, but a paper book makes an impression. That's what people think anyways, isn't it? C'mon, admit it.

"My, my, did you read all those books?"

"Why yes I did little lady. I can see you're impressed."

"I'll say. You must be really smart, like a professor or something."

"Oh no, no, no. Though I have done a bit of reading."

"I'll say. I just love a man who reads. I guess I'd do just about anything for a man like that."

"Oh really... It's awfully bright in here, don't you think? Mind if I turn down the lights?"

Yep, the fact is that people just aren't as impressed with an ebook library as they are with books on a shelf. That's the real problem. But if you can live with that then ebooks are a good way to go. You do need some hardware, though.

Sony is going to be coming out with a dedicated Ebook Reader pretty soon. I think it's called the Librie and it's going to sell for around $300 to $400. Ouch. Pretty expensive, and as far as I know there are only going to be about 400 books available for it when it launches. Here's the link if you want to know more about it.

Other than that, the best ebook device currently out there is the good ol' PDA. They're not as popular as they once were but you can still find 'em, and since you don't need an expensive one to read books you can probably get by with something for $100 or less. Once you have the PDA then you need the software. Gutenberg distributes their books as plain text so any text editor or word processor can read them. All PDA's I've ever seen ship with some kind of software that will do the job. However, Gutenberg also distributes their books in the Plucker format, which tends to look a little better than plain text in most cases. Plucker is available for free from plkr.org and works on all Palm based devices. For the PocketPC you need the Vade Mecum software to view Plucker files. Vade Mecum is also free.

And that's all I have to say about that. Free books are out there, and please don't judge the whole ebook thing on the basis of Google Books. You know, it's just possible that every now and then Google can get it wrong.

Il Trittico

Twenty years ago when I bought my first opera on VHS it cost me about $18, an outrageous price at the time. Since then, as the DVD revolution has taken hold, the price for opera videos has steadily climbed to $20, then $30, $35, and now don't be suprised to find that latest operatic release selling for $45 or $50 or more. Obviously, with so many different opera DVD's out there to choose from what the world's billions and billions of opera-loving websurfers need is a free, insightful, unbiased source of DVD commentary and review. If so, then you've come to the wrong place. Instead, as my contribution to the great internet community, let me offer my own totally capricious and wholly unqualified remarks on three recent additions to my private operatic DVD collection.

Jenufa

In the end, all the audience really asks from an opera is a good story with great music and great singing. You get all three in this perfomance of Janacek's classic late 19th century opera. The highlights are Janacek's deeply moving score and standout performances from Roberta Alexander as Jenufa and Anja Silja as Kostelnicka. Best of all, at only $30 it's a great bargain as well. One of the very best DVD's in my collection and one that will be played over and over again. For extra reading you may want to surf over to this 1998 Roberta Alexander interview and her brief remarks about Jenufa.

Die Gezeichneten (The Branded)

In his day Franz Schreker was not an obscure composer, although his compositions have fallen decidedly out of favor since then. From what I hear there is a small movement afoot in Europe to revive some of his operas and expose them to new audiences. If this performance is any indication then all I can say is maybe he is one composer best left in obscurity. No, wait, I don't mean that exactly, it's just that after watching this DVD it's hard to know just what to think.

I think that there should be rating for operatic DVD's myself. Not for the operas themselves or even for the performances, but for the stage direction. Under my rating system there would be 4 designations:

"S" would be for standard, straightforward productions with period costumes and elaborate sets. The sort of thing that the Met seems to specialize in.

"M" would be for (Modern) Minimalist. Productions with nothing but a box and a chair on the stage and lots of geometric things all over the place would get the "M". Not necessarily a bad thing or a good thing. Just minimalist.

"D" would be for (Modern) Different. This would be for productions that try to add new and interesting twists to old material. Setting Romeo and Juliet in mid-twentieth century New York City, for example, with the Montagues and Capulets replaced by rival gangs. "D", if done right, would generally add some entertainment value for the audience.

and finally,

"B" would for (Modern) Bizarre. "B" would be reserved for productions that are so bizarre and strange that no one, including the singers, musicians or the audience, can figure out just what the hell is going on. Die Gezeichneten would be considered the paradigm of the "B" opera.

Which is all my way of saying that this opera made no sense. At least the way it was staged made no sense. Ok, the hero (if you can call a sexual sadist a hero) is supposed to be some kind of deformed hunchback. So naturally, you would assume he would appear with some kind of lump on his back, a la Rigoletto for instance. Instead, the director has him come out on stage dressed as a transvestite.

Huh?

It's almost unintentionally funny to see the other singers referring to this guy's nonexistent deformities and not a one of them noticing that he happens to be wearing a dress! Later in the opera when the Podesta's daughter (our heroine?) sets out to make a portrait of our hero, instead of getting out her paints she starts taking his dress off.

Huh?

I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was supposed to be going on in that scene. Sure, I know it was supposed to be a seduction scene, but it was such an awkward marriage of actions to words that instead of passion all I could muster was a loud guffaw or two. And the whole opera just continues on and on like this. I know the European audiences like their symbolism, but there comes a point where it just interferes and makes a mess of the whole thing. An interesting exercise for anyone interested in Franz Schreker, but not worth the 30 bucks.

Giulio Cesare (Glyndebourne 2005)

Ah Handel. All you baroque purists out there, all you stuffy opera loving bores are not going to like this production. What's this? Dance numbers? Comedy? In a weighty, important opera like Giulio Cesare? Good God, man, Handel would roll over in his grave.

There's a documentary included with this DVD called "Entertainment is not a dirty word" and I think that sums up this production pretty nicely. Sure, this is a time-honored classic, a baroque masterpiece and respect must be given and attention must be paid. At the same time, it's also rather long and there's really nothing wrong with adding a little entertainment to the package. After all, that's what opera is supposed to be, isn't it? Entertaining.

The star of this particular show has to be newcomer Danielle De Niese as the young Cleopatra. I read some of the feedback at Amazon.com and I couldn't believe that no one commented on the show-stopping performance she gives, not only as a singer but as a dancer and comedienne as well. She's simply the freshest breath of air I've seen in an opera in a long time, and it doesn't hurt that she's also quite a looker as well. After all, Cleopatra is supposed to be the most beautiful girl in the world and there's nothing wrong with casting someone who looks the part.

But there's a lot more going on here that just looks. The dancing, in particular, is fantastic. I think the Amazon reviewer called it Bollywood and that describes it perfectly, although I'd call it Baroque meets Bollywood instead. The production is serious when it needs to be serious, and fun when a little fun wouldn't hurt. At $50 this DVD isn't a bargain, that's for sure, but it's so entertaining that I'm sure you won't mind spending the money. Buy it. Highly recommended.

Ageless and Evergreen

Turn back the clock about 40 years on the Santa Clara Valley and you'd have something eerily close to present day Yakima, Washington. To tell you the truth it's a little unnerving. Main Street Yakima has the same feel that San Jose's San Carlos Street used to have. The apple orchards of Yakima bring back memories of the Valley's walnut, prune and apricot orchards, and Yakima even has world class wineries just like the Almaden, Paul Masson and Mirassou wineries that Santa Clara Valley once had.

Add to that the similar climates--warm, mild days followed by cool nights, with Yakima boasting about it's 300 days of sunshine a year, and it really does feel like stepping through a portal to the past. I never would have guessed in a million years that I'd find my childhood again right smack dab in the middle of the Pacific Northwest, but that's what it feels like. Well, not my childhood exactly, but perhaps another glance at the world I grew up in.

Needless to say I like Yakima. I left there this morning on US 12, first driving west past apple orchards and then along the banks of Tieton River and Rimrock Lake up to White Pass. I think it's fair to say that I've driven a lot of roads in America, both east and west and north and south, and in my experience westbound US 12 out of Yakima has to be one of the prettiest drives I've ever taken. It ranks right up there with the Colonial Parkway in Virginia, the Natchez Park Traceway in Mississippi, and of course Highway 1 along California's Pacific coast.

I wish I would have stopped to take some pictures but I was enjoying the drive so much that I just couldn't bring myself to stop. Of course driving it early on a sunny Friday morning meant I had the whole road practically to myself, which definitely makes a big difference. Anyways, coming down from Hope Pass I made a right turn at WA Rte. 123 and began the awe inspiring ascent to Mt. Ranier, where I spent most of the day today.

Mt. Ranier is basically a hiking park (much like Olympic National Park), which means that if you want to get anywhere to see the sights you're probably going to have to hoof it. Keep in mind also that Mt. Ranier is also a mountain, and a rather tall and vertical mountain at that. Now I try to walk everyday and go hiking when I can so I'm not a completly out of shape couch potato, but some of these trails, trails rated moderate I might add, are real lung burners. I went to a place called Paradise and got winded just going from the parking lot to the visitors center (and I wasn't the only one, either. I passed some other people bent over and sucking air along the way).

Rainier is really for the young and fit, and it's probably a good idea for us older folks to bring a cardiologist along if we plan to do anything more rigorous than a visit the gift shop. You think I'm kidding but that's what kept going through my mind today as I was climbing up some of those long, steep slopes. "Has anyone ever died going up this trail?" I thought. "Am I gonna have a heart attack out here?" Believe me, the thought will enter your mind. Trust me on this.

Other than that Ranier is a majestic looking mountain which, unfortunately, is a victim of it's own geography. Namely, it's proximity to Seattle. Even standing at the base it's hard to see the mountain through all the smog that drifts over from the population centers to the west. For those who want to see just how bad the air quality is up there the Park Service has even put out a little machine at the visitors center that continuously monitors the ozone level at the mountain. A healthy ozone level was around 6 as I recall, and the reading on the machine when I was up there was a very unhealthy (bordering on dangerous) 94. That might have a lot to do with my breathing problems today. Anyways, here's a link if you don't believe me.

And that's all I have. Washington's getting too crowded for me so I think I'm gonna head south. I pulled into Seattle today and passed a traffic jam that must have been at least 30 miles long. It ran from Sumner all the way north to Bellevue. Luckily I was going in the opposite direction, but it's always the same old story everytime I come to Seattle. Traffic, traffic, traffic, traffic, traffic. I don't how these people put up with it. They got rid of the Kingdome, I give 'em credit for that. Now if they could only do something about all this traffic and pollution.

Anyways, it's time for me to head back to California so I'm outta here.

Across The Great Divide

Let's face it. Dick Cheney and I are two very different kinds of people. He is ruthless, conniving and stern, while I am merciful, insouciant and forgiving. "Live and let live" is what I say, "You'll pay for this you dog" says Cheney. So isn't it strange coincidence that we should live such different lives and yet both arrive in Kalispell, Montana, of all places, on the very same day. I'm here because I need a place to sleep, and he's here to campaign for some local Republican.

Of course the Kalispellians are excited to have the VP in town, partly because he's the VP but also partly because he's a westerner like them. Cheney was sure to point that out too, in case anyone forgot. They didn't forget. They understand Cheney and he understands them. For example, when an easterner, say a New Yorker, hears that Cheney has accidentally shot his friend in the face with a shotgun he is horrified. "What's wrong with him?" he asks. When a Montanan hears that Cheney has shot someone in the face, however, he just shrugs his shoulders and says "Yup. I've done that."

Anyways, Cheney came and gave a speech and left, but I'm going to stick around till tomorrow morning. Had quite a drive through western Montana today with all the rain and wind and lightning and such. The storm is actually good news for the drought-stricken people who live here, but it kinda put a damper on my day. They haven't had any rain up here for quite a while and so, of course, as soon as I show up the skies start to darken and the storms start moving in.


The rain started to fall around the time I got to Helena and continued while I went up north through Great Falls and Shelby and on into Glacier National Park. Not a great day for hiking or picture taking but a good day for weather watching, especially the lightning storm that came moving into Kalispell this evening. Awesome, dude.

So I think I'll head west tomorrow. Try to get behind this storm front. Who knows, maybe I'll run into Cheney again.

All I Ask is a Good Camera and a Star to Steer Her By

Welcome to Butte, Montana, famous for it's copper mines and as the home of both Martha Raye and the largest superfund site in America. I don't believe there's a connection. (Does anyone remember Martha Raye?)

Had a great drive up from Salt Lake City today through some of the most desolate and remote country in the entire U.S. of A. Along the way I stopped in Idaho to see the Mesa Falls just outside of Ashton, Idaho.

Finally found a hotel with Hi-Speed Internet that actually works so I thought I'd post a few pictures. Yeah, I know, you're all just dying to see my vacation pictures. Well, here goes.

Okay, the first snap is the Hope Fork of the Snake River running through Southeast Idaho. As you can see the weather was perfect. The exposure was a little tricky, though. I'd say a good 3 to 4 stops between the trees and the top of the water in the lower left. Someday I'll have to learn how to use Photoshop so I can fix this stuff.



This next one is Upper Mesa Falls. I seem to have a thing for waterfalls, don't I? This one is particularly beautiful. Did a little better with the exposure too.



Another shot of Upper Mesa Falls.




And last but not least is this one of Lower Mesa Falls. Unfortunately, they don't let you get too close to this one, but it still makes for a pretty picture.



Well, there you go. I shot a video and posted it to Youtube but unfortunately I can't include embeds using blogger. The link is here if you're really bored and want to see it. It's real short.

If you want to see these falls for yourself just take the Mesa Falls Scenic Bypass off of US 20 and follow the signs. You can view Lower Mesa Falls from an overlook just down from the parking lot, and it's an easy hike over paved trails and wooden stairs to see Upper Mesa Falls. Don't know where I'm headed next, but I think I'll keep going north for a while.

Oh The Wayward Wind

Greetings from Salt Lake City, the, uh...I don't know, salt capital of the world? The dust and wind capital of the world? The crud on your windshield capital of the world? It must have some kind of nickname. Let me Google it. Hang on, just a minute...

Welcome to Salt Lake City, the "crossroads of the west". I suppose that means that of all the places where roads cross, this is westernmost, but I'm a bit skeptical. It's where a couple of roads cross, but there's nothing particularly western about them. I suppose the nickname has more to do with the completion of the transcontinental railroad at Promontory, Utah back in 1869. In that case it's not really a crossroads at all, is it? It's more of a junction, but who wants to be known as the junction of the west? Just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Anyways, here I am in the Beehive State and as of this hour I haven't seen nary a bee nor hive. I've seen sand, mountains, and a few Mormons, but bees have been peculiarly scarce. Why am I here you ask? Of all the places a person could be why would he want to be in Salt Lake City? Because, dear reader, once again I have felt a restiveness invading my soul and have decided to gas up my car and go for a drive. A long drive, as it turns out, with no particular destination in mind nor any timetable to meet.

If you think this confirms that I've finally gone off the deep end let me assure you that I went off the deep end long ago, and let me also add that this is not the first time I've gone for a long drive, nor, as it turns out, am I the only one who likes to do it. It seems that Sean Penn, the movie actor, also likes to take long drives, and we all know how balanced and well-adjusted he is.

But who needs a reason? I just like the freedom of getting in my car and going, and have taken many long drives back and forth across the U.S. and Canada. I know some people get bored in the car, but not me. When you fly someplace you always know where you're going and when you're going to get there and when you have to come back, but on a car trip you're not always sure where you're going or how long it will take getting there or when, if ever, you'll feel like returning. You could go north, you could go south, or, like me, you could just go east and wander around for a while.

And that's why I'm in Salt Lake City--The crossroads of the west.

I brought my camera but haven't taken any pictures yet. If you've ever driven across northern Nevada and western Utah you'd know why. I mean, c'mon, sand is sand and sagebrush is sagebrush. What's to see? Tomorrow I think I'll head north, though, up towards Glacier and Yellowstone and that area and maybe post a few shots from up there. Or I could go east towards Wyoming and Nebraska.

But then I've been to Nebraska. I think I'll head north.

Other than that it's been a pretty uneventful trip so far. Reno is Reno, Winemucca is Winemucca and Elko is...actually, my uncle Gaery used to own some property in Elko back in the late 60's or early 70's. My family all thought he was crazy because back then Elko was just a little spot in the middle of nowhere with a couple of gas stations, some motels and restaurants, and a bawdy house down by the railroad tracks. Not exactly a prime location, but he was sure it was going to pay off someday.

Unfortunately, Uncle Gaery died around 1974 and I don't know what happened to the property. I'm sure it went to somebody in the family and they probably sold it. Too bad if they did because I couldn't believe how much it's grown since the last time I saw it. They've got shopping centers and a Walmart and new houses built up on the hill and new roads and it's just unbelievable how much the place has changed. I think he only paid a couple of thousand for the property and now it must be worth a hundred times that. Guess he wasn't so crazy after all, and if someone in the family does still hold the Deed then I hope they don't realize what it's worth and remember me in their will.

Well, that's all I have for tonight and wasn't this a boring post. "What I did over my summer vacation." Sheesh, have I been reduced to that.

Can't Get There From Here

Kind of a personal blog tonight. It was six years ago last week that my mother died -- August 3, 2000. That's her in this picture taken on Mt. Hakodate sometime back in the 80's. The dashing fellow standing to her right is my dad and that dishevelled, derelict looking ne'er-do-well to her left would be me.

Maybe I should explain a little more about the picture.

First about my mother. I know it looks like we just woke her out of bed when this picture was taken but that's actually not the case. She's gone now so I guess she won't mind if I mention this. For many years my mom suffered with MD (Muscular Dystrophy) and, like many people with her condition, as she grew older she had a hard time getting around. She didn't like people to know about it and tried to hide it as best she could, and you would never catch her using a cane or wheelchair unless absolutely necessary. If you look closely you can see she's standing rather stiffly and both my dad and I have got our hands on her back to kind of prop her up a little. Believe me, if we weren't there to hold her she wouldn't be standing the way she is. Anyways, she was a real trooper to pose for this picture because believe me, it wasn't easy.

As for me and my appearance I have no such excuse. Let me explain about the jacket. You see we had travelled all the way from my mom and dad's place in Tokyo on this particular day, and when we left Tokyo Station that morning it was hotter than blazes (and humid too). The last thing I expected when I got off the train was 15 degrees. Needless to say I hadn't packed any kind of sweater or coat, and when we arrived in Hakodate the only thing I had to keep me warm was this ratty old windbreaker thingy you see me wearing in the picture. Believe me, if I knew it was going to be that cold up there I would packed something a little more GQ. Oh, and in case you're wondering the answer is no. There is no way I'd ever get that thing zipped around that fat belly of mine.

Which brings me to the fat belly. I should probably explain that too. The train ride from Tokyo to Hokkaido (Japan's northernmost island) was simply amazing. We took the bullet from Tokyo Station all the way up to where the line ended in Aomori, the northernmost city on the main island of Honshu. I had bought one of those Japan Rail passes when I got to my mom and dad's place in Tokyo, and without checking with my dad first I bought the first class type (the green pass, I think). Well, it turns out that mom and dad couldn't afford to ride first class all over Japan so they got stuck back in coach while I was travelling in first class. It was ok, though. They didn't mind and it gave me an opportunity to sort of mingle without the benefit of an interpreter.

Anyways, there I was luxuriating in first class and stretching out in those nice comfortable chairs they give you, and I got so comfortable that I forgot to go back to the dining car to get something to eat. In fact, once I removed my passport from my back pocket so that it wasn't digging in to my rear end I was feeling real comfortable. I just put the passport in the little magazine pouch and stretched out and aahhhh...fell asleep.

When we got to Aomori my dad woke me up and told me we'd have to hurry up to catch the train to Hakodate. I was looking forward to this part of the trip because the train from Aomori actually leaves the island of Honshu and travels under the Tsugaru Straits through the Seikan Tunnel on it's way to Hakodate on the island of Hokkaido. Up until the completion of the Chunnel over in Europe, the Seikan Tunnel had been the longest tunnel in the world. When my dad told me we'd have to hurry that immediately got my attention. I got up, grabbed my little overnight bag, followed him out onto the platform, followed him down the stairs and under the tracks, and then back up the stairs to the platform to board the Hakodate train. As we boarded the train it was at that precise moment that I realized...

Well, I had about 2 minutes to sprint back down the stairs and under the tracks and back up the stairs to the bullet train and into the car where the little magazine pouch with my passport was, and then sprint back out of the bullet train and across the platform and down the stairs and under the tracks and back up the stairs to catch the train to Hakodate. And I mean I was sprinting. I must have looked like Desmond Howard returning a kickoff as I was ducking and weaving my way through the crowd and straight-arming anyone who got in my way, all the time yelling "Chotto mate! Chotto mate! Pasuportu, pasaportu! Chotto mate!".

And (whew) I made it.

I got onboard the Hakodate train with my heart racing at about two hundred beats per minute, sweat running down my back and into my underwear, and as my stomach began to growl I suddenly realized that I hadn't eaten anything since dinner last night. I was sitting there in the train gulping for air, throat dry, and starving. As the train began to roll on it's way two things immediately came to mind: First, riding a train through a tunnel isn't all it's cracked up to be. I mean a tunnel, even the longest tunnel in the world (at that time) is really just a big hole in the ground, isn't it. Anyone who's ever ridden BART under San Fransisco Bay will know what I'm talking about. One minute it's light and scenery is going by the windows, and the next minute you're in the tunnel and it's dark. And it stays dark for a long, long time, and there isn't a whole lot to see. Big deal. I could just lock myself in the closet if I wanted to look at blackness all day.

My second thought was that if this little train didn't have a dining car I was going to have to start gnawing on the furniture. I got up to look around and sure enough--it had seats and it had bathrooms, but no dining car. So that was that. I was going to have to spend the next hour or two riding in this big black hole with nothing to look at and nothing to eat or drink. Well, almost. Luckily, about halfway through the ride someone came around selling bentos and water, so I scarfed down one of those but it just made me hungrier.

Which takes me back to the picture. The first thing good thing that happened to me after my debacle in Aomori was finding myself in Hakodate. For those of you who might not know it, Hokkaido is famous the world over for it's fresh seafood. My mother was born and raised in Hokkaido so she knew all about the food, and it wasn't long before we found a little restaurant and she suggested I try the curried shrimp. I ordered up a big old plate of the stuff and, just like mom said, it was mmmm mmmmm good. Spicy curry and a strangely sweet tasting shrimp. I thought maybe they sugared them but mom said the shrimp up there were naturally sweet. I was too hungry to argue so I ordered myself another plate of shrimp instead.

And that explains the picture. (By the way if you've read this far then congratulations. I would have stopped around paragraph two). After I stuffed myself it was dad's idea to go up to the top of Mt. Hakodate and look at the view. I would have just as soon gone to a hotel somewhere where I could lay down and digest, but dad wanted me to go up to the mountain and see the view. (And by the way, I don't usually make a pig of myself at mealtime but when you have a chance to enjoy the local cuisine I say go for it. Who knows if you'll ever be back there again. Right?). So off we went to Mt. Hakodate and that's the reason for the bulging belly. At the time the picture was taken it was full of about 20 pounds of shrimp.

But I don't want to talk about that, I want to talk about mom. She looks real tired in the picture but believe me she was pretty excited that night. She was born in a little village about halfway up the coast between Hakodate and Sapporo, and she was glad to back where all her family was. That's why I like this picture so much. It's not really such a great picture photographically speaking, but I like remembering how happy she was to see everybody and, yeah, to show me off a little too. I hadn't met any of her family before or been to her hometown, so I know she got a kick out of parading me in front of all her relatives. I just wish we could go back and do it again sometime.

Six years and I still can't believe you're gone. It doesn't feel like it anyways.


I told you this was going to be kind of a personal blog.


TIP* Just so this whole post doesn't get too maudlin and sappy I thought I'd leave a little tip. If you ever travel to Hokkaido the one absolute thing you must do is try the Chankonabe at the Kitanofuji restaurant in Sapporo. It's a great big bowl (more like a bucket really) of fresh seafood from the local waters, and I mean all kinds of seafood - shrimp. scallops, fish, crab, on and on and on, all served up like a stew in an absolutely delicious steaming hot broth. It's also the meal of choice for Japan's Sumo wrestlers, and the restaurant was in fact founded by a former Sumo wrestler. Of course it's been about 15 or 20 years since I was back there so maybe the restaurant isn't there anymore, but it should be. When we went my Japanese cousins played a little joke on me by telling me to order the chankonabe, and when the waiter came back and placed this big ol' bucket of food in front of me they all had a big laugh. We ended up sharing about two orders between the five of us and even that was a little too much. Give it a try, you'll like it, and then head out to the Susukino to sing a little karaoke. That's the way they used to have fun up in Hokkaido.

Dead Cat's Nightmare #25

(I walk into the coffee house for a cup of coffee. A young girl is sitting at a table by herself)

"Hi, mind if I sit down?"

"Help yourself."

"Boy it sure is a hot one out there, isn't it?"

(no reply)

"Yeah, nice 'n cool in here though. I thought I was gonna burn up out there on the street. How hot is it? Must be in the 90's."

(no reply)

"So, I guess you probably came in here to get outta the heat too."

"What?"

"I said it sure is hot out today."

"Yes, it is isn't it."

"Of course some people like the heat but not me. No sir. Give me that nice cool..."

"Look, I don't mean to be rude or anything but I'd really like to read this book right now. So, if you don't mind?"

"No, no, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your train of thought. I'll just sit here and drink my coffee."

(silence)

"So, what're you reading?"

"What?"

"I said what're you reading? Mind if I take a look...Hmmm, 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra' by Friederich Nietzsche. Wow, that's some pretty heavy stuff."

"Oh, have you read Nietzche?"

"Who me? Well, no, but the name is familiar."

"Yes, I see."

"What's it about?"

"The book?"

"Yeah. 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra', is that some kind of greek play or something?"

"It's about nihilism and the meaningless pain of existence, just like the pain you're giving to me right now."

"Oh, sorry. Sounds interesting though. I guess I shouldn't interrupt you while you're reading, huh?"

(no reply)

"Say have you ever read Preston/Childs? I'm reading one of their books now and it's great. It's about this guy Pendergast you see, and he has this brother that's trying to kill off all of his friends. Like this one guy, a college professor or something like that. Well, his brother gives him this poison one day before he goes to class and then right there in the middle of the lecture the poison hits him and he starts convulsing and screaming and trying to pull his eyeballs out. Out of their sockets, you know? Right there in front of the class and then...well maybe I shouldn't tell you that part so I don't spoil it."

"Yes, perhaps you better not. Now, please, if you don't mind."

"Hell of a read, though. You should pick it up sometime. I mean, after you finish the Nietzche of course."

"Yes, I'll have to do that."

"So, what do you do when you're not sitting in coffee houses reading Nietzche?"

"I'm a musician."

"A musician? You mean like in a band or something?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Is it anyone I've heard of?"

"I'm a concert musician. I play concerts."

"Oh, how interesting. Where do you play?"

"Tokyo, London, Carnegie Hall."

"Carnegie Hall? Hey, didn't the Rolling Stones play Carnegie Hall once?"

"I'm not..."

"Do you know Mick Jagger? I mean did you ever meet him?"

"No, I don't know Mick Jagger. Sorry. If I ever run into him, though, I'll tell him you said Hi."

"Heh, you're just joking with me, aren't you. 'You'll tell him I said Hi', heh-heh, that's a good one. "

"I'm sorry, you seem like a nice guy and all but..."

"What kind of music do you play?"

"Concertos, Sonatas, that sort of thing."

"Oh, so you're a classical musician. Like Andre Rieu or something like that."

"Something like that. Yes."

"Oh I get it. You know I know a little bit about music. That thing, what do they call it? That thing with the lines and...the staff, that's what they call it. You know the staff?"

"What about it?"

"E G B D F. Right? Am I right? E G B D F. Every Good Boy Does Fine. Right? I learned that back in the 4th grade in Miss Quade's class."

"That's very good. You're quite the musicologist aren't you?"

"And F A C E. That's the spaces. You know how you remember that. 'Space' rhymes with 'FACE'. She taught us all that stuff."

"Well isn't that clever. Remind me to write that down."

"Yeah, so you see I'm not a total ignoramus when it comes to music. In fact..."

(Just then a big, beefy six-foot six guys in a tank top and basketball shorts walks in, sees the girl and walks up to the table)

"Hey, there you are. Where've you been?"

(the girl at the table turns and talks to him)

"It's about time you showed up."

(I turn and smile)

"Hi, I'm Tony."

"And I'm Biff and this is my girl so why don't you take a hike you old fart."

"Old fart? Who are you calling..."

"I said take a hike, grandpa. What's the matter? Did you lose your hearing aid or something?"

"Oh Biff, leave him alone. He isn't hurting anyone."

(Biff turns back to her)

"He's bugging me. Christ, where'd you find an old bag 'o bones like this anyways. "

"We were just having a nice conversation about this book I'm reading."

"What book?"

"This one. See."

"What? Thus Spoke Zair a thrust ra by Fry'd Rich Nye It Zzz Chay? What the hell is that?"

"It's German, and it's Nietzche not Nye It Zzz Chay."

"Oh, it's German. Excuse me"

"Don't be such a dork. You know there are still some people in this world who actually read books. Not everyone just sits around and oils their muscles all day. "

"Books? Who needs books when I got you, baby."

(Biff gives the girl a playful poke and then continues)

"C'mon, let's get out of here."

"No. I want to finish a couple of more chapters."

"How long will that take?"

"I don't know. An hour maybe."

"An hour. Baby, I can't wait that long. I got things to do."

"Well, go do your things then. I want to stay in here where it's cool and finish a couple of more chapters."

(Biff gives her another playful poke, and another, and another. The girl starts to giggle)

"Stop it, Biff (hee hee). I mean it. Stop poking me (hee hee hee). You're being a jerk."

"A jerk? That's not what you said last night."

(Biff pokes her some more and I begin to feel a little nauseous)

"Biff, I'm warning you. You better stop (hee hee hee). Biff. No. Stop. (hee hee hee). Biff."

"C'mon. You don't need to finish that book now. Let's go."

(the red faced girl closes her book and grabs her purse, then pauses to look at me)

"It was nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too. I hope you enjoy the rest of your afternoon."

"Good luck with your music lessons or whatever it was you were talking about."

"No, I'm too old for music lessons. You know I open the refrigerator door and half the time I can't even remember what I came to get in the first place. How am I going to able to remember all those notes."

"Yeah, well...enjoy your coffee. It was nice talking to you."

(Biff turns to me)

"Yeah, enjoy your coffee and better luck next time grandpa. Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha..."

(they leave the coffee house and the waiter comes over to the table)

"Say do you know who that was you were talking to?"

"No. Who?"

"I don't know, but I hear she's really famous."

"Oh well, she seemed nice."

"Yeah. She's been in here before. Hey, you weren't trying to hit on her were you? A man your age. I thought you'd be too tired to go chasing after young chicks like that."

"Let me tell you something young man. Someday you'll be old like me and yes there will be many things in this world that will make me tired. You'll get tired of getting up in the morning, you'll get tired of the noise and the traffic, you'll get tired of climbing stairs and standing in lines, and going to the doctor and taking pills and watching what you eat all the time. You'll get tired of oatmeal. You'll get tired of the crime and the violence and the greed and the whole world going to hell in a handbasket. You'll get tired of many, many things, but I promise you one thing you'll never get tired of is the sight of a pretty girl."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, but at a certain point you just got to let it go, don't you. I mean, who wants to be a dirty old man."

"You let it go, not me. Imagine the world without pretty girls. What a pitiful place that would be. Nothing to do but live out the meaningless pain of existence. Have you ever read Nietzche?"

"Nah. But the name is familiar."