Has it been a year already? Geez, time just flies on by and then all of a sudden it's time for another depressing Christmas. Seems like only yesterday...
No, that's not right. I've got to quit being so negative. I've got to be of good cheer and find the "true meaning of Christmas" and all that. Except that after reaching a certain age I have to wonder what's the "true meaning of Christmas" anyway. Christmas is Christmas. You eat, you open some presents, you eat some more, you take a nap, you eat some more, you go home, and the next day you go back to work again.
Well, that's how Christmas seems to me. For most normal folks, I suppose, the "true meaning of Christmas" is something different. It's making plans and decorating the house and hitting the mall to burn up what's left of their available credit and, if everything comes together as planned, it's having it all come together for a perfect "Christmas with the family." That's how it is on TV anyway, and in the real world I guess most people just try to do the best they can. I doubt anyone's Christmas is as perfect as the ones on TV, though. Have you seen the commercial where the husband takes the wife outside and surprises her with a new Mercedes sitting in the driveway. Was that like your Christmas? Seems to me if you can afford to buy your wife a new Mercedes then you're probably too busy counting your money to spend much time worrying about the "true meaning of Christmas", but then what do I know.
Anyways, I don't want anything for Christmas this year, and that's kind of depressing. I mean if you're not anticipating a new bike or a race car set, then Christmas is pretty much like any other day, isn't it? Well, except for the extra pounds you'll have to lose come the New Year. Sure, there's the joy of perfunctory giving, but that has more to do with expectation than spontaneous feelings of peace on earth and goodwill to men if you ask me. In "the true meaning of Christmas" giving should be earnest and heartfelt, not a new toaster. Damn, I must be getting old.
At this point, all I really want for Christmas are the things I can't have. Like a younger body, for instance, or the woman of my dreams. Of course, the reality is that if I had a younger body I'd just abuse it, and if I had the woman of my dreams she'd always remain beyond my grasp. That's why dreams should just stay dreams and not be allowed to intrude on life's thousands of other little heartaches. After all the woman of your dreams probably has dreams of her own, and none of them include you. What then? Either you go on your way or you become a stalker. I say it would be best to just leave dreams to the imagination and not torture yourself over what never was and never could have been.
Which means that at this point I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. Maybe I should end this post instead. Yes, Christmas can be so depressing sometimes. All I ask is that you leave me here with my music and my books, and please don't ask me to be merry. I don't have the heart for it. Now that the cold weather has started I'll be spending more time inside, and that means more blogging time and plenty of opportunities for me to exorcise my inner demons. In the meantime, enjoy your Christmas (or not) and I hope there's a new Mercedes sitting in your driveway on Christmas morning. I'll be on my computer, dreaming.
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