Cool Phone, Santa

The holidays are here and once again it's time to set aside all those things that are really secondary in our lives - ego, money, power - and remember those things that are truly important. After all, isn't that what Christmas is really all about. Isn't it about escaping the commercialism and consumerism and the traffic and the crowds, and getting back to what fulfills us as human beings? Isn't it really all about...

Hi-tech.

I think so, and don't tell me your not looking forward to some cool little gadgets and gizmos under the tree this Christmas. I know I am (like I really need another sweater - puhleeeeze). So with that in mind I thought I'd offer up a couple of ideas for the gadget freak in your family. These aren't the best Christmas gadgets out there, but just a couple of ideas for the geek on your list. And guys don't forget, it's not just men who are into tech these days. Don't let your Christmas morning turn out like this.

"Oooh honey, What is it?"

"It's a diamond solitaire, sweetheart. I just wanted you to know that I'd marry you all over again."

"A diamond solitaire? But I wanted an IPhone!"

"An IPhone? This is better than an IPhone. It's sentimental. You know how sentimental women are."

"I told you I wanted an IPhone."

"That's a full carat diamond. Look at it. And that's 14k gold. You're supposed to be smiling and glowing when you get something like that. You're supposed to hug me and kiss me and tell me what a wonderful husband I am. You're supposed to..."

"Yeah, well time to wake up and step out of your cave, Mr. Neanderthal man. Does this thing have a chip in it?"

"Yeah, right. Of course it does. When's the last time you saw a piece of jewelry that didn't come with it's own microprocessor."

"Well you don't have to get sarcastic...Look, I'm sorry, ok? It's just that...I do appreciate the thought. Really I do."

"Well, then you like it?"

"I love it. Did you keep the receipt?"

"It's in my wallet."

"Good, the Apple Store will be open tomorrow."


My first gift idea is the perfect product to buy for someone else that you wouldn't buy for yourself. It's an ebook reader called the Kindle, and it was just introduced today. Instead of an LCD screen it uses a technology called e-ink to display the pages, which greatly increases its battery life. It uses special ebooks from Amazon.com and can display b/w images as well as text. It also includes a free wireless connection so that you can shop Amazon and purchase books, magazines and newspapers wherever your in range of Sprint's EVDO high speed cellular network. And you get all this for only (choke)

FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS.

Personally, I'm made of money so paying $399.00 for an ebook reader means nothing to me, but I'm guessing that most other people will find that price a little steep. Especially bookworms, who are basically cheap to begin with and not inclined to spend a wad of dough for a pricey plastic gizmo when a good ol' dog-eared, coffee-stained paperback would do just as well. Hell, most bookworms won't even spend money on hygiene and new clothes let alone a $400.00 ebook reader.

It's the kind of gift one book lover could give to another though, especially if the giftee spends a lot of time on the road. It's nice and portable, can around 200 books, and can even play MP3's and audiobooks from Audible.com. If only it didn't cost so much.

My second Christmas gift is for the budding Steve Vai in the family. I just bought one of these myself and it's cheap (around $90.00). It's called the Guitarport and it's a little box that allows an electric guitar to connect to a Mac or PC via a USB port. It's made by the folks at Line 6 who also make amplifers and other electronic musical goodies, and I'd say even the most burnt-out, brain dead rock and roller can get the thing installed and running.

The package consists of the little box itself and some software that needs to be installed on the computer. The box will not run without the software, so if you need to plug it into a mixer you're probably out of luck. Then again, if you have a mixer then why would you need a Guitarport? Hmmm... You plug the guitar into the front of the box and the power and the USB cable in the back and voila, you're ready to jam. The Guitarbox software comes with an insane amount of effect, amp and cab models, and on my Mac I can feed the input directly into Garageband and use all the effects, etc.. built into that software as well.

How does it sound? Pretty good. I made this little sample file so you could hear me jammin' with one of the Guitarport instruments. I'm sure that after listening you will come away convinced of my status as an amateur guitarist, but in the hands of a competent musician this box could probably do some wonderful things.

jazzy.mp3

Anyways, if I come across any more holiday gift ideas I'll be sure to pass them along. In the meantime, keep readin' and rockin' and have a Hi-tech Christmas.