"Ladies and gentlemen, we are making history here tonight. A bipartisan presidential debate before the first primary has even been held has never occurred before in American presidential politics. But that's precisely what we propose to bring you tonight. On this stage we will be presenting candidates from both of the major parties to debate the issues of the day. It is our hope that by doing so we will offer the voters watching at home a broad perspective of the differences not only within each party, but within the broader context of American society as well, So candidates, if you're ready, let us begin.
"My first question goes to you Senator Clinton. Everyday Americans turn on their TV's and see yet more carnage, more sectarian violence, more lawlessness, and more innocent victims caught in the crossfire. If elected President, how will you bring an end to this bloodshed and restore peace and civility?"
"Thank you Mr. Moderator, I'm glad you asked that question. I too am troubled by what I see happening in Iraq and let me..."
"Iraq?"
"Yes, you were asking me about Iraq."
"Actually I was talking about West Oakland."
"Oh, I misunderstood. Well, West Oakland and some of our other urban areas are certainly in trouble, and let me assure you that as President I am committed to taking on this problem and remaining strong in my conviction that this sort of criminal behavior is wrong and must be dealt with on every level - local, state and national. We cannot let these criminal gangs take over our streets and terrorize our citizens, and I will see to it that our brave men and women in law enforcement receive the resources they need to combat these thugs. But let us not deceive ourselves into believing that law enforcement is in itself enough to accomplish the task. It will also take the involvement of community groups, educators, business leaders and all the rest of us to help our young people turn away from crime and to live productive live. To make that happen it will take the kind of vigorous leadership that I have shown in the past to make sure the job gets done, and in a Clinton presidency, the job will get done."
"Thank you Senator Clinton. Mayor Giuliani, your thoughts?"
"Unlike most of the other candidates on this stage, I have actual experience dealing with the kinds of problems your seeing in West Oakland and Richmond and South Philly. I was Mayor of New York and I've been there. How do we deal with crime in our inner cities? We don't tolerate it, it's as simple as that. Zero tolerance is the only way for cities to take back the streets, and as President it will be my first priority to hire 100,000 new police officers and make sure our cities have the resources available to do the job. An I can tell you what we don't need. What we don't need is a lot of interference from Washington or a bunch of bean counter bureacrats. We'll spend the money, we'll hire the officers, we'll build the courts and jails and we'll get these thugs off the streets. That's my promise to the American people. We did it in New York, and we can do it in Oakland. All we need is the will and determination to get the job done."
"Thank you Mayor Giuliani. How about you, Senator Obama. Is law enforcement the answer?"
"No it's not the answer and let me tell you why. What we need is a new approach. The old way of doing things simply hasn't worked. We've tried law enforcement in the past and yet the street gang problem still exists. We've involved the community, we've talked to business leaders, we've tried to improve our schools, and those things are important, but the same old way of doing things that Senator Clinton advocates just won't work anymore. We need to reach out to our young people, get them involved in the solution. These are their neighborhoods too. We should listen to what they have to say. Do they need jobs? Well ok, let's provide them with the education and skills they need so they can go out and get those jobs. Do they need a stable home environment? Ok, let's get some counselors in there and intervene in some of these dysfunctional families. This has to be a two-way street. As President I can't just dictate solutions to our young people. I need to hear from them, and we need to get the parents involved as well."
"Governor Romney, we haven't heard from you."
"When I was Governor of Massachusetts it's true I had undocumented workers employed on my property. I can see now that I was wrong, and as the only true conservative in this race let me reassure the voters that I am strongly against this practice."
"Thank you Governor Romney. Yes, Senator Edwards, you had something you wanted to say?"
"Thank you Mr. Moderator. As I listen to the other candidates give you their answers I must say that I'm astonished at the lack of vision shown here on this stage. Law enforcement is not the answer. Building jails is not the answer. The question is what can we do as Americans to combat crime in our inner cities, and the answer is that it is clearly the government's responsibility to see that our citizens are safe and that our youth find a place in our society where they can lead happy, productive lives. As President I will propose legislation that deals directly with problem. That means job training, health care, family crisis intervention, afterschool programs, mentoring...the list goes on and on. There is no reason why any child in America should ever suffer hardship, and I believe it's government's responsibility to see that no child ever does. The first thing I will do as President is withdraw our armed forces from Iraq and use those monies to fund the kind of social programs we need to affect the lives of everyday Americans. We are still the richest country in America, and the real crime is not redistributing some of those riches to our societies most vulnerable citizens. Government can do that, but only with strong Presidential leadership."
"Would that be your approach Senator Thompson?"
"No, and let me tell you why. Crime is not a new problem in America, particularly in our inner cities. What we should be concerned with is containment. Let's be brutally honest here, black communities in America have always been high crime areas, and as long as we can contain it to those areas then I think most Americans will be ok with that. If it starts to go beyond those borders, however, then we've got a problem. I don't know why Americans care more about carnage a half a world away than they do about the carnage just up the freeway, but that's the reality of the situation and we've go to deal with that. Containment is the key strategy here. That is where we should concentrate our resources, because, mark my word, if we don't then this stuff can get out of control."
"Thank you Senator Thompson, and that was a great movie by the way. Congressman Paul, how about a word from you. This is the internet, after all."
"Thank you Mr. Moderator. If there is a crime problem in West Oakland, then I say why is that the government's concern. If I'm not mistaken, the Second Amendment of the Constitution stills grants to each citizen the right to bear arms, and an armed populace is far better than any government solution as far as I'm concerned. As President my first action would be to put an end to all of this wasteful spending and legalize crime. Legalize crime and the crime rate will go down, I guarantee it."
"Ok, Governor Huckabee it's your turn."
"Why are our young people so lost? It's a lack of faith, that's what I say. The Bible is a far more powerful weapon than the Glock 19, but is sadly missing from our society today. I think the President should be more than just a political leader, he should be a moral leader as well. What I want to ask the citizens of Oakland is 'where are the churches in all this. What role does prayer play in the daily lives of your children'.As the only candidate up here who truly represents the values of the Christian Right I think you know where I stand. The problems in Oakland are the same as the problems I see across America. We need to restore faith in our lives and emphasize family values. Only through faith can our young people battle against the forces of evil we see all around us. Yes, we should punish the sinners, but always with a sense of love in our hearts."
"And finally Senator McCain, you get the last word."
"Huh?"
"Senator McCain? Are you awake sir?"
"Yes, I'm sorry. I'm afraid the lateness of the hour has taken it's toll. The important thing to remember is that defeat is not an option. Our young men and women who have fought so bravely deserve better than..."
"Senator McCain, we were talking about Oakland."
"Yes, I understand, but defeat is still not an option. What this country needs is discipline and the courage to see the fight through. And, uh...I forgot what I was going to say."
"That's fine Senator McCain. I want to thank all of you candidates for attending this debate, and I want to especially thank you viewers at home for tuning in and listening so patiently and carefully to their answers, for in the end it's you who will decide the course of this great nation in the year's to come. Think about what you've heard tonight when you step into the voting booth to cast your ballot, and remember democracy depends on an informed and involved electorate. With that I bid you all good night, and ask you to please stay tuned for the network premiere of 'Laundering With The Stars' immediately following this broadcast. Tonight four celebrities air their dirty laundry and reveal the secrets hidden in some of their most intimate apparel. What's hiding in your clothes hamper? That's 'Laundering With The Stars' immediately following most of these --- stations. From the Silicon Valley, this has been the Bipartisan Presidential Debate. Thank you all, and good-night."
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