This Whole New Media Thing Explained

It was hot, I was tired, so I decided to head over to the Big Media Deli to get a bite to eat.

"Hiya Joe, give me a Reuben will ya."

"No can do, man. If you want a Reuben you'll have to wait until 7:30."

"But Joe, that's an hour and half from now," I says. "Can't you just make me up a sandwich now?"

"Like I said, you want a Reuben then you'll have to wait."

"Don't you got any Pastrami?"

"Yeah, I got Pastrami."

"Don't you got any Rye?"

"Yeah, I got the Rye."

"Then why do I got to wait around till 7:30?"

"Cause that's the way we do things around here. Look, you want a Reuben then come back at 7:30. You want to eat now then we're serving Tuna Salad."

"But that don't make no sense, Joe. If you got the Pastrami and you got the Rye then why can't I..."

"Look Buddy," Joe says to me as he reaches his hand under the counter, "We gonna have trouble here?"

"No, no trouble. Hell of a way to treat your customers, though."

"Treat the customers? Look, you see that Ferrari parked over there in the parking lot?"

"Yeah I see it."

"You know who owns that Ferrari?"

"You?"

"Yeah, that's right. ME. And you know how I got the money for that Ferrari?"

"Beats me."

"I got it because I know what the customer wants. I been in this business for over 50 years and believe me, no one knows what the customer wants better than me. Not EVEN the customer."

"Well, what if the customer wants a Reuben?"

"Then he comes in at 7:30, and if he wants a Tuna Salad then he comes in at 6:00. Got it?"

"No. I don't 'get it'. You got Pastrami, you got Rye bread, I've got money to spend, so why don't we just do this now instead of waiting until 7:30."

"Cause like I told you - that ain't what the customer wants."

"Look Joe, how 'bout we do this. How 'bout you make me up a Reuben now, at 6:00, and I pay for it, but then I promise you I won't eat it until 7:30. Would that be ok? That wouldn't break any rules would it?"

"You mean I give you the sandwich now so that you can eat it later?"

"Yeah. We can call it timeshifting."

"No way."

"Why not?"

"How do I know that if I give you that sandwich now that you won't turn around and share it with some of your buddies, huh? And then what? Maybe they start sharing it with some of their buddies and pretty soon no one will want to buy any more sandwiches. No. No way. No deal partner."

"You're crazy Joe. You're totally Looney Tunes, man. Ok, say I come back at 7:30 and buy a sandwich, what's to stop me from sharing that sandwich with some of my buddies then? Huh?"

"This baseball bat I got under the counter, that's what."

"Baseball bat? You mean if I buy the sandwich and try to share it with someone you're gonna hit me over the head with a baseball bat?"

"Yeah, that's right. I call it DRM - Disfigure, Ruin and Maim."

"Well what if I get the sandwich to go? You gonna follow me around with a baseball bat?"

"To go? We don't have sandwiches to go. That ain't what the customer wants."

"Well maybe he does Joe. Maybe the customer wants the freedom to order a sandwich when it's convenient for him and eat it wherever and whenever he chooses. Does that seem so strange to you?"

"Damn right it does. If I say the customer wants his Reuben at 7:30 then that's when he wants his Reuben, see. Remember, I'm the one that's driving the Ferrari here. Got it?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"No" Joe says as he reaches back under the counter, "I said DO YOU GOT IT?"

"Yeah, I got it. Don't get yourself all worked up."

"Good, now is there anything else I can do for you?"

"How about a ham and cheese. Can I get a ham and cheese?"

"What did I just say. I said we got Tuna Salad, or don't you hear so good."

"But what about one of those ham and cheese sandwiches over there in the refrigerator. You don't even have to make 'em - they're all ready to go."

"Those are saved for group parties only."

"Huh?"

"It's a system. First we sell ham and cheese to large groups, then we sell them to food processors to be repackaged and sold in the supermarkets, then we sell them to caterers to resell to their paying clients, and then we sell them to the general public."

"So when can I get one?"

"Try me in about 6 months."

"6 months? Why can't you just sell me one now? I mean I'm here, I'm ready to buy, what's the problem?"

"Like I said, it's a system. This way everyone gets their cut, and besides, it's what the customer..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if I want a ham and cheese now I gotta go drive somewhere and buy a ticket so I can sit with a bunch of other people and we can all eat our ham and cheeses together. Is that how it works?"

"The experience is much better and it gets you out of the house."

"Sure it does, and I tell you after I go to all that trouble it better be one hell of ham and cheese sandwich. But what if it's just a so-so sandwich that I'd rather enjoy sitting on my sofa at home. You telling me I gotta wait 6 months?"

"That's the system."

"And that's what the customer wants, right?"

"You're catching on."

"Well, ok, let's say I wait the 6 months and I buy the ham and cheese. Will I be allowed to take it home?"

"Sure, that's the whole idea."

"And when I get home then I can do whatever I want with it?"

"Say, wait a minute..."

"I mean, if I want to share it with some of my friends that'll be ok?"

"Not unless you want me to whoop some DRM on your ass."

"No sharing then."

"You want to see my baseball bat?"

"No, that's ok. But how about if I don't want to eat the whole sandwich. How about if I want to save some of it. Not to share with anyone else, mind you, but just for my own personal use. Can I do that?"

"What do you mean personal use? That sounds like a bunch of crap to me. You're just saving it so that you can share it over the internet aren't you?"

"No, not share - personal use. My own, personal use."

"Look buddy, you buy the sandwich then you eat the sandwich. That's the way it works. You want to try anything funny then it's your ass, not mine."

"No personal use, then."

"..."

"Ok, ok...You know what I think. I think you can take all your rules and restrictions and shove 'em. If I want a Reuben or a ham and cheese then I don't need your permission - I'll just take 'em. And if I want to share 'em with my friends then I'll go ahead and share. And if you want to whoop a DRM beatin' on my ass then you just go ahead and try. Just remember you gotta catch me first."

"I got dogs."

"Dogs?"

"Yeah. Mean, ugly dogs with briefcases. Believe me you don't want to mess with those dogs 'cause they'll hunt you down and eat your liver."

"Heh - you don't scare me. Besides, who needs you're stupid sandwiches. We'll get some bread and ham and cheese and make our own. Then we won't even need your stupid deli, and if we feel like having a sandwich we'll just make one, and we can do whatever we want with it too. Eat it, share it, save it, anything we feel like and you can't do nothing about it. Yeah, we'll make 'em just the way we want 'em and and eat 'em whenever we feel like it. What do you think about that!"

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,ha, ..."

"What's so funny?"

"That'll never work."

"Why not?"

"Cause that's not what the customer wants."

No I Don't Need The Extended Warranty

I'm not a car guy so why does it come as no suprise that the big event this week in San Jose is a car race through downtown San Jose. Not that I mind, it's just that you've got all these Champ cars coming to town and racing around and making all kinds of noise and for what? Just to go around in circles and arrive back where they started from? Sheesh, what's the hurry?

But then, like I said, I'm not a car guy. Back in high school I was never one of those you'd see standing around the quad talking exhaust manifolds and carburators and reciting a bunch of numbers they memorized from a magazine with tailpipes and busty bikini models on the cover. Maybe I should have but the fact is I was too busy being one of those musician wannabes hanging around the music building and trying desperately to become the next Duane Allman or Jimi Hendrix.

"Hey man, show me how to play that".

"Sure, it goes like this (bee de lee de bee de bee bee twang). Got it?"

"No, man, you played it too fast. What was that first part again?"

"See ya'. "

"Oh...oh...ok, that's cool. You gotta jet, I get it. That's alright I think I got it. Let's see (thunk bip buzz buzz kdunk buzz...) Damn, I missed that last part. How did that go again? Oh yeah, I forgot. See ya'...thanks."

I wonder what's more pathetic - the wannabe's that try to talk cars and don't know what they're talking about or the wannabe's that try to be guitarists and can't play. Well, better to be one or the other than wind up being both, I suppose.

So, like I said, I'm not a car guy, and that's unfortunate too because it's that time again. That time that I'm sure so many of us look forward to. That time when we leave our comfortable little worlds, steel ourselves, grit our teeth, march down to our friendly local car dealerships and prepare to do battle with those frickin' people again.

Yes, it's car buying time.

Now if they would just invent a car that would always stay stylish and modern and never break down then I wouldn't have to go through with all this. What's even sadder is that I really don't have to go through with this. My current car is running just fine. It's one of those japanese models and all I do is put gas in it, change the oil, keep the tires and brakes fresh, and it just runs and runs and runs. It's dependable, reliable, extremely cheap to own and even though it's got around 110,000 miles on it I don't see any reason why it shouldn't go another 110,000. All I have to do is just keep doing what I'm doing.

And that's the problem with these japanese cars. They're so dependable and so reliable that after a while you just get sick of them. At least with an American or European car you can count on the thing to break down on you and force you to buy something else, but these japanese things just keep going on and on and on. I mean it's boring.

So I don't really need a new car, but I want a new car, and the prices are pretty good nowdays so why not. And this time I think I'm going to get...well, another japanese car. Geez, I haven't thrown prudence and sensibility completely out the window. This time, however, I'm using the internet to make sure I get exactly what I want.

And that's what this blog is really all about. (Yeah, I know, 5,000 words of introduction and we haven't even gotten to the first theme yet).

So here's the skinny on shopping for cars on the internet - it totally rocks. Now mind you I didn't say buying a car on the internet. That's a whole different story. But researching and pricing cars on the internet is definitely the way to go these days. There is just so much information out there. You got Edmunds, and Intellichoice, and Yahoo Auto, and Carsdirect and the list just goes on and on. You can get reviews, specs, options, dealer costs, dealer incentives, Kelly Blue Book value, trade-in value, loan rates, insurance quotes, and best of all, dealer quotes on any car currently for sale in your area.

Now, without even leaving the house, I know what I'm interested in, I know what the price is, I know what my current trade-in is worth, I know what my financing options are, and I know how much it will cost me to insure it. Grrrrrrr, c'mon Mr. Dealer man, I'm ready for ya. Yeah, that's right, you ain't gonna hornswaggle me! Now mind you, I've said that everytime I've ever bought a car in the past and I've always left the dealership feeling like I just had my pocket picked, but not this time.

No, this time I've got the price quoted in advance.

They say that bargaining over the internet saves the buyer, on average, about $400 over what they would have spent had they just walked into the dealership cold, and I believe them. This price quoting thing is great, and it seems like the dealers don't try to jerk you around so much if they know that you've been to Edmunds.com or some site like that where you have all the numbers right there in front of you. I got about 10 different quotes in on the 3 different cars I'm looking at, and they all were pretty good though definitely not all the same.

For instance, on one of the cars I had a quote that was $500 over Invoice, one that was $200 under invoice, and another that was $250 under invoice. Why so cheap? Because I can see right here on my computer screen that there is a $400 incentive being paid to the dealer by the manufacturer and that the 2006 model is just about to be introduced and some dealers are willing to sell under invoice in order to clear their inventory. That's why so cheap.

So now that I have price quotes in hand and all the other information I need, all I need to do is go down to the dealership and check the car out. If I like it, I buy it, and if I don't, I don't. I'm sure they'll try to lowball me on the trade-in but don't forget - I know what the trade-in value is too. As long as it's close and as long as I like the car then this whole car buying thing might just have gotten a whole lot easier. Yeah, what would we do without the good ol' internet.

Wish me luck!

Grandpa Myers, The Weather, and Whatever Else I Feel Like Talking About

The best part of seeing my Ohio relatives when they came to visit was just listening to them talk. That's because my relatives were real Ohioans, from the old school that is, and for a kid born and raised in California like me it was always a hoot to listen to all those strange Midwestestern things they used to say. Not that Ohioans talk like that anymore, of course, but in those days before the country was flattened by the banalities of a common culture people from Ohio used to talk different. At least my relatives did, and it was always brought out a few giggles from me and my brothers.

Especially Grandpa Myers. Grandpa Myers was Ohio through and through.

"Hey Buddy (that was my father's name), looks like you could use a little rain. Doesn't seem to much water in that crick over there."

(giggle, giggle, giggle)

"What's so funny back there boys?"

"Grandpa, you said crick. It's not crick, it's creek. C-R-E-E-K, creek."

"Creek? Why that little ol' mud puddle. I never heard such a thing. Ain't enough water in it to be a CREEK. Back where I come from a puny little thing like ain't nothing more than a crick. Ain't that right Buddy?"

"Out here they say creek, Dad. You boys have never seen a real creek before, have you? Not like they have back in Ohio."

"You know we had a crick back in Ohio and when your Dad was about your age he used to go diving into it off an old wooden bridge. Lucky he didn't break his neck, ain't that right Buddy? Good thing Grandma never caught you. Ho, good night nurse!"

(giggle, giggle, giggle)

"Now what're you laughing about?"

"Grandpa, what does 'good night nurse' mean?"

"Never mind that boys. Now Dad, what do you and mom want to eat tonight? You feel like going out to a restaurant or do you want Marge (that was my mother's adopted name) to fix something up at home?"

"That's up to you Buddy. Whatever you feel like doing."

"How about a restaurant. Got any favorites you feel like going to?"

"Well, how about that Eye-talian restaurant we went to last time. That was pretty good."

(giggle, giggle, giggle)

"That Eye-talian restaurant, down there by the crick. Is that where you want to go?"

(guffaw, guffaw, guffaw)

"Boys, settle down back there, I mean it. I don't know what you think is so funny."

"It's not Eye-talian, dad, it's It-alian."

"What did I say?"

(snicker, snicker, snort, snort.)

"You said Eye-talian. (giggle, snort, guffaw, snicker) You said the Eye-talian restaurant down by the crick (chortle, snort, laugh, giggle)"

Okay, so I never said we were mature for our age. Anyways, Grandpa always got a kick out of it and after a while I think he used to put on a little extra of that midwestern talk just to get us going. He'd thown in a few "look out Sadie's" and "Katie bar the door's" just to get us giggling, and of course when he said the word "root" it always rhymed with "foot". "You want to get a root beer" always sounded a lot like "You want to get a foot gear" when coming out of Grandpa's mouth.

Grandpa's favorite word, however, was winnergnauss. What did it mean? Well it wasnt' a real word at all but just a made up word he'd use whenever he was talking about horseradish. Yeah, my Grandpa loved his horseradish. Liverwurst sandwiches with horseradish, sausages with horseradish, saurkraut with horseradish, peanut butter and horser...well, you get the idea. But he never called it horseradish, he always called it winnergnauss, for reasons he never explained. But it became kind of like a little family joke.

"How's the steak, Grandpa?"

"Needs some winnergnauss."

(giggle, giggle, giggle.)

"How are the eggs Grandpa?"

"Where's the winnergnauss?"

(giggle, giggle, giggle)

Well, you get the idea. I remember once after Grandma and Grandpa moved to So. California my Grandpa took me to this new German restaurant that just opened up down the street. Geez, he was so excited because there was no place to get any good German food down where they were living at the time, so when this new restaurant finally opened he took me out for a walk one day and headed straight for the place and some good German cooking. We finally got to the end of the block and I could see the big red roof and on top of it was a big yellow sign on top that read

"Der Weinerschnitzel - Grand Opening".

So on we went to take a look and it was almost sad to see the disappointment on Grandpa's face when he looked at the menu. No brautwurst, no liverwurst, no saurbraten, nothing. Finally he looked down the menu and found something that looked at least a little promising. "I'll have a kraut dog", he said and I ordered a hot dog for myself and we sat down to eat. Poor Grandpa, I saw him take one bite and almost sneer with disgust as he put the thing back in it's wrapper and down the dumpster.

"What's wrong, Grandpa. Aren't you hungry?"

"Needs winnergnauss", he grumbled, and that's the last German meal he ever ordered up at Der Weinerschnitzel.

So why am I telling you all this? Well, it has to do with this heat wave we've been having. You see, out here in the Bay Area we have what are called "microclimates". What that means is that in the summertime a huge bank of fog hugs the coast of California and creates these huge climatic differences in the local weather. It's not unusual, for instance, for temperatures to be sub-zero at the coastline and then be 179 degrees only a few miles inland.

And the weatherpeople love this.

Just turn on the news any night in the summertime and you'll see them up there on the TV screen grinning as they make their forecasts. "Look for temperatures around 158 degrees tomorrow in Livermore, and for you folks at the coast be sure to carry chains as there's a winter storm warning in effect for San Franscisco and Pacifica." Yeah, they just love it as we inland folk sit and swelter while they stand around their air conditioned studios and play with all their little weather toys. Pisses me off, too. I say no one should be allowed to stand there and grin while others suffer, but then weatherpeople enjoy the suffering of others, don't they?

Of course they do. When the weather's nice and calm and nothing's really happening they just stand there in front of the camera looking bored and distracted and thinking about what they're going to have for dinner that night or where they're going to go on their next vacation or whatever. But as soon and a tornado touches down or a hurricane blows ashore or a sweltering heat wave settles in then they perk up and get all excited. "Alright", they say, "weather danger, people are suffering, this is so cool". And then they just start their grinnin'. Bah, I say, come down here and I'll wipe that grin from your face, Mr. Weatherperson. Nyah, I'll show you what I think of your forecast, nyah. You think you can mess with Little Rico, huh? I'll show you. Nyah.

Well, anyways. So the best part of when your Ohio relatives comes to visit is when they decide they want to go visit San Francisco for the first time. That is if you live in San Jose, I mean, because being south of San Francisco in the summertime means that our temperatures are around 30 degrees warmer than the temperatures in S.F., and that always makes for great fun.

There they are, your Ohio relatives, it's 95 degrees outside and they've got their shorts on and maybe a sleeveless blouse or a polo shirt on all ready for a nice sunny day in the great city by the bay, and then out you come carrying a sweater or a jacket and they look at like you've got a few bolts loose.

"Buddy, you're not bringing a jacket are you? Why it's so hot out here I'm about to melt."

"It can get pretty cold up in San Francisco ma, you might want to bring a coat along."

"No, I'll be fine. You've got air conditioning in that car of yours don't you?"

"Yeah. Sure you don't want to bring a coat?"

"No I'll be alright."

"Ok, don't say I didn't warn you."

Yeah, those first-timers, they're pretty funny. They never know what they're getting into. They figure if it's hot in San Jose then it must be hot everywhere, but then they get out of the car at fisherman's wharf and that fog and that wind hits them and they get educated real fast. Hooey, that's always good for a laugh, and it's even better when all the native San Franciscans walking around in scarves and winter coats start looking at them in their shorts and thin little blouses and start giving each other those knowing glances. You know the kind.

"Tourists. Must have come up from San Jose".

Yeah, that's just one of the ways that we Bay Areans get our kicks when entertaining out-of-state visitors. And of course we take pictures so that we can look back through our photo albums years later and remember the day. There's mom and dad and me all bundled up and smiling in front of a huge fog bank that's supposed to be the Golden Gate Bridge, and look, there's Aunt Rose shivering like a ghost, clutching her arms together, and the wind blowing her hair while her face turns blue. Wasn't that a great time.

I just love looking back through those old pictures.

Tea And Sympathy

Summertime, and the living is heavy
Sun is high, and my back racked with pain
Dropped a quarter, so I bent down to fetch it
And when I stood I was hurtin', only myself to blame

They don't write 'em like that anymore, do they? Anyways, just thought all of my readers would like to know the lengths to which I go to bring you this blog each week. You see the truth is...I'm hurtin' here folks. I wrenched my back yesterday picking up a quarter I dropped at the soda machine and let me tell you the pain is tremendous. But do I whine? Do I complain? Of course not, for neither rain nor sleet nor stabbing pain will stay this blogger from his appointed rounds. Chin up, shoulders straight, and on we go...

I guess.

Then again, maybe not. Sorry, dear reader, but this isn't working out. I think I better go lay down for a while. I really need to get a pillow under my back and maybe pop a Hilary Hahn CD in the old stereo and try to forget the pain. Yeah that sounds good. Just dream of me and Hilary down at the beach, running and laughing and dipping our toes in the surf. Man, makes me feel better already. The waves crashing, the seagulls gliding in the distance, the crackling of the fire as she smiles and meets my gaze. Yes, I can almost feel the soothing touch of her fingers as she kneels beside me and gently rubs my aching back...

Ow, damn it. I almost forgot. My aching back! Excuse the early exit but I'm gonna have to catch ya'll next time.

And by the way, what ever happened to Hilary? No journal entries, no new CD's, no concert tours. Don't tell me she's down at the beach with someone else. Oh, how I suffer, how I suffer.

Wonder Of Wonder, Miracle Of Miracles

It must be a California thing, I guess, but still there's nothing quite like coming home after a long Fourth of July weekend and finding that your house hasn't been burnt to the ground. Not that people don't try- believe me they do. In fact it's now 2 days past the Fourth and I'm still going to sleep each night with the sound of a hundred little explosions popping in my ear (along with an occaisional Whistlin' Pete, of course - geez, are they still making those things). Oh well, that's life in the combat zone, I suppose.

One nice little suprise I did come home to was left on my front doorstep courtesy of one of the neighbors kitty cats. Ah yes, what better way to greet the day than to open the front door in the morning and find 10,000 flies buzzing around your head, and then look down at your feet and find a half-eaten carcass of a dead garter snake decaying all over your welcome mat. What a pretty sight that was, I tell ya', and especially nice were the 8 billion ants that were crawling over it and carrying it off piece by tiny little piece.

But then I don't blame the cat (and I think I know which one it was). Cats are just neighborly that way, and though I'd rather not take one side over the other, if I had to choose I'd rather have a cat as a neighbor than a dog any day. I mean other than the occasional dead bird or snake they may leave in the yard, cats generally keep to themselves and don't bark all night or crap all over your lawn, do they? No, that's what dogs are for and that's why I welcome my kitty cat neighbors. In fact, after I buried what was left of the snake I have to admit I even felt a little touched that this cat would think so highly of me that it would want to share it's meal. Well ok, maybe not touched, but at least I appreciated the gesture.

But you didn't come here tonight to hear about that, did you. No, people read blogs to catch up on all the latest tech news, so that's what I'm gonna give you.

Have you heard about this new Yahoo Music service? You haven't? Well great, let me tell you about it. For around $7.00 a month (or $5.00 a month if you sign up for the full year in advance) you can legally access Yahoo's entire library of over 1 million songs and download them to your computer or supported MP3 player. Of course Napster and Real Rhapsody have been offering this same service for a couple of months now, but at over twice the price. Yahoo is clearly trying to undercut the competition and win this market, and to sweeten the deal they're also offering a free 7 day trial for the service.

Naturally I had to check this out.

And that's where my next big suprise came because I've looked at these services in the past and have always been disappointed that my MP3 player was not among the ones supported. I could listen on my computer, but the only way I could take the music with me was to download it to my laptop and then lug that around with me whenever I wanted to listen. But when I looked down Yahoo's list of supported devices what should I spy but my cellphone listed as a supported device.

That's right - my cellphone!

Ah, the good ol' SMT5600 just keeps getting more and more useful everyday. So, to make a long story short, I signed up for the trial, downloaded a few CD's to my cellphone, and bada-bing bada-boom, it works perfectly. Now instead of having to carry around a MP3 player and a cellphone with me wherever I go, I have the option of just loading everything on the phone and leaving the MP3 player at home. I say "option" because there are a couple of drawbacks to this whole scenario.

The first is that my cellphone currently has only 512 MB's of storage on it, and that's because I only have a 512 MB flash memory card (miniSD) installed. Of course I could upgrade to a 1 GB card but the 1 gig miniSD cards are currently hard to find and a little on the expensive side. Still, 512 MB gives me room for about 8 hours of the high quality 192kb music which is enough to get me through the day.

The major drawback with the SMT5600, though, is the lack of a standard headphone jack. Like many phones on the market these days, the SMT uses a 2.5mm submini jack instead of the standard 3.5mm mini jack found on all other types of portable audio devices. Given the multimedia capablilities of this phone that seems like an egregious oversight to me and you'd think that Audiovox would at least offer some type of adapter with the phone so that users could use their high quality headphones with the device, but they don't. Fortuantely Palm One offers such an adapter for their Treo line of PDA phones and it looks like I'll be ordering one of those. In the meantime I'm stuck using the regular headset that Audiovox ships with the unit and although it sounds pretty good, I know my regular headphones would sound much better.

But nothing's perfect and, like I said, the music coming over the regular headset sounds pretty good. I know when I first heard that the wireless companies were going to offer phones with MP3 capabilities I thought the whole idea was pretty lame. I mean c'mon, listening to music on your cellphone - who are they kidding. But now that I'm there and doing it I gotta admit it's pretty cool. A little device that fits in your pocket (or on your belt) that can make phone calls, surf the net (sort of), retrieve your email, take pictures (albeit very poor ones), display pictures, play music, play movies, or perform a hundred other little tasks. I tell ya', it's what the modern world is coming to. Tell me this isn't geek heaven.

And I'm not even a geek.

I Love You California

Been a while since I brought you any news from California so I thought I better keep everyone up to date. Let's see, last time we checked the unions were launching a televised assault on the Governator and he was getting slaughtered in the polls. That's pretty much been the story since then, only for the Guv' it keeps getting worse.

A new poll was out yesterday showing that 59% of Californians think the state is headed in the wrong direction versus 28% that felt it was headed in the right direction. Bad news for Arnuhld, I'm afraid, although I can't figure out why that many Califorinians felt the state was going in any particular direction at all. I guess the poll was one of those "either-or" situations.

And then, as if that wasn't bad enough, a new poll came out today showing that only 39% of Californians even want to re-elect the governor come 2006. That's not good and likely means that the special election the governor has called for November 8 (an election widely regarded as the "Arnold" referendum) is not going to be a happy time for the Big 'G' either. And when you combine the first poll with the second what really becomes clear is that Californians don't like the way things are going and for that they blame Arnold.

Now let me just say that I have a problem with polls sometimes, especially when they ask these overly broad questions and don't follow-up with more specifics as to what's really behind the numbers. That's why I decided to conduct my own poll and probe a little deeper. Of course I didn't feel like actually going out and asking complete strangers a lot of stupid questions, so instead I decided to just make up some number on my own (hey, if Richard Scrushy could get away with it, why not me?). They're good numbers, though, and I'm sure if I'd done an actual scientific type poll the results would have been just the same. Ok, on with the poll results.

Question 1: For those of you who believe that California is headed in the wrong direction, do you believe this is
a) Governor Schwarzenegger's fault
b) The California Legislatures fault
c) No opinion

The results here were not suprising. According to my sample, 99% felt it was Governor Schwarzenegger's fault with 1% having no opinion.

Question 2: For those of you who believe it is Governor Schwarzenegger's fault, how many of you know the name of
a) Your state senator
b) Your state assemblyperson

Now here the results were more interesting. 0% could name their state senator, 1% could name their state assemblyperson, and 99% answered Diane Feinstein.

Question 3: For those of you who believe it is Governor Schwarzenegger's fault, what is the major reason behind your belief
a) He's a special interest pawn
b) He doesn't understand the needs of California
c) He wants to fire all the police and nurses and throw our teachers and children out in the street.
d) He's on TV

Again, no suprise here. 5% felt he was a special interest pawn, 2% felt he doesn't understand California, 28% thought he was going to fire all the police and nurses and leave our teachers and children homeless (they've obviously been watching those union commercials), and 65% felt it was his fault because he was on TV.

Question 4: The Governor had proposed using retired judges to draw district lines in California. Do you support this proposal or are you opposed?
a) Support
b) Opposed
c) Huh? I hate thinking about this stuff. Can we go on to the next question.

Results were 0%, 0% and 100%, in that order.

Question 5: In order to bring California's budget into balance would you support
a) Cuts to programs
b) Raising taxes
c) Empowering the Governor to adjust spending in times of economic hardship to give him more flexibility in dealing with budget shortfalls.

No suprises here. Not in California anyways. 11% supported cutting programs, 89% supported raising taxes, and no one supports giving the government control over our money.

Question 6: For those of you who support raising taxes, how much more would you be willing to pay? Would you be willing to pay
a) 5% more in taxes each year
b) 10% more in taxes each year
c) 15% or more in taxes each year

Well, the only thing certain is death and taxes, and, of course, the results for Question No. 6. 0% supported a 5% raise, 0% supported supported a 10% raise, 0% supported a 15% or more raise, and 100% answered "No, I didn't mean MY taxes. What the hell is the matter with you?"

So there you have it. By the end of 2006 we'll have had 3 elections in 2 years and after all the dust has settled the unions will still be in control and everyone will still be blaming the guy whose face is on TV. If ever there was a case study in 1960's style Democratically run Big Government, it's California, where a problem is only a problem because we're not throwing enough money at it, and the more money we throw the bigger and more intractable the problem seems to become. Yes, let's have a cheer for our Great Society.

But before I go there is one more item on my agenda for tonight. I have a special guest here who would like to take a moment and say a little something to all my millions of readers. Mr. President, the blog is all yours.

Well thank you, there, uh, Tony. Let me first say 9/11...Now, as to this whole idea of a timetable. Well, it's just a...you know, you can't have a timetable. I think we're making progress...9/11...but there's more that needs to be done, and I think we've got a freely elected government out there now and we just need to...they have to provide for their own security. And they will, I think they've got about 168,000 ARVN troops on the ground out there and...

(Uh, Mr. President. Did you say ARVN?)

Oh, no, sorry, let me rephrase that. I meant to say they've got about 168,000 Iraqi Security Forces out there and, yes, our resolve is being tested, but we need to stay the course and see this Iraquinization process through. And I know the American people stand behind me on this and will not give in to terror.

Thank you Mr. President.

No, thank you. And don't forget - 9/11

Everything New Gets Old Again


(In light of today's Grokster ruling this blog would like to remind its readers of its longstanding opposition to illegal file sharing and illegal file sharing networks. Old Man Radio would also like to make clear that all tracks played on the Old Man Radio Show are offered for download by the artists as "free samples" for the purposes of promoting and publicizing their works. Under no circumstances will Old Man Radio ever play tracks which have not been freely offered to the public by the artists and posted for public download at various legitimate and legal download sites around the internet. )

Well I finally put Old Man Radio No. 2 to bed and I think it's better than the first, but I don't know. I tried to be more extemporaneous on this one, but I'm not sure I pulled it off - sullen and morose seems to be more my style. Anyways it's "in the can" as they say, and I've come to a couple of early conclusions about this whole podcasting thing.

The first is that I must have been crazy to think that I could crank out a new show every week. I mean just do the math. 52 weeks in a year times 1 show per week equals (gulp) 52 shows! As much as I hate to disappoint my legions of fans there's just no way I can crank out 52 of these things. I figure a dozen or so a year would be pushing it, and I can't even imagine what kind of lunacy posesses these people doing daily podcasts who think they can do 250 or more and not run out of material or things to say.

Not that podcasting isn't fun. For someone who's never tried anything like this before it's actually a lot of fun, but it's time consuming, and not just the recording but also the research and preparation of material to put on the show. Geez, I never knew that radio involved all this actual work. I thought that the announcer just cued up the music and then went down to the breakroom for coffee and donuts until the next commerical break rolled around, but it looks like I was wrong. On my podcast it seems like when I'm not playing something then I'm preparing for what I'm gonna play or trying to get the mix right and all this other crap which I'm sure real radio hosts have their producers and sound engineers take care of while their down in the breakroom stuffing their faces.

(No, that's not true. I'm only kidding. I'm sure real radio hosts find things to keep them busy while the music is playing. But haven't you always wondered...)

Anyways, the second conclusion I've come to is really just a reaffirmation of something I believed all along. There are some out there who are saying that podcasting is just a fad, that it won't last, and that eventually the Clear Channels and Infinity Radios of the world will take over the space and shove all the little guys to the side. Well that could happen but only if someone finds a good way of making money off of these podcasts. To me that's the real innovation that needs to happen. Otherwise, if there's no money in it then why should the big guys even bother?

What I do think will happen is that the dabblers and dilettantes like me will sort of cycle in and out of the podspace, and although there will always be a sort of subversive, underground quality to podcasting it will need serious players who really want to make a go of it and push podcasting into the entertainment mainstream if it's going to survive. And in order to do that they're going to either need profitable websites that can underwrite the time and expense needed to do a real, viable podcast, or they're going to need to monetize the podcasts themselves.

We're already seeing some attempts made to turn podcasting into a real business. I'm hearing commercials pop up from time to time, and over at the TWIT podcast they're trying a donation model similar to the one that PBS and NPR use, albeit without the pledge breaks and all that Andre Rieu nonsense. People are trying things and, who knows, when Apple begins including podcast support in their Itunes music software there might be some bucks to be made with this stuff. If not, then maybe it is just a fad.

Anyways, check out the podcast. Now that I've had a chance to listen to a couple of them it has suddenly dawned on me that the audience that would be most likely to enjoy them, that is the over 40 crowd, are just the sort of people who would never even think of using their computer as an entertainment device. I mean when people over 40 are looking for home entertainment they turn on the TV, they don't boot up their computers. Which means that I, as a podcaster trying to reach that audience, must either be a pioneer or a damn fool.

I like to think I'm a pioneer.

Either way it's still ok. To tell the truth I think I'm doing the podcast more for my own enjoyment than anyone elses. But I think other people can enjoy it too.

As a fad if nothing else.


Ooh, Look What I Can Do


Looks like blogger's got a new feature. You just click a button and you can add an image to your blog. Ok, I'm game. Here's a picture I took at the beach up in Oregon.

Pretty cool. Thanks Blogger.

X = 2

I guess I could talk about Jack Kilby tonight. Not that I know anything about him or have a clue about how he did what he did - except change the world of course. But blogging and techy stuff just seem to go together, so I'll chip in what I can.

Oh, by the way, Jack Kilby was the co-inventor of the integrated circuit.

Anyways, the thing that sticks out most in my mind is the slide rule, and the fact that you don't see too many of those around anymore. Jack Kilby changed that, and even if he never accomplished anything else in his life the world would still owe him a huge debt of gratitude just for that. Geez, it seems like only yesterday that I was sitting in Mr. Barnes 7th grade math class trying to learn the intricacies of the A, B, C, and D scales and all those other weird looking things, and then Jack Kilby came along and invented the electronic calculator and changed the world forever. Now whenever you go into a McDonalds or a Burger King the person behind the counter doesn't even have to know how to add and subtract. They just press the little button that says "Hamburger" and the machine does all the math.

It's a Brave New World.

I know people under the age of 30 don't have a clue what I'm talking about, but when I was a kid (uh-oh, here it comes), I mean when "I" was a kid you actually had to know how to add 2 numbers together and get a result. You know, 8 + 5 = 13, leave the 3 and carry the one, 3 + 2 = 5 and voila, the answer is 53, that kind of stuff. And later, when you mastered you basic cyphers they stuck you in slide rule class where you had to learn slide this stick back and forth and move this little window in order to do things like multiply and divide really big numbers. You couldn't just punch the numbers in and press the equal sign to get the answer. In those days, men were men and you had to work for every answer you got.

It's funny but I wonder how many kids today would even know what a slide rule is. One, maybe two would be my guess. For the rest you'd have to explain how in the old days every kid had to learn how to use them and how their parents would take them down to the drugstore or five-and-dime and buy them one to take to school along with their pencil box and binder and pee chee folders, and then after you'd explained it all the kid would probably just yawn and look at you funny and tell you he needs to go log on to his computer so he can download a term paper for his english class tomorrow.

Ah yes, this modern world of ours. You know what we be really funny is to go up to a kid and ask him "Are there any five-and-dimes around here where I can buy a slide rule?" I'd like to see what kind of reaction that would get?

Oh well, I've still got my old slide rule from Junior High School. I don't know why - I just never got around to throwing it out I guess. What's really cool, though, is that I've still got my father's 1950's vintage Sun Hemmi No. 259 bamboo model in the original leather case. It's not worth much money (from around $30.00 to $75.00 from as near as I can tell), but it was my fathers and I remember how he always carried it around with him in his briefcase whenever he went to work or on a business trip. I also remember how I used to open up his briefcase sometimes and look at it and think that my dad must have been the smartest person in the world to be able to figure out what all those little numbers and hash marks meant.

Which brings up another point. Namely, the worst mistake you can ever make when you have an engineer father is asking him to help you with your math homework. I didn't want to bring this up while he was alive, but now that he has passed on I guess I can go ahead and mention it. Asking an engineer father to help you with your math homework is like sticking your head under Niagra Falls just to get a drink of water - you're almost certain to get way more than you bargained for.

"Dad, can you help me with my math homework?"

"Sure, what are you having trouble with?"

"Well, I can't figure this out. It says 2x + 3 = 7, solve for x. What am I supposed to do?"

"Oh, algebra, huh? Yeah, that can be a little tough sometimes. Get me some graph paper and I'll show you what to do."

"Graph paper? I don't think we're supposed to use graph paper Dad. That's not what the teacher showed us in class."

"What? No wonder you can't figure it out. It'll be much clearer if you graph it out. Go bring me my brief case and I think there should be a pad of graph paper in there "

"Well, oooooookaaaaaay..."

"I don't know where they get these teachers these days. Now you see we draw two lines like this. The horizontal one is called the x-axis and the vertical one is called the y-axis. Now what was that problem again?"

"That looks like Geometry dad. We don't start Geometry until next year."

"No, it's not Geometry, it's Algebra. Now what was that problem?"

"2x + 3 = 7. Solve for x"

"Okay, first we start with x. Now, you see, this is the x-axis so we just...er..."

"Dad, I don't think we're supposed to solve it like that."

"No, the way I'm showing you is better. Now, let me see, it's been so long since I did any Algebra. You plot out x along this axis and..."

"Aren't you supposed to subtract 3 from both sides or something like that?"

"What? No, yes, not now, ok? Let me think here a minute. This angle here is my theta and so the delta is going to be my (mumble, mumble, mumble...)"

"Dad?"

"Give me a minute to work this out, son. It's been a while since I've done any (mumble, mumble, mumble...)"

"I think there's a simpler way to do this."

"Go over to my briefcase and bring me my slide rule, will you? There, now let me just try a few test calculations and then I'll remember what you're supposed to do."

"Can I go watch TV now?"

"What? No. No TV. We've got to finish this first. You want to learn how to do this don't you?"

"(Not now I don't.)"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"There! Now what was that problem again?"

"Twooooo eeeeeex plussssss threeeeeeeee eeeeeequals seeeeeeeeven. Solve... For... X."

"Okay. You see that point there, if we just draw a line and then...hand me my slide rule again. There, got it. The answer is sin squared x over e to the negative theta."

"Huh?"

"Doesn't that sound right?"

"I don't think that's how the teacher showed us how to do it."

"Well, how did he show you how to do it?"

"I don't know. You're supposed to add to both sides and then multiply by something and then the x is supposed to be on one side and the answer is supposed to be on the other."

"Oh, is that how they're teaching you nowdays?"

"I guess so."

"Well they've changed everything around since I went to school. Maybe you better bring me your book and let me take a look."

"That's ok Dad, I'll figure it out."

"Are you sure? It might be clearer if I helped you."

"No, that's alright. Thanks Dad. I better go finish my homework now."

"Ok, but let me know if you need any help, ok?"

"Ok, thanks."

You know I was just looking at this slide rule and even after all these years I think I still know how to use it. Let's see, you take the 1 on the B scale and line it up under the 2 on the A scale, and you move the slider down the B scale to the 4, and then you look back up on the A scale and the answer is 8. 2 x 4 = 8. How 'bout that. I guess there are still a few neurons firing up there in the old gray matter yet.

Anybody need help with their homework?

Warm Up The Radio Uncle Ben - Old Man Radio Is On The Air.

When last we spoke I was a mere blogger, but now, I'm happy to say, I am a genuine, certified, bona fide radio broadcaster. Yep, you heard me right - I'm on the air, er sort of. You see, instead of just listening to podcasts and making an occasional comment about them, I decided to take the plunge myself by joining the podcasting world and making my very own podcast.

Yippee! Hooray! Old Man Radio is on the air!

You like the name? Yeah, me neither but you know I'm an old man and it's a radio show so the name seemed just seemed to fit. Anyways, recording it was a lot of fun in a frustrating, "can someone please tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do" kind of way. I used a program called Propoganda to record it, not because it's such a great program but because it was the only program I could figure out how to use, and I found a little company that was willing to host it for me with 100 megs of storage and unlimited bandwidth for 5 bucks a month.

And that was all there was to that.

You know it's true what they say about podcasting being so easy to do that anyone can do it. Unfortunately what they don't tell you is that it's easy for anyone to do, but even easier for them to do it badly. At least that was true in my case and I'm finding out fast that a good podcast involves a little more work than just recording and posting. Yes, I had more than my share of "technical difficulties", but that's all part of the learning process and I'm too stubborn to quit just because I made a fool of myself.

But like I said it was still lots of fun doing the show and I'm pretty sure I'm going to do some more. I've listened to it a couple of dozen times now and I think it's pretty good for the most part. At least the music is, I'm not so sure about the announcer. I need to put a little more enthusiasm into my voice or something, or at least try not to sound so morose and close to my death bed when I talk. Geez, I've been listening to this thing and I sound like somebody just ran over my dog. "Put a smile in your voice" - isn't that what they always say?

Oh well, I can work on that too - it's all just part of the debugging process, isn't it. In case you're wondering what the show is about it's a music show featuring acoustic songs I've downloaded off the net. I call it "podsafe music from the quiet side of the internet". Kind of catchy, huh? I should explain that "podsafe" is the term used to describe promotional music that bands from around the world have uploaded to the net to be distributed free of charge. It's a good way of getting themselves known and generating buzz, and a lot of it is just as good as anything you'll hear on the radio or purchase in the music store. My show plays the best acoustic stuff I can find, and it's done in a very laidback, relaxing style that I think anyone over the age of 40 would probably enjoy. At least that's what I'm shooting for.

Anyways, I hope you'll give it a listen. I'm trying to get the show added to the all the major podcast directories and for some reason I keep getting this awful feeling that they're going to listen to this podcast and say "What? You want us to add THAT to our directory? Are you out of your mind? I mean, our standards may be low but c'mon, they're still standards." But then again,who knows. Maybe they'll go ahead and add me anyways and soon millions of netizens around the world will be downloading my podcast and saying "Yes! That's just the podcast I've been looking for."

That's my fantasy anyways.

If you want to check it out then just add this link to your aggregator:

http://oldmanradio.libsyn.com/rss

Or, if you want to listen directly go to oldmanradio.com and click on the Direct Download link shown under Podcast 1. There's also a comments section there if you want to let me know what you really think of it.

And that's the show for tonight. Be sure to tune in again next week for another episode of Old Man Radio, podsafe music from the quiet side of the internet. This is Tony Myers signing off and wishing you all a Happy Father's Day.

And Now For A Word From Our Sponser...

How strange is this? When the Michael Jackson story broke I didn't find out about it on the TV or the radio, I read about it on my cellphone. I don't know if that strikes y0u as strange but it seems pretty bizarre to me. Just imagine how far we've come.

In the old days you probably got your news by going into town on market day and taking in the local gossip. Then when literacy came around newspapers and magazines were added to the mix. Pretty soon the 20th century added radio and television, and now here we are in the 21st century and it's the internet that's finally becoming the dominant source of news. In fact Reuters is reporting that 1/5 of all newspaper readers are now reading their papers online.

What are we to make of this? I don't have a clue, but things are changing fast, and now with this new Smartphone of mine I'm able to carry the newspaper in my pocket and read it anyplace I can make a wireless phone call. And in fact it's better than a newspaper because just like the radio or CNN it's updated continuously throughout the day, and using SMS messages it can even push the days top stories to me on either a pre-scheduled or ad-hoc basis. Yeah, I know this is nothing new to all those veteran cellphone users out there, but, remember, I'm not a geek so this is all new to me. And besides...

This is so cool!

Of course if I was in the newspaper business I might not be feeling the thrill of it all. I mean, I'm probably what the newspapers would consider the prime demographic for newspaper readership and yet I hardly even read the paper anymore. In the morning I fire up my computer and go straight to my "My Yahoo" homepage for all the latest news in the topics I'm most interested in, during the day I keep myself updated by downloading the news to my cellphone, and at night I get in-depth reports from the gang over at PBS and local news from my local TV stations. Geez, who needs the newspaper anymore?

Yep, the times they are a-changing and I for one am all for it. I like having my news come to me, and I like that it's timely, and I like being able to read it wherever and whenever it's convenient for me. Really, when you stop and think about it, the only advantage that newspapers still have is their ability to focus locally and bring me more in-depth, feature type stories about things that are happening in the neighborhood and local community. In every other way the new media are eating their lunch.

So, what can I say except that I love my SMT5600 Smartphone. It's kind of in that middleground between a plain old cellphone and a full-fledged PDA and I like that. I never really wanted a cellphone just to talk on, and I've already got a PDA so I couldn't really see spending $500 on another on just so that I could stick it up to my ear and and talk to Aunt Mabel with it. The SMT5600 is just a good little multimedia device/cellphone that fits my needs to a T. It organizes, it plays media, it makes phone calls, it connects to the net, and if they could have figured out a way to put a little keyboard on it then it would have been just about perfect. As it stands now, you can't really do email or any kind of heavy surfing with it, but like I mentioned in an earlier post you can use it as a bluetooth modem and connect it to a laptop or PDA when the need arises.

And it's only $100.00 (with 2 year activation - ugh).

In case you're wondering what sort of news I can get here's a sampler: CNN, CBS Marketwatch, the NY Times, AP News, Bloomberg, Yahoo, Google, ESPN, CBS Sportsline, SI, E! Online, Premier, Hollywood.com, The Weather Channel, Accuweather, Mapquest, etc... as well as horoscopes and travel guides and all sorts of miscellaneous content. But since it's a Smartphone that means it also has a built-in web browser so I can go to a place like Skeezer.net and get mobile access to all kinds of sites like NPR or the Wall Street Journal as well. In theory I should also be able to go to audio sites and download podcasts and audio streams but I'm not having much luck with that. The device is certainly capable of playing audio and video and sounds pretty good with the included headphones, but I think the connection just isn't fast enough or maybe there's some other network reason why I'm having so many problems downloading audio. If and when 3G ever gets here that might all change, but in the meantime you can always just download audio and video to your computer and sync it over with Activesync. I've tried it and it works just fine.

Well, that's my little SMT5600 commercial. When the Windows Mobile 5 devices start showing up later this year I'll probably wish I'd waited a little longer before buying, but it's hard to argue with the price or the features you can get right now.

Que Sera, Sera

In the world of financial crystal ball gazing the "collapse of the markets" has simply got to be the hottest thing going. The theory, in case you haven't heard, goes something like this: The baby-boomers are going to retire, and then they're going to sell their stocks and dump billions and billions of shares into the financial markets, and then the financial markets are going to collapse from the accumulated weight, and then we're all going to be destitute and eating out of garbage cans. It's inevitable, you see, and people everywhere are talking about it.

Too bad it's a bunch of bull, but even so there I was watching the Wall Street Journal Report (a fine show, by the way) and wouldn't you know it they had this professor of finance is up there and...

Maria: Professor, in your new book you predict dire things to come for investors in the years ahead. Can you explain why you think things look so bleak?

Tweedy Professor: Well, Maria, the baby-boomers are going to retire and sell their stocks and there's not going to be anybody around to buy them all.

Maria: Oh, I see. Then you think that the baby-boomers are the last generation that will ever want to own financial assets?

Tweedy Professor: Yes, that's right. After the baby-boomers retire no one will want to save and invest anymore. When that happens the financial markets will collapse and we'll all be living in poverty and despair.

Maria: Interesting... (Maria says that a lot)

Tweedy Professor: There simply won't be any money left after the markets collapse.

Maria: Sure, there's no money so there's no one to buy stocks. Interesting. Let's turn now to my other guest to get his reaction. You're an investment advisor. What are you telling your clients? Is it the end of the world?

Nattily Attired Investment Professional: No, we don't think so. (Nattily Attired Investment Professionals always say "we" instead of "I"). We've looked at the problem and we're actually quite bullish.

Maria: But you just heard what the tweedy professor said.

Nattily Attired Investment Professional: Yes, and quite frankly we think the professor has a drug problem.

Maria: Drug problem professor? Or do you think the Nattily Attired Investment Professional is being too optomistic?

Tweedy Professor: Yes

Maria: Yes what? Yes to the drug problem or yes to being overly optomistic?

Tweedy Professor: Both

Maria: Ok then, let me toss it back to you. You've heard the professor admit he has a drug problem but he still thinks the world is coming to an end. What is your response?

Nattily Attired Investment Professional: Maria, we're not going to run out of investors. Sure there'll be poverty and despair but the fact is that the rich continue to get richer - filthy rich, in fact, and when you've got that much money, well, there are only so many things you can buy. We think that going forward there will be plenty of investment opportunites for that 1% of the population.

Maria: Professor, what about that? Sure there'll be poverty and despair but there are also gonna be a lot of money in the hands of the super rich.

Tweedy Pr0fessor: First let me clarify what I said earlier Maria. Yes I use drugs but it's not a problem. I'm only chippin' and I assure you I can stop whenever I want. Now, about the whole concentration of wealth question.

Maria: Yes, professor. Let's face it, there are only so many mansions and yachts and private jets you can own before you start to get bored with it all. Won't these people still be investors?

Tweedy Professor: Well, that's a good point Maria. Sure, the super rich will continue to invest in the financial markets. But we're only talking about 1% of the population here.

Nattily Attired Investment Professional: Yes, but that 1% has 99% of the money.

Tweedy Professor: Yes, but will they be investing in the U.S. markets, especially if those markets are in decline because of the intense selling pressure brought on by this upcoming wave of retiring baby-boomers. I think you'll see them looking to overseas markets instead where the growth rates will be much higher.

Maria: Sounds pretty thin professor. Ok, Mr. Nattily Attired Investment Professional we'll let you have the last word on this subject.

Nattily Attired Investment Professional: Whether you buy or whether you sell - we still get our cut.

Maria: Well said, and I'm sure we'll want to have you both back on the show to continue this discussion. Mr. Tweedy Professor and Mr. Nattily Attired Investment Professional, thank you both for being on the show.

Tweedy Professor: Thank you Maria.

Nattily Attired Investment Professinal: Thank you.

Maria: Coming up next. The housing market - Is there a Bubble? We'll talk to a leading financial columnist to get his views on why he thinks the real estate market will collapse and we'll all be living in poverty and despair and eating out of garbage cans. That and more coming up on the Wall Street Street Journal Report. I'm Maria Bartiromo. Be sure to stay tuned.

Oh Black Water Keep on Rollin'

Do you like your water company? I like mine and you know why - every year they send out an Annual Water Quality Report to all their customers on the safety and cleanliness of the County's water supply. I mean, in this modern age isn't it reassuring to know that a nameless, faceless bureaucracy like the San Jose Water Company really does care about it's customers and really does want to take the time to sit down with them and ease their tap water fears? You bet it is, and that's why when my copy of the "Annual Water Quality Report 2004" came in this month's bill, I, like so many others, couldn't wait to open it up and tear right in. And let me tell ya', now that I've read it I'm convinced that not even the dryness of a Saharan summer or the infernal fires of hell could ever persuade me to drink another glass of their water again. Not in this county anyways.

Not that the SJWC ever intended anyone to really read the report, mind you. In fact just getting through the first paragraph was enough to tie any normal brain into knots. Geez, if you want to inform consumers don't send us them a document that looks like it was written by a committee of chemists and engineers and biologists (and their lawyers) - send them something readable. I'm betting that most people who actually do take the time to read it will make it about as far as the second paragraph before they skip ahead to the charts and illustrations. At least that's what I did.

Let's go through it together, shall we?

Let's see, where do we start. Well here's a pretty blue and green picture on the last page that shows Santa Clara County and the sources of it's drinking water. Hmmm, what a pretty little picture, and it looks like I'm in the blue area which, according to the Legend, means I'm drinking imported surface water. Yum-yum, surface water - now that sounds tasty. I hope by that they are referring to water that's been stored in surface reservoirs (as opposed to underground wells) and not water that's run-off of surface streets and into ditches and rain gutters. I'm sure that's what they mean but I'll be damned if I'm going to go back through the report and try to find an explanation.

Well, anyways, that's interesting. I always wondered where my water came from and I'm glad that I'm in the pretty blue area and not the ugly green one, even if I am drinking surface water. Turning back a few pages I also see they've also included a nice little chart. Gee, I like charts. It's called "Primary Standards - Mandatory Health related Standards". Across the horizontal axis they've set out the Units, MCL's and PHG's or MCLG's and down the verticle axis they've listed the parameters in their study. What a boon to consumers eh? Why just imagine all the times you've sat over your morning cup of coffee and wondered just how many PHG's of Radionuclides there were in that little cup.

Well continuing down the left hand side of the chart comes we finally come to the good part. This is where they list all the stuff that's in your tap water, and my advice would be to stop reading at that point and just be glad you don't know what's in there. But being the damn fool I am I can't help myself so here goes. Here's what we got: Aluminum, Arsenic, Barium, Beryllium, Chromium, Fluoride (good for your teeth), Nitrate, Selenium, something called Gross Alpha Activity (15 MCL's of that but O PHG's, thank goodness), Radon, Dichloroethylene, Trichloroethane, Total Trihalomethanes, Haloacetic Acids, Coliform Bacteria, Lead, Copper and of course Chlorine, Choride, Iron, Sodium, Sulfate, Zinc and Manganese.

Gee, is that all. I was worried there might be some foreign substances in there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying. "What are you getting so paranoid about. Don't you know that it's perfectly normal to have Halocetic acids in your water? Why, even spit has more Trihalomethanes and Radionuclides than tap water does (not to mention Gross Alpha Activity). It's nothing to be concerned about so why don't you quit your whining and deal with it." Well, alright, I hear you and I'm not whining. I'm jus a little concerned that's all. I thought tap water was just, you know, water. H2O and maybe a few little buggies swimming around. I never really stopped to consider there might be Arsenic and Radon and Trichloromethanes floating around in there too. And now that I know, I kinda wish I didn't.

You know?

But I'm not whining and since I can't make heads or tails of this chart anyways I guess it must be okay. They wouldn't publish this stuff unless the water was ok - right? But then again... what about some of these other things? What are Nephelometric Turbidity Units anyways? And why are these Unregulated Contaminants listed? Boron? Vanadium? Hexavalent Chromium? Aeromonas? Shouldn't they be regulating that stuff?

Oh man, I don't feel so thirsty anymore. Honestly, I wish the SJWC wouldn't send me anymore consumer information. Ignorance is highly underrated and I think I would have been happy just to pay the bill.

Oh Black Water Keep on Rollin'

Do you like your water company? I like mine and you know why - every year they send out an Annual Water Quality Report to all their customers on the safety and cleanliness of the County's water supply. I mean, in this modern age isn't it reassuring to know that a nameless, faceless bureaucracy like the San Jose Water Company really does care about it's customers and really does want to take the time to sit down with them and ease their tap water fears? You bet it is, and that's why when my copy of the "Annual Water Quality Report 2004" came in this month's bill, I, like so many others, couldn't wait to open it up and tear right in. And let me tell ya', now that I've read it I'm convinced that not even the dryness of a Saharan summer or the infernal fires of hell could ever persuade me to drink another glass of their water again. Not in this county anyways.

Not that the SJWC ever intended anyone to really read the report, mind you. In fact just getting through the first paragraph was enough to tie any normal brain into knots. Geez, if you want to inform consumers don't send us them a document that looks like it was written by a committee of chemists and engineers and biologists (and their lawyers) - send them something readable. I'm betting that most people who actually do take the time to read it will make it about as far as the second paragraph before they skip ahead to the charts and illustrations. At least that's what I did.

Let's go through it together, shall we?

Let's see, where do we start. Well here's a pretty blue and green picture on the last page that shows Santa Clara County and the sources of it's drinking water. Hmmm, what a pretty little picture, and it looks like I'm in the blue area which, according to the Legend, means I'm drinking imported surface water. Yum-yum, surface water - now that sounds tasty. I hope by that they are referring to water that's been stored in surface reservoirs (as opposed to underground wells) and not water that's run-off of surface streets and into ditches and rain gutters. I'm sure that's what they mean but I'll be damned if I'm going to go back through the report and try to find an explanation.

Well, anyways, that's interesting. I always wondered where my water came from and I'm glad that I'm in the pretty blue area and not the ugly green one, even if I am drinking surface water. Turning back a few pages I also see they've also included a nice little chart. Gee, I like charts. It's called "Primary Standards - Mandatory Health related Standards". Across the horizontal axis they've set out the Units, MCL's and PHG's or MCLG's and down the verticle axis they've listed the parameters in their study. What a boon to consumers eh? Why just imagine all the times you've sat over your morning cup of coffee and wondered just how many PHG's of Radionuclides there were in that little cup.

Well continuing down the left hand side of the chart comes we finally come to the good part. This is where they list all the stuff that's in your tap water, and my advice would be to stop reading at that point and just be glad you don't know what's in there. But being the damn fool I am I can't help myself so here goes. Here's what we got: Aluminum, Arsenic, Barium, Beryllium, Chromium, Fluoride (good for your teeth), Nitrate, Selenium, something called Gross Alpha Activity (15 MCL's of that but O PHG's, thank goodness), Radon, Dichloroethylene, Trichloroethane, Total Trihalomethanes, Haloacetic Acids, Coliform Bacteria, Lead, Copper and of course Chlorine, Choride, Iron, Sodium, Sulfate, Zinc and Manganese.

Gee, is that all. I was worried there might be some foreign substances in there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying. "What are you getting so paranoid about. Don't you know that it's perfectly normal to have Halocetic acids in your water? Why, even spit has more Trihalomethanes and Radionuclides than tap water does (not to mention Gross Alpha Activity). It's nothing to be concerned about so why don't you quit your whining and deal with it." Well, alright, I hear you and I'm not whining. I'm jus a little concerned that's all. I thought tap water was just, you know, water. H2O and maybe a few little buggies swimming around. I never really stopped to consider there might be Arsenic and Radon and Trichloromethanes floating around in there too. And now that I know, I kinda wish I didn't.

You know?

But I'm not whining and since I can't make heads or tails of this chart anyways I guess it must be okay. They wouldn't publish this stuff unless the water was ok - right? But then again... what about some of these other things? What are Nephelometric Turbidity Units anyways? And why are these Unregulated Contaminants listed? Boron? Vanadium? Hexavalent Chromium? Aeromonas? Shouldn't they be regulating that stuff?

Oh man, I don't feel so thirsty anymore. Honestly, I wish the SJWC wouldn't send me anymore consumer information. Ignorance is highly underrated and I think I would have been happy just to pay the bill.

And That's The Way It Is

There's always this temptation to say the internet changes everything. I don't know why in the year 2005 anyone is still saying that, but there are those who do. Particularly the old-timers (like me) who keep trying to redefine the internet in terms of all that came before, to redefine the new in terms of the old, calling internet auctions the new "marketplace" or blogs are the new "journalism", etc..., as if one has anything to do with other.

And they just don't get it.

The fact is the internet is entirely new. With the internet we now have a means by which anyone in the world can have a one-on-one connection with any other person in the world whether for commercial, personal or political reasons, and the challenge of somehow organizing the chaos of billions of voices all talking to each other at the same time into something cohesive and usable. That's all an internet auction or a blog or any other internet enterprise is, a means of organizing the chaos, and even though a journalist may publish a blog, to label all blogs as "journalism" is patently absurd. It's just one voice speaking out and if it finds an audience then so be it, and if it doesn't then that's ok too. Either way, it isn't the "new" anything nor does it "change everything".

(I also hate it when they call the internet a "community". Geez, 3 drunks passed out in a bar can be a community - that doesn't mean their accomplishing anything useful or significant.)

Anyways, that's the way I've always felt, but you know every now and then something comes along on the net that can almost change my mind. Podcasting for one, and that's what I really want to talk about tonight. In particular I want to tell the tale of 2 podcasts. One that showed how the internet can change everything, and one that showed how the internet has changed nothing.

The first podcast was the Daily Source Code for June 6, 2005. For those unfamiliar with the podcasting world, the Daily Source Code show is really the primal seed from which all podcasting has propogated and spread, and although it certainly wasn't the first downloadable audio on the net, Adam Curry has to be credited with creating the concept of the podcast (audio over RSS) and of promoting and nurturing it's growth over the past 10 months or so. He's a pretty interesting fellow too, and way ahead of many in the podcasting community in espousing the notion that podcasting is going to have to become more than just a hobby or a dalliance before it can ever succeed in "changing everything." No doubt he's taken some heat for some of his more businesslike pursuits in this regards, but like the philospher said, "So long as others praise you, you can only be sure that you don't walk your own true path but somebody elses." Ok, maybe that's a bit of an overtatement. He's not God or anything, but perhaps "if others can't see it's only because they lack his vision".

Anyways, the reason I bring this up is not to suck-up to the guy but to talk about the June 6 show and how it relates to the potential of podcasting and the internet, and in particular to talk about a song he played that was written and recorded by some soldiers serving overseas in Iraq. Now that might not seem very remarkable at first, but when you stop to think about it it's very remarkable, isn't it?

I mean just stop and think of how we usually get our war news. A reporter is sent over and does some interviews, a camerman shoots some footage, some commentary is added, and then it is all sent to be cut down and packaged and put on the evening news or in the morning paper. And that's not to say it can't be very well done. The reporting can be good, the footage compelling, and the editing concise and to the point, and yet there's something missing. Somehow the viewer or reader isn't really sure he's getting the whole story, or the important story, or even the unbiased truth for that matter. In the end it's just a secondhand version of the truth.

Now compare that with this song these soldiers recorded. This was not pictures or summaries or secondhand accounts, this was not some windbag or pundit spouting off into a microphone or camera about what was happening and what we should be doing and all that. This was a firsthand, primary account from soldiers actually fighting the war. Soldiers who weren't just talking to a reporter, but rather giving us their actual unfiltered and uncensored emotions and relating a little of what it's like living with this war day and night. It might not have been the definitive summing up of everything that is happening over there, but it was a perspective you don't get from the MSM (Mainstream Media) and yet as worthy and compelling as anything you'd find on the evening news.

Could the MSM bring you stories like this? I suppose they could, but they don't, do they? That's what's so different about the internet and podcasting - the fact that there are no barriers, no rules of what you can do and can't do and still sell a 15 second commercial. The fact that raw information can come straight from the mouths of these soldiers, over these wires and cables, and directly into my ear, without any intereference or reinterpretation to muddy the waters. The fact that even as anonymous as they are, they can still get their message out and find an audience who'll listen. I tell you, listening to that song made me think that just maybe the internet can change everything.

And then I heard the other podcast. This one was the May 13, 2005 show from Larry's World, a podcast put out by longtime technology writer Larry Magid who happens to be a very fine writer and a much wiser man than me when it comes to the internet and new technologies. His podcast is mainly interviews with the movers and shakers of the computer world and although he talks kind of funny his interviews are some of the best to be found anywhere on the podcast dial.

On the May 13 show he interviewed Rob Chandhok of Qualcomm, a leading player in the telecommunications business, and this is where it starts to get really depressing. Chandhok, it seems, is leading Qualcomm's push towards bringing you and me television shows over our mobile phones, a curious concept to be sure but one that could play out someday if the spectrum and the high speed networks necessary to make it work ever become widely available in this country.

So here was this guy Chandhok talking to Magid and you know what is his vision for the future is? Why good 'ol network TV on your cell phone of course. But what about some of these newer developments Magid asked him, things like blogging and podcasting? Will we be able to get this kind of grassroots programming on our phones? Well no, Chandhok said, I don't think that's what people really want. They want quality network-type programming, not these narrowcast type of shows that will only appeal to a handful of people.

In other words (and is anyone really suprised by this), according to Qualcomm what the people really want is a world where a few big media companies and a few big telecommunication companies have complete control over what we can watch and enjoy. Yeah, I was thinking, that's what the people want. That's why we're going to subscribe to their services - just so we can watch the same crap on our phones that we see in our living rooms every night. Geez, who wouldn't want that.

But that's how the internet looks to the people in Hollywood and over on Madison Avenue. TV is just this stuff they sell and the internet is just the new "online marketplace". Same goes for newspapers and magazines and music and radio. It's just what they sell, and they can't imagine anyone wanting anything different. And as long as they control the infrastructure and pay the salaries and sell the advertising space, that's the way it's gonna be.

So you see, the internet changes nothing.

And just one more quick thought while I'm on this technology topic. The folks over at KenRadio have been discussing this idea of mobile phones on airplanes and dreading what this is going to mean for the travelling public who find themselves stuck in a middle seat between a couple of idiots blabbing on their cell phones for 5 or 6 hours. The consensus over at KenRadio seems to be that the airlines should designate a special area of the plane, preferably in the rear next the bathrooms, where these people can go and blab to their hearts content without annoying the rest of the passengers. I'm in complete agreement, but I think a better place for the blabbers would probably be down in the cargo hold, or maybe out out on the wing somewhere? Yeah, you need to make that important call? Ok, just strap on these bungie cords and go stand out there by the left aileron. And don't forget to knock when you're ready to come back in.

Funny thing is, I bet there would be people who'd do it.

You Can Relax Now Sisyphus, It's All Downhill From Here

It's been Geek Week here at the Myers household. Not that I'm a geek mind you, but every now and then in this modern technological age it becomes necessary for even the most balanced and well-rounded person to don that pocket protector and dig in for some good ol' fashioned geeky fun. Yes, yes, and now I'm sure you're wondering Tony, Mr. Geek Man, how exactly do you connect your pda and cell phone over bluetooth to get on the internet? Well, glad you asked, and you know you could always call your wireless company and they could tell you, but that's not the geek way is it? No, that would be too easy, and that's why you'll often find geeks searching through message boards and FAQ's and poring over manuals and help files at 4:00 in the morning, never admitting defeat and desparately attempting to avoid that dreaded call to Technical Support.

At least that's what I do. That's how you learn, right? Right? That's why you're banging your head against the desk at 4:00 in the morning and thinking "God I love technology. I'm learning so much from this experience."

But I'm getting ahead of myself so let me start at the beginning. Although it may have escaped your notice it is now official - the last person on the planet not to have a cell phone finally broke down and bought one last week. "How can that be", you ask, "it's 2005 and you still don't have a cell phone? What's wrong with you?" Well, the answer is simple. First, I don't like dealing with phone companies and second, since I'm neither mobile nor particulary professional and since I'm not the sort of person that likes to stand around and gab on the phone all day, I figured I didn't really need one. But the world keeps spinning and you have to change with the times, so, like I said, I finally decided to take the leap and go out and buy one.

Of course I did a lot of research first. Websites, reviews, product comparisons, forums...you name it I did it, and I found a ton of information out there. I mean, if your looking for information on phones and plans then all you need to do is fire up your browser and seek it out because I guarantee you it's out there (a particulary good site I found was Howard Forums, but there are plenty of others). And I found something interesting. While it's true that some wireless companies suck more than others, the consesus on the internet seems to be that by and large they all pretty much suck.

That was disappointing because I was hoping to find at least one true gem of a company, but unfortunately it seems that whether you're talking about service, billing, or support, well, there just aren't a whole lot of happy customers out there. True, people who are happy with their wireless company aren't typically the ones who go online and bitch and moan about them, but still there are plenty of horror stories and they cut across the board - Verizon, Sprint, Cingular, T-Mobile, they all have their share of unhappy customers. The situation kind of reminded me of something that Thomas Friedman's wrote in his book. Namely, why is it that people in Ghana can get better cell phone service than people in the U.S. can?

Anyways, I finally went with Cingular. "No! Not Cingular!" I can hear you saying. Well, yes, I went with Cingular. Believe me I heard all the horror stories, but the fact is that Cingular has the largest network and they have a really good deal going on the Audiovox SMT5600 Smartphone, so I went over to Amazon.com, signed up for the service and bought a smartphone. And that's all I have to say about that, and I should also add that I read many good comments about the phone and it got a particularly good review over at CNET.com.

I've had it about 4 or 5 days now and let me just say that I love this phone. Beyond the basics it also happens to be a powerhouse of a multimedia device, and in my area at least the coverage has been 3 or 4 bars all the way. But I don't want to talk about that too much. There is plenty of information on the phone out there and plenty of users who can talk more eloquently about it, both pro and con, than I. However, the best feature, and the one I was most interested in, was that together with everything else it can also be used as a bluetooth modem. That means that using this phone any bluetooth enabled computer or laptop or PDA can get on the internet even when there is no ethernet or Wi-Fi connection available. Other phones can do this too, of course, the SMT5600 isn't the only bluetooth enabled phone out there, but it was an important selling point that helped sway me in the direction of this phone.

Which takes me to tonights topic. How do you connect your PDA to your Audiovox SMT5600 over bluetooth. This is where it gets interesting because it isn't explained in the manual and there is an enormous amount of misinformation on the internet on how to get it done. I must have read 10 different opnions on how to do it and I can say, after much trial and error, that all 10 of them were wrong. Here then, as my service to the community of Audiovox SMT5600 users out there who may find themselves on the same fishing expedition I was on, is my simplified guide to connecting to the Cingular EDGE network using a bluetooth phone and a Bluetooth PDA:

Step 1: Establish a bluetooth bond between the 2 devices. This is the simple part, and no doubt you will find it documented in your user manual. In the bonding process you want your PDA to discover your mobile phone, not the reverse because you will be using the mobile phones services to make your connection.

Step 2: Make a new bluetooth connection. After you have established the bond and double-tap the mobile phone's icon in bluetooth manager this should happen automatically. If not, just tap New and run the wizard. The type of connection you want to make is the Connect to Internet via phone connection, which should be the first one listed.

Step 3: Enter throught the next screen and enter your passkey on your PDA and phone to connect the devices.

Step 4: Make a new connection and name it anything you want. There are lots of people out there telling you to give it some specific kind of name, but you can name it anything. I call mine GPRS.

Step 5: To set up your connection use the following settings

Phone number: *99#
Username: WAP@CINGULAGPRS.COM
Password: CINGULAR1

Note: These are the only settings you need. There are a lot of people out there who are telling you to use the phone number *99***1# and then telling you to go into the advanced settings and enter in an initialization string for your modem. YOU DO NOT NEED TO DO THIS! I can't tell you how many hours I spent trying to troubleshoot the connection using those settings until I finally figured out they are totally unecessary. Think about it. If you are able to connect to MediaNet, if you are able to log onto your POP3 account with your phone and retrieve your email, then your phone already has a GPRS connection set up and ready to use. You don't need to remake what's already been made.

Further Note: If you are connected to MediaNet (that is the default connection and the one that comes included with all voice plans) then you are using WAP. There are some people out there telling you to use ISP@CINGULARGRPRS.COM as the Username and that is wrong. Again, hours and hours wasted trying to figure that out. the ISP... Username is for people with Data Connect plans, not MediaNet plans. MediaNet is WAP GPRS.

Step 6: Uncheck the box that says "Wait for Dial Tone" if checked. I don't if that's necessary but it makes sense to me. Could save you a few hours troubleshooting.

Step 7: Tap Finish and you're done. Now just double-tap your new connection and I bet you'll be connected the same as me.

There, now wasn't that easy. Unfortunately you've got to sort through a lot of garbage before you finally find the right information, but once found it's an easy process to set up. Now with that all done I think I'm going to put my phone down and turn off my computer and go get some sleep. This stuff is exhausting and right now I'm feeling pretty tech'd out. I just want to go to bed and then maybe get up in the morning and do something normal for a change. It was a lot of work and the benefit, of course, is now I'm totally wired. As long as I can get a good signal then I can log on and surf. Ok, it may be a little slow but I can surf.

God, I sound just like a geek, don't I? Sheesh, I better go to bed now.

The World Is Flat

The thing I find most interesting about Thomas Friedman's new bestseller isn't that the world is going flat - people here in the Silicon Valley have known that for years. No, what I find most interesting is that even as businesses and economies around the world are being fundamentally changed by the rapid advance of new technologies, political institutions, at least here in the U.S., seem to be headed in the opposite direction. Technology is pushing us towards new economic freedoms, while politics seems to be pushing us towards medievalism. The new economy empowers the individual, while under the new politics the government becomes a tool of evangelicals bent on crushing individual freedoms under the weight of official church doctrine.

I think they call that a paradox, and my bet is that the world will continue to modernize despite our politcal leader's predilictions towards running back to the past. Let's face it - in the end it all comes down to money and jobs, and while it's true that money and politics are inextricably intertwined, if forced to choose one over the other I think most people would choose money and jobs over moral absolutism. Then again, you never know about the growing power of these social conservatives. They've won the Congress, they've won the White House, and I wouldn't be too suprised to see Thomas de Torquemada appointed as William Rehnquist's replacement on the Supreme Court. Now that would be an interesting Republican convention. Speeches, balloons, confetti and a little Auto da fe to round out the evenings entertainment. Ahhh..., and I bet it would get good ratings too.

Anyways, I'm reading this book about the flattening of the world and I should probably mention that I haven't finished it yet. In fact I'm only about a third of the way through it but it's one of those provocative type books that gets your mind going in all different directions and thinking "what about this" and "what about that". The style is little off-putting, what I'd call "Zig Ziglar", and at times it reads more like a sales pitch than a piece of non-fiction. But it's full of facts and details and the author, being a famous talking head seen regularly on TV news shows and roundtable discussions, is very adept at hammering home his talking points and keeping the viewer (er, reader) entertained and disinclined to reach for the remote.

If you haven't read the book yet then I'd go ahead and pick up a copy. The basic premise is that the combination of powerful hardware, sophisticated software and high-speed networks are creating a new digital economy which is breaking down the traditional borders between nations and corporations and flattening the world. We see this effect primarily in the outsourcing of jobs and the offshoring of companies, and the new economy is in fact becoming a kind of global meritocracy wherein the best talent at the best price wins the job regardless of where they might be situated geographically.

No arguement with that, although not much of a shock to anyone who has followed the goings on in the world.

In what I've read so far Friedman gives a history of how these technological changes came to pass, and it's a pretty entertaining post-1989 romp through the history of high tech. I might argue a few points here and there but it's still remarkable to reflect back on it all and wonder at how fast it all seemed to happen. It seems like only yesterday that I was writing a Trumpet Winsock script to get my little 28kbs PPP connection going, and now here I am blogging over an always-on connection with over 100 times the bandwidth.

Pretty amazing.

So, anyways, that's all I have for tonight. I'm kinda in my "read" mode right now and digging into all these books and magazines I've had stacked up and never got around to reading. I started that Guns, Germs and Steel book by Jared Diamond that everyone's been so hyped up about but I only made it about 2/5 of the way through. I think Jared Diamond must have learned to write books at the same place that Richard Wagner learned to write operas, although not acquiring Wagner's sense of brevity and pace. Everytime I pick it up and start reading I get about halfway through a chapter and think "didn't he already say all of this a few chapters ago?" Oh well, I'll finish it - just not all at once.

Of course I've got the trashy stuff too. Yes, my first (and last) Nora Roberts book, and I didn't even know she wrote it because the the book cover said the author was J.D. Robb who, it turns out, is really Ms. Roberts in disguise. Anyways, what a read, huh? I thought it was a mystery when I downloaded it, but it's not really what I'd call a true, Agatha Christie type mystery. Basically, the plot is as follows: A horrific crime is comitted, the heroine investigates, goes home to rich, handsome husband, passionate lovemaking ensues, next day she investigates some more, goes home to rich, handome husband, passionate lovemaking ensues, next day another horrific crime occurs, heroine investigates, goes home to rich, handsome husband, passionate lovemaking ensues, etc, etc, etc...

Yep. Turns out that this "mystery" is really nothing more than a romance novel with corpses. As you might have guessed I don't read many romance novels but it was nice to see what the other side is reading for a change. You know, take a little peek at every woman's secret fantasy. Hmmm., very interesting stuff ladies, but, I gotta tell ya'. Even though this may be your secret fantasy, personally, I think the woman's husband is biologically impossible. I mean he's this amorous every night? Hot, passionate and not stopping until he's satisfied his savage desire? Every night? EVERY NIGHT?

C'mon. If that was real life he'd be dead by Chapter 10.