The Lost Cause

This is going to be the big week when Gen. Petraeus finally gives his report to Congress, not that anyone is expecting any big surprises. I think most people already have the gist of what he's gonna say. In fact, I was reading somewhere that somebody took a poll somewhere and found that a majority of Americans think that Petraeus is not being truthful about the situation in Iraq - and he hasn't even finished his report yet. Geez, you'd think people would at least let the guy open his mouth before they start calling him a liar.

But that's not how it works, and it all fits in with a phenomenon that I call the "liar, liar, pants on fire" syndrome. You see, through careful research and observation I've come to the conclusion that it's always easier to call someone a liar than it is to allow that he might be telling the truth. The reasons are simple. So long as you call someone a liar then that puts the onus on him to prove he's telling the truth. He's the one who is called to action, not me. I only have to stand and point.

On the other hand, if someone tells me something and I accept it as true, then the situation is reversed. He's done his job and now I am called to action. For example, if someone comes up to me and tells me my house is on fire and I dismiss him as a liar, then it's up to him to prove he's telling the truth. However, if someone comes up to me and says "look, isn't that your house on fire?", and I see that my house is indeed on fire, then suddenly it's me who has to get off my lazy butt and do something about it.

Does that make sense? Maybe I didn't explain it as well as I should, but I think the basis for 90% of all cynicism in any given population can be directly linked to the "liar, liar, pants on fire" syndrome. It's just so much easier for us lazy humans to dismiss something as a lie and feel ourselves astute than it is to act on uncomfortable truths. Not that I know what the General is going to say, but the sooner we can agree it's all lies then the sooner we can get back to what we were doing before we were so rudely interrupted.

Don't you agree?

Anyways, I don't think there's anything that Petraeus could say that would assuage the Copperheads, er Democrats. At least not when there is an election so close at hand. You make a little progress in Anbar and Baghdad and they just complain that you haven't ended the violence in all of Iraq. You end the violence in all of Iraq and they complain that you haven't ended the violence in Afghanistan. You end the violence in all of Iraq and Afghanistan and they complain that you haven't brought peace to the Middle East. You end the violence in all of Iraq and Afghanistan and bring peace to the Middle East and they complain that you haven't brought about total world peace. You end the ... you get the idea.

Personally I think what the General should do is occupy Savannah. I mean it worked before, didn't it? Why not give it a try. Just have Petraeus send a telegram presenting the City of Savannah as a Christmas gift to the President, and watch the tide of public opinion turn. Of course Petraeus seems more of a diplomat that General Sherman was, and Dubya is certainly no Abraham Lincoln, but what this Iraq War needs is a identifiable symbol of success. Without that, the American people are just going to keep on thinking that the politicians and generals are a bunch of liars.

And speaking of the Democrats, did you see that little fundraiser that Oprah Winfrey gave for Barak Obama the other night. Oh you should have seen it. Here we had the Democrats, the "green" party, then environmentally conscious anti-global warmimists, making their way into a car park to be bussed up the road to Oprah's exclusive Montecito Estate, and among these earnest and committed people not a Prius or Civic or any other fuel efficient vehicle in sight - just block after block of idling limousines and birds falling dead out of the sky from the fumes.

I guess that's all a part of what you could call the "it's easier for rich people to make movies about the world's problems than to sacrifice any of their comforts to actually do something about them" syndrome. Meanwhile, here's crusty old me riding my GZ to work each day (70 mpg), while these Hollywood hypocrites pollute the skies and debauch themselves with money, sex and drugs.

Damn, what am I doing wrong?

Dubya's Last Stand

"Hi George. Damn, you look awful."

"I've gotta go to Germany. They all hate me you know."

"Who does?"

"All them Europeans. They all think I'm some kind of Yahoo or cowboy or something."

"It's the war, George. I told you that was gonna be trouble."

"You did?"

"Yeah, don't you remember. I told you it was going to be our Northern Ireland, only, it turns, I was being way too optimistic."

"Now the country wants to bail out on me. Instead of sticking it out, they want to turn tail and run. Thank God you're still on my side. At least you don't think we should surrender to these sons of ..."

"Well, actually..."

"Actually? What do you mean? Don't tell me..."

"Look, George. There are some really savage, murderous, people in the world. People who don't think twice about strapping a bomb on someone, yelling 'God is great', and sending them into a crowded market to kill helpless men, women and children. People who would cut your throat just for the thrill of it and the chance to be on national tv. People who rule by terrorizing the innocent. I hate to see the U.S. back down from people like that and let brutality win the day. But facts are facts - we're not making any progress. The enemy seems to grow stronger while we seem to bleed a little more each day. All I'm saying is maybe it's time to rethink our strategy."

"No. We can't surrender. We can't let the world think the U.S. is nothing more than a paper tiger. If we do, we just invite more attacks and more terror. We have to stick it out."

"I didn't say surrender, George. Sticking it out is one thing, but we're not getting anywhere. You know I'm all for making a stand and not yielding to ruthlessness and cruelty, but this war of ours is starting to look less like a brave stand and more like Pickett's charge. At some point we've got to regroup and rethink our options. Instead of calling it surrender, maybe you should think about whether or not Iraq is the right place to fight these guys in the first place."

"If we leave Iraq, then that's it. The democrats will never authorize another deployment. We'll have been defeated, and all those soldiers will have died in vain."

"How do you know? Losing the battle doesn't mean the war is lost. C'mon George, let's be realistic. Iraq is like a dream come true for these terrorists. They have cover, freedom of movement and a seemingly inexhaustible supply of arms and equipment. Meanwhile, we're the the big, foreign superpower, and, for crying out loud, we can't even keep the lights on and the water running. That's not the way to fight these guys, George. Face it, a big show of force is just a bigger target to attack, and the terrorists have all the time in the world to hit us and then disappear into the desert. It's futile."

"But we're there and we can't just walk away. Not without finishing the job."

"Yeah, we've go to finish the job, but not there. Not when all we're doing is squandering ourselves. Maybe it's time to find a new strategy, only this time we take what we've learned and get smart about it. You know, as this radical Islamist movement gets stronger and we continue to beat our heads against the wall, there is a possibility that we could lose this fight. We seem to be taking it for granted that we could swat Al-Qaeda like a fly if we so choose, and yet what kind of victories have we won? Where's our track record? For all the heated rhetoric after 9/11, what lessons have we taught them about invading our country and attacking our citizens? Yeah, I know that the democrats think that if we just ignore the problem it will go away, but we've got to be more responsible than that. We've got to figure out a winning strategy and put the terrorists on the defensive, and we're not going to do that by spilling our blood all over the Iraqi desert."

"It's too late for that now. If we don't beat them in Iraq then it's over. We've got to stay the course. We've got to beat them there. Whatever it takes."

"But General Lee, I have no division. "