The Lost Cause

This is going to be the big week when Gen. Petraeus finally gives his report to Congress, not that anyone is expecting any big surprises. I think most people already have the gist of what he's gonna say. In fact, I was reading somewhere that somebody took a poll somewhere and found that a majority of Americans think that Petraeus is not being truthful about the situation in Iraq - and he hasn't even finished his report yet. Geez, you'd think people would at least let the guy open his mouth before they start calling him a liar.

But that's not how it works, and it all fits in with a phenomenon that I call the "liar, liar, pants on fire" syndrome. You see, through careful research and observation I've come to the conclusion that it's always easier to call someone a liar than it is to allow that he might be telling the truth. The reasons are simple. So long as you call someone a liar then that puts the onus on him to prove he's telling the truth. He's the one who is called to action, not me. I only have to stand and point.

On the other hand, if someone tells me something and I accept it as true, then the situation is reversed. He's done his job and now I am called to action. For example, if someone comes up to me and tells me my house is on fire and I dismiss him as a liar, then it's up to him to prove he's telling the truth. However, if someone comes up to me and says "look, isn't that your house on fire?", and I see that my house is indeed on fire, then suddenly it's me who has to get off my lazy butt and do something about it.

Does that make sense? Maybe I didn't explain it as well as I should, but I think the basis for 90% of all cynicism in any given population can be directly linked to the "liar, liar, pants on fire" syndrome. It's just so much easier for us lazy humans to dismiss something as a lie and feel ourselves astute than it is to act on uncomfortable truths. Not that I know what the General is going to say, but the sooner we can agree it's all lies then the sooner we can get back to what we were doing before we were so rudely interrupted.

Don't you agree?

Anyways, I don't think there's anything that Petraeus could say that would assuage the Copperheads, er Democrats. At least not when there is an election so close at hand. You make a little progress in Anbar and Baghdad and they just complain that you haven't ended the violence in all of Iraq. You end the violence in all of Iraq and they complain that you haven't ended the violence in Afghanistan. You end the violence in all of Iraq and Afghanistan and they complain that you haven't brought peace to the Middle East. You end the violence in all of Iraq and Afghanistan and bring peace to the Middle East and they complain that you haven't brought about total world peace. You end the ... you get the idea.

Personally I think what the General should do is occupy Savannah. I mean it worked before, didn't it? Why not give it a try. Just have Petraeus send a telegram presenting the City of Savannah as a Christmas gift to the President, and watch the tide of public opinion turn. Of course Petraeus seems more of a diplomat that General Sherman was, and Dubya is certainly no Abraham Lincoln, but what this Iraq War needs is a identifiable symbol of success. Without that, the American people are just going to keep on thinking that the politicians and generals are a bunch of liars.

And speaking of the Democrats, did you see that little fundraiser that Oprah Winfrey gave for Barak Obama the other night. Oh you should have seen it. Here we had the Democrats, the "green" party, then environmentally conscious anti-global warmimists, making their way into a car park to be bussed up the road to Oprah's exclusive Montecito Estate, and among these earnest and committed people not a Prius or Civic or any other fuel efficient vehicle in sight - just block after block of idling limousines and birds falling dead out of the sky from the fumes.

I guess that's all a part of what you could call the "it's easier for rich people to make movies about the world's problems than to sacrifice any of their comforts to actually do something about them" syndrome. Meanwhile, here's crusty old me riding my GZ to work each day (70 mpg), while these Hollywood hypocrites pollute the skies and debauch themselves with money, sex and drugs.

Damn, what am I doing wrong?