It Ain't Too Hard To Live With Somebody Else's Troubles
(They don't make you lose any sleep at night)

Scientists call them "conversations you don't want to have" and everyone knows how unpredictable they can be. You can be having the most pleasant little chat with someone then all of a sudden - BLAM! - the whole thing starts to turn. I ran into an old co-worker of mine today.

"Hey D. , is that you. Man I haven't seen you in years."

"Tony? How are you? I haven't talked to you in ages."

"Yeah, how long has it been? Must be at least 6 or 7 years."

"You're looking great - haven't changed a bit."

(So far, so good)

"Thanks, you're looking pretty good yourself. Say are you still working for ..."

"No, I got laid off."

(BLAM!)

"Laid off? Are you kidding. Why?"

"I don't know. I've been out of work for over a year and there's just nothing out there."

(Over a year! Oh geez, I do not want to have this conversation)

"Things are that bad?"

"Worse. Thirty years in the business and then suddenly no one wants you anymore."

(You're making me nervous here D. You know I've got over 20 years in the business myself...can we please end this conversation)

"Geez, I'm sorry to hear that. How are you doing? Are you getting by ok?"

"Yeah. I'm getting by. How are things around here? Are you guys pretty busy?"

"No, it's been slow. "

"Yeah, that's what I heard. I've been putting in my applications but no one's hiring. I've got all this experience, you know, but what are you going to do?"

(Tell me about it. All I can say is there but for the grace of God go...no, I don't want to deal with this right now. Please, don't make me deal with this)

"Yeah, it's pretty tough. "

So anyways, for some reason that got me thinking about Siegfried. (Yeah, I know it's weird). I started thinking about the part where he drinks the dragon's blood and the songbird explains to him that now he has the power to hear what is truly in people's hearts. For some reason the whole conversation just started me wondering what would happen if I drank some of that dragon's blood and instead of hearing what is truly in other people's hearts, they could hear what is truly in my heart. If instead of trying to say something kind I just said what was really on my mind. I know it would never work in real life but it just might work in a blog.

"Hey D., how are you?"

"Not too good. I got laid off."

"Oh really. Well, it was just a matter of time."

"What?"

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that when you start getting old, you know, they want to push you out the door. At least nowadays they do."

"I had thirty years in the business."

"So?"

"So, that ought to count for something."

"Says who? Face facts, D. After thirty years all you are is a great big drag on the balance sheet, you know what I mean? The world's changing. All an employer wants these days is some drone who'll push keys on a computer for a dollar a day. And who can blame them. I mean you can't blame the lion for devouring the sheep, can you? That's the way he makes his living."

"Well thanks. That makes me feel completely worthless. Got any more good cheer you want to spread?"

"Ah, I'm sorry. I don't know what's got into me. I got some dragon blood on my hand and took a little taste and all of sudden I'm saying all these crazy things."

"No, forget about it. You're right. It's all numbers and computers now."

"Yeah, I'm just counting the days myself. So far I've been lucky, but someday my luck's gonna change, you know? I mean it's been nice working in a department that doesn't really have any tech-savvy people in it, after all a technological backwater does have it's advantages, jobwise, but I know that someday some corporate tech-head is gonna come walking through that door and figure things out. You know?"

"Like what?"

"Like the whole outsourcing thing. It's all electronic now, D. It's all online. Sooner or later someone's gonna figure out that there are college grads in Bombay making 10 dollars a week who could do a lot of this work just as well as we can sitting here in this office. And when they do... well, I hope you'll save me a spot in the unemployment line."

"Thirty years in the business and... "

"I hear ya."

"And when that day comes what do you think you'll do?"

"Well I hear there's this blond sleeping on a rock."

"Huh?"

"Forget it. Bad joke."

So that was my day. Pretty depressing, if I do say so myself. After all these years it's back to the same old question of what do you want to do when you grow up. Problem is I still haven't figured that one out.

I think maybe I'd like to be a concert violinist. I say that because I was over at Hilaryhahn.com the other day catching up on all the latest Hilary news, and I tell ya' being a violin soloist looks like it would be a pretty nice job to have. Lots of travel, lots of food, stay at the best hotels - not a bad way to make a living. Probably a lot of partying and hellraising and groupies and all that too, although I'm not really sure if female concert violinists have groupies. Hmmm, not likely come to think of it. I think they just have rich, sculpted boyfriends with gel in their hair and manicured nails.

Maybe that's what I'll do when I grow up. I'll be Hilary's rich, sculpted boyfriend and follow her around to Paris and Berlin and drive expensive cars and drink expensive champagne and strike elegant poses and flirt shamelessly in nightclubs and create gossip and scandal and... oops, I almost forgot.

I'll need some money first. And I'm gonna need some sculpting too. No, I take that back. I'm gonna need lots of sculpting. Which makes me too old to start the violin and too fat and poor to be a gigolo.

I tell ya', this has been a depressing day.