I Love You California

For as long as I can remember the government of the state of California has only had two items on it's legislative agenda. The first being gerrymandering, and the second pork-barreling. I kid you not and I don't think a single Californian will be suprised if after the upcoming election the first order of business in Sacramento is redrawing the district lines, followed closely by the annual obstruct the budget process. Yes, as sure as summer follows spring the accusations will fly back and forth across the aisle, and in the end every Senator and Assemblyman will be careful to get their piece of the pie, and all the other business of the state will go unattended.

The reason I bring this up is because I just got back from vacation and what should I find awaiting me in my unopened pile of mail but my 2004 Voter Information Guide (and supplement). In other states that might not be much of a deal and certainly not worth mentioning in this blog or anywhere else, but you see in California, because of our disfunctional state governement, each election presents us with these things called propositions where the voters are asked to enact the legislation that our legislators are too distracted to consider.

What this means is that every election year a Voter Information Guide (VIG) arrives in the mail with page upon page of legislative mumbo jumbo that we are asked to study and vote on. This years VIG, I'm happy to report, runs a mere 125 pages (or 146 pages total with the 21 page supplement) and presents us with no less than sixteen different propositions to consider before we head out to the voting booth on November 2nd. And of course Californians, being the conscientious and responsible citizens we are, read each page carefully and completely, highlighting significant points and engaging our fellow citizens in careful and thoughtful deliberation before making our choices on these important issues.

Or maybe not.

Actually, most of us probably just watch the commercials - they're great. They always feature a spokesperson from some group calling itself Taxpayers for a Better California or Citizens for Responsible Government telling us how voting Yes on this proposition is going make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. These people are sometimes countered by spokesman from some other group calling itself Fairness for All California or The Jarvis Taxpayers Alliance telling us if we vote Yes on this proposition then the governement is going to start throwing babies from planes, and so the debate is started with each side telling us not to let ourselves be decieved by the other. Of course most of us don't completely understand the issues to begin with so we become confused and say "Gosh, I love that warm and fuzzy feeling but I don't think it's right that they should throw babies from planes. What should I do?"

And so we turn to the VIG. Here we get the actual text of the proposed legislation and a legislative analysis that tries to explain to us what it is we just read. Then, of course, we get the arguments pro and con which mimic more or less what we've been hearing on the commercials, and then, being fully informed by our 3 minutes of study, we head to the polling place and cast our ballot, fully secure in the knowledge that if the proposition is defeated it'll probably show up again in the next election, and if passed, it will be overturned by the courts.

Democracy in action!

Of course along with the VIG (and supplement) we also get our sample ballots which are my favorite part of the whole electoral process. First we get five more pieces of legislation to vote on (called County or City Measures) plus we also get page after page of candidate's statements for all the local elective offices like School Board Member or Water District Superintendent. Used to be in the old days when political machines ran things you didn't really need to pay much attention to these sorts of local offices - you just voted for Boss Tweed's man or Boss Pendergast's man and that was that. But now that we've removed all the corruption from our politics things have gotten much harder. Thank goodness we have the candidate's statements to sort these things out.

Hmm, I see Candidate A is for good schools and lower crime. Whew, can't say he's afraid to take a controversial stand on the issues. He describes himself as a tough, no-nonsense businessman who knows how to get things done and is endorsed by the blah-blah-blah, the blah-blah-blah, the blah-blah-blah, etc... Sounds like the candidate for me. Let's see what his opponent has to say.

Hmm, seems she's also for good schools and lower crime. This is going to be harder than I thought. She has twenty years experience as an educator and administrator, understands the problems facing our schools and is endorsed by the blah-blah-blah, the blah-blah-blah, the blah-blah-blah and the blah-blah-blah too. All fine organizations. I guess I'll have to decide between her and Candidate A, but let's see what the third candidate has to say.

Hmm, Candidate C describes himself has a indolent ne'er-do-well who supports graft, bribery and dumb kids. He promises that if elected he'll fade into obscurity and never be heard from again till next election and do everything he can in the meantime to make sure that every squeaking wheel that can pay the freight gets its axle greased.

Finally, an honest politician. You know who I'm voting for.