"Hello everyone and welcome to Weekly Business Roundup, where each week we look back at what was making news on Wall Street, and what lies ahead for you and your money. I'm your host Jackson Bailey."
(go to camera 2)
"Well, after what proved to be a particularly brutal week for investors, with the stock market in a deep decline and continued weakness in housing and the credit markets in turmoil, what should investors be doing now? Here to talk about that with us this week is our special guest Dr. Jack Kevorkian. Dr. Kevorkian welcome."
"Thanks for having me."
"What about this market? What's going on out there? Do you think the subprime mortgage mess is to blame, and have we seen the worst of it?"
"Before I get into that, Jackson, do you mind if I ask you something? That is, sre you feeling alright? I can't help noticing that you seem to be in some kind of pain."
"No, I feel fine. I guess I slept a little funny last night and now I've got some stiffness in my neck, but I feel great. Really."
"Oh, ok, I just thought I'd ask. You know no one has to live in pain, Jackson. There are other...more humane ways to deal with these very personal issues."
"No, Dr. Kevorkian - honest, I'm alright. Now back to the markets."
"Yes it was a very tough week for investors, wasn't it. How they've suffered, and a miserable, futile kind of suffering as well. In times like these I think it's important for investors to weigh their options, and consider some of the alternatives, if you know what I mean."
"How about those investors who sold bonds a few weeks ago when we had that big selloff in the bond market and saw the yields go well above 5%, only to invest that money in stocks and watch the stock market promptly go into the toilet just as the bond market started to rally and regain it's losses. What would you say to them?"
"I'd tell them that they must feel like total assess, but there's no reason to feel that way - worthless and stupid, if you know what I mean. It's all so avoidable."
"Well, Dr. Kevorkian, what would be your advice to investors in times like these?"
"My advice would be to face the truth, no matter how brutal, and ask themselves some hard questions. Can they really go on living like this, and what about the future? Sleeping on park benches and eating out of garbage cans - is that how they want to live out the rest of their days?"
"You don't mean..."
"I can offer them another way. A machine. It's very simple and humane, and portable too. That's so important for investor's who cherish their privacy."
"But Dr. Kevorkian, it's only money. I mean, for crying out loud, it's only numbers on a piece of paper."
"Only money? Is that what you think? Is that what your audience thinks? C'mon Jackson, let's be..."
"No. That's enough. The interview is over. This is a finance show, not The Twilight Zone."
"Sometimes it can be comforting to take control over your own destiny and..."
"I said that's enough Doc. People, if you don't know what to do with your money then put it in a CD or money market account. Take your 5.25% and wait for the dust to clear. But whatever you do, don't listen to this nut job."
"How often we fear what we don't under..."
"Will somebody please cut his mike. Thank you. Please join me next time on Weekly Business Roundtable when we'll discuss mezzanine subprime collateralized debt obligations with our special guest Tony Danza, and until then have a great week."
(but enough about the economy, let's talk about me)
Did I tell you I bought a bike? No, not a "hawg", but a bicycle. A Trek 7200 with Alpha Aluminum frame, RST CT-COM I C7 50 mm front suspension, alloy front and Shimano RM60 rear hub with Matrix 750 rims, a Shimano TX71 48/38/28 crank (with chainguard), and a Shimano Alivio rear derailleur, to be exact. I have no idea what any of that means, but it cost me $380 bucks.
First I should say that back in my younger days I had a Raleigh 10 speed which I used to ride just about everywhere, but since then my riding has been a little, uh, sporadic. After my Raleigh I bought a Mongoose hybrid that I rode for a while, but that soon found it's way to the trash heap. Since then, I haven't done much (any) bike riding.
That said, I decided I needed to get some exercise and since I live in one of the best bicycling areas in the country (that's a fact - I read it in a magazine), I bought the Trek. The only reason I'm bringing this up is because I know that there are probably some people out there who are in the same kind of shape I'm in and might not have done much bike riding lately, and if that's the case, then I've got some good news for you.
First of all, forget about that bike you used to ride years and years ago. These modern bikes are nothing at all like those. Bicycle technology has advanced leaps and bounds over that old 10 speed you used to ride. This Trek I've got is a 24 speed hybrid which means lots of gears to work with and no more drop down handlebars. Of course that has it's advantages and disadvantages. For example, try riding into the wind and you'll quickly discover the advantages of a bent-over riding position, but, all in all, us old folks will generally find the upright seating and the extra gears a little more comfortable and reassuring.
The Trek also has shocks on the front fork and underneath the seat, which is also greatly appreciated by us old geezers. I won't say the ride is butter smooth, but it's a lot better than those bone shaking models we rode as youngsters. The seat itself is generously padded, with extra padding provided in the butt cheek areas and a little groove running down the center of the saddle. Mothers and daughters may not appreciate the groove, but fathers and sons surely will.
The bike itself is smooth as silk to ride and shift. In the old days we used to have those derailleurs that went "chick-chick-chick" as we coasted along, but nowadays these things are absolutely silent. That can be dangerous if you happen to come up behind someone who can't hear you coming, so the Trek also has a little bell mounted on the handlebars that you can ring to let them know you're coming. Personally, I'd rather just yell "Out of My Way!" than ring that stupid little bell, but to each his own.
So there you have it. My new Trek 7200. The first time I rode the thing I went about 2 blocks before my legs started to burn and my lungs started running out of oxygen, but now I can ride a comfortable 7 miles or so each day. It's not much, about a half hour or so, but it's a start, and I'm thinking about getting a rack mounted on the thing so I can start commuting to work every now and then. We'll see. Meanwhile, I'm happy just pedaling along. I should mention that I'm already on my fourth tube for the rear tire because of all the garbage and debris that's piled up on the streets around here. That's the one drag about riding a bike, so if you're gonna start riding I'd definitely suggest you carry an extra tube, some CO2 cartridges and a tire tool with you. But if you can learn to fix a flat, then biking is actually a lot of fun.
And that's what's new in my world. Aren't you glad you stopped by?
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