Song of Myself

Like I was saying, I've been playing around with this demo of a program called "Band-in-a-Box". It's not a new program - in fact, the interface looks like it's circa DOS 3.3, but it's not about the graphics. What BiaB does is play accompaniments on your computer. You input the chords you want it to play, and it plays them back for you. You can also add melodies (more on that later) and change styles, etc... You can either play your BiaB songs through the computer speakers, or better yet, pipe them into the line-in jack on your instrument amplifier and start jamming away. Pretty cool.

(Oooh, wait. I've got the news on right now and there's a psychologist talking about the events of this past week. I want to hear this. Be back in a minute.)

"Based on your experience, what can cause a person to commit these violent acts, Dr. Greene.?"

"Well, often these problems go back to a person's childhood. Many such violent acts are a result of abuse suffered as a child, perhaps by a parent or relative or priest, for example. The person can feel victimized and powerless and look for some means of striking back."

"Do you think this student was abused as a child."

"Well, it's a strong possibility. My concern is what was the parent's role in all this. We often find serious problems arising from neglectful and abusive parents. If that's the case, then this young man would have been like a bomb just waiting to explode."

"I see, and what sort of warning signs should we look for if we suspect a child may have been abused as a child."

"Well, often times such children become rebellious and withdrawn."

"Is that what your examination showed?"

"No, I never actually examined the young man. I'm just offering an opinion."

"Oh, then what is your opinion based upon?"

"Well, you see I'm a media psychologist. You know, a TV psychologist. When these tragedies occur people like you call me up and I appear on their shows to offer my expertlike opinion."

"So you've never actually talked to any of the people involved in this tragedy?"

"No, not actually, but I read about it in USA Today."

"I see. What should we as parents and teachers do in response to what has taken place?"

"Well if you see a young person moping around or talking back to an authority figure, then you should see that as a danger signal. I'd suggest talking to the individual or taking him or her to a health professional to be evaluated and medicated."

"Good, practical advise, but as I understand it, this guy wasn't just moping around. He was stalking young women and was obsessed with violence and killing."

"Is that right?"

"Yes."

"Well I'd definitely consider that a further warning sign."

"Thank you for talking with us."

"My pleasure."

(Sheesh. Sometimes those TV psychologists scare me)

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, "Band-in-a-Box". One of the strangest features of the program is that you can type in a chord progression and then tell BiaB to generate a melody for it. Just like that! You can't do it with the demo, but I was watching a little tutorial video they have and it works. You give it some chords, and it comes up with a unique melody for it, which can only lead me to one conclusion:

We're all doomed.

Think about it. Music has become so mechanized and pre-programmed, that it's now possible for a machine to apply a little logic and come up with a pop tune or a country tune or even a jazz tune without any need for human intervention. Man, that's depressing, and maybe that's one of the reasons that I'm so drawn to classical music and opera. I mean, you can give BiaB some chords and have it come up with a hillbilly tune, but you can't just give it a bunch of chords and have it come up with Beethoven's 9th.

Not yet anyways.

(Oooh wait. Now they've got a security expert on. I want to hear what he has to say).

"What can we do to keep our schools safe?"

"Well, of course no environment can ever be 100% safe. However there are some steps that can be taken to minimize the risk that someone can penetrate a secure area and commit acts such as we've seen in Virginia."

"What would those steps be?"

"Well, I've been looking at a map of the campus and what I'd recommend are machine gun emplacements here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here. These would create a kill zone that could cover all the major entrances to the main campus area. Of course perimeter fencing would need to be erected to restrict movement to these pressure points. No more than a dozen K-9 units would be needed to effectively patrol the perimeter area, and metal detectors and bomb sniffing dogs would be used to inspect everyone entering the secure area. Mines could be placed around the outside of the perimeter fencing to keep anyone from straying to close. I would also recommend snipers placed here, here, here and here for early detection of any possible threats."

"Machine gun emplacements? Is that what our society has come to? Do we now need armed troops to keep our schools safe?"

"It's a balancing act. Some people may see .50 caliber machine guns as a menacing presence on their campuses, but if we're serious about safety then we have to take appropriate measures."

"And if people don't want their schools turned into armed camps?"

"You've seen the pictures on TV. The world's a dangerous place."

"Thank you for talking with us."

(Sheesh. Sometimes those security experts scare me).

So like I said, classical music may be the last bastion of humanity left in the humanities. Computer generated this and computer generated that, but you can't computer generate a Wagner or a Shostakovich. Band-in-a-Box is a handy little tool, but it can't replace the complexity and beauty of the human soul. Call me elitist, but I like complexity, especially in the arts. All this push button simplicity and ease of use is boring and a little alienating at times. Where's the humanity?

(Oooh wait, now they've got a media critic on the news. I want to hear this).

"Does the media have a role to play in these tragic events?"

"No, not really. They've got a script, but not a role."

"I don't follow."

"First they bring you the newsflash, then they show you the pictures, then they start filling in the story, then they confirm the numbers, then they bring on the analysts and experts. It's not a role - just a process, like getting a haircut or washing your car."

"But by making celebrities out of disturbed and violently anti-social individuals, doesn't the media contribute to the problem?"

"No. Look, most of us are thousands of miles away and don't know the people involved, but we want to feel involved. That's what the media provides. By doing things the way they do and by having these discussions on our TV screens, they make us feel personally connected to these tragic events. We want that. It's a basic human need, sort of like sitting around the table and talking about Aunt Clara's hip operation. Even if we aren't that close to Aunt Clara, she's family, and because of the media these people on TV are family. That couldn't happen without the media process."

"Even though the event itself is truly horrible."

"Especially if it's horrible. Trouble always brings the family closer together."

"How about bloggers. Is it in bad taste for a blogger to talk about an event such as this so soon after it's happened. Are people right to feel offended to see such a thing discussed in a blog?"

"Perhaps, but not if the blogger is being honest about his reaction."

"Well, my reaction was more of shock than surprise, to tell you the truth. I mean, I'm shocked at what happened, but not really surprised."

"That's a horrible thing to say. Would you say that about Aunt Clara?"

"No, I guess not."

"Okay, then."

(Sheesh. This blog scares me sometimes).