La Belle Musique

It's hard to pick the one worst song lyric ever written because bad songs can be bad in so many different ways. Do you pick the most nonsensical lyric as the worst ever. Well, in that case my nomination would have to be Stairway to Heaven. Just try to make sense of this, and then imagine what sort of drugs Robert Plant must have been taking when he wrote it:

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow don't be alarmed now

It's just a spring clean for the May queen.

That would certainly be a strong candidate for the most strange and obtuse award, but is it bad enough to be crowned king of the truly awful. Maybe we should also consider grammar and abuse of the english language. For example, how about this gem from America:

I been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert, you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain.

Yes, yes - who can ever forget that classic. But still, obtuseness and bad grammar aren't really enough to win the award for bad song writing. I think you need something more. I think you need to write something so contrived, so dumb, that the memory of it just stays in your mind and rings through your consciousness long after the song itself has faded. In that spirit I nominate as the worst song ever written Los Bravos' Black is Black:

Black is black
I want my baby back

Man, I haven't heard that song in 30 years and the sheer dumbness of it still gnaws at me. But that's not what I want to talk about tonight.

I ordered a DVD from Amazon.com about a month ago and it finally showed up in my mailbox last week (so much for Super Saver shipping). It's called Thais and it's an opera written by this guy named Jules Massenet. The funny thing is that the same week it arrived I also got my latest issue of Opera News and wouldn't you know it they have a review of the same DVD. It wasn't a bad review, but it wasn't a ringing endorsement either. Now I don't claim to be an opera expert by any stretch of the imagination, and I've certainly never studied opera or voice or attended any conservatories, but I think even a layman is entitled to his impression. I mean my opinions, however uninformed, are no less valid than some fancy-dancy music critic. So here's my review.

If you like music, then buy this DVD.

There. You don't need any more review than that. Ok, ok, maybe I should qualify it a little. First, despite what you may have heard, french opera is not as bad as all those music snobs say it is. If you're a neophyte's like me then I know it's hard not to be a little put off by the remarks that are bandied about by the critics, calling french opera billious and dull at best, and a trivial waste of time at worst. Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion, of course, but as far as I'm concerned it's all a bunch of arrogant bull.

Thais is, in fact, one of the most beautiful operas I've ever heard, with the emphasis squarely on the 'beautiful'. If you've ever heard the 'Meditation' from Thais then you know what I'm talking about. I know it's almost blasphemy to talk about art as being beautiful in this modern angst-ridden age, and while I agree that art does not have to be beautiful to be good, I don't think it should be denigrated and mocked if it isn't harsh and unpleasant either. I may be overstating the dispute, but there does seem to be this unstated opinion among certain people that beautiful art is for simpletons, not edgy post-moderns. At least that's the feeling I get.

Anyways, this is some beautiful music, and whatever misgivings you may have about the rest of the piece, it's hard not to be charmed by the sheer loveliness of Massenet's score. And if that's too french for your tastes, then so be it.

If I have to point to a flaw on this DVD it's in the performance of bass Michele Pertusi as Athanael, the male lead. Athanael is a monk who travels to Alexandria to find Thais and deliver her from wickedness and sin, but somehow Pertusi seems to lack the presence or charisma to make this character work. It's hard to believe that Thais would ever be captivated by this dull presence and escape with him to a convent in the desert, but unlikely as it seems off she goes. I, for one, was unconvinced. Still, this is a small criticism, a nitpick really, which subtracts little from the sheer beauty of this work.

I should also mention the nudity. There is, um, lots of nudity in this production, and if that's something that bothers you then you best stay away. I know I've always found naked people walking around on stage a little distracting myself, but in defense of the DVD I should add that I didn't think it was a problem here. There is a lot of ballet in Thais and the somewhat underdressed ballerinas appear quite often in dream sequences (or meditations) that play upon the sexual tensions that the pious Athanael feels in the presence of Thais and the members of her court. Unlike a lot of operas where the ballet feels tacked on, the ballet in Thais integrates well with the drama onstage and the eroticism plays in quite naturally with the overall feel of the action. So, the nudity wasn't a problem for me, but if you're a little squeamish about such things, then you have fair warning.

Other than that, Eva Mei sings the title role beautifully, and that music...did I mention how beautiful it is. It just lingers with you. Forget what you've heard about french opera and buy this DVD. It's a keeper, and that comes from someone who knows nothing about opera.

Now to completely change gears I'd also like to mention one more thing. I get emails from time to time from people who've read my blog and I'm always happy to get them, although for the life of me I can't figure out why anyone reads it. I mean, out of the millions and millions of blogs out there, why anyone would read this one is beyond me. It's not about anything and I don't have anything particulary cogent to say, but I guess that's it's all a part of being in the blogosphere.

Anyways, I got an email from Dave Ciccone from Dave's Ipaq thanking me for mentioning his podcast in one of my blogs a while back, and I just want to say thanks to Dave for taking the time to read my incoherent ramblings. If you own a IPAQ (or any Pocket PC or Smartphone device for that matter) then I highly recommend a subscription to his podcast or a visit to his website. I think he mentioned on one of his podcasts that he'll be changing things around later this year and expanding his borders beyond the IPAQ world, per se. I look forward to that, but even if stays strictly IPAQ I still think he's got lots of good stuff that any Pocket PC user would be interested in. Definitely worth your time, and thanks for the email Dave.